Girls who broke your heart thread

Heylel Teomim said:

The only caveat here is that it could be playing into her expectations. It very well may be that she really likes you, but she"s been conditioned to act this way when things start to look like they might get serious. It"s a defense mechanism. You walk away and she tells herself "see, he was just like all the others, I knew it". You stay, and it"s hell for a while, but you come out the other side knowing the level of her commitment, and having proven yours.

I"m not saying it"s worth the hassle, but some people just function this way. Especially when people have been hurt in the past, it makes trusting someone new very difficult, and the old habits are hard to break.

Worst case scenario, you"ve had a good time with her and some fond memories to look back on.

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You"re really bad at predicting worst case scenarios.

Heylel Teomim said:

The only caveat here is that it could be playing into her expectations. It very well may be that she really likes you, but she"s been conditioned to act this way when things start to look like they might get serious. It"s a defense mechanism. You walk away and she tells herself "see, he was just like all the others, I knew it". You stay, and it"s hell for a while, but you come out the other side knowing the level of her commitment, and having proven yours.

I"m not saying it"s worth the hassle, but some people just function this way. Especially when people have been hurt in the past, it makes trusting someone new very difficult, and the old habits are hard to break.

Worst case scenario, you"ve had a good time with her and some fond memories to look back on.

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She has to prove herself first. Don"t start predicting or guessing at wtf women are thinking in their heads - that"s the first step toward failure. Just be standoff-ish and let her come to you.

fuuki ttiatted hyup cichk at teh gddamn tnigt.. sould hve pad thghe godda 5 dllars. hret boken

Yeah I got to be honest with you Eomer I think it really wasyouwho fucked the relationship up so badly. You gave her your balls on a silver platter which is about the worst thing you can do. The first, and to this date only, girl I ever "loved" I pulled the same shit with similar results.

By the way never tell a girl its her turn to choose. You"re the dude, make the decisions.ALPHA BABY

Tenks said:

By the way never tell a girl its her turn to choose. You"re the dude, make the decisions.ALPHA BABY

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This. Telling her it"s her turn only works if you"re married. She probably doesn"t see you as confident enough.

It"s gonna be tough to turn that back around man...I"d forget about her, had that shit happen to me once already where you try to come in from the "i"m going to treat her different from the other assholes" angle and blows up in your face.

Also...what do you guys think about rooming with a "professional dancer"? I have an extra room in my house that isn"t occupied at the moment, trying to subsidize the mortgage a bit. I threw up an add on roommates.com for the 3 day trial, and only respose I got was from this 28 year old "dancer" who needs a place asap. First conversation we had she seemed pretty legit, then I got a call last night at 1:06am (I work at 5am ^_^) from her asking if I just called her, if I"ve ever been up to the club she works at, if I had a girlfriend, what I did for a living, and then she gets into it with another girl in the dressing room, cussing and telling her to stfu shes on the phone, and said its normal "stripper drama". I finally tell her I"m going to bed and I"ll see her Saturday when she comes and checks the place out.

From my experience I was under the impression that all strippers were batshit crazy with some heavy, heavy baggage. The extra cash would be pretty handy during these times so I"m really trying to get the room filled. I"m also afraid that this girl is nuts, has a crazy ex-boyfriend that will come kick down my door, kill my dogs, and set my new house on fire. The 23 year old in me is thinking "holy shit..stripper + stripper friends = good times, but some people advise agaisnt it.

What do you guys think...bad news bears or "stfu panzy..let her stay...show me pic"s of the tats"?

what up. my name is kristy. i am looking for a room to rent whithin a week. i live in mt.p. right now but i need to relocate soon. i am 28 yrs old. i will say i am an exotic dancer at emerald city. i sleep days and work nights. so im hardly around.i try to let people know that from the start. if ur interested plz call me at ***-***-***.thx

She sounds psycho, but I agree with keg. Do it just to say you did.

Going to echo Keg here

You could also smell her panties at night when she"s gone.

bofa said:

It"s gonna be tough to turn that back around man...I"d forget about her, had that shit happen to me once already where you try to come in from the "i"m going to treat her different from the other assholes" angle and blows up in your face.

Also...what do you guys think about rooming with a "professional dancer"? I have an extra room in my house that isn"t occupied at the moment, trying to subsidize the mortgage a bit. I threw up an add on roommates.com for the 3 day trial, and only respose I got was from this 28 year old "dancer" who needs a place asap. First conversation we had she seemed pretty legit, then I got a call last night at 1:06am (I work at 5am ^_^) from her asking if I just called her, if I"ve ever been up to the club she works at, if I had a girlfriend, what I did for a living, and then she gets into it with another girl in the dressing room, cussing and telling her to stfu shes on the phone, and said its normal "stripper drama". I finally tell her I"m going to bed and I"ll see her Saturday when she comes and checks the place out.

From my experience I was under the impression that all strippers were batshit crazy with some heavy, heavy baggage. The extra cash would be pretty handy during these times so I"m really trying to get the room filled. I"m also afraid that this girl is nuts, has a crazy ex-boyfriend that will come kick down my door, kill my dogs, and set my new house on fire. The 23 year old in me is thinking "holy shit..stripper + stripper friends = good times, but some people advise agaisnt it.

What do you guys think...bad news bears or "stfu panzy..let her stay...show me pic"s of the tats"?

what up. my name is kristy. i am looking for a room to rent whithin a week. i live in mt.p. right now but i need to relocate soon. i am 28 yrs old. i will say i am an exotic dancer at emerald city. i sleep days and work nights. so im hardly around.i try to let people know that from the start. if ur interested plz call me at ***-***-***.thx

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I wouldn"t bank on the stripper friends thing, most of them hate each other. That being said I"ve yet to meet a stable stripper. But I doubt you"d pass up the chance to live with a stripper just for the "what if" factor.

What if she"s a stripper because she"s a nympho and wants to pile any dick she can in her? What if she some how DOES have hot stripper friends that think it"s cool to wake up her roommate with a tag-team blowjob?

Then again, this isn"t a fucking porno dude. Most likely you"re going to be living with a crazy bitch who dates crazy fucking people and you"ll be stuck dealing with both. Needs a place asap? Did she get thrown out of hers?

You aren"t getting a lap dance from this chick. You"re going to live with her. You need to find out more about her then the single fact that she"s a stripper before you make this decision. This chick is most likely an annoying cunt who will bring you nothing but trouble.

/livejournal

So we exchanged a few more texts at about 5pm that afternoon, she said she wasn"t sure what she wanted to do, I threw a few ideas out, and she responded that she was gonna eat dinner with her family and call me later.

So later comes and she calls around 7pm. I had just done a J and was playing an intense game of NHL09 with a bud that came over, so I called her back a little while later.

Long story short, as it turns out, she had lost her job lsst Friday, and not mentioned it because she was upset and/or embarassed about it. Wasn"t her fault, she was a temporary replacement for someone who went on maternity leave and they came back earlier than expected, so her work gave her a month"s pay and a thank you. Not bad since she"d only been there 6 months. So that, combined with the new birth control and large amount of beer I guess somewhat explains her losing her mind on Sunday. Especially the sobbing and crying about how much of a "trainwreck" she is and how I shouldn"t want to be involved with her.

She said she"d pretty much been moping around the house for the past few days, watching TV series and sleeping and didn"t want to come out given her current state of emotion. We chatted for a little over half an hour before I remembered my buddy was sitting on my couch watching TV, and I let her go and told her to call me when she"s up for hanging out or doing something. Things seemed to be alright.

It"s funny how girl"s minds work. You"d think she"d just come forward and talk about having lost her job. Instead she gets hammered drunk, sexually aggressive, then angry, then crying, then angry again, then sobbing. Chicks

Aychamo said:

Sounds like she"s already ended things man. That sucks, back to square one!

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I was of the same opinion, until I found out the details above. Back on the fence again.

Turkish said:

Walk away, dude. Walk away now, walk away fast. Fuck the bullshit. You don"t need to wait for another chick to come along to walk away from this shit. This is a red flag.

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I dunno, I think you guys are too eager to walk/run away. It"s not like sticking around for awhile longer is preventing me from doing anything else or limiting me in any way.

Tyen said:

Sounds like she is playing 2 dudes at once.

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Nah, totally not that kind of girl. I don"t think anyway. Unless she"s blatantly lying about her family and volunteer commitments, she doesn"t have enough time to be playing 2 dudes at once. She (was) working full time, then one or two nights a week the Coors thing, then two nights a week volunteering, one night a week family dinner, and pretty much all day Sunday church/family.

Snugglebear said:

C"mon guys, she goes to church, volunteers with disabled children, has a large extended family she attends to every week, and is a full time whore or whatever you call that "party girl" job. She may just be busy and couldn"t get back to Eomer.

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The whole point of her Coors thing is that she"s supposed to make herself unattainable, it"s not like she"s giving guys lap dances or whatever. And as I laid out above, she is a pretty busy chick unless she"s lying to me about what he does. Or at least, she WAS busy.

Heylel said:

I"m not saying it"s worth the hassle, but some people just function this way. Especially when people have been hurt in the past, it makes trusting someone new very difficult, and the old habits are hard to break.

Worst case scenario, you"ve had a good time with her and some fond memories to look back on.

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That"s kind of how I"m looking at it. No harm in seeing where things go.

Azrayne said:

This. Don"t overreact and call it off, or approach her and try raise the subject. Just ignore her unless she initiates contact for a while.

She"s trying to control you and make you chase after her, don"t play into it. Remember, "she" should be glad that "you" are giving her your time of day.

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Yeah, that"s kind of how I plan on moving forward. This week, it was her who initiated first contact after the trainwreck on Sunday when she chatted me up on Facebook, and again yesterday when she joked about texting me at 3am. I made it clear last night that I was going to wait for her to get her shit sorted and call me when she felt better, and that"s what I"ll do.

bofa said:

It"s gonna be tough to turn that back around man...I"d forget about her, had that shit happen to me once already where you try to come in from the "i"m going to treat her different from the other assholes" angle and blows up in your face.

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I guess I look at it like this: I don"t want to play games, I"m fucking sick of it. If I have to play games and be someone who I"m not to stay with a particular chick, then fuck it, I"ll find a different one where I don"t. Maybe that"s some idealistic, naive bullshit that will only result in me getting dropped for the first Outlaw Biker to come along, but fuck it. I"m in no big rush.

bofa said:

What do you guys think...bad news bears or "stfu panzy..let her stay...show me pic"s of the tats"?

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Do it. Do it.

And get pictures.

Explain to me again why she"s so great Eomer. This is an honest question. I know you probably won"t vent on this thread about everything that is so awesome about her so all I know is all her bad qualities but it seems like you are two completely different people and she has no real direction in life. I will admit I"m usually quick to walk away from a relationship, often times too early, but this chick seems like more trouble than she is worth.

I"ll append this by saying I"ve been in a similar situation. I had my heart broken and shattered by a girl I thought we would spend forever together and I madeALOTof irrational decisions regarding staying with her because of this. My heart is very calloused now because of it and I"m working on that as well.

She"s probably batshit crazy, but yes, it"ll probably make for a good story or ten. Up to you if you can deal with the craziness or not.

Yea I kinda want something to tell the grandkids about, figure this would make a good conversation starter over Christmas dinner. I"ll let you guys know how the interview goes tomorrow...

First. Welcome back Turkish

Second, on hot chicks - no matter how hot they are, there is always someone tired of their shit.

