Girls who broke your heart thread
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Tarrant
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Nope, I"ve tried...it has to take place where she and the kids live and through the court we went through for the divorce and where we did the custody hearings through. I"ve tried on every appeal to get it to go to a higher court (I this case, the district family court at the county seat) and have been denied every time.
I"ve been told I basically have to wait till my kids are 13 and they can go to the court and of a sound mind and decision make the choice themselves.
I"ve been told I basically have to wait till my kids are 13 and they can go to the court and of a sound mind and decision make the choice themselves.
That sucks... Tell me, was there a vagina in the black robes that you were talking to? That makes a huge difference. When I was requesting my divorce court date, I made sure that I had a male judge. I also did not have a lawyer, where my ex-wife did. When the judge asked me at the start where my lawyer was, I stated that I researched divorce and custody laws and I was comfortable with them. I also stated that my money would be better used on my kids education than on a lawyer that is only there because I paid him to be. I brought in proof of our incomes, proof that even if she was awarded custody and I had to pay child support that she would not be able to afford an apartment or all of the expenditures that went with it. I brought in child care schedules with relatives so that the kids wouldn"t be stuck in day care all day.Tarrant220 said:
To the bad side of it all, I also had videos and audio recordings of my ex neglecting the kids at home and yelling at them constantly. I never had to use any of it though.
In my opinion, when you do go for another appeal, request a male judge. If you have already had a male judge, request a different one. Female judges (especially ones that are mothers) are typically the ones that will not allow fathers to have custody. Also, find a lawyer that has a lot of experience with custody appeals. You are interviewing them for the job of getting your kids back. Don"t just take the first one that you call from the phone book. I also don"t know if you were budgeting for a lawyer or not, but if I was in that situation, I would take out a second mortgage on my home to pay for the best lawyer I could find and also to gather as much information to support my case as possible.
Thankfully, I am not in that situation though. Thankfully, I will never be in that situation. I also know for a fact that my situation is not the norm. Like I said, I was just trying to say that there is a glimmer of hope out there for men. Maybe I got lucky. Maybe my year of reading divorce and custody laws and meeting with pro bono lawyers to ask them questions paid off. I don"t know.
I just honestly wish that more courts would realize that there are a LOT of women out there that are not fit to breath let alone be mothers.
Tarrant
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I"ll go point by point for things you asked.
My judge was male, they would never allow a woman judge up there i"m pretty sure. The whole area is a mining area, men have their roles and women have theirs. They have two judges in that court, I"ve dealt with both.
I could afford my lawyer, that wasn"t an issue. They know how much I make, they knew I could afford both that and child expences.
My lawyer has been a family lawyer dealing with custody cases for 20 years, he was highly recommended. You"re beginning to talk to me like because I don"t have my kids, I don"t know what I"m doing. I wouldn"t go with budget layer from Lawyers R" Us. My guy wasn"t cheap at all.
I"ve been fighting for them constantly for 2 1/2 years, I"ve researched, I"ve met with laywers I"ve done it all. The area up there is just fucked....anyone who knows anything about it up there will tel you the same. (Unless they live there...then of course it"s paradise.)
I"ve been told by multiple laywers I"m better off waiting till they are 13, I"ve already thrown down over more thousands of dollars then I feel comfortable talking about here, I"ll wait out the rest of the 11 months I have while trying to figure out a new game plan before going at it a 4th time.
Not trying to come off as a dick...the whole situation just makes me feel bitter inside and i tend to get short when talking about it.
My judge was male, they would never allow a woman judge up there i"m pretty sure. The whole area is a mining area, men have their roles and women have theirs. They have two judges in that court, I"ve dealt with both.
I could afford my lawyer, that wasn"t an issue. They know how much I make, they knew I could afford both that and child expences.
My lawyer has been a family lawyer dealing with custody cases for 20 years, he was highly recommended. You"re beginning to talk to me like because I don"t have my kids, I don"t know what I"m doing. I wouldn"t go with budget layer from Lawyers R" Us. My guy wasn"t cheap at all.
I"ve been fighting for them constantly for 2 1/2 years, I"ve researched, I"ve met with laywers I"ve done it all. The area up there is just fucked....anyone who knows anything about it up there will tel you the same. (Unless they live there...then of course it"s paradise.)
I"ve been told by multiple laywers I"m better off waiting till they are 13, I"ve already thrown down over more thousands of dollars then I feel comfortable talking about here, I"ll wait out the rest of the 11 months I have while trying to figure out a new game plan before going at it a 4th time.
Not trying to come off as a dick...the whole situation just makes me feel bitter inside and i tend to get short when talking about it.
