Girls who broke your heart thread

wild_whiskey_foh

shitlord
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Ancalagon said:
Not that I"d turn down a fuck, but the offer was made without any anticipation of that -- though it may not have struck her as such. So my question is, slow-play it and ask her to dinner alone in a few weeks (she"s not back in Beijing for a few weeks yet anyways), all the while keeping on the DL and acting disengaged? Or act engaged and interested, keep in semi-frequent touch via email/text w/e? My personality and instincts say the former, but wtf do I know about asian chicks.
You may not look at it that way, but she definitely will, and even if you explained it to her that you"re going purely for the fun and travel companionship aren"t looking for sex, she"d still have to explain it to her friends, and that"s therealproblem. In America, we have this fantastic ideal of a romantic weekend and it"s perfectly acceptable to go out and spend 72 hours with one person and most likely bone her dry, but in Asia it"s contemptible, not acceptable.

There are exceptions, but by and large the kind of woman willing to do this is not the kind that her countrymen are interested in. I can say from personal experience that this matters - your Chinese co-workers are going to look down upon you if you"re dating a "slut," even when you feel like things are going at a snail"s pace by Western standards.

My advice would be to take it slow if you are actually interested in her. I really wouldn"t expect anything out of it though, also keep in mind she might have a boyfriend. Asian girls tend to keep that information private, until you"ve become very direct with her about dates, sex, etc, or if you outright ask, where as an American girl would drop that knowledge at the first sign of flirting. I dated a girl for a few weeks before she told me she had a boyfriend, and only told me when she was ready to break up with him (cuing my entrance, which I of course declined).

Chinese women tend to be more open minded about dating foreigners than Korean (and likely Japanese) women, but if she"s telling her friends about it, it"s going to matter that you"re charming, polite (a trait that Americans have a reputation for lacking in Asia), and treating her with a pace on par or maybe slightly faster than a Chinese man would.

Hope this helps. Don"t get yourself into something you can"t easily get out of, as your taste in women is going to change a ton the longer you live there. You"re likely to meet 100 women like Jenkey in the next year.
 

tyen

EQ in a browser wait time: ____
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Everlast said:
steak, coke, blowjob, success.

OH! And the original girl who I wrote about breaking my heart in this thread called me tonight and asked me to come stay at her house for a week...
Big league it and tell her no and find another woman.
 

Ronaan

Molten Core Raider
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Enob said:
I"ve heard before and it usually seems to be true for close friends or overly nice guys. Those aren"t the type that girls want to date but they"re the type they want to marry. Seems like that"s the same case for him. After girls are ready to settle down many may want to be with their best friend.
Ha.
Fuck that.

In other news, nothing new. I seem to fit right in with a few others here... work, sports, eat, sleep.

Nail studio girl seems to have very little time (might be testing my patience or something... or she"s just not that into me).
 

lost

<Bronze Donator>
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Vim said:
The whole gym, drinking, working and school routine sounds like me too.
Gym is doing wonders for me while I "wait" for this girl I like.

Plus I"m getting pretty ripped.

I don"t think I could go back to WoW though. Even though I met this other girl that plays WoW and is pretty cute. Too bad I don"t see her as a serious type of girl, plus she smokes a lot of pot. I"m not against pot, I just don"t smoke it... Anymore...

That UOWoW is pretty tempting though.
hell yeah, been doing lot more cardio i wanan get some rippage ;p, i love muscle memory, had a trainer for a year so all that i had came back to me in no time! im avoiding girls that smoke a ton of pot, last x gf did that and was for anxiety, no thanks
 

Ancallagon

Silver Knight of the Realm
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wild_whiskey said:
You may not look at it that way, but she definitely will, and even if you explained it to her that you"re going purely for the fun and travel companionship aren"t looking for sex, she"d still have to explain it to her friends, and that"s therealproblem. In America, we have this fantastic ideal of a romantic weekend and it"s perfectly acceptable to go out and spend 72 hours with one person and most likely bone her dry, but in Asia it"s contemptible, not acceptable.

There are exceptions, but by and large the kind of woman willing to do this is not the kind that her countrymen are interested in. I can say from personal experience that this matters - your Chinese co-workers are going to look down upon you if you"re dating a "slut," even when you feel like things are going at a snail"s pace by Western standards.

My advice would be to take it slow if you are actually interested in her. I really wouldn"t expect anything out of it though, also keep in mind she might have a boyfriend. Asian girls tend to keep that information private, until you"ve become very direct with her about dates, sex, etc, or if you outright ask, where as an American girl would drop that knowledge at the first sign of flirting. I dated a girl for a few weeks before she told me she had a boyfriend, and only told me when she was ready to break up with him (cuing my entrance, which I of course declined).

Chinese women tend to be more open minded about dating foreigners than Korean (and likely Japanese) women, but if she"s telling her friends about it, it"s going to matter that you"re charming, polite (a trait that Americans have a reputation for lacking in Asia), and treating her with a pace on par or maybe slightly faster than a Chinese man would.

Hope this helps. Don"t get yourself into something you can"t easily get out of, as your taste in women is going to change a ton the longer you live there. You"re likely to meet 100 women like Jenkey in the next year.
Excellent advice I think, and almost certainly what I needed to hear. +1.
 
Run fast and run far if she even slightly begins to show classic "Dragon Lady" qualities. I"m not kidding. If she asks about your future plans in a too-soon-but-permanent fashion, your accounting habits (even if they are impeccable) or whatever... just go.

