Well said. A girl won"t just randomly break up with you if she"s really into you regardless of what is going on in her life. The only reason she"ll break up is if she just isn"t that into you.Dabamf said:
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
- Start date
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,404
- 17,824
Oh, I dunno, I"d reason that if I don"t beat the shit outta the guy, he"s likely to kill me. That"s pretty sound reasoning right there.Inconsiderable said:
That being said, letting road rage escalate into assault isn"t healthy at all. Should probably look into fixing that.
And lay off of Tarrant, you scrubs. The kid is already on the way. That"s going to happen, so what"s the harm in trying out a marriage? Really, what is a marriage anyway except a relationship where you live together and get a tax break? There"s only a couple of possible outcomes here. He can either run away from his responsibilities as a father, or he can embrace the situation and try it out. If you"ve got any other bright ideas, I"m sure he wouldda liked to hear them a few months ago instead of the backhanded bullshit criticism from people who"ve never been in a relationship lasting longer than a football game.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
- 5,472
- 272
I"m not criticizing his decision, but saying that marriage is just a tax break is re-fucking-tarded. It is entering in to a binding legal contract whose termination can cause years of emotional and financial hardship for both parties as well as the child. Far be it from me to criticize his decision, but I certainly hope he made his decision with a little more forethought than that.
You should ignore her and move on. Dabamf is right - she just wasn"t that into you. Just forget about her completely and chalk it up to experience.Dianetics08 said:
I made out alright. Dunno about the other party, but I hear she"s doing well too. Can"t hurt to try!
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
- 5,472
- 272
He"s full of shit, his original marriage went down in fucking flames and the two of them spent a ton of emotional energy hating each other for awhile, even if it"s all good now. Marriage makes it much harder to just walk away from a relationship that isn"t working out. Again, I"m not specifically criticizing Tarrant, the choice is his to make. I"m taking issue with TheCutlery basically saying "shit dawg, marriage is no big thang, it"s the new common law!"
No. It"s not.
No. It"s not.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,404
- 17,824
You act like people don"t get married every single day in this world because of the benefits of doing so. Whether they be financially, or for the good of a child, or just for status purposes, it happens. If you think every union is based upon only the love you have for another person, that"s myopic, at best. As much as that fact enters the equation, there is also AT LEAST an equal part of "Well, this would make my life better in some other way."Eomer said:
I applaud your old fashioned values. Unfortunately, that"s not reality.
Ronaan
Molten Core Raider
- 1,092
- 436
I don"t think that was very smart tbh.Brad2770 said:
I"d sue your balls off if I was him... how in all hell did you come to the conclusion that road rage was a good idea, now that you"re already sitting in the middle of a gigantic shithole? This guy has your license # and 4 buddies to witness you assaulted him, you"re going to jail and become someone"s girlfriend...
Seriously, don"t do that... I"m genuinely worried about you
Update from my front: nothing new really, except Annie sometimes forgets the pill and we spend the rest of the month on fucking rubbers. My penis is not amused.
We"re both not opposed to having children, but would want to live together for a while before starting production... looks like I"ll be moving in with her this summer.
I"ll have to find a place to hide my porn.
I didn"t spend any energy hating her. That was pretty much all her. My marriage also may have "gone down in fucking flames" but like TC said: Give it a shot. That"s what I did, it didn"t work out, I walked away, and here I am. Happy.
Sure as shit not having dating problems and a weepy vagina about my inability to land a decent woman for fear of my self-destructing analytical skills ruining things. Talk about "down in fucking flames," my friend.
@Tarrant: Don"t let "em hate. They can"t even date girls correctly, so what"s the harm in TC"s advice? Don"t listen to me, I"m not the guy who"s been married a long time yet. Listen to TC. He knows whats up.
Brad is doing a pretty classic "take control of one"s life in irrational ways in order to regain a sense of control." Like the teenage girl with ultra strict, controlling parents that becomes anorexic or the wife with a controlling/domineering husband who puts on mass weight for seemingly no reason.
Human beings require a sense of stability and control in order to function properly. When things appear out of one"s control, people tend to do whatever possible to regain control. At the mild end, that causes things like retexting a girl 20 minutes after no reply to a text. At the extreme end, it causes things like anorexia in teenage girls. Brad, you"re much closer to an anorexic teenager than you are to a re-texter. Get help
Human beings require a sense of stability and control in order to function properly. When things appear out of one"s control, people tend to do whatever possible to regain control. At the mild end, that causes things like retexting a girl 20 minutes after no reply to a text. At the extreme end, it causes things like anorexia in teenage girls. Brad, you"re much closer to an anorexic teenager than you are to a re-texter. Get help
When your calvary is Grobb and Cutlery reassuring your decision then holy shit just add in Brad and you"ve got one hell of a wolfpack.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,538
- 8,987
Before I was a lone wolf, a one man wolf pack...
That"s the cool thing about being an adult, I don"t need anyone on the interwebz to re-enforce any decision I make. If I did id have an aborted baby right now and I like to think I made the better of those two decisions.
Also, I"ve been married before, I know the do"s and don"ts of it. Will I still make mistakes? Hell yes I will, but that"s life and I accept that. Bottom line, I"m happy with my life and in the end that"s all that really matters.
