Girls who broke your heart thread

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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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I look forward to the day Ronaan discovers she"s a post-op tranny or something equally weird as fuck to warrant 10 years without ever dating.

Does she have a giant goiter on her neck?
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E

etoille

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Dabamf said:
I"ve always wondered if in-your-face attacks like Etoille is dropping ever inspire any change. At first they always create defensiveness and make the listener close off completely, but after a time and some distance I wonder if they inspire any change. Tactful approach is pretty much always more effective, but obviously that didn"t work in this case so the only option is directness (but damn Etoille take it easy!), but I"m uncertain if that"s possible. Every time I"ve been direct with someone they just get defensive and burrow into a hole.
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100% agree with everything you just said.

Only reason I"m heavy handed is that theres solid proof that coddling him has gone nowhere. There"s a child involved and it doesn"t sound like either one of his parents know what it means to put that child first. I"m a random chick on the internet but if thats the only advocate the kids got well *shrug* its better than nothing.
 
Heylel

Heylel

Trakanon Raider
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The in-your-face approach certainly doesn"t work with my family. I used to be able to make a well reasoned, honest argument and my dad would eventually come around. Now he just thinks I"m after his money.
 
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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
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Haka Shakamalakabalsaka said:
Fuck I hate writing online dating profiles, is there any way to write these things without coming off as a) a conceited jerk b) a sappy romantic The Notebook loving emotional trainwreck c) a huge nerd with terrible jokes

I"ve written mine over 3 times and I have no idea if I"m even close yet. I keep adding to it and it gets longer and the I realize I"ve written a book, and have to delete it all and try again.

I need a magic formula / copy Eomer"s online profile plz plz. All I need to to do is change Edmonton Oilers to Vancouver Canucks and successful entrepreneur to broke student and I think everything else is the same, or close enough.
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Keep it short. Add only qualifiers, no disqualifiers (for both yourself and matches.) Put things in list form.Funnyand enjoyable. Keep all arrogance and smugness out of the profile. Do not tell them things instead show them (ie: Don"t say "I"m funny" but have a bland and dry profile.)

I also would keep it relatively honest. But if you"re spending too much time on the profile you"re probably laying it on a bit too thick. Mine took me like 15 minutes to write up (granted I modified a version that I had previously) and the #1 thing girls message me about was how my profile made them smile. Humor and self confidence are the two things that are better to show rather than tell. Others you need to tell rather than show (ie: career, family, interests).
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,325
43,163
Ronaan said:
She hasn"t had a relationship in over 10 years. Not even one of those "I tried for a few weeks and found out it wasn"t going to work" things. Nothing.
Does that sound better?
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No that sounds worse.

Not having a serious relationship in 10 years, but dating regularly, can be pretty normal. Not having any type of relationship in over 10 years could very well be an issue.
 
Eomer

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
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Tenks said:
Keep it short. Add only qualifiers, no disqualifiers (for both yourself and matches.) Put things in list form.Funnyand enjoyable. Keep all arrogance and smugness out of the profile. Do not tell them things instead show them (ie: Don"t say "I"m funny" but have a bland and dry profile.)

I also would keep it relatively honest. But if you"re spending too much time on the profile you"re probably laying it on a bit too thick. Mine took me like 15 minutes to write up (granted I modified a version that I had previously) and the #1 thing girls message me about was how my profile made them smile. Humor and self confidence are the two things that are better to show rather than tell. Others you need to tell rather than show (ie: career, family, interests).
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While we"re on the subject, any advice to offer on my profile? I"ve posted it in the past, and made some changes based upon what people had to say:

See the interests above for further info, no sense repeating myself right? The list isn"t exhaustive, but it covers what I got up to yesterday . Ripping around on my crotch rocket is pretty fun as well, although it"s always an adventure seeing which soccer mom in a SUV will try to run me off the road. Traveling is definitely something I"d like to do more of, mostly a time issue. I check out concerts as much as I can, big fan of live music.

Oh and since I"m sure you"re concerned about my "goals" or not being a "loser", you can rest assured that I have a cousin in Nigeria who has access to an inactive bank account with $45 million that simply requires a blank signed personal check from you to gain access to the funds... of course I"m kidding! I own and operate a mechanical contracting company when I"m not enjoying myself outside of work. Family business kind of thing. Don"t worry, I haven"t touched a pipe wrench in years, these hands are soft!

Tooling around here to see if it"s any better than the usual avenues of meeting someone. Between work, fun, and travels I don"t have much of a chance to meet new people, so this seemed like it might bear fruit.