TRUST ME. Just go.
 

Wurstsalat_foh

shitlord
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0
Enob said:
After girls are ready to settle down many may want to be with their best friend.
Now that would be new to me.

In my experience the best friend thing between man and woman only works if there are no feelings at all.
 
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Wurstsalat said:
In my experience the best friend thing between man and woman only works if there are no feelings at all.
Disagreed. I think the only way a marriage (or any relationship at all really) can truly last is if you"re best friends with your significant other.

I just recently started dating this girl that I"ve been good friends with for a long time now and everything is really great so far. No drama, no weird/wild expectations, no anything... We"re just having a great time and getting even more into each other.
 

ToeMissile

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Incognitogamer said:
Disagreed. I think the only way a marriage (or any relationship at all really) can truly last is if you"re best friends with your significant other.
I subscribe to this line of thinking as well.
 

wild_whiskey_foh

shitlord
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0
Incognitogamer said:
Disagreed. I think the only way a marriage (or any relationship at all really) can truly last is if you"re best friends with your significant other.

I just recently started dating this girl that I"ve been good friends with for a long time now and everything is really great so far. No drama, no weird/wild expectations, no anything... We"re just having a great time and getting even more into each other.
The best friend phenomenon is well-documented. It"s called storgic love.

Social psychologists study the different types of love, and there a six types, agape, storge, eros, pragma, ludus, mania.

Agapic - Forgiving, I"ll take anything you throw at me, it"s all about you. These relationships may last a long while, but can involve emotional or even physical abuse. Agapic lovers are the kind of girls who go from one abusive asshole to another. It"s not always that bad, just trying to paint a picture.

Storgic - Friendly lover, where the number one priority is equality in the relationships. Often the least passionate in terms of sex, but as many people have learned through experience, it"s important that once constant sex becomes unreasonable you still want to be around each other. Storgic relationships are the longest lasting, bar none.

Manic - Comes from "mania," which as you can imagine is the obsessive-jealous type of lover. No idea about the long term strength of these ones.

Erotic - Extremely passionate lover, but also the quickest to burn out. The type that get married after two weeks of wild sex and divorce a year or two later.

Ludic - Roughly means "game" lover. Ludic lovers believe love and relationship are basically games to be played, and they want to be players. People who are pathological cheaters would most likely fall into this catigory. Obviously the strength of the relationship is going to be determined by how well he/she hides his/her behavior.

Pragmatic - You could say it"s almost like love is seen as a sort of business relationship. These lovers are the type who are only interested in people they can see fitting into their family. Will they provide for me, will they provide good genetics for my children, will I get along with their parents, will they allow me to live and work where I want to, etc. are paramount.

There are some pretty fun tests to see what your preferred love is. I had a really long one from a psych professor but I lost it awhile ago. I remember I ended up having a 95% response in storge, and the closest second place was eros, at around 55% or so.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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Vim said:
I really hate the whole friend zone topic, but it is my understanding that, even though unlikely, it is possible to get out of the friend zone.

So don"t get completely discouraged. Hell, with some girls and I do mean some (as in very few) to get with them, you have to get in their "friend zone". But those are rare.
Well first of all, it"s important to define what the "friend zone" is. Girls don"t have two magical categories of "I want to fuck him" and "I want to friend him." You might be in neither category with a girl you"re friends with. Nothing"s gone on romantically before and there"s not really any indication it will. But neither has she decided that you"re not fuckable. You"re just kind of in limbo. It isn"t until you make a move that you get filed in one or the other.

So yeah, just cause you"re friends with a girl and not fucking her and/or she hasn"t thrown herself at you, I don"t think that necessarily means you"ve been friended.
 

Zarniwoop_foh

shitlord
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0
Ancalagon said:
About five hours into the ride, and still about seven hours away from Shanghai, Dan woke up from a nap, yawned, and his jawbone dislodged leaving his mouth in a permanentOposition.
You guys are really impressing me. I can"t make it past this point in the story without bursting out laughing. A++, would read again.
 

Brad2770

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Went to one of my Chamber of Commerce: After Hours meetings. The clique that I am in up there are 45+ Rich folks. They love me. Invite me to their cabins and house boats, etc.. Well, tonight, I really liked our waitress and she was always going out of her way for me, so I asked her out. She gave me her number. We will see.

I am busy until next Weds, so that is good for me. I guess I will let you know next week sometime.

Her name is the same as my ex-wife"s. heh.


I have been drinking, so I know it kind of goes against what I had said a few days ago, but when I drink, I kind of get into a "Hunt for women" mode. Doesnt help when my Buddies wife (from the meetings0 is saying I should ask her out to the house boat.
 

niteflyx_foh

shitlord
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0
Brad2770 said:
Her name is the same as my ex-wife"s. heh.

Doesnt help when my Buddies wife (from the meetings0 is saying I should ask her out to the house boat.
Brad, your posts always leave me looking forward to your next epic story.

I"m with the Grobster: what could go wrong?
 

Brad2770

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niteflyx said:
Brad, your posts always leave me looking forward to your next epic story.

I"m with the Grobster: what could go wrong?
i detect sarcasm. but I am in a good mood, so I am gunna +1 you anyways.

GrobbeeTrull2.0 said:
Go for it. What could go wrong?
i could blow a load into her snatch, suck it out and follow it with a sloppy kiss. The beer fucks with me, that sounds fun.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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She probably thinks you"re equally rich as all the monopoly men you were hanging out with