Girls who broke your heart thread

Azrayne

Irenicus did nothing wrong
2,161
786
That message is borderline retarded, what were you thinking?

And if you"re moving into a brand new town (state? country?) maybe you should worry more about settling in, meeting people, making friends and getting your academic year off to a solid start than jumping at the first pink hole you can find.
 

Everlast_foh

shitlord
0
0
That line was introduced to us by Aychamo, I have used it to great success and even got some from it (as have many other posters in this thread). What would you all suggest as a better opener? You are all so quick to flame but offer no advice.

edit - I think that WAS one of Cajuns messages btw...
 

Divinefactor_foh

shitlord
0
0
I offered advice and critiqued your message...

lemme look up some stuff that has gotten good responses that ive sent hold on...

edit: all mine are VERY profile specific so not very good examples.

The married/divorce line is a routine, it can work... its just horrible as an opener

Would you walk up to someone you dont know at all and say this? Thats what you just did. If it works on someone, ANYTHING you would have said would have worked on them.

Keep it light and funny, keep it short and sweet.

What is it about this persons profile that made you message them? If it was just their looks, find ANYTHING else but that to write them about.

Does she do horse barrel races on weekends and youve always wanted to ride horses, bam, write a short funny message about how something BESIDES HER LOOKS interests you in her. You can give away the fact that you are interested in getting to know her since... you are sending her a message on a dating site... whether you just wanna be friends or something else, thats up to you, not her
 
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In my experience Everlast, when a chick responds with such negativity to the divorce line opener, just move on. That opener is quality, a chick couldn"t dream of a better opener (expecially via email) because they can take it in any direction. Chicks that don"t "get" the opener are the ones who reply that way. And if they aren"t getting it they"re prolly too dumb to carry on a conversation with either. I sometimes get pissy replies to it, but I usually just don"t reply and move on because I know they"re not worth my time.

Slight derail: Have you guys had any chicks open you? I have had a few since signing up at POF and it"s weird. They almost always say just something simple like "hi, you seem cool, what"s up?" It"s kinda bullshit if you ask me, because why the fuck do women have this seemingly double standard for us to have to come up with witty replies/comments to get them interested but they don"t put anywhere near the effort we do into openers and even the whole dating game in general... Seriously I see at least 10 new profiles a day from chicks that say "don"t just say "hey, what"s up" because I won"t reply."
 

tyen

EQ in a browser wait time: ____
<Banned>
4,638
5,164
nu_11 said:
Double standards all around. Men can be whores w/o much of a consequence.
This is why we can"t have positive internets.
 

Azrayne

Irenicus did nothing wrong
2,161
786
Slight derail: Have you guys had any chicks open you? I have had a few since signing up at POF and it"s weird. They almost always say just something simple like "hi, you seem cool, what"s up?" It"s kinda bullshit if you ask me, because why the fuck do women have this seemingly double standard for us to have to come up with witty replies/comments to get them interested but they don"t put anywhere near the effort we do into openers and even the whole dating game in general... Seriously I see at least 10 new profiles a day from chicks that say "don"t just say "hey, what"s up" because I won"t reply."
Because any halfway attractive girl wouldn"t have the time of day to reply to every guy who says "hey whats up"

Supply and demand.
 

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
6,338
7,144
Divinefactor said:
is this how you normally talk to people? if it isnt, why would you think talking like this would work?


This is absolutely creepy. I know where you got it from, but the way you are using it doesnt work. If you are actually TALKING with someone and they have showed interest in you, and you get along, you can use this line and it works if you are funny about it. In an opening message, its just ridiculously creepy.



Riding the creep train all the way to creep station with this



If the rest of the stuff you sent her wasnt creepy enough... more creepy icing on the creepy cake. Good job.

Ok sorry for being abrupt and mean, but some things to think about...

Your message wasn"t personal at all. You could have copy pasted that to 23048234 people and it would be exactly the same to anyone. Did you even read the persons profile? You said you did, yet your message doesnt give any hint you actually did. Take something from her profile and use it in your message.

