Girls who broke your heart thread
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Dabamf said:
I tried what Dabamf suggested before, but I think what has worked even better for me is to respond with, sincerely as possible, look straight at them and say "Yes [pause] do you have a problem with that?" Been working for me so far.
edit: and P.S. I actually met the current girl that I"m having sex with on the "who"s around" iphone, not sure if you want to consider that "internet socializing" or not, but .... "Meeting girls to have sex with? Yea, there"s an app for that"
Alright Gentleman, this may not seem like a huge problem, but it definatly is, and hopefully you guys can give me some advice haha.
Alright, let me preface by saying im 6"4, 180, I assume Attractive given prior experience, and pretty well dressed. Oh, and im a full time student, but have an alright bank account for the moment.
So, my problem is that I can"t find a single chick for anything. Seriously, the last 6 girls I"ve had sex with, were all in relationships. Im perhaps the perfect one night stand, but I hate that shit. Girls in relationships flock to me for no reason that I can discern. I guess it could be the whole "southern gentlemen" thing, where im an over confident asshole, but really sweet at the same time.
A great example is the current situation I am in. I moved in with my friend a couple months ago, because it seemed like a great fucking idea. Well, me and his girlfriend had never really gotten along before that. After I moved in though, me and her got pretty close, because she would wake me up when she woke up to help her out with their baby.
So a typical day was ..
- Go to sleep at 2:30 am
- Wake up at 7:30-8:00
- Sit around with her and the baby till like 12ish when he woke up.
- Go do whatever.
Things got really akward though after his birthday, they had a hotel room. He had just turned 21, so he was at the casino"s all night. I agreed to be his DD since I wasnt 20, and wanted my friend to enjoy his birthday. Well, while me and her are in the hotel room she kept fucking with me ( This is after I had already put her to sleep/made her nut during a back massage ). But I just figured that she was fucking with me to be a bitch, so I kinda ignored it.
About 2:30 he calls me and asks me to come pick him up, so Im getting ready to leave, and she goes "You"re a dumbass, i"ve been trying to have sex all night". I was so taken aback that I didnt leave for another 2 hours.. ( I fucked with her alot, but didnt do anything too far, just enough to get her ready, then I left to go pick him up).
Well, last week( 4 months later) she tells me she loves me, and wants to be with me, but the baby complicates the situation, plus he is a good friend to me, so we dont know how to handle it.
Thats how every single one of my relationships has ever started (Or some variation). Hell, I lost my virginity to my best friends girlfriend while he was on summer vacation in Cali.. What the fuck is it that causes me to get the ones in relationships( that nothing can happen, or lotta drama ensues), and cant get a single chick for anything?
Alright, let me preface by saying im 6"4, 180, I assume Attractive given prior experience, and pretty well dressed. Oh, and im a full time student, but have an alright bank account for the moment.
So, my problem is that I can"t find a single chick for anything. Seriously, the last 6 girls I"ve had sex with, were all in relationships. Im perhaps the perfect one night stand, but I hate that shit. Girls in relationships flock to me for no reason that I can discern. I guess it could be the whole "southern gentlemen" thing, where im an over confident asshole, but really sweet at the same time.
A great example is the current situation I am in. I moved in with my friend a couple months ago, because it seemed like a great fucking idea. Well, me and his girlfriend had never really gotten along before that. After I moved in though, me and her got pretty close, because she would wake me up when she woke up to help her out with their baby.
So a typical day was ..
- Go to sleep at 2:30 am
- Wake up at 7:30-8:00
- Sit around with her and the baby till like 12ish when he woke up.
- Go do whatever.
Things got really akward though after his birthday, they had a hotel room. He had just turned 21, so he was at the casino"s all night. I agreed to be his DD since I wasnt 20, and wanted my friend to enjoy his birthday. Well, while me and her are in the hotel room she kept fucking with me ( This is after I had already put her to sleep/made her nut during a back massage ). But I just figured that she was fucking with me to be a bitch, so I kinda ignored it.
About 2:30 he calls me and asks me to come pick him up, so Im getting ready to leave, and she goes "You"re a dumbass, i"ve been trying to have sex all night". I was so taken aback that I didnt leave for another 2 hours.. ( I fucked with her alot, but didnt do anything too far, just enough to get her ready, then I left to go pick him up).
