Girls who broke your heart thread

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Stoerm_foh

shitlord
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C: Odds of the marriage are somehow increased by doing the one thing that usually causes it to fail, in the same way that drinking poison increases one"s life span, or having sex with Amy Winehouse reduces your chance of catching an STD
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Yup, it"s "C".

You see, there"s some really good tasting poison, and ol" Sharm realized it"s the swallowing of the poison that shortens your lifespan. He realized that if he just rolls it around in his mouth and spits it out, he actually becomes an expert at tasting poison and is therefore less likely to accidentally swallow any that someone puts in his food (and shit, it"s fucking good!). Thus, you see, his lifespan will actually be increased by gargling poison.

All very simple logic, really. I"m surprised none of you "get it". Just remember, tasting does not equal swallowing.
 
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Sharmai_foh

shitlord
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FulorianC said:
The problem is that you have never once defined how you think the marriage is more likely to succeed based on your infidelity. You just say
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Actually I have twice already both , , and to a lesser point

That"s at least 2 and a half times I have went into detail on this point already. I"m not typing it a third time because you and your peers refuse to read it.

I will point out a relevant point or two however..
1. Sex does not equal love. An important point when determining how to deal with the second most common cause of marriage "infidelity" since you can now separate simple sex from love making and define or base solutions on solving the two separately. An important point to remember is that while this is a major realization it does not eliminate the problem of reasons for infidelity.

See my linked posts for additional logic beyond this point.

2. Something on conventional wisdom for which a few of you are relying on to base your arguments (others not even having an argument at all)

This was in a pm to someone else...

Sharmai in a PM said:
You should clarify from what standpoint your trying to make your argument. For reference my POV is that the greater majority of marriages fail in this country and due to the large sample size it is very likely that conventional wisdom was used to either pro-long or stop the eventual divorce. However conventional wisdom only lead to our current success rate of 50% (or thereabouts but nitpicking on the exactness of such a high number is not necessary when it is very obviously to high to begin with)

So my POV is to not go by conventional wisdom since it has not proven to be successful.
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Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Man, it would be hilarious if your girl ever reads this thread.
 
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Evelys_foh

shitlord
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Sharmai said:
I will point out a relevant point or two however..
1. Sex does not equal love. An important point when determining how to deal with the second most common cause of marriage "infidelity" since you can now separate simple sex from love making and define or base solutions on solving the two separately. An important point to remember is that while this is a major realization it does not eliminate the problem of reasons for infidelity.
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Great. Then explain this to your fiancee. But you don"t...why? That"s right. You would prefer to be dishonest with her in order to increase your chances at some vaguely defined "success" at marriage.

Sharmai said:
2. Something on conventional wisdom for which a few of you are relying on to base your arguments (others not even having an argument at all).
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Apparently your fiancee is also going on the basis of this conventional wisdom, or you would be open with her about your views and your wants instead of feeling the need to hide it from her. You want a polyamorous relationship? Great! Tell your fucking fiancee, and if she"s not cool with it, she"s probably not the girl for you. But keeping it from her to cover your own ass is a sign of serious disrespect, and that"s why people are calling you a douchebag. Because anyone that would disrespect someone else like you are disrespecting your fiancee, then come here and brag about your piece on the side, then try to defend it with some fucked up logic for the sake of an argument is a douchebag in the social sense of the word. Cry argumentum ad hominem all you like, or do like you have been doing and counter with argumentum ad hominem tu quoque.

I sure as fuck hope you"re trolling, for the sake of you and the sake of your poor fiancee.
 
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psu199_foh

shitlord
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I love the whole "well if 50% of all marriages end in divorce, it isn"t betting odds for me to try to hold up my end of the bargain" logic.

By actively engaging in one of the key reasons for a divorce (infidelity), you"ve bumped your odds well above 50%. Lets say that it"s 50/50 you get caught in the next 20 years, and there"s a 50/50 chance that your wife is pissed enough to get a divorce because of it. I"d say those are pretty conservative odds, but that brings your chance of getting a divorce up to what, 62.5%?