I"d post a pic of a dead horse getting beat but I"m on my phone.
That"s the cool thing about being an adult, I don"t need anyone on the interwebz to re-enforce any decision I make. If I did id have an aborted baby right now and I like to think I made the better of those two decisions.
Also, I"ve been married before, I know the do"s and don"ts of it. Will I still make mistakes? Hell yes I will, but that"s life and I accept that. Bottom line, I"m happy with my life and in the end that"s all that really matters.
I"d post a pic of a dead horse getting beat but I"m on my phone.
I applaud you for not taking the easy road and aborting the baby. It takes a real man to own up to responsibility like that. Shit, I guess that applies to Grobbee too.
Brad2770
Avatar of War Slayer
- 5,221
- 16,408
Dabamf, I won"t deny that my actions was some sort of grasp at control, but it was not any kind of yell for attention, like an anorexic girl. My whole life, I have taken the passive approach. Especially with my ex. She walked all over me. For once, I wanted to see what it was like to be the agressor in an extreme situation. I was already prepared for the "worst". I still am.
Like I said before, I feel different. For once, since my ex left me, I have no desire to talk about her or my whole situation. I don"t feel like talking about my lay off or my lack of females. I am content with my clean slate and I am somewhat happy with my ability to fill it up how I desire.
Like I said before, I feel different. For once, since my ex left me, I have no desire to talk about her or my whole situation. I don"t feel like talking about my lay off or my lack of females. I am content with my clean slate and I am somewhat happy with my ability to fill it up how I desire.
Hmm. I havent left my house in 3 days now (beside getting some fast food) and talking to strangers might help, so I will give it a try. And sorry if it is not very coherent, but I havent sleep much last week. It is not the only thing keeping me awake, but prolly a huge part. Stupid insomnia:
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Like two months ago I met a girl at university. She was not and still is not my type. After some talking we went to a party, then another one and shortly after we saw each other five days a week (plus chat/skype in the evening). Still, I was not really into her. There was no spark, no tension.
This went on for around a month, always spending time together. I basicly stopped seeing other people, beside my closest friends. Yet I slowly became interested, not because of the normal emotional/instinct based "she hot/cute", but simply because I thought "Why not?". Usually my relationships go to hell because I pick girls by looks and not by character; and because I am attracted to emotional volatile drama queens. I liked spending time with her that didnt involve sex and she appeared emotional stable. Why not?
Also she did show interest all the time. She basicly always tried to be close.. like always sitting next to me, turning slightly towards me that our knees would touch, using every possible excuse to touch each other, trying to get praise from me, etc. This got alot worse when she did drink some alcohol.. sitting on my lap, getting jealous when I talked to other people and basicly pulling them away from me, once she even told a guy who was hitting on her that she was in love with me (but of course doesnt remember it, was a wild night).
At this point I decided to give it a try, but realized she was seeking contact and flirting.. but when I did respond she slightly pulled back. As I was reading this thread anyway I made a posting asking if someone experienced behaviour like this (her constantly initiating physical contact, but when I just put a hand on her shoulder while talking she instantly pulled slightly back). I got two good replies. One saying she prolly wants me to go caveman on her, which is something I just dont like. And another saying she is a catlady and therefor I should MEOW next time she touchs me and see what happens (lol).
And now the drama starts. I was still confused and not really sure what I was supposed to do. She was clearly interested and hitting on me for weeks now, but whenever I responded she"d pull back when sober. But I refused to take advantage of her intoxicated behaviour. I will call her "C" from now on.
One of her best friends (Ill call her "A") came to visit her and brought of her own friends. I thought its a good time to get some distance and catch up with friends I didnt see alot because of her. Didnt really work because the friends of A didnt like C and were kinda mean and C was sad and didnt want to go out with them alone and wanted me to tag along...
Told her that I am already busy on Friday/Saturday, but that I will join her on Sunday. Well, Sunday is a decent day to party here. There are two clubs from like noon to 4 pm and 4 pm to 1 am or so with lots of crazy foreigners. I didnt sleep saturday to sunday, just went home to shower and then arrived at 10 am for pre-drinking. Of course her friends bailed so it was me, her and another girl. Some cidre, redbull and a bottle of vodka later we were on our way to the first club.
Club itself was fun. But she, C, already started acting like a bitch on our way there. She sometimes does that a little, but this time it became really annoying. In the club the friend "visiting her" simply ignored her, until I went over to talk to A and had both girls hug each other and say hello (before they ignored each other again).
After the first club we were going to get some pizza and her friends bailed yet again to go somewhere else to get food. At this point I was seriously angry for them acting like this. I mean... for over a week she was talking about nothing but her best friend A coming to visit her and now this. Yet again I went over to their group and told A that we were going to get pizza as planned and that her best friend C is missing her.. then one of her annoying friends said "Say goodbye to A, talk is over" and pulled her away. I was like.. wtf? Told her to fuck herself and left.
At this point C became even more of a bitch, because her friends were also hanging out with her ex bf who was a real dick. On our way to the restaurant she got a text saying that they (A+friends+her ex) were hanging out in the park and if she wants to come.
I told her that I am not going there and that we should just get pizza as planned. I didnt like the