Besides illustrating how creepy you can be, the message did nothing to separate you from the 100"s of other guys sending her random messages. So how can you show her in a message that she should consider you as a possible mate?


use it learn it live it do it
I completely disagree with everything you said. That married/divorce line opener is quality. You *may* be able to get decent responses if you sit there and write a detailed response to their profile, but that"s pathetic. We are badass men who are busy doing important things and we don"t have time to custom tailor a specific message to 100 different girls. I never write a detailed message to the girl unless we"ve been role-playing ex-husband/wife for a while and she seems like she may be a decent person to meet.

I guarantee you I can send the divorce line opener to 100 girls in about 10 minutes, and you can write 1 detailed message in 10 minutes. That means I"m getting laid and have already met 5 different girls via that opener while you"re still trying to convince the 1 to meet up. (and will meet many more as the week goes on without me having to do anything) The whole point of it is that you don"t have to invest much real life time, that what takes away the patheticness of dating online.

And I completely agree with igcognito, the married/divorce opener is a great screening tool. If the girl doesn"t get the joke of it, then she honestly most likely sucks anyway. For those of us who have met chicks that we opened with it, I guarantee you she"s brought it up during the 1st date or so how clever she thought the line was, and how much fun she had role-playing being your wife.

I think of it like this: if I spend 5 seconds copy/pasting a message to you, and you treat me like shit, then I have lost nothing. If I spend 10 minutes composing a legitimate message to you and you treat me like shit, then that sucks.

Everlast, sometimes you can salvage a rejection like the one you posted by jumping into role-playing, but usually it"s not worth the effort to compose something, just have something pre-written and paste if from a text file (towards the end of my using this routine on myspace I had a lot of responses pre-written and just pasted them even if they didn"t really answer what the girl asked me, it just really decreased my time commitment.)

The opener came from some people who literally sat around and tried all kinds of bullshit to figure out what works with online game (specifically myspace and facebook.) They really kind of cracked the code with it. The only problem with it is that it"s such a memorable line that once one of us sends it to every girl in the zipcode, that part of the country is kind of "finished." As long as we"re getting laid it"s worth it though! (the last line is ironic now and I"ll post why later.)
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
Good god what is wrong with you people. Divinefactor just spoon-fed you some grade-A foot-in-mouth material and no one notices. He joins a thread that he has clearly not read, that has been dedicated for over 50 pages now to success stories using a specific introduction, and lays into a guy for using that very introduction. He writes a god damn novel about how his opening line is a failure and how to properly create one, all the while citing advice from a prominent member of the pickup community,a community from which the line itself actually came. It could not have possibly been more perfect, and you idiots are defending yourselves to him.
 

Brad2770

Avatar of War Slayer
5,221
16,409
I have to leave for work in 10 minutes and their are other things I would like to see on the internet before I leave, so looking for this "Divorce" line is not what i want to do right now. Could someone quote it for me, please?
 

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
6,338
7,144
Dabamf said:
Good god what is wrong with you people. Divinefactor just spoon-fed you some grade-A foot-in-mouth material and no one notices. He joins a thread that he has clearly not read, that has been dedicated for over 50 pages now to success stories using a specific introduction, and lays into a guy for using that very introduction. He writes a god damn novel about how his opening line is a failure and how to properly create one, all the while citing advice from a prominent member of the pickup community,a community from which the line itself actually came. It could not have possibly been more perfect, and you idiots are defending yourselves to him.
It"s probably because we know how to face disagreement without just calling everyone an idiot. Please please keep the flames out of this thread

Love you man
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
606
Brad2770 said:
I have to leave for work in 10 minutes and their are other things I would like to see on the internet before I leave, so looking for this "Divorce" line is not what i want to do right now. Could someone quote it for me, please?
I sent Aychamo a PM telling him to put the line in the OP but he never responded to me. Now I know the feeling of one of his myspace girls which he doesn"t respond back to! I"M CRUSHED!!!

Back to the line. Its not a 100% success rate. Granted I feel to really pull off the line you are required to be at least above-average in the looks department and have an extremely well written profile but if you really only tried it once or twice with negative results why are you shunning it so badly? Cajun even says that his openers on POF have about an 80% success rate. I"d say thats about my average as well.