If getting your jollies is worth a 12.5% bump in the chances you get a divorce, I suppose your logic is acceptable, if not terribly terribly misguided.
 
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Churchill_foh

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aychamo_aycono said:
Thank you for proving my point. By the way, I love this "can"t save his girlfriend" meme that"s spread by the anonymous retards here, considering she was in a different state at the time she died. Troll someone else, I won"t waste my time fighting with you
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Still gonna pretend she died, huh? Have fun with that!
 
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Churchill_foh

shitlord
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Sharmai said:
Actually I have twice already both , , and to a lesser point

That"s at least 2 and a half times I have went into detail on this point already. I"m not typing it a third time because you and your peers refuse to read it.
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As he said, you have yet to actually lay out the argument in a way that is comprehensible.

I will point out a relevant point or two however..
1. Sex does not equal love. An important point when determining how to deal with the second most common cause of marriage "infidelity" since you can now separate simple sex from love making and define or base solutions on solving the two separately. An important point to remember is that while this is a major realization it does not eliminate the problem of reasons for infidelity.

See my linked posts for additional logic beyond this point.
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Ok, so you think that sex does not equal love. Good for you. I wonder what happens if you reverse sex and love in your equation? Also, do you know what "necessary" and "sufficient" conditions are?

2. Something on conventional wisdom for which a few of you are relying on to base your arguments (others not even having an argument at all)

This was in a pm to someone else...
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Ok, so you think conventional wisdom is bad.

Now let"s recap your argument:


1) I dont think sex = love.

2) Conventional wisdom is bad.

3) ???????

4) Profit: My actions follow from 1) - 3) and apparently this also shows that I am concerned about how my girlfriend feels as a result of my actions (and therefore not a sociopath).


My, what a fantastic argument! Watch out Socrates!
 
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Sharmai_foh

shitlord
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Churchill, psu199, Evelys I have already responded to those arguments several times over. I simply and not going to keep repeating myself. If you want a response go read what I already wrote.
 
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Churchill_foh

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Sharmai said:
Churchill, psu199, Evelys I have already responded to those arguments several times over. I simply and not going to keep repeating myself. If you want a response go read what I already wrote.
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You can say you"ve made a logical argument all you want. That doesn"t make it true. I"ll give you an example: I proved you were an illogical, selfish, sociopath is three previous posts, I"m not going to repeat myself.

Somehow you"re going from a "sex =/ love" idea + "most marriages fail because of cheating" to "it"s ok if I cheat on my girlfriend behind her back and that doesn"t mean I"m being selfish or sociopathic". All we"re asking for is a simple argument breakdown or, failing that, you to stop claiming there"s some perfect logic to you cheating and lying about it.
 
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Sharmai_foh

shitlord
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Churchill said:
You can say you"ve made a logical argument all you want. That doesn"t make it true. I"ll give you an example: I proved you were an illogical, selfish, sociopath is three previous posts, I"m not going to repeat myself.

Somehow you"re going from a sex =/ love idea + most marriages fail because of cheating to "it"s ok if I cheat on my girlfriend behind her back and that doesn"t mean I"m being selfish or sociopathic". All we"re asking for is a simple argument breakdown or, failing that, you to stop claiming there"s some perfect logic to you cheating and lying about it.
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Actually I have twice already both , , and to a lesser point
 
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Churchill_foh

shitlord
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Sharmai said:
Actually I have twice already both , , and to a lesser point
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Your links don"t actually go to any posts of yours, so either repost them using the default page layout or learn how to link them properly/quote them.

Not that they"ll actually be logical, it"ll just be funny to see you pretending that they are.
 
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Churchill_foh

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Couldn"t figure out how to properly link your posts huh? Fucking hilarious.