Well, last week( 4 months later) she tells me she loves me, and wants to be with me, but the baby complicates the situation, plus he is a good friend to me, so we dont know how to handle it.
Thats how every single one of my relationships has ever started (Or some variation). Hell, I lost my virginity to my best friends girlfriend while he was on summer vacation in Cali.. What the fuck is it that causes me to get the ones in relationships( that nothing can happen, or lotta drama ensues), and cant get a single chick for anything?
I guess it depends on the extent of the health problem. I dated a chick for 8 months that had epilepsy. I can honestly say, if you handle their issues maturely, most will love you for it. Nothing like being a party with 30 of your best friends there, then having to go into a backroom, turn all the lights out, and stare into a chicks eyes while singing your abc"s to help calm her down.
If you can handle the issues that arise like a man, then it shouldnt be an issue. Like I said though, mine was pretty minor compared to some medical issues out there, but definatly played a role in our relationship
Also, because Screenshots is worthless without pics.
P.S. I"d post the chick that I lost my virginity to last month, but I don"t want you guys to have to gouge your eyes out with soap.
Also, I ignored her for about 3 1/2 hours and she apologized for giving me a hard time about playing WoW tonight (I normally respond to almost all of her texts within 15 minutes), God, thank you for making the internet so that I can learn how to deal with Women and their insecurities.
P.S. I"d post the chick that I lost my virginity to last month, but I don"t want you guys to have to gouge your eyes out with soap.
Also, I ignored her for about 3 1/2 hours and she apologized for giving me a hard time about playing WoW tonight (I normally respond to almost all of her texts within 15 minutes), God, thank you for making the internet so that I can learn how to deal with Women and their insecurities.
Ronaan is right Antarius. The girl has no job, no drive, no prospects, and fucks guys she meets on an iphone app (wtf?). Obviously that is not good relationship material.
If you don"t know when is the "right time" to enter a relationship, start with simple and obvious: when you really like someone. Just fuck around until you meet a girl you really like. It could take a while, but you"ll know 100% when it happens. But, never ever ever tell that girl she"s the first girl you"ve ever dated, and don"t mention the virgin-till-27 thing either.
Step 2: Go see a shrink for your "I only attract women that are taken" problem. That shit is too complicated to fix here.
Step 3: Profit
If you don"t know when is the "right time" to enter a relationship, start with simple and obvious: when you really like someone. Just fuck around until you meet a girl you really like. It could take a while, but you"ll know 100% when it happens. But, never ever ever tell that girl she"s the first girl you"ve ever dated, and don"t mention the virgin-till-27 thing either.
Step 1: Stop fucking your friends" girlfriends.~XtitanX~ said:
Step 2: Go see a shrink for your "I only attract women that are taken" problem. That shit is too complicated to fix here.
Step 3: Profit
Right, well, my concern was for long-term problems in the relationship coming from her possible health problems (or maybe even worse if she"s just a hypochondriac).
Long-term... I really don"t give a shit if the girl never works outside of the home, as long as shit at home would be taken care of. I make more than enough money to support a family (and then some) on my income alone.
Short-term... no fucking way would I call things off with a smoking hot girl just because she doesn"t have a good job at 20 (she was working as a nurse"s assistant until a couple months ago) and yea, other than the fact that she didn"t think playing wow was cool (go figure) we"ve been getting along great.
Anyways, in my defense, it"s amazing how much more confidence I have now that I don"t have to deal with being a virgin.
Also, I didn"t "just meet" the girl off the iphone app, it was the 4th "date" I"d had with her, and I"d probably spent about 10 hours or so with her on the previous 3, and each date previous getting more and more physical (kissing, massage - sleeping together with no sex, etc), plus texting each other for quite a few days before meeting.
For all the same reasons that you guysdidn"tbelieve me, in my last post a month ago about not being able to find someone decent to have sex with (great job, decent shape, former military, intelligent, funny, etc etc) I find it funny that it is now turned around in my face and questioned how come a girl would possibly have sex with me after wanting to meet me off a social networking app on the phone.
