Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
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Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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Well last Saturday I got back from vacation, I took my 3 kids and wife out to see my family in Michigan. My family and I are very close, I talk to my parents multiple times a week. My dad has cancer and a rare disease that randomly causes him to experience some horrible things and will put him in bed for a week at a time when his body decides to go to shit suddenly.
I was out there for a week, they live in upper Michigan and ever since I was a child I've felt drawn to that area, it's hard to explain it really without sounding weird but lets just say I truly feel I belong there.
I get to see my family once year, my sisters live out there as well. When I left to come back to Minneapolis it was very hard to do so and immediately begin to feel down about it. I mean I figured that's natural and all, vacation ends, no one likes that...but it's more than just that.
So I get home Saturday evening and then on Sunday I have to drive my oldest two kids north to drop them off with the grandfather to take them back to their moms. (they live 4 hours north of me) I always have a rough time dealing with that too as I wont see them for almost four weeks.
Combine the two of those things and I feel fucking empty and I don't understand how not too. I've never felt like this, I'm usually very upbeat and the cheerful guy that makes everyone else smile and laugh. I do things that normally make me happy and I feel absolutely nothing other then a huge pit of emptiness. I was banking it would go away after a day or two but the shit is just getting worse and it's getting to the point where I'm having a hard time hiding it.
I don't know what to do about it and its driving me nuts and getting worse.
Echuta
Golden Knight of the Realm
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Sorry to hear about all the bad stuff, man. The best thing I can tell you is not to start hitting the bottle hard. Famm hit on it and I would agree that getting out and exercising takes some of the edge off. I would imagine this time of year in MN would be good for outdoor activities. Get some friends together and see a Twins game, go fishing, or just go running someplace where you enjoy the view.
What are the hurdles would you have to overcome in order for you to move back to Michigan?
What are the hurdles would you have to overcome in order for you to move back to Michigan?
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Do the workout thing, it really does help. Eating right does too. Investing in yourself helps, you just have to force yourself to do things that bring you out of the slump of just feeling shitty or feeling like you don't enjoy really anything. I don't know if you feel anything like I felt, but whenever I was depressed it always seemed like all the things I enjoyed doing, especially gaming, I couldn't even bring myself to do.
I spent a long time like that and I spent a long time alone, something I figure you don't have a problem with. First step for me was just admitting I was depressed and that what I was doing wouldn't make it better. I hated my life and nothing made me feel happy and nothing seemed worth the effort. Second step was admitting to the people closest to me how I felt at the time, and the catharsis it provided was immensely valuable.
You're probably not like me, and I definitely don't have a wife or kids. But the thing that worked for me is forcing myself into a place and time where depression didn't occupy me as it did before. It's not easy, and I don't know exactly how to approach it from the situation you're in except to tell you that you can't expect different results from doing the same things that put you in the same situation you're in.
Change will help, though. The situation you're in or the life you live has somehow contributed to your depression, and so a change of lifestyle or behavior might help you gain perspective, if nothing else. If it doesn't work, what do you have to lose? Worst case scenario is you stay in the same state of mind as you did before, and you get the chance to evaluate, if by no other means, through trial and error, until you can at least get close to locking down the central issue causing you to be depressed.
It won't last forever, and the sooner you realize that the sooner you'll be able to climb to the precipice you need to ascend before you can shed the weight that's holding you down. It will happen, and it may not be at a moment of your choosing, unless you choose it to be so.
I spent a long time like that and I spent a long time alone, something I figure you don't have a problem with. First step for me was just admitting I was depressed and that what I was doing wouldn't make it better. I hated my life and nothing made me feel happy and nothing seemed worth the effort. Second step was admitting to the people closest to me how I felt at the time, and the catharsis it provided was immensely valuable.
You're probably not like me, and I definitely don't have a wife or kids. But the thing that worked for me is forcing myself into a place and time where depression didn't occupy me as it did before. It's not easy, and I don't know exactly how to approach it from the situation you're in except to tell you that you can't expect different results from doing the same things that put you in the same situation you're in.