With that said I don"t use the divorce line. I find that spending 5-7 minutes writing a 4-5 sentence funny and engaging email that shows you actually read their profile raises my response rate to about 90%. Off the top of my head since I started doing that I think I"m 7/8 on getting responses from POF.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
272
Snugglebear said:
WHY AREN"T YOU RESPONDING TO MY POST EOMER, GET READY FOR A FUCKING ESSAY
lol, fuck y"all, all y"all.

Short version: we went to the hockey game last night, all went well during the game and getting back to my place, she pretty much sexually assaulted me (I was planning on taking Aychamo"s advice and not getting physical at all), but then things took a strange turn after that as she declared that maybe things weren"t going to work because she still thinks I only want her for her looks, she hates doing the Molson/Coors thing because everyone just thinks she"s eye candy and nothing more, she can"t trust anyone, she thinks I was parading her around for my friends, that I"m arrogant and overconfident, but that she thinks I"m great and awesome and she wants to take things slow, and so on and so forth. I asked her if she thought the "essay" was creepy, she said no that she appreciated it because she WAS pretty pissed off at me for not being a good listener when she opened up, but that she still doesn"t believe me that I CAN be a good listener and so on. Also her parents are asking her a ton of questions about who she is seeing and why she isn"t just giving in to their wishes to hitch up with some dude from her church that they"ve picked out etc etc.

In short, I have no fucking idea what is happening here.



Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Yesterday was interesting, to say the least. So I was playing hockey at around noon, and the plan was to meet up with her around 5pm and head to the hockey game. It being a beautiful day yesterday (funny how 7C is beautiful in January, but it was), myself and half a dozen guys from the team were tailgating it in the parking lot having a few brews, smokes and j"s. She calls me at 2:30, said she was downtown doing something else but she"d be heading over in a few minutes if that"s cool. I tell her I"m omw down but will probably be 45 minutes or so. I finish up with the boys and head downtown, meet her at the front door stinking of smokes, weed, Pilsner, and sweat (was planning on showering when I got home and not at the arena cause it"s filthy). Awesome.

So I set her up on the couch with the TV while I take a shower. As I"m doing that I get a call from some buds who are a block away grabbing a beer and burgers, a couple are also going to the game. I ask her if she"s down with that, and she says yeah. So I shower up and we head down there. All goes well, my friends are good people and know damn well my lack of dating success so they don"t pull any bullshit on me. We all part our ways and head to the hockey game. One of the guys on my team sold me a brand new, replica Hemsky jersey, so I was gonna wear that and offered her my other one. I joked that we"d look goofy with our matching jersey"s, but she tried it on, declared that it was cute and took it with her.

But when we got to the game the guy beside us also had the exact same jersey, so she decided to take it off, and all she was wearing was this tiny little Oilers t-shirt. And she is constantly brushing her hair back, sticking her chest out, and pulling the shirt down. And not just in an flirty, inconspicuous way, but in a joking, "can you resist staring at my chest" game kind of way. We were joking back and forth about it, and I mentioned that pretty much every one in the section except for me was looking at her tits and she was just laughing along with it. My self control was impressive, I maintained eye contact pretty much the entire game, she was actually getting kind of pissed.

So yeah, the game went fine, we had a good time joking around. She got fairly drunk by the end of the game, and was getting extremely flirtatious by the end. At one point, I can"t remember what exactly I said, she responded "yeah but it"ll be fine after a good sexxing." I damn near tripped and fell over, and so did an older couple beside us that overheard it.

So we get back to my place, and she goes to the bathroom. While she does that I flip on some music, and head in to my bathroom to take a leak. As I walk out the door of my bathroom she pretty much tackles me and sexually assaults me. I didn"t put up much of a fight, I freely admit, but I honestly was going to try to stay away from the physical stuff given what had transpired the last time.