Long-term... I really don"t give a shit if the girl never works outside of the home, as long as shit at home would be taken care of. I make more than enough money to support a family (and then some) on my income alone.
Short-term... no fucking way would I call things off with a smoking hot girl just because she doesn"t have a good job at 20 (she was working as a nurse"s assistant until a couple months ago) and yea, other than the fact that she didn"t think playing wow was cool (go figure) we"ve been getting along great.
Anyways, in my defense, it"s amazing how much more confidence I have now that I don"t have to deal with being a virgin.
Also, I didn"t "just meet" the girl off the iphone app, it was the 4th "date" I"d had with her, and I"d probably spent about 10 hours or so with her on the previous 3, and each date previous getting more and more physical (kissing, massage - sleeping together with no sex, etc), plus texting each other for quite a few days before meeting.
For all the same reasons that you guysdidn"tbelieve me, in my last post a month ago about not being able to find someone decent to have sex with (great job, decent shape, former military, intelligent, funny, etc etc) I find it funny that it is now turned around in my face and questioned how come a girl would possibly have sex with me after wanting to meet me off a social networking app on the phone.
Here is how your relationship will go. Since she is 20 and has no direction in her life I can guarantee it.
1) You will both really be into each other for a while
2) She will become more into you than you are her
3) You will counteract that by giving her your balls on a silver platter
4) She will appreciate the gesture for a while
5) She will want a "change" in her life
6) This change will eventually become you
7) She will leave you
This will occur over about 3 months. Enjoy!
1) You will both really be into each other for a while
2) She will become more into you than you are her
3) You will counteract that by giving her your balls on a silver platter
4) She will appreciate the gesture for a while
5) She will want a "change" in her life
6) This change will eventually become you
7) She will leave you
This will occur over about 3 months. Enjoy!
Ronaan
Molten Core Raider
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Ah see, I didn"t think of this. In that case, carry on.Antarius said:
Keep in mind though that she will fuck the pool boy, gardener, milk man, her coiffeur, the masseur, and probably the masseuse, sooner or later... because she will just sit at home bored as fuck, spending your money will get boring after some time too, and she"ll be looking for something new.
So you better stick to the short term version ...
Brad2770
Avatar of War Slayer
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This man tells the truth. EXACT thing happened with me and the 19 yr old except I just stopped talking to her....Tenks said:
She wants someone to support her. She is using her looks (while she still has them) to do so. But you wont listen to anyone because You think it will be different.
See you in 3 months. (probably less)
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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K, well my options keep getting further and further opened, I have one serious option with two or three lesser minor options...(as far as women I"d actually at this point want to pursue)
until possibly today.
Enter 4th option with the potential to be a second serious option.
I mentioned the girl I took soup to the other day, I"ve known her for about a year, almost since I moved here. She"s hard as hell to read, I"ve always either been in a relationship and up until now I"ve had the outlook of I have other options, fuck spending the time trying to read her signals, there"s easier game to be had.
Thinking about it, shes cool as hell, we share almost every interest under the sun and honestly, if we hooked up, I think it might have the chance at being something pretty good.
She"s coming over tonight, her class was canceled so she sent me a text seeing what I was doing told her not much so we may get some dinner, asked me if my spare key was still in the same spot, told her yes, she said she"ll see me when I get home.
Yes we"ve slept together.
Question, do I simply go for broke with this? She"s a cool ass friend, I don"t want to put her off, but I"m done with subtle games I"m not going to feel the shit out anymore, I"ve done a lot of that the past few times we"ve hung out.
I"m seriously thinking of making a move on her, I like her more, honestly then Nodrama-ex and if I could pick anyone to hook up with right now, it would probably be this girl.
I"m 99.9% certain I"m going for it tonight as soon as an opening presents itself. Just that .1% worries there"s be a point of no return crossed should it get rejected. No guts no glory though amirite?
until possibly today.
Enter 4th option with the potential to be a second serious option.
I mentioned the girl I took soup to the other day, I"ve known her for about a year, almost since I moved here. She"s hard as hell to read, I"ve always either been in a relationship and up until now I"ve had the outlook of I have other options, fuck spending the time trying to read her signals, there"s easier game to be had.