Let me quote them for you:

Sharmai said:
I"ve thought about it and honestly I am not sure where I sit on that issue. My thinking on the subject is as such..

I know it"s selfish of me to enjoy my freedom but to deny hers (assuming she wanted to do the same) if I did deny hers that is.
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I could be ok with it and what difference does it make if she does? The question of our relationship is based on love. Something that sex does not make nor destroy (IMO). In which case I have defined love as something that exists alongside sex but not necessarily with it. of course that excludes love-making which I define as something explicit to love. I have tried explaining the difference between sex and love so for any of you who can"t understand this I am sorry. I don"t have the vocabulary to make you understand.

Now in the first case it is purely selfishness. In all honesty I imagine if i was married say 30 years then wanting to experiment and try new things is not something I would see as a bad thing. After having been together 30 years the separation between sex and love should be distinct and obvious forallinvolved. I would not leave my marriage of 30 years if she played around a few times just to try something new. Whoever that guy is, is just a brief second in the long timelime that our relationship has existed. The memories we will have formed are as mountains compared to this fling.

So with that thought it occurs to me that I ask what is the difference between 30 years and doing it and doing it today? Besides time and the strengthening of the bond and the distinction?

In simpler yet massively understated terms.. If love is not sex then why is sex outside of marriage cheating? (And yes I ignore the wedding vows. They are just words and words can be twisted and manipulated. Love is not words it is expression.)
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A pitiful diatribe about how YOU don"t think sex is equal to love. (Btw, LOL at your "well if cheating is ok 30 years into a trusting, loving relationship, it shouldn"t matter at the beginning either" argument)

Sharmai said:
Some of you are still thinking to linear.. let me try to explain why this issue is not so simple...
Conventional wisdom is those vows = trust = never lying to your fiancee about anything ever. Yet 50% of marriages fail from people who give those vows believing in them at the time.

I don"t like those odds so I decided to figure out how to improve them. The most common causes of divorce are the following...
1.) Financial
2.) Infidelity
3.) Sexual Dysfunction/Lack of Sexual Relationships-
4.) Major life changes-

I sought ways to defeat these well before I ever got married or even found anyone to commit to. I accepted that I was not a unique snowflake so simply believing i was better then everyone else and choosing to go head long into the problemwould not work.Therefore trying to understand the problem and find solutions so I could defeat it became a priority.

The first one was easy. Just work hard, graduate school, get a good job, get a savings, etc etc. I have accomplished that.

The second one is much harder. You see I can make a commitment to never cheat but that only controls myself not her. I can choose to believe that I will find that special women who doesn"t cheat ever for any reason but that 50% of marriages in this country fail. That would be me flipping a coin and believing the odds are going to land in my favor becauseI believe in it so much.

Well I was never a gambling man. So I sought to understand why people cheat and well there are a MILLION reasons. Literally everything under the sun. Never at home. Not enough fun. Just tired of the same old thing. Opportunity knocked. Was drunk. Was an old ex. blah blah blah blah. The point is with so many reasons it was pointless to attack this issue from the front. So I could either live in la la land like 50% of America and believe I would never be cheated on (like I said I don"t like those odds) or I could come to terms with the possibility of it happening and deal with it as such. I chose the latter.

That is how I came to question what cheating really means and what it really is. Simple sex just isn"t it. Simple sex will never equal spending 20 years of my life with someone and raising children together. throwing away that kind of work and effort for simple fucking sex is just.... just fucking stupid mentality.

So with that realization and the knowledge that sex is not love it should not be hard for any of you to see how I continued on to where I"m at now.
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Another terribly constructed argument about how your relationship will somehow be impervious to getting destroyed by infidelity if YOU conspire to commit continuous infidelity.

Sharmai said:
If you didn"t cherry pick and ignore most of my posts you would have seen how I got from point A -> B where causing a disservice was the opposite of what I was doing. I"m feeling generous so I"ll condense it for you.