So afterwards all of the sudden she says something along the lines of "this isn"t working". We spend about 30-45 minutes talking back and forth about us, her issues, her issues with me, so on and so forth. She"s still convinced that I"m only after her because of her looks, that she thinks I paraded her around to show off to my friends, she"s pissed that I mentioned to them before that she was a Molson/Coor"s girl sometimes (what the fuck did I know about her other than her name and a couple trivial facts such as what she does?) even though she repeatedly while having beers brought up stories about her experiences doing that, she"s quite pissed about me being a jackass when she opened up last time, she thinks everyone just judges her on her looks and not much else, she hates doing the Molson/Coor"s thing because of that, her parents are pressuring her to get married and crank out babies and they"ve picked some dude at her church to try to set her up with, they"re asking lots of questions about who she"s been seeing and gave her flowers, she thinks I can be overconfident and arrogant and that when she first met me she just thought I was a ski bum and that now I"m trying to show off to her with the nice place and car and hockey tickets and company and so on and so forth and that none of that shit matters to her and she"d be happy with the right person even if he lived in a shack, but that she does really like me and thinks I"m awesome and that she wants to keep seeing me but needs to take it slow and needs to build trust and so on and so forth.

She specifically said that she doesn"t want to hurt me, that she probably will run away or get scared off at some point and that she doesn"t want that to happen. I just said the she was going to have to learn to trust me, that no one and no relationship was ever going to be perfect, that I wasn"t worried about getting hurt whether things went for a month or 6 or whatever that I was more than willing to see where things went, even if they eventually didn"t work out, and that she"d be making a big mistake to just drop me without seeing if things could work, because I"m so awesome etc. She said a couple things about her being a trainwreck and that I shouldn"t bother with her because of that, and so on.

But seriously, I don"t know if last night ended on a good note or a bad note. Things had gone so well up till the end there, then things went way the fuck off the rails for awhile there, but by the time she was leaving she"d kind of gotten herself back together and was smiling and saying she"d call me later this week.

I think I"m going to go gay. It"s probably much simpler blowing dudes in truck stop bathrooms. It"s funny because when I first met her she seemed to be the low maintenance, no drama type. After last night, holy fuck was I mistaken.
 

ValkyrieIATD

Silver Knight of the Realm
461
186
Also, the Divorce line"s success rate fluctuates a massive amount based on the average age of the girls that you"re sending it to. I"ve found that younger girls (18-21) are almost always going to ignore you/call you creepy/respond with "lol wut?" -- and that"s because the majority of them are dim-witted and boring -- and also because talking about marriage with a younger girlisa little creepy. When I bumped up the age range to the 22-30 bracket, my success rate went from about 5% to 25% -- a marked increase.

With that being said, PoF in my area is a black hole of suck. I had exhausted every decent-looking girl within 50 miles of me after only about 100 Divorce messages.

Anyway I stopped using the Divorce line a while ago. Now I just put up an insanely sneaky and irresistible profile, 4 good flattering pictures, and proceed to click on every girl that looks fuckable. Some send me a message right away, and others just check out my profile in return. I know that those who send me a message have some initiative/fight and are probably good for at least a conversation/handjob. Then I send a 3 or 4 line message to the really hot ones that reciprocated on checking my profile out.

It"s not as efficient per se as the divorce line but the success rate is much higher and I don"t have to feel like dishonest copy-pasta. Been doing it for two weeks now and so far I have: 2 lookers that are madly in love with me, 4 that I"ve had great conversations with, 2 that I"ve talked on the phone with, and 1 that wants to fulfill my every sexual desire right now. I"m considering making the ride today for that last one, but only because I really want like a good 1 hour back massage -- sore as hell from snow football. If she turns out to be as good looking as her pics make her out to be, maybe I"ll ramp up the intensity.


On a side note, I find it hilarious that all these girls put that they"re looking for a "Good, honest guy" and blah blah blah. What a crock of shit. These girls are all still looking for a badass that"s going to fuck them silly, treat them like shit and rip their hearts out. They"re just trying to fool themselves into thinking otherwise. It"s mildly tragic.