Thinking about it, shes cool as hell, we share almost every interest under the sun and honestly, if we hooked up, I think it might have the chance at being something pretty good.
She"s coming over tonight, her class was canceled so she sent me a text seeing what I was doing told her not much so we may get some dinner, asked me if my spare key was still in the same spot, told her yes, she said she"ll see me when I get home.
Yes we"ve slept together.
Question, do I simply go for broke with this? She"s a cool ass friend, I don"t want to put her off, but I"m done with subtle games I"m not going to feel the shit out anymore, I"ve done a lot of that the past few times we"ve hung out.
I"m seriously thinking of making a move on her, I like her more, honestly then Nodrama-ex and if I could pick anyone to hook up with right now, it would probably be this girl.
I"m 99.9% certain I"m going for it tonight as soon as an opening presents itself. Just that .1% worries there"s be a point of no return crossed should it get rejected. No guts no glory though amirite?
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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^I"d offer advice, but I"m not sure anyone should take it . I"m terrible at reading girl"s intentions, but it seems to me that if you"ve already been physical and she"s making herself available and/or coming over, she"s interested. Whether she wants a relationship or action I have no idea.
One thing I"d like some opinions on is dating a young girl. I"m 28, the bar girl is 19-20ish. Do I avoid the subject altogether? Make playful jokes about it? Downplay it? Act shocked if it comes up she"s that young? Instead of just going to grab a drink and/or watch hockey, we may go check out a female roller derby that someone emailed to me. Could be fun.
One thing I"d like some opinions on is dating a young girl. I"m 28, the bar girl is 19-20ish. Do I avoid the subject altogether? Make playful jokes about it? Downplay it? Act shocked if it comes up she"s that young? Instead of just going to grab a drink and/or watch hockey, we may go check out a female roller derby that someone emailed to me. Could be fun.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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That was kind of my thought too and I"m not afraid of rejection anymore, which I"ve found is the until confidence booster...if rejection doesn"t bother you, what"s there to be scared about? I am nervous however of making things weird if she by chance isn"t interested.
As far as the younger girl, I wouldn"t go out of my way to bring it up. If she jokes about it first I might roll with it for a moment or two, but on my own I wouldn"t bring it up. Age is never an issue with me I"ve been careful to keep it that way. As long as the chick is cool and you"re on the same page why bring it up? To me the only reason you would bring it up is because somewhere deep down, you have an issue with it and you don"t want to be planting those kind of seeds.
As far as the younger girl, I wouldn"t go out of my way to bring it up. If she jokes about it first I might roll with it for a moment or two, but on my own I wouldn"t bring it up. Age is never an issue with me I"ve been careful to keep it that way. As long as the chick is cool and you"re on the same page why bring it up? To me the only reason you would bring it up is because somewhere deep down, you have an issue with it and you don"t want to be planting those kind of seeds.
^ Eomer, I don"t want to turn this thread into a Eomer-bashing thread, but I think dating this girl is a huge fucking mistake for you. But to answer your question, I wouldn"t bring up the age thing at all. However, if she"s like most 19 year olds, she is bound to have a negative reaction once she finds out your age.
Also, I would almost completely ignore her job. Just like you wouldn"t obsess over what your girl did if she taught 3rd grade, you had better not spend serious time asking how her night went if she waits. Why? Because she will pick up lightning-fast that you couldn"t give a two shits about her job but are only worried whether she had been hit on all night (which she did).
Some general rules/notes about waitresses: Someone earlier mentioned waitresses are a step above strippers. I wouldn"t go that far, but there are similarities. For one, she will be hit on constantly. It may not be at every table in a night, but if she"s attractive it will almost certainly happen at least once every night she works.
Second, be very wary of waitresses who are not seriously committed to pursuing a career outside of the restaurant business if you aren"t 100% fine with everything that comes with the business (more on that below). Just like Generic Stripper "Candy" will tell you she"s only stripping to pay her way through Harvard, most waitresses will never stop waiting. The pay can be incredibly good depending on the restaurant/bar, it is easy as fuck even if you"re carrying extra chromosomes, and it is very easy to simply get in the rut and never get out.
