Girls who broke your heart thread

Haka I really like most of it. I don"t like "well traveled" (pretentious imo), the nice guy references, letting me treat you like a princess, the excessive "hopefully"s, and "per say" (plus I"m pretty sure you spelled it wrong...per se, right?). Other than those I absolutely love the profile.

Up long enough...

Just moved, my roommate is a tool, and I"m bored out of my fucking mind. The ex and I aren"t on speaking terms (4 years for nothing), and I"m thinking about joining plentyoffish. I saw it referred to earlier in the thread, but I thought I"d check back to see if anyone"s used it / had any success with it. I feel like a loser browsing through it, but I"m tired of trying to hang out with the whack-jobs in my grad program. Should I bite the bullet or man up and call a hooker?

fwiw here is my profile and it seems to work decent

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Hi there! I"m 24 years old and moved here about a year and a half ago. I moved here to peruse a job opportunity with a great company. I love my job and enjoy going to work everyday. I work as a computer programmer which means I get to be very active in an outdoorsy environment doing manly things like chopping wood and crushing beer cans on my head.

What you should know:
*Smart. I don"t eat yellow snow and I can solve complex problems involving two single digit numbers being added together quickly.

*Athletic. I love going to the gym. It helps me focus and relax. I do, however, eat anything like a trash compactor.

*Honest. Ok that was a lie. See how honest I am?

*Fun. I get along with mostly anyone. I can also hold long conversations about nothing. I can also tell rambling stories involving fictional characters and often times have to be told to shut up because it can go on for quite a while.

*Well insured. I can do all sorts of crazy stuff.

*Music lover. I have my niche genres I know but know very well. I, however, do not know popular/radio music at all. I can probably introduce you to some cool new bands! I also play Rock Band like a fiend and can do EVERYTHING on expert guitar. If that doesn"t impress you then maybe you"re too hard to impress...

*Animal lover. I want so many pets I"ll need to get realistic about it soon. Not to mention I hear duck billed platypus" make horrible companions. I want to own a Fennec Fox (it"s legal, I checked!) and a penguin (it"s illegal, I checked!) because they are my favorites. However my roommate has a calico cat and whenever I get a real house I want to get a Corgi.

*Adventurous. My motto is if I"ve never done it how do I know I don"t like it?

*Family Centric. They all live down in Cincinnati and only some extended family lives up here. I make the trip down to see my parents and brother at least every 6 weeks, generally once a month.

Overall I"m a very easy going guy and it takes a lot to stress me out. I wanted to get on here and see if there are any like minded people out there.

Jayblah: Last paragraphs do indeed run that risk of alienating girls (aka tripping at the finish line), but I personally believe yours does not. I don"t think that last sentence sounds desperate, especially considering you just laid out what you wanted rather forcefully in the previous three sentences. But some may disagree. =)

Convo: That first paragraph... super, super, thuper gay. It"s like accidentally coughing so hard that you vomit a little - the taste stays in your mouth forages. It turned me off so much that I had to force myself to read the rest for a critique, and that doesn"t bode well. Proof your profile (you"re missing obvious apostrophes and capitalization) and... I believe you"re confusing "placate" with another word. Unless you meant that you don"t "pacify" or "appease low self-esteem", which... doesn"t make a lick of sense to me. If you"re not taking anything you say seriously, then you"ll attract girls who will follow your cue and not take the relationship/you seriously. Unless that"s what you"re going for, in which case, carry on.

dFiend: Bite the bullet. Hell, we"re already critiquing profiles here, why the hell not add yours too?

Tenks: Nice use of humor. I can see why it"s working for you so far. Just a couple things - you moved there to "pursue" a job opportunity, and if you really want to impress the ladies, I hear the Greek plural of platypus is "platypodes".

I"d suggest leaving out the "I"m going to make fun of you all the time" and "I"m going to treat you like a brat" shit. That"s something you do but not something you tell them you"re going to do. While it can make a lot of women more attracted to you in practice, telling them that makes you seem like a jerk. Then again maybe I"m wrong I"ve never Gamed anyone online or off and have been in a great relationship for 5 and a half years.

Alcestis said:

Jayblah: Last paragraphs do indeed run that risk of alienating girls (aka tripping at the finish line), but I personally believe yours does not. I don"t think that last sentence sounds desperate, especially considering you just laid out what you wanted rather forcefully in the previous three sentences. But some may disagree. =)

Click to expand...

As ever, thank you Alcestis. I took Brekk"s advice into consideration and dropped it. I also incorporated some lines from some other profiles pasted within these past couple of pages (notably Eomer"s and Tenk"s). Here"s the result:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

The nitty:

* I"m a firm believer in living life to the fullest.

* I will try just about anything once. After all, if I"ve never experienced it, how do I know I don"t like it?

* I"m an unabashed nerd.Notthe kind that wears a pocket-protector (though Icanfix your computer) but the kind that has a passion for experiences, culture, and the arts. I love acquiring even the most mundane morsels of information, and will read pretty much anything I can get my hands on. Yes, I"ve even read Twilight (I lost a bet, and I"m still struggling to recover).

* I love discovering new music. If you can introduce me to a musician I"ve overlooked and end up enjoying, I"m in your debt.