1. Marriages fail 50% of the time
2. I don"t believe in gambling my married life"s happiness at 50% odds.
3. I found the most common reasons for divorce and went forth to find solutions so as to increase my odds of marriage success.
4. The only one in a questioned state here is the 2nd most common cause of divorce "infidelity"
5. In tackling this cause I came to the following conclusions
A. It is foolish to believe I could prevent all of the possible reasons a person might cheat. I can stop myself but not my significant other.
B. It is further foolish to believe I will find the right significant one who will never cheat. Doubtless millions had believe and done the same thing. Still 50% failure rate exists.

Therefore it follows that I must examine the nature of Infidelity itself.
In that examination I found that infidelity was either sexually cheating with someone else or falling out of love (or in love with someone else). The latter issue is easily enough dealt with I just need to give proper timer, loving care, commitment, and attention to my spouse. The former can be alleviated by the aforementioned practices but again I must refer to the 50% of marriages have failed number. Such a number is so high that I must assume that infidelity exists beyond those practices.

So again it follows that I still need to solve the problem of sexually cheating and its impact on divorce.Since I cannot guarantee or rely on luck to solve this for me I choose instead to accept it as possibility and choose instead to understand how I would deal with it should it occur.

There"s no need for detailed logic on this specific point other then I came to the conclusion that sex does not equal love.

This is a major realization because it fundamentally changes how infidelity can be handled in a marriage. Point of fact it means I have another entire line of choices from which I can decide how to handle and what to do should infidelity occur.

What followed was complex but came out to this in simpler terms.
Sex without love is not cheating.

Naturally concerns of medical nature (std"s and the like) mean different outcomes but that is a given. The logic is complicated but workable.

The final part of this was "How would I feel if she were to sleep around?" which as I already mentioned in my 30 year scenario was simply a drop of water to our ocean of memories. (in other words I don"t believe it would matter to me at that point for the bond is stronger then simple sex)
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I have a suggestion. Be succinct. It will help you get on in life. All you"re really doing is repeating your own belief that sex does not equal love and suggesting that since there"s a 50% chance you"ll get cheated on, you might as well enjoy yourself and cheat on her first.

Now let"s break down your argument again, with some minor revisions:

1) I don"t think sex equals love.

2) Most marriages fail because of infidelity. (Probably because they haven"t realized 1.)

3) By committing infidelity, my marriage won"t fail. (Because somehow my wife will start to believe 1) when I do it behind her back.)

4) My marriage will probably fail (so what happened to 3?) because of infidelity, so I"ll pre-emptively cheat on her.

5) My actions follow from 1) - 4) and I am clearly not being selfish/not being a douchebag/not a sociopath.

Tell me, is there any Vulcan blood in your veins? Because DAMN THAT"S SOME BULLETPROOF LOGIC...
 
OhSeven

OhSeven

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aychamo_aycono said:
I can"t tell if you"re for or against Sharmai. Wow. Where did you go to high school?
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Well, I was actually trying to make a play on a previous post of Sharmai"s namely this one

However, it seems no one got it.
 
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Alcestis_foh

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I"ve finally figured it ALL out. The roots, the thread, theeverything. All this at the ripe age of 27; whatever shall I do with the rest of my life?

Fuck all you ignorant cocksuckers. Now I, too, can join the enlightened ranks!

{edit}: Much love, OhSeven.
 
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Sharmai_foh

shitlord
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Churchill said:
Couldn"t figure out how to properly link your posts huh? Fucking hilarious.

Let me quote them for you:

A pitiful diatribe about how YOU don"t think sex is equal to love. (Btw, LOL at your "well if cheating is ok 30 years into a trusting, loving relationship, it shouldn"t matter at the beginning either" argument)

Another terribly constructed argument about how your relationship will somehow be impervious to getting destroyed by infidelity if YOU conspire to commit continuous infidelity.
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No. Nope. You skimmed it my posts. You didn"t debate any point of any of my arguments. You used ad hominen"s to show your right.