I"m looking for someone who also likes to be active and does some of the same things I do, but at the same time will also show me a new thing or two. If you like concerts, camping, sports, traveling and that kind of thing then we"ll probably get along just fine. I can handle a fair amount of maintenance, but you best have a fairly well developed sarcasm detector. Otherwise I may warp your fragile little mind.
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The interests section has about 15-20 things listed (camping, skiing, that kind of thing). Reading through it again, I wonder if perhaps the last couple sentences should be removed or changed.

And seriously, I feel sorry for the people who live in areas where PoF doesn"t have much selection. There must be hundreds of decent or better looking girls in their 20"s on it in my area. And Calgary is double or triple that, there"s a fucking TON of hot chicks on it from there. Too bad most look to be super high maintenance, pretentious, snooty, gold digging bitches. Aaaah Calgary.
 
Louis

Louis

Trakanon Raider
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I just said fuck it and went look at pof....my area is absolutely turrible. Turrible I tell ya.
 
L

Lefazz_foh

shitlord
0
0
Shutup said:
I just said fuck it and went look at pof....my area is absolutely turrible. Turrible I tell ya.
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I"m a short guy -- 5"6". I can understand a woman wanting a man taller than her. But what pisses me off is seeing 95% of their profiles listing height requirements of >=6" for even women shorter than me!
 
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Campari_foh

shitlord
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I looked at the PoF site once and wanted to gouge my eyes out. I understand it"s a simple dating site and not the pinnacle of web design, but seriously it looks and functions like a low-rent porn website made in the mid-90s. Do that many people really use it?
 
Eomer

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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Campari said:
I looked at the PoF site once and wanted to gouge my eyes out. I understand it"s a simple dating site and not the pinnacle of web design, but seriously it looks and functions like a low-rent porn website made in the mid-90s. Do that many people really use it?
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Again, it"s really regional. It was started by a dude from Vancouver, so it seems like it"s very popular throughout Canada, but less so in a lot of parts of the US. I agree the design isn"t mind blowing, but at the time same it"s a pretty functional site. I found Match.com to be confusing as all fuck by comparison.

Lefazz said:
I"m a short guy -- 5"6". I can understand a woman wanting a man taller than her. But what pisses me off is seeing 95% of their profiles listing height requirements of >=6" for even women shorter than me!
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Yeah, I agree, but then again I"m sure you"re also disqualifying any woman who doesn"t meet some specific requirement you have, whether it"s tit size or whatever else.
 
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Haka Shakamalakabalsaka_foh

shitlord
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Yeah PoF is certainly shitty looking, but Van has a pretty sizable number of good looking girls on here and I"m getting bored with all my buddy"s gf"s friends, I think I"ve burned about every bridge I can so far so I need a new avenue to meet people.

Fuck it, I feel like I"m handing in a term paper that I worked on all night without editing and it"s going to come back covered in red ink.

I"m a pretty laid back guy who, like most guys in their mid 20"s think that they"re completely hilarious. I"ll let you be the judge of that I suppose.

I"m commonly described by the dreaded "Nice Guy" moniker. Yet, I"m the kind of guy that won"t be scared to make fun of you if you deserve it, and sometimes when you don"t. I can take a joke, and dish one out too. I"m someone who loves a good conversation - I like to talk and listen.

I"m pretty sporty, I play soccer/tennis/squash 3-4 times a week at least, and I"m a diehard Canucks fan. I"m not sure if it would be possible for me to care for a Flames or Leafs fan, but at least our arguments and debates would be passionate.

I"m pretty well traveled, mostly through Asia and Europe. I have a fascination for history and other cultures, although I"m terrible at languages. If only the entire French language was a collection of numbers, colors, weather, and the animals cat and dog, then I"d be fluent.

I"m no musician per say, but I"ve played some kind of instrument most of my life. I"m mostly into blues these days, but I can appreciate most kinds of music in some way. If we were to start our own musical duo, I"d like to think our band name would be "The Whiskey Bottles," (unless you could think of a better one?) and we"d tour small pubs and bars through Europe while stopping in tiny, quaint, romantic villages to take some time to ourselves and have picnics with plaid picnic blankets and wicker baskets filled with fruit, wine and cheese. After a while you"d break away and do a solo record and become insanely successful and rich, but it"s ok because I"d win a large chunk of the royalties in our divorce.

I finished my undergrad a few years ago, and after traveling for a while I"m starting to think I"d like to go to law school. I don"t know what kind of law yet though, but environmental intrigues me.

I"m looking for someone who already has an amazing and happy life and wants to share it with me. Hopefully you have some sort of aspirations, plan, or at least a plan for a plan! Hopefully you don"t carry yourself like a princess, but hopefully you"ll let me treat you as one, at least sometimes. Hopefully you"re someone that laughs a lot.
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I guess the biggest thing I notice first off is that I start every paragraph with "I"m" I haven"t posted any pictures yet as I want to wait until I"m at least somewhat happy with this part. Also, locating pictures of me without ex"s in them are proving exceedingly difficult.
 