P.S. Has anyone gone cougar-hunting on this thing? I"ve seen a handful of hardcore MILFs floating around on PoF, and it always seems to be girls in the 30-40 range that rate my PoF pic 8 or higher. My confidence level in going after a hot mom rises every day.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,551
9,000
Damn man, so are you gonna try to work through it or are you gonan say fuck it. Most here will tell you to leave her, lol, but what do you think?
 
Eomer said:
lol, fuck y"all, all y"all.

Short version: we went to the hockey game last night, all went well during the game and getting back to my place, she pretty much sexually assaulted me (I was planning on taking Aychamo"s advice and not getting physical at all), but then things took a strange turn after that as she declared that maybe things weren"t going to work because she still thinks I only want her for her looks, she hates doing the Molson/Coors thing because everyone just thinks she"s eye candy and nothing more, she can"t trust anyone, she thinks I was parading her around for my friends, that I"m arrogant and overconfident, but that she thinks I"m great and awesome and she wants to take things slow, and so on and so forth. I asked her if she thought the "essay" was creepy, she said no that she appreciated it because she WAS pretty pissed off at me for not being a good listener when she opened up, but that she still doesn"t believe me that I CAN be a good listener and so on. Also her parents are asking her a ton of questions about who she is seeing and why she isn"t just giving in to their wishes to hitch up with some dude from her church that they"ve picked out etc etc.

In short, I have no fucking idea what is happening here.



Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Yesterday was interesting, to say the least. So I was playing hockey at around noon, and the plan was to meet up with her around 5pm and head to the hockey game. It being a beautiful day yesterday (funny how 7C is beautiful in January, but it was), myself and half a dozen guys from the team were tailgating it in the parking lot having a few brews, smokes and j"s. She calls me at 2:30, said she was downtown doing something else but she"d be heading over in a few minutes if that"s cool. I tell her I"m omw down but will probably be 45 minutes or so. I finish up with the boys and head downtown, meet her at the front door stinking of smokes, weed, Pilsner, and sweat (was planning on showering when I got home and not at the arena cause it"s filthy). Awesome.

So I set her up on the couch with the TV while I take a shower. As I"m doing that I get a call from some buds who are a block away grabbing a beer and burgers, a couple are also going to the game. I ask her if she"s down with that, and she says yeah. So I shower up and we head down there. All goes well, my friends are good people and know damn well my lack of dating success so they don"t pull any bullshit on me. We all part our ways and head to the hockey game. One of the guys on my team sold me a brand new, replica Hemsky jersey, so I was gonna wear that and offered her my other one. I joked that we"d look goofy with our matching jersey"s, but she tried it on, declared that it was cute and took it with her.

But when we got to the game the guy beside us also had the exact same jersey, so she decided to take it off, and all she was wearing was this tiny little Oilers t-shirt. And she is constantly brushing her hair back, sticking her chest out, and pulling the shirt down. And not just in an flirty, inconspicuous way, but in a joking, "can you resist staring at my chest" game kind of way. We were joking back and forth about it, and I mentioned that pretty much every one in the section except for me was looking at her tits and she was just laughing along with it. My self control was impressive, I maintained eye contact pretty much the entire game, she was actually getting kind of pissed.

So yeah, the game went fine, we had a good time joking around. She got fairly drunk by the end of the game, and was getting extremely flirtatious by the end. At one point, I can"t remember what exactly I said, she responded "yeah but it"ll be fine after a good sexxing." I damn near tripped and fell over, and so did an older couple beside us that overheard it.

So we get back to my place, and she goes to the bathroom. While she does that I flip on some music, and head in to my bathroom to take a leak. As I walk out the door of my bathroom she pretty much tackles me and sexually assaults me. I didn"t put up much of a fight, I freely admit, but I honestly was going to try to stay away from the physical stuff given what had transpired the last time.