You don"t have to like my logic I was never asking you to. But if you want to convince me it"s wrong then YOU need to be more specific in pointing out WHERE I went wrong. YOU need to use more then emotional appeals to convince me of anything. Poorly reconstructing my argument isn"t at all necessary. It"s numbered and in steps. It"s very simple for you to say #2 is wrong because x and y. If you believe a statement I made is mistaken it"s fairly easy for you to pull it out and pick it apart without going... (OMG I can"t believe you said that your a doche)

Like I said republican brainpower is strong in this thread..

You"ve got facts? I want to hear them! You"ve got a convincing argument that maybe doesn"t have so many facts? I"ll hear that to! You have god whispering in your ear telling you how righteously right and moral you are? I don"t give a flying fuck.

And well if that"s not your point then why bother in the first place?
 
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Stoerm_foh

shitlord
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Holy shit, literal tears from laughing. Best chart ever.

Sharm, your logic isn"t logic. No one reading it can follow you from the beginning to the end. You make a very weird, illogical leap no one can follow. We"re all idiots? Ok. Shrug.

You"re now back to the "emotional appeals don"t count" angle. Logic without emotional appeals has already been stated:

"Here"s the logical argument you asked for: Getting off is getting off. There"s no reason to involve a second party. It"s called masturbation. If you risking anything, however small, in order to involve a second person in an activity you can complete yourself, it is illogical. Involving a second person, at great personal and financial risk, in an activity you can accomplish by yourself is ludicrous. You"re not doing so out of logic. You"re doing so out of greed. GREED is logical, and you should see your activities for what they are."

Your private response was that you are trying to be happy, and after a convoluted argument regarding ethical relativism, you admitted that being greedy is what makes you happy. The end. That is a huge part of what makes a douche -- placing one"s own wants and needs over everyone elses.

You via PM: When someone says "Your a douche therefore your wrong" There is no argument to be had there. What is a douche? They have defined it as me? So what? The point of calling me a douche is to invoke an emotion.. To what end I say? Again they repeat i am a douche.
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At this point it stops being funny or entertaining -- it"s just sad. You can"t figure out what the logical, absolute definition of a "douche" is. Hint: it"s the same as "crazy". You do know most crazy people don"t think they"re crazy, right? Everyone else is crazy for not knowing what they know, seeing what they see, etc?
 
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Churchill_foh

shitlord
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Sharmai said:
No. Nope. You skimmed it my posts. You didn"t debate any point of any of my arguments. You used ad hominen"s to show your right.

You don"t have to like my logic I was never asking you to. But if you want to convince me it"s wrong then YOU need to be more specific in pointing out WHERE I went wrong. YOU need to use more then emotional appeals to convince me of anything. Poorly reconstructing my argument isn"t at all necessary. It"s numbered and in steps. It"s very simple for you to say #2 is wrong because x and y. If you believe a statement I made is mistaken it"s fairly easy for you to pull it out and pick it apart without going... (OMG I can"t believe you said that your a doche)

Like I said republican brainpower is strong in this thread..

You"ve got facts? I want to hear them! You"ve got a convincing argument that maybe doesn"t have so many facts? I"ll hear that to! You have god whispering in your ear telling you how righteously right and moral you are? I don"t give a flying fuck.

And well if that"s not your point then why bother in the first place?
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I"m not actually trying to argue against the various "points" you"ve brought up (not that it takes much to destroy your "in 30 years sex isn"t enough to break apart a loving relationship (built partly on trust!) so why should it be enough at the beginning of a relationship" laughing stock of an argument, all I really have to do it quote it).

I"m asking you how you think they all fit together to create the "logical" and "not selfish/not sociopathic" conclusion you"ve decided to live by. If there"s anything wrong with the way I"ve broken down your argument, revise it (keeping it in short point form).
 
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