Change will help, though. The situation you're in or the life you live has somehow contributed to your depression, and so a change of lifestyle or behavior might help you gain perspective, if nothing else. If it doesn't work, what do you have to lose? Worst case scenario is you stay in the same state of mind as you did before, and you get the chance to evaluate, if by no other means, through trial and error, until you can at least get close to locking down the central issue causing you to be depressed.
It won't last forever, and the sooner you realize that the sooner you'll be able to climb to the precipice you need to ascend before you can shed the weight that's holding you down. It will happen, and it may not be at a moment of your choosing, unless you choose it to be so.
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You're human, its only natural.
Do stuff you enjoy and are good at, to help build your confidence. Exercising definitely helps. I get a lot of it at work, but on the weekends I'll go for a stroll if I really need to iron shit out.
Do something. The worst thing you can do is sit there and dwell on it.
Do stuff you enjoy and are good at, to help build your confidence. Exercising definitely helps. I get a lot of it at work, but on the weekends I'll go for a stroll if I really need to iron shit out.
Do something. The worst thing you can do is sit there and dwell on it.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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Some other things are contributing to it as well, my work one of them. I went for a promotion and was told (I kid you not) that I was one of the few in my department that was posting increased revenues and they couldn't afford to lose me. I was told I do my job to well by my regional manager essentially and in my place they hired someone outside the company with no experience. Out of close to 600 people in my company that do what I do I ranked in at 4th last year. My RM only promotes women though and now there is a huge union battle getting ready to take place with him over it. (others with more experience than myself also filed grievances that applied for the position) Also, the woman he hired? A 21 year old big boobed chick with no experience in our field. Who did they ask to help train her in? Me.
So dealing with that every day has been a slap in the face as well.
We're entering out busy season and wont be out of it until mid Sept. I'll be putting in 65 hour work weeks until then so other then work and family my time will be very limited. I'm trying to get out to at least walk and run but I find myself dwelling on shit when I do.
And Wrath you're right...I have no drive to game at all. Which sucks because I have a huge project in Minecraft I was working on and I was loving Skyrim before all of this too and now I can't even be bothered to turn anything on. I watched a movie last night, that helped a bit to keep my mind off things.
It's just like the perfect storm went off and I'm stuck in the middle of it at the moment. Feels bad man.
So dealing with that every day has been a slap in the face as well.
We're entering out busy season and wont be out of it until mid Sept. I'll be putting in 65 hour work weeks until then so other then work and family my time will be very limited. I'm trying to get out to at least walk and run but I find myself dwelling on shit when I do.
And Wrath you're right...I have no drive to game at all. Which sucks because I have a huge project in Minecraft I was working on and I was loving Skyrim before all of this too and now I can't even be bothered to turn anything on. I watched a movie last night, that helped a bit to keep my mind off things.
It's just like the perfect storm went off and I'm stuck in the middle of it at the moment. Feels bad man.
It sounds like you need something to take your mind off of it. I would pick up a hobby, could be anything that keeps your mind active, even video games. I would also recommend it being social as that can definitely help. I don't think I have ever been too depressed, but I have been in the past. For me, video games is a way to completely shut off my brain, when I was stressed / depressed about my job that was the only thing I could do that would prevent me from even thinking about anything else. Of course it was still there when I was done, but I was able to get a little peace.
What do you do for a living? Do you have any work from home or remote work opportunities? One of my buddies worked in downtown Minneapolis for a while and then moved to California. He stayed on at that place and just continues to work remotely.
Outside of that, while I am not sure it is a super good practice, I have developed, what I call, a pretty strong 'trained apathy'. Apathy may not be the right word, but it is basically disengaging and letting things pan out. It is largely about accepting that I do not have control over everything and not letting the little things get to me (Road rage, co workers, etc). It has taken quite a few years now, but I am much more relaxed and I am able to roll with the punches.