Third, she will be exposed to lots of sex and drugs with her fellow waitstaff/managers/etc. The restaurant business is incredibly incestuous; it is hard to find a place where most of the employees have not fucked multiple other employees. There is also almost always at least one dealer in the mix who will be only too happy to give your girl that little "boost" she needs to keep her on her feet until the wee hours of the morning.
Personally, again, I think you are inviting major disaster here, Eomer. You"ve already expressed shock over her young age, which will be all but impossible for you to ignore and not obsess over (since you over-analyze everything to the point of minutiae in the very best of fucking times, there is no way you"re not going to fixate on what would be a minor detail if it didn"t bother you right off the bat). Plus, I seriously don"t think you will be able to turn off that brain of yours while she is at work getting constantly hit on. You"ll obsess, it will lead to a fight, and then that"s that.
tldr; you"ve said many times you would like a serious relationship; this ain"t it. Hit and quit it or, better yet, decline the invitation and move on if you don"t think for a second you can handle everything that comes with dating an attractive waitress who is 8-9 years your junior.
Also, I would almost completely ignore her job. Just like you wouldn"t obsess over what your girl did if she taught 3rd grade, you had better not spend serious time asking how her night went if she waits. Why? Because she will pick up lightning-fast that you couldn"t give a two shits about her job but are only worried whether she had been hit on all night (which she did).
Some general rules/notes about waitresses: Someone earlier mentioned waitresses are a step above strippers. I wouldn"t go that far, but there are similarities. For one, she will be hit on constantly. It may not be at every table in a night, but if she"s attractive it will almost certainly happen at least once every night she works.
Second, be very wary of waitresses who are not seriously committed to pursuing a career outside of the restaurant business if you aren"t 100% fine with everything that comes with the business (more on that below). Just like Generic Stripper "Candy" will tell you she"s only stripping to pay her way through Harvard, most waitresses will never stop waiting. The pay can be incredibly good depending on the restaurant/bar, it is easy as fuck even if you"re carrying extra chromosomes, and it is very easy to simply get in the rut and never get out.
Third, she will be exposed to lots of sex and drugs with her fellow waitstaff/managers/etc. The restaurant business is incredibly incestuous; it is hard to find a place where most of the employees have not fucked multiple other employees. There is also almost always at least one dealer in the mix who will be only too happy to give your girl that little "boost" she needs to keep her on her feet until the wee hours of the morning.
Personally, again, I think you are inviting major disaster here, Eomer. You"ve already expressed shock over her young age, which will be all but impossible for you to ignore and not obsess over (since you over-analyze everything to the point of minutiae in the very best of fucking times, there is no way you"re not going to fixate on what would be a minor detail if it didn"t bother you right off the bat). Plus, I seriously don"t think you will be able to turn off that brain of yours while she is at work getting constantly hit on. You"ll obsess, it will lead to a fight, and then that"s that.
tldr; you"ve said many times you would like a serious relationship; this ain"t it. Hit and quit it or, better yet, decline the invitation and move on if you don"t think for a second you can handle everything that comes with dating an attractive waitress who is 8-9 years your junior.
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This is true, similar with my ex. She was diagnosed with depression, she had MS, and a bunch of other shit wrong with her, she used it as a pitty party, I gave her the attention, stuck through with her she said im such a good boyfriend and in the end cheated on me for a new guy. I guess I built her self esteem up so much she decided peace! In the long run if you"re really worried about health issues you should research them..Tenks said:
I know MS you may be a humpback when you get older, and you may be spending a ton for medical insurance.. I know my ex would have to go into therapy once a month just to keep her xanax, ambien, and anti depression prescriptions going. She ended up smoking weed isntead of xanax, and she smoked multiple bowls a day, ends up to a lot of money when you"re in college.. chick had mad anxiety, man.