So afterwards all of the sudden she says something along the lines of "this isn"t working". We spend about 30-45 minutes talking back and forth about us, her issues, her issues with me, so on and so forth. She"s still convinced that I"m only after her because of her looks, that she thinks I paraded her around to show off to my friends, she"s pissed that I mentioned to them before that she was a Molson/Coor"s girl sometimes (what the fuck did I know about her other than her name and a couple trivial facts such as what she does?) even though she repeatedly while having beers brought up stories about her experiences doing that, she"s quite pissed about me being a jackass when she opened up last time, she thinks everyone just judges her on her looks and not much else, she hates doing the Molson/Coor"s thing because of that, her parents are pressuring her to get married and crank out babies and they"ve picked some dude at her church to try to set her up with, they"re asking lots of questions about who she"s been seeing and gave her flowers, she thinks I can be overconfident and arrogant and that when she first met me she just thought I was a ski bum and that now I"m trying to show off to her with the nice place and car and hockey tickets and company and so on and so forth and that none of that shit matters to her and she"d be happy with the right person even if he lived in a shack, but that she does really like me and thinks I"m awesome and that she wants to keep seeing me but needs to take it slow and needs to build trust and so on and so forth.

She specifically said that she doesn"t want to hurt me, that she probably will run away or get scared off at some point and that she doesn"t want that to happen. I just said the she was going to have to learn to trust me, that no one and no relationship was ever going to be perfect, that I wasn"t worried about getting hurt whether things went for a month or 6 or whatever that I was more than willing to see where things went, even if they eventually didn"t work out, and that she"d be making a big mistake to just drop me without seeing if things could work, because I"m so awesome etc. She said a couple things about her being a trainwreck and that I shouldn"t bother with her because of that, and so on.

But seriously, I don"t know if last night ended on a good note or a bad note. Things had gone so well up till the end there, then things went way the fuck off the rails for awhile there, but by the time she was leaving she"d kind of gotten herself back together and was smiling and saying she"d call me later this week.

I think I"m going to go gay. It"s probably much simpler blowing dudes in truck stop bathrooms. It"s funny because when I first met her she seemed to be the low maintenance, no drama type. After last night, holy fuck was I mistaken.
It"s a test. Here is your moment to pass and win her over indefinitely, or fail and start looking for another woman.

If you want her, truly want her, then you have to endure. Stow away the ego, stow away the machismo, and just enjoy it. Put your hormones on the back-burner, get a 2 month subscription to RealityKings.com and enjoy her as a person. Women are a hassle. But they"re worth it if you find the right one.

[Edit] I say go for it. If you two don"t work out, it"ll hurt, and you"ll hate yourself and maybe her, but you"ll be better for it!
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,551
9,000
GrobbeeTrull2.0 said:
It"s a test. Here is your moment to pass and win her over indefinitely, or fail and start looking for another woman.

If you want her, truly want her, then you have to endure. Stow away the ego, stow away the machismo, and just enjoy it. Put your hormones on the back-burner, get a 2 month subscription to RealityKings.com and enjoy her as a person. Women are a hassle. But they"re worth it if you find the right one.

[Edit] I say go for it. If you two don"t work out, it"ll hurt, and you"ll hate yourself and maybe her, but you"ll be better for it!
Quality post, this is the same advice I was going to give as well.
 

moontayle

Golden Squire
4,302
165
Communication is good. In fact, the first thing you should do today is let her know how much you appreciated the talk and how honest she was being with you. Good relationships are grounded in communication first and foremost (mention that if you feel it can win you points).

Now, the girl obviously has issues. Some of these she is going to have to fight herself. The church thing is probably part of what is eating at her, but that is something that has to change from within. I"m sure the parent thing isn"t helping either. From everything you"ve told us to date, self esteem issues abound. She can set them aside once in a while, but there are times when the walls come down, as you"ve seen. Be grateful that she is letting you in. She does care about you in some part because I"ve seen it the other way where the walls stay up until it"s too late and the girl has convinced herself that the relationship can"t work.

My advice on this is to make the next couple of dates be places that have as few people as possible around, even to the point of staying in and doing something special (i.e. Aych"s s"mores idea). Keep with the "no sex pressure" thing and find ways to show that being with her is enough. Don"t be afraid to admit that her looks drew you to her, but that if that"s all that there was to her, things wouldn"t have gotten to this point.

Good luck.