I"m not doing that at all. I"m sorry you took offense to it. It has just been my experience that most people do not know laws or what they can to to push rulings into their favor. My post was more suggestive in case there were things that you hadn"t tried yet. Bravo to you for doing all that you have done and continuing to do so.Tarrant220 said:
Is there any way that you can get a higher court to oversee the proceedings? I mean, if you are going in there with valid evidence that she is an unfit mother, there really is no reason for them to not re-award the children to you. I remember reading something about that when I was doing my research. Maybe that is just for courts in Illinois.
Tarrant
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When I file my appeal I can appeal for it to be taken to the county seat....which I do, but I"m denied every time for reasons of there is no valid reason or proof that I am getting unfair treatment to justify it.
In order to go higher with the process I have to first win the first appeal decision to even get it out of that court, which hasn"t happened. I"ve taken steps in the last few months to contact some peopel to make them aware of the situation and the ordeal I"ve been through, I"ve yet to reach a response. I"ve mailed them once a week now for the past 9 weeks, hopefully someone responds soon or is at least looking into it.
Again I wasn"t mad or offended, I just get upset when i talk about it, it"s been a constant source of frustration....pretty much the ONLY sorce of frustration in my life for the past 2 years or so.
In order to go higher with the process I have to first win the first appeal decision to even get it out of that court, which hasn"t happened. I"ve taken steps in the last few months to contact some peopel to make them aware of the situation and the ordeal I"ve been through, I"ve yet to reach a response. I"ve mailed them once a week now for the past 9 weeks, hopefully someone responds soon or is at least looking into it.
Again I wasn"t mad or offended, I just get upset when i talk about it, it"s been a constant source of frustration....pretty much the ONLY sorce of frustration in my life for the past 2 years or so.
Tarrant
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People are what makes it fucked up, not the marriage itself.
Best piece of advice I ever got after my first divorce, when you date someone, imagin what kind of ex they will be before you picture what kind of partner they will be.
I think I made a great choice this time around but as with most things, time will be the deciding factor. At any rate i"m not going to help the marriage debate start up again and have 8 pages junk posted on it again.
Best piece of advice I ever got after my first divorce, when you date someone, imagin what kind of ex they will be before you picture what kind of partner they will be.
I think I made a great choice this time around but as with most things, time will be the deciding factor. At any rate i"m not going to help the marriage debate start up again and have 8 pages junk posted on it again.
As a male rights activist I deal with this shit on a regular basis, the percentage of men awarded custody who are *more qualified* than the women is 8.7%(~ varies obviously).Petra~ said:
It has nothing to do with knowing the laws, or even having a good lawyer. The entire family court system is HIGHLY BIASED IN FAVOR OF WOMEN.
It"s a culture of corruption that no one gives a damn to fix, and men are highly discriminated against as a matter of course.
You are by far the exception, and all you did was win the custody lottery, chances are it had virtually nothing to do with you.
That attitude is why this stuff happens. It"s entirely misinformed and goes back to the stereotyping of men as good-for-nothings who "victimize" the "weaker" sex.brekk said:
Petra, don"t make the mistake of thinking your case is anything but preposterously lucky. You may have presented your case well, but with the state of divorce custody in the states, your success can only be attributed to 95% luck.
In Washington barring the mother being a verified crack head prostitute they will retain custody. And even then its 50/50. The shit that my father had to go through to attempt to gain custody of me and my sister is mind boggling.
Mind you this is with teachers and counselors weighing in with my father and condemning my mother across the board. The custody battle went on for I believe over a decade. The system is absolutely fucked.
Mind you this is with teachers and counselors weighing in with my father and condemning my mother across the board. The custody battle went on for I believe over a decade. The system is absolutely fucked.
This is why you always take note of how their previous relationships ended and how they treated/treat their ex. For one day you will be that guy.
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YouTube - manwomanmyth"s Channel
This is a good channel for any man in a serious relationship, thinking about getting married, is married, thinking about having children or has children.
This is a good channel for any man in a serious relationship, thinking about getting married, is married, thinking about having children or has children.
Not if you"re part of the good old boys club. My sister, who has a completely clean record, lost her first two kids despite their father being aConvicted Felon. All the members of Narcotics Anonymous are friends with the Judges in Cowlitz County somehow. He also had all his NA buddies write up a bunch of completely false papers about how my sister treated her kids and there was dick all my sister could do about it. The Judges here should be fucking jailed for the shit they pulled in my sister"s custody case. A convicted felon should never be allowed custody over someone with a clean record ever. The guy"s friends even had the balls to tell her to her face that they were friends with the judges and that they wrote up blatantly false shit.Gryeyes said:
Well, fortunately her ex is in really poor health and probably going to die soon (her kids were taken away like 6 years ago). The fucking day he is buried I am going to piss on his grave.Dabamf said: