Girls who broke your heart thread

Eomer you gave too much in your responses. The divorce line itself is lengthy, so if a girl responds with only 1 sentence, I would keep my response to 1 sentence or less, but as carefully crafted and intriguing as possible. "By the way I forgot the dog died last week while I was in japan," (or something actually funny that didn"t take 2 seconds to come up with). Just something that drops a dhv and compels her to ask for more info. By saying so much after an uninterested response from her, you are dropping your value in her eyes. Also asking her out wasn"t smart because she was not at all invested in even talking to you and gave you no reason to like her personality, so asking her out puts you with her other 100+ guy friends that she shows no interest in who are dying to date her.

brekk: If you don"t wanna deal with a virgin and decide to call it quits, that"s a reasonable choice. But if you want to continue, you should still try to have sex with her as early as possible. If she"s feeling it, it will happen, and if she isn"t feeling it, she"ll stop you and you"ll still get the respect of going after what you want. Only if she asks you flat out to not try anything or gets noticeably upset should you cut it out. Treat her like a normal girl, because I"m sure any guy she"s dated in the past has treated her like a damaged freak for being a virgin just like you probably do naturally, tip-toeing around the issue of sex as you would tip-toe around the word rape with a victim of rape. Treat her like a normal girl, and with normal girls you try to sleep with them as soon as possible. Just be teasing and dominating in the bedroom and make her want it.

I dated a girl who was a virgin outside of one incident where she was raped. That was one fucked up relationship.

What the fuck?

The crazy was just too strong and deep for me with my girl. She was really a nice and sweet girl but just couldn"t allow herself to be happy. In the end it was just too much work.

I"ve never understood the point of holding a grudge against a girl just because you perceive her as "fucking you over." 99/100 it was unintentional and it is just how females operate. If you still bear this massive grudge she clearly still has control over you.

ToeMissile said:

yup, just let it go.

Click to expand...

Agreed. Focus your attention on getting with a great new girl, not wasting your time and effort to fuck over the old girl just for a 5 second "OWNED!" feeling.

IT IS AGREED THEN?!

So speaketh FOH; girls shan"t be fucked with on account of bitchy behavior in prior transgressions.

IT IS SPOKEN

Tenks said:

So speaketh FOH; girls shan"t be fucked with on account of bitchy behavior in prior transgressions.

IT IS SPOKEN

Click to expand...

"Thou shall not lay one"s dick in the crazy"
"The Package: it mustn"t be sent"
"Taketh back what once was yours, be semen or dignity"
"Racer-scene girls are whores."

What I"ve learned from FOH.

Been messaging with several girls on PoF, trying to have some fun with it but also to see what works and doesn"t work. Again, advice or commentary would be much appreciated. This convo is with a girl who has some smoking hot pics and is on 250 favorites lists. Her profile mentions she"s a grad student, amongst other things. I went with a custom message, playing off a comment in her profile that she"d love to take the Orient Express and just chill out on an island naked in Greece reading InStyle. Oh yeah, and I figured since it was probably a crap shoot that I"d include one of those stupid "be mine" roses.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Me: I"m down with the train ride, the Greek island and the nude bathing/tanning, but I"m thinking that InStyle isn"t exactly *my* style. Maybe some MacLean"s or Economist or something? I won"t need Maxim, naturally .

Her: You don"t have to read it. Maybe some Psychology Today? I"m not going to read the Economist on my vacation and I"m not quite sure how I feel about MacLeans at the moment.

Me: Hmm, Psychology Today? Not exactly my area of expertise, but I suppose I could suffer through it. Kidding! I"ve not read much about psychology other than a book by Steven Rose that I"m not even sure would count, but it"s something I"ve been meaning to read more about. I would assume then that"s your area of graduate studies?

Just what I need, a girl specifically trained to mess with my mind

Her: You shouldn"t assume anything. I"m an English student.

Me: haha, you know what they say about assuming! Ah well, I wear the ass-hat quite well.

So rather than being specifically trained to mess with my mind, you"re specifically trained to never let me win an argument. Even better!

Her: I seem to have a very negative effect on you.

It seems like with most girls I don"t get anywhere. All I get are short replies that don"t really lead anywhere, or ask me anything. The flip side with this girl in particular is that she responds to messages really fast, whether that"s an indication that she"s interested or just spends a lot of time on the site I don"t know. I sent her a message at 5:30am and she responded within 30 minutes.

She sounds like she"s on POF all the time since she"s on everyone"s favorite list and probably just gets a massive ego boost from the experience. She sounds like the girl from the article "She Not Into You -- She"s Into Everyone" type.

Eomer I"m getting the same impression on this convo as the last one: you are trying too hard to impress her. Absolutely everything you say is built off something she says. It just feels like you are taking any chance possible to be witty in an attempt to impress her. And if I feel it, she feels it.

Cut her off, ignore questions, lead the convo, and make her qualify herself. The first line is solid, you immediately qualify her ("I like the sunbathing in greece"), giving a reason why you messaged her. Then you took it back ("But I don"t like the instyle") showing that you aren"t impressed yet. Then you used a dhv: name-dropping economist and macleans, though it wasn"t a great dhv since it very closely bordered on coming off as pretentious. Try a different magazine in the same genre, entertainment, just that has more substance. Dunno what that would be though. Or hell use this as a good chance to change the subject and add a new topic. The maxim line I"m assume refers to her being attractive? Cut that out, you should never ever refer to being impressed with a girls beauty. It shows that you aren"t used to that kind of beauty and therefore aren"t good enough for it.

Her first response showed a little effort. Not much, but a good sign. I"d suggest taking 1 thing she mentioned (macleans, economist on vacation, psych today) and building an equally-short response loosely on that where you quickly change the subject to add in more dhv"s and maybe a qualifier question. If she"s on so many friends list it may be worth experimenting with negs as well: "I noticed you"re on an absurd number of friends lists, you aren"t one of those girls that just jumps on PoF to see how many guys have messaged you are you?"

Try experimenting with ignoring most of what a girl says and leading the convo with topics that draw interest but don"t satisfy curiosity. I think you are bound by the desire to cover everything and answer all possible questions (I get that impression because I naturally do the same thing), which rationally makes sense, but you want to constantly be holding up carrots for her to chase, never quite leaving her satisfied.

Side note but advice everyone should know: any joke about messing with people"s minds or "hey will you give me a discount when I go crazy?" is never funny to a psychology student. We get those jokes 30 times a day.

Thanks Dabamf, that"s the kind of analysis I"m looking for. With this online dating thing, I"m never quite sure how best to steer the conversation: talking about myself, asking about her, or just random bullshitting.