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Haka Shakamalakabalsaka_foh

shitlord
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0
Eomer seems to be doing pretty well with his profiles so I"m hesitant to give advice especially just after I complained that I"m somewhat clueless about this whole thing. But my instincts were telling me to make a profile that, were someone to read it, would inspire them to picture us doing activities together, or at least put the image of us together in their mind. That"s why I put that wierd stuff about starting the band etc.

I guess if I were you, I"d change it so you"d make them picture them with you on your motorcycle, flipping off soccer moms etc., instead of just you doing those things.

Anyways, that"s just what I thought would be a good idea, the experts may disagree!
 
C

Campari_foh

shitlord
0
0
I don"t claim to know very much about what makes a good online dating profile, so I won"t really comment on that aspect. The one thing about your profile that did catch my eye however, is that every single section/paragraph starts with "I"m", except for one that starts with "I". I"m probably just being over-analytical from writing a lot of papers, and I doubt it matters much, but maybe try to switch it up a bit to make the profile/description flow a little better?

Again, it"s really regional. It was started by a dude from Vancouver, so it seems like it"s very popular throughout Canada, but less so in a lot of parts of the US. I agree the design isn"t mind blowing, but at the time same it"s a pretty functional site. I found Match.com to be confusing as all fuck by comparison.
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Makes sense, I"m sure there"s probably a fairly large population of people using it here in NYC but I just couldn"t get past the layout. Made a profile on OKC instead last week and have a few dates planned already so we"ll see how that pans out.
 
A

Alcestis_foh

shitlord
0
0
Eomer said:
Reading through it again, I wonder if perhaps the last couple sentences should be removed or changed.
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You"d be right. You"ve already shown in your profile that you"re sarcastic, no sense in reiterating it again. Besides (and I realize it"s a figure of speech), nothing good can come of insinuating your target"s minds are "little".



Haka: Other than all the "I"s, a giant thumbs-up! Quite a well-written, intriguing profile. You covered all you had to cover, and you"re spot-on about the aim of attempting to engage the reader"s imagination. I thought the band paragraph was great. But hopefully you"ll do something about your last paragraph. Hopefully, because tripping over all those "hopefully"s might make someone not want to message you despite the rest being excellent.

Hopefully.
 
J

Jayblah_sl

shitlord
14
0
My initial criticism on both Eomer and Haka"s profiles are that they are extremely wordy. Nonethless, Eomer seems to be having success so I guess my criticism doesn"t mean all that much in his case.

Anyway, here"s mine once again, after implementing some changes that Dabamf and Alcestic had suggested.

The nitty:

* I"m a firm believer in living life to the fullest and will try just about anything once.

* I"m an unabashed nerd. Not the kind that wears a pocket-protector (though I can fix your computer) but the kind that has a passion for experiences, culture, and the arts. I love acquiring even the most mundane morsels of information, and will read pretty much anything I can get my hands on. Yes, I"ve even read Twilight (I lost a bet, and I"ll never recover).

* I"m huge into discovering new music. If you can introduce me to a musician I"ve overlooked and end up enjoying, I"m your new best friend.

* I"m more interested in personality than whether or not your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. You don"t have to be a model for me to respond, but if you happen to be a model, please prove to me that you aren"t all completely insane.

* Totally random tidbit: No one has ever guessed my age correctly based on physical appearance alone. It"s too bad you get to see my age, but I"m certain you don"t believe it either.

The gritty:

I"ve lived in NJ most of my life. Despite that, I don"t sag my pants, flex in front of every mirror I pass, and pose no risk of putting an eye out with my hairstyle.

I"m beginning to dislike the club/bar scene, so this is my attempt at taking the easy-going, non-serious online approach. I have no interest in playing mind-games. I"m looking for a confident, like-minded woman. Princesses and emotional wrecks would be wise to stay far, far away. That said, don"t let anything I"ve said intimidate you into not messaging me; I am really down to earth and easy to get along with, honest!
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My biggest fear is that my final paragraphs makes me sound like a pretentious douchebag and that it might put-off / intimidate some females. Etoille/Alcestic and others, do you agree or disagree?

All advice welcome, as always.
 
brekk

brekk

Dancing Dino Superstar
<Bronze Donator>
2,191
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That said, don"t let anything I"ve said intimidate you into not messaging me; I am really down to earth and easy to get along with, honest!
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Change that. It"s basically saying "I just wrote all this crap, but it doesn"t matter your opinion message me no matter what." Its desperate.
 
lost

lost

<Bronze Donator>
3,223
3,493
I like the "princesses and emotioanl wrecks to stay away" lol that is awesome but crystal clear
 
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