* I"m more interested in personality than whether or not your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. You don"t have to be a model for me to respond, but if you happen tobea model, please prove to me that you aren"t all completely insane.

* Totally random tidbit: No one has ever guessed my age correctly based on physical appearance alone. It"s too bad you get to see my age, but I"m willing to bet that you don"t believe it either.

The gritty:

I"ve lived in NJ most of my life, graduated from Rutgers University and currently work in Newark. Despite the background, I don"t wear spray-on tan and pose no risk of putting an eye out with my hairstyle. Basically, I"m extremely easy-going and it takes a herculean effort to stress me out.

I"m beginning to dislike the club/bar scene, so this is my attempt at taking the laid-back, online approach. I"m looking for a confident, adventurous, and free-spirited woman. Possessing a sturdy sense of humor, having an appreciation for arts/culture, and commanding a finely-honed sarcasm detector are all huge pluses. Princesses and emotional wrecks would be wise to stay far, far away. For the rest of you, I have a feeling we will get along just fine.

Click to expand...

Changed the closing statement to avoid running the risk of alienation, removed the "friend" statement from my music point to something less evocative of "friend-zone" haha, and lifted some lines from other profiles.

Chaotic you"re dating a latino girl and you"re surprised at those actions? It"s pretty much your average latina. If you love her, spend the time with her and be happy you got a gorgeous girl that loves you back.

Alcestis-It actually works very well. It"s not about how you see it. It"s about doing something different than 99% of the guys on there. My headline on that site was I can beat up your dad. Women would actually message me and qualify themselves on not being crazy. I still prefer to meet women out and about but that is a fun way to keep my skills going. Anyone that has spent time on a free dating sites knows that most of the women on there are either crazy or looking for an ego boost. I advise you guys to take it as a grain of salt and get out in the world and meet women.

Haha chu

Seriously Chaotic, when"s the wedding. You dated a girl from Columbia and you were surprised by this?

The one liner about puerto ricans was hilarious btw.

Convo said:

Alcestis-It actually works very well. It"s not about how you see it. It"s about doing something different than 99% of the guys on there. My headline on that site was I can beat up your dad. Women would actually message me and qualify themselves on not being crazy. I still prefer to meet women out and about but that is a fun way to keep my skills going. Anyone that has spent time on a free dating sites knows that most of the women on there are either crazy or looking for an ego boost. I advise you guys to take it as a grain of salt and get out in the world and meet women.

Click to expand...

That"s not the issue, I meet plenty of women in the real world, I"m just tired of the type of women I"m meeting through my social circles. I"m looking for something new. I guess I just don"t have as cynical an attitude about it all.

I guess I"m trying this out because I found out, after 3 months of living with him, that my roommate and his gf originally met on a dating website. No idea which one, but they"re at about a year now.

Haka Shakamalakabalsaka said:

That"s not the issue, I meet plenty of women in the real world, I"m just tired of the type of women I"m meeting through my social circles. I"m looking for something new. I guess I just don"t have as cynical an attitude about it all.

I guess I"m trying this out because I found out, after 3 months of living with him, that my roommate and his gf originally met on a dating website. No idea which one, but they"re at about a year now.

Click to expand...

That"s cool man. I think online dating is good. Don"t get me wrong. Just don"t rely on your social circle. Learn to meet women no matter where you are.

Well, I ended up changing my mind about the girlfriend thing. After giving it a month or so I realized that I could see myself marrying this girl and that I was being immature for so callously giving up something that is so difficult to find (an intelligent, good-looking, supportive, emotionally stable woman). It wasn"t easy.

I called her up one night and asked her to go to lunch with me the next day, which she agreed. Things ended up going fairly well, but she basically told me she didn"t trust me, at all, and that I would have to start from zero. So that"s what I did. It was pretty tough going for the first month or so - we were getting along great, but she was extremely reluctant to connect with me on any type of romantic level. On top of this she was being pursued by one or two other dudes and made no qualms about hiding it. I figured I needed to pull out a Grand Romantic Gesture, but roses weren"t going to cut it.

So I made a powerpoint presentation. Using a clicker and a mic that I borrowed from a friend, I created a skit where I have a conversation with my alter-ego who is the digital manifestation of my conscious. Thus, he"s an asshole. Seriously, stay with me. I prerecorded all his lines, and using powerpoint and the clicker, I could make him talk when I wanted to. All I had to do was remember my lines. I managed to convince her to come over, sat her down real serious like and began to talk. About 20 seconds into what I was saying to her, I clicked the button and started the skit. I used the script to basically cut myself down and express some things that I hadn"t been able to articulate before. It was weird, in a funny way, and I felt like an idiot talking to a blank computer monitor but damn if it didn"t work. Sometimes love makes fools of us all.

So anyway, we"ve been together for two months now and things couldn"t be going better.

Can we start linking to backstory posts? So many to keep track of now I"m lost.

you forgot to post the download link for the .pps good sir.

Dear god the weird keeps adding up in this thread. First we have The Package (tm) and now we have The Presentation (tm/pps)

I feel forgotten.

lol what the fuck, there are some grade A fucking creepers in this thread.