Whats funny is I recently started hanging out with a chick that has hypothyroidism, made me wonder if you"re in tampa haha.. my mother has it so I know a lot about it. Basically most people are diagnosed with depression before the doctors finally catch it, so they"ll be on an anti depressant for awhile (obviously she"s passed that if she knws she has it) then one day they do more serious tests, and realize that she has it.. she now gets withdrawal from anti depressant, and starts her cynthroid medicine. This medicine takes a couple of years to find the right dosage which means she"ll have to keep going back to the doctor ($$) to check to see if the dosage works. If she ever misses the dosage it"s like missing your anti depressant, be prepared for super bitch or super sleepy. They get cold easy, their immune system is really weak, and over the years the dosage might change again and have to be remeasured (measuring per dosage takes a couple months I believe). Theres a ton more side effects I"m forgetting, google it.
Anyway I met up with this chick twice last weekend, friday and saturday.. she said she had a good time so I told her I"m not rushing into anything but I wouldnt want to pass up an opportunity to get to know her better.. her reply? "yeah i had fun too" It wasnt exactly a satisfactory answer but I wasnt going to push it. I assume that means yeah she agrees, so we had been texting back and forth sunday and monday, talked on the phone for maybe an hour each night (at her request) then I said goodnight monday night, havent heard from her since.
I mentioned going out with her tonight (thursday) on sunday and she said she"d have to get back to me since her parents are coming into town and she has tests everyday (which is what im blaming the silence on).. thoughts? I think I"m going to make my own plans tonight with my buds and if she happens to text me then I"ll meet up with her, I dont think its a great idea to text her, I"m trying the "dont text if she didnt reply" path. I didnt get much 1v1 time with her friday cause she was hungover and in a shitty mood, but we did go to howl o scream at busch gardens so I had plenty of contact with her in the haunted houses (love girls that get scared by everything haha)..
Saturday went a little better, I went out with my buddy and she kept texting to meet up, we all met up and hit up a few bars but we were all around friends so I didnt feel like making a move then so we danced, kept her warm (50 degrees out), and pretty much didnt leave my arm the whole night. I figure if we hang out this weekend I"m making a move whether 1v1 or not, not gonna waste my time when theres other chicks I can go onto.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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haha, it"s not deep down, it"s front and center. I just don"t see it going anywhere due to the age difference, but obviously that"s pretty premature since I don"t know a thing about her.Tarrant said:
I don"t think it"s a "mistake", in that again it"s not like this is "costing" me anything other than a bit of time and effort. We"ll see how things go, as I"ve said at this point I really don"t see it turning in to any sort of lasting relationship, but it might be a good bit of fun. While I"m 28, established, stable and successful the lifestyle I typically lead tends to skew younger, I guess you could say, so maybe we"ll have more in common than I think.Seethe said:
As far as her reaction goes, she would know how old I am since I"m sure my bud would have told her, or at the least would have mentioned we were the same age, and if anything he looks 30+. She"s briefly met me and seen me from across the bar etc, and I don"t look younger than my age and she passed her number along, so at least initially it"s not an issue for her.
She"s in nursing, and I would assume went in right out of highschool. So she"s going somewhere. I totally know what you mean about the industry though, it"s sucked the life out of several of my friends, including the bud who did the intro. He"s gotten out of the party mode for the most part and is working his way up the corporate ladder now with an eye on eventually opening his own place, so he made the switch from it being a convenient, well paying temporary job to a career, which can be lucrative and rewarding so long as you keep your nose straight.
Not worried because a) it"s probably not going to get to that point anyway, no sense getting ahead of myself and b) I"m quite honestly not the jealous type at all, even with all the over thinking. Look back at the whole Anne thing, I didn"t give a flying fuck about her occasionally seeing and/or talking/texting with her ex until it came out that she was "confused" about her feelings towards him. Same thing with Xerxes, I didn"t much care about her bouncing back and forth between me and the other dude, although in her case that was at least partially because I knew I wouldn"t be sticking with her.
I"ve said that I"d like one but that I"m no in particular rush and just living life without any particular long term plan or timeline. If this turns out to be a couple month dead end (or significantly less), so be it. As Dabamf has said, worrying about where it may head long term is putting the cart way before the horse, considering I haven"t even been on a date with her yet.
Would I have pursued this on my own? No, probably not. But it basically fell in to my lap, may as well see where it goes.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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LoL if it"s an issue then hit it/quit it and move on to something more promising. You said you want something long term, issues with a person before you are even with a person usually means it"s probably not a good idea, double so for issues that cant be changed like age.