Dating
- Thread starter Wintermute
- Start date
Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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Is she right though? Are you looking for a commitment in some fashion or are you just dating? Doesn't matter either way, your point about "isn't that the point of a few dates" because thats how you find that out, but also her logic is not exactly unsound about you only being divorced a year.
Although it could easily go the other way in my mind too, I've seen guys essentially marry the 3rd girl they dated or whatever after divorce and then be married for a long time. Those guys like being married and jump right in.
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OU Ariakas
Diet Dr. Pepper Enjoyer
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I would not mind having a girlfriend, but I am not going to just take the first one that comes along. Also, dating is expensive and can be exhausting.
I think that is beside the point here, though. We did not talk about anything deeper than the weather and then she created my personality, wants, and inner feelings out of whole cloth based on her past relationships. If we had even a single date and she gleaned some of my mental state and "emotional intelligence" from that, then I would understand. As is, she decided that any guy that has not been divorced for a sufficient length of time is still "processing" (a truly female concept) and doesn't know what they want.
That is what I though, which is why I did not take the bait. I've spent more time typing these posts than I did worrying about how to respond to her texts.
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Animosity
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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This pretty much sums up my thoughts too. She already has a preconceived notion of who you are and what you are and telling how you feel. Shes clearly projecting her insecurities and trust issues upon you already. And the fact that in the first couple texts she has already sent you a nude without even meeting is a big red flag. She just wants validation.
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Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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You are 100% correct, I think she even says right in there that she thinks at a year after the divorce that you're not ready - how could she know that from some texts? Completely assuming based on her past experiences.
All I'm saying is in this case she appears to be right, you're saying you just wanted to bang her. Thats okay, not criticizing.
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OU Ariakas
Diet Dr. Pepper Enjoyer
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My assumption was that she just wanted to bang me!
Honestly, though, I don't make that decision until I'm actually on the date and talking to them. There have been a few times already that the girls have been ready and willing to go back to their place but I don't do it because I know that they are just not someone that I want to see long term and that isn't fair to them. I just thought this one telling me we were right for each other without even talking about the basic things that would determine if we were or weren't was pretty funny, especially after the pic.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Did she openly admit she rode the dick carrousel for a few years and was ready to settle down?
This is the kind of thing that happens when you're an attractive female on dating apps. You can be picky. This is her version of 6 feet and 6 figures. She wouldn't be wasting your time, but she would be wasting her own time because there's 10 other guys who want to take her out on friday who have been divorced longer than a year.
I'm listening to draft talk right now and there's one guy everyone was down on because his arms are too short. He made 60000 sacks in his college career, but, 'naw his arms are too short lets rank him below this other guy'. He doesn't play like his arms are short, but they are short and with so many other options his stock is falling apparently.
Ishad
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Sending titty pics to a person without meeting them first is wild. Only makes sense if your app or profile is geared towards hooking up. If you’re saying you are looking for a relationship and that’s her move? Unmatch and move on. That’s not the person for you.
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Izo
Tranny Chaser
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rhinohelix
Dental Dammer
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"Someone like this hurt me in the past" I mean, why work this hard for someone you have never met in person? She is obviously still hurt, bless her heart, by this 4-year post-divorce relationship she mentioned, not even including her previous marriage. She badly wants to be married again, to be in a relationship again, to have "her guy" and is SO SCARED that you won't be available for that, even though I think she liked you from the way the text reads that she is closing the door lest she get hurt again. She was excited enough to send you Nudes but as soon as she began to expose her own vulnerability, the memory of that loss and pain shut her down and made her close the door before it exposed her any further.
From your response, perhaps she isn't wrong? I wonder what she would have said if your response would have been "Anything for the right woman". She said that the other guy was a "Say Anything" so who knows if she would have believed it.
Dating at this stage of life is hard and we all have miles, don't we? It wasn't great in my early 30s when I met my current wife and I can't imagine what it must be like in one's 50's. Actually, I have a buddy who has always been blessed with great looks and not even he has had an easy time of it in his 50's.
From your response, perhaps she isn't wrong? I wonder what she would have said if your response would have been "Anything for the right woman". She said that the other guy was a "Say Anything" so who knows if she would have believed it.
Dating at this stage of life is hard and we all have miles, don't we? It wasn't great in my early 30s when I met my current wife and I can't imagine what it must be like in one's 50's. Actually, I have a buddy who has always been blessed with great looks and not even he has had an easy time of it in his 50's.
Rajaah
Honorable Member
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I don't recommend dating any woman who has parents that are Jewish, East Asian, or Indian. All three of those are very likely to give you a hard time and try to break you up if you aren't the same ethnicity as them. Then again, they're also the three highest income ethnic groups in the US, meaning the girl is way more likely to have wealth, so YMMV.