Eomer said:

Do it. Do it.

And get pictures.

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This. We want pics.

Worst case scenario, you"ve had a good time with her and some fond memories to look back on.

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You"re really bad at predicting worst case scenarios.

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Agreed, we can never overlook the potential that she"s a machine using you as a starting off point for the eventual robot war.

I debated a long time about posting in here. I know there are some flame tards that go crazy with that shit, but I have seen a lot of good info in here and I am honestly surprised to see a lot of guys with similar problems like mine, so I think I will take the chance.


So, its been awhile since I have posted updates on my situation.

Back in Sept, I kind of dumped on my ex to see a 19 yr old. My ex still wanted to have a "relationship" with me. That was cool, 2 girls at once, they both knew about the other. I didnt have to lie.

After I had sex with the 19 yr old the first time, my ex got really jealous, even to the point of coming to my job, when I didnt want to talk to her about it, and yelling at me there (She left her work for a couple of hours to come do this).

After a week or so, she started dating another guy. She had her things with him, I had my things with the 19 year old and we both were still seeing each other. After about a month, my ex chose to stop having sex with me. When we would hang out, she would gripe about the small things the other man would do that pissed her off. I would gripe about the 19 year old too, mainly the little things she lied about that didnt even needed to be lied about (Like the fact she was still fucking her ex... I didnt care, but she would lie about it).

By mid November, knew I was done with the 19 yr old, but still saw her every now and then. The end of Nov, i stopped. About this time, my ex "stopped" seeing the man she was dating because he was lying also- seeing a young woman and lying to my ex about it.

For the month of Dec, me and my ex hung out. We didnt have sex, but we were on a friendly level and it was "ok". By the end of Dec, I was kind of pressing the sex issue, but she did not want to. It kind of bugged me, but wasnt a big deal. Then, she started seeing the other guy again. That really pissed me off. I had always been hoenst with my ex in everything I had done and she was "choosing" a liar over me.

Now, to go back a little- I was ok with not being with my ex when I went out with the 19 yr old. At this point, I didnt think my ex wanted me. Before I had ever even gone out with her, I asked my ex if she had feelings for me and she said just the Friends with Benefits status we had. When I went out with the 19 yr old, she asked me if I had sex with her and when i finally did, I was hoenst with my ex and thats when she got jealous and blew up on me. It was then I realized she really did have feelings and over the next couple of months, it was what made me lose interest in the 19 yr old. I did care for my ex and I wanted her.

The guy she is seeing now is very well off. He is an engineer, has a nice Condo, 2 cars and a motorcycle. he spends a lot of money on my ex. I dont have things like that. I have a decent car, my own apartment, and a some debt (car and a few credit cards). This guy makes over 6 figures and I just got a new job making about 37k year. I do not seem to have what she wants right now.

A week ago, we had a huge argument about my visitation with my son (because of job changes), about her seeing this guy and the fact that we cannot communicate. And the fact that she wont "put out"... yeah, I am an asshole. I actually brought that shit up and I know I am wrong. We werent talking much before that. Last time I saw her was almost 3 weeks ago. and last time we talked was last weekend.

I care about her. Even after all of the things we have been through the last two years, we both admitted that we can trust each other 100%. Which is strange.

I really do not know what to do at this point. The only thing I know I want is time with my son, to do well with my new job and to goto school and get my bachelors. My sister tells me I need to keep communication at least for my son, but it bugs me too much to even talk to her at all.

The kicker- I got a girl"s number the other day. But I have no desire to call her. I have the feeling that I want to hang out with a girl and do the "couple" things, but when i really think about it, it just turns me off. So yeah, I dont know what to do.

I"ve done the stripper roommate thing before. It was an intense 2-3 months of nothing but crazy... from impromptu parties to crazy sex noises emanating from the house at all hours of the night/day.

But, the sex... dirty angry sex (the best kind) was fucking incredible.