What do you do for a living? Do you have any work from home or remote work opportunities? One of my buddies worked in downtown Minneapolis for a while and then moved to California. He stayed on at that place and just continues to work remotely.
Outside of that, while I am not sure it is a super good practice, I have developed, what I call, a pretty strong 'trained apathy'. Apathy may not be the right word, but it is basically disengaging and letting things pan out. It is largely about accepting that I do not have control over everything and not letting the little things get to me (Road rage, co workers, etc). It has taken quite a few years now, but I am much more relaxed and I am able to roll with the punches.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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That's the thing, usually if its something I have no control over then I don't give a crap about it. The promotion is out of my hands but the situation surrounding it is beating me over the head every day I work. The stuff back home with my family I feel I do have some control over...but realistically it's not in the cards right now.
I work for Century Link, who does not have a presence in Michigan thus my issues with being unemployed and trying to find a job in a state that pays near when I make now that also has one of the nations highest unemployment rates.
In the end I know I'll have to get over it, but fuck...like I said, never felt this way before and I'll be damned if I know how to handle it all properly. I worry about my dad a lot though and really wish I could be out there to help him out.
Appreciate the responses.
I work for Century Link, who does not have a presence in Michigan thus my issues with being unemployed and trying to find a job in a state that pays near when I make now that also has one of the nations highest unemployment rates.
In the end I know I'll have to get over it, but fuck...like I said, never felt this way before and I'll be damned if I know how to handle it all properly. I worry about my dad a lot though and really wish I could be out there to help him out.
Appreciate the responses.
Sir Funk
Molten Core Raider
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I listen to a lot of audiobooks to help with depression. I listen to a lot of Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, etc etc type self development books and it has done wonders for me. It really helps to put some positive self talk in your head instead of all the negative bullshit that you (read: me) have in your head a lot of the time that ultimately is what is making you depressed.
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Exercise is the best antidepressant in the world.
Also posted by IFLS today:http://www.independent.co.uk/news/sc...n-8724471.html
Also posted by IFLS today:http://www.independent.co.uk/news/sc...n-8724471.html
arent anti depressants bad for you?
ive been prescribed that shit and never took it, because to me its only going to be 100x worse when i dont have the pill.
ive been prescribed that shit and never took it, because to me its only going to be 100x worse when i dont have the pill.
chthonic-anemos
bitchute.com/video/EvyOjOORbg5l/
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opiate82
Bronze Squire
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Well there is your problem right there! Can't tell you how many of my life problems have been solved with a couple of buddies and mass quantities of beer!
Seriously though, some good advice in this thread already. Exercise will help, however it can be hard to be motivated to start, especially when you are feeling depressed. But you will feel good when you finish and it really will help overall, just remember it isn't an instant solution, takes time and you need to stick with it. If you need some sort of program or something and don't have any equipment or access to it, the Insanity workout is all body-weight type exercises and has a ridged program for you to follow. If you aren't the gym type look into things like hikes and such.
I was taking a supplement called5-HTPwhich is suppose to help with depression. I was taking it to help with insomnia but my wife noticed a marked improvement in my mood when I was taking it. It is available over the counter, but because it is a supplement there isn't a ton of research on possible side-effects of it, so make sure you do a little homework on it first before you self-medicate.
Last thing is it never hurts to see a professional. It might feel like you are admitting a weakness or it isn't manly or whatever, but a professional really can help you develop the coping skills you need to get through this.
Jalynfane
Phank 2002
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I look at the feelings you are posting about and it is like seeing a past me from 5-10 years ago. The kid thing is hard, really hard. It looks like you are big on family, and that's great, good on you. I have come to a point in life where family is the most important thing to me, and I will not let any job get in the way of that.
Being social, exercise, and trying new things was my cure. I got back into the outdoors and backpacking, and even tried some weird stuff too. Ended up meeting my wife.
Being social, exercise, and trying new things was my cure. I got back into the outdoors and backpacking, and even tried some weird stuff too. Ended up meeting my wife.