The hell, I"ll give my story, probably gonna be semi long.
Back in 1997 (I was 17)I met a girl (she was 16) in an online chat room whom I only talked to for about 10 minutes but hit it off with instantly. Yea, yea, internet luvz whatever, it wasn"t anything serious, but as a regular in this chat room I made sure to keep an eye out for her again, sure enough a few days later I saw her and we talked and exchanged emails.
We lost and regained contact over the next year or year and a half, sometimes going three months or so without talking, but for some reason she was always on my mind. One day I get an email from her with her asking me where at in Michigan I live (I am from lower Michigan, her from Minnesota), I let her know and ask why to get a response that she is going to be about 7 hours north of me on vacation and is meeting some guy shes been talking to and was hoping I would live near there.
I was pissed for some reason and stopped talking to her all together.
Again fast forward some months and she emails me again asking where I"ve been, I respond and let her know I was sorry I broke contact with her and explain with her know what I thought of her last email. She says she was sorry and things seem ok, this time we never lose contact again and we grow closer over time. This was mid 1999 at the time and over the course of the next year we grow closer and closer to the point where we finally decide to meet. Her family is going ot be camping yet again in Michigan (in part due to her family taking one camping trip every summer outta state and by this time I"m good friends with the mother too)
We hit it off instantly, I mean I"m floored by this girl even to this day I can"t explain how I felt when I was a round her. I was never one to believe in soul mates but I honestly for the first time in my life felt like I finally had a piece of me that I didn"t know I had been missing all my life.
After her week out in Michigan is up I take the second week of my vacation time and go out to Minnesota with them...by the time that week is up I"ve made my decision...I go back to Michigan for a few days, take care of a few things and move to Minnesota.
We have some problems our first year, some big ones but what relationship doesn"t. We were still young and stupid and learned a few lessons along the way but things turn out okay. Over the next seven years we spent our lives together, we had two wonderful children together and finally in the spring of 2007 we got married.
That summer we went through a few problems, nothing to major I thought, we had a few arguments and things were said that neither one of us really got over but it didn"t seem at the time like it was anything major. Little did I know that six months after we got married she began to have an affair behind my back.
Come January after (note she waited till after Christmas) she let me know how unhappy she was and how she was thinking that a separation may be in order. I was totally blown away as I had no idea we were having this kind of issues (and I"m a pretty perceptive guy). I agree and help her find a place, pack some things and help her move into her new place.
Things seem to be going okay after that, she came over to see myself and the kids often, but I began to hear rumors about a guy staying at her place and let her know how uncomfortable I was with that. She then let me know that he wasn"t going anywhere because she put him on the lease and he was now living with her, that was the reason she wanted her own place and she wanted a divorce.
It"s been six or seven months I suppose and we"re still going through our divorce. I wont lie, I still feel like a large part of me is missing and I love her dearly, see"ing her often is hard and after years of being with her, it sucks that all the things I own are tied into memories I of being with her. But never in a million years did I think she would be capable of such betrayal.
Since it"s happened shes turned into a completely different person, Shes gotten wilder (I think because she missed those days being in a relationship and a mother at an early age shes living that out now) and she"s angry all the time....like at everyone and everything. It"s almost like the person I cared for so much isn"t even alive anymore, or that my memories of her are from a different life.
But in the end, fuck her, there"s no excuse for cheating and she cheated me out of the only family I had and cheated our kids out of a "normal" family. Never once did she try to talk about any issues she was having, she just took the easy way out.
Aych, you are correct that those you love set the bar high and I"ll be honest, I"m not sure if I"ll ever find someone that I will care about more then I did for her which is depressing to say the least.
I"m sure I"ll meet someone again sometime, but trust is going to be an big issue with me. The way I figure it is after 7 years if I didn"t know someone well enough to know they would do something like this, how will I ever know ANYONE well enough.
But life goes on, all we can do is live it a day at a time and hope for the best.
I"m sure I"ll get flamed somehow for this, but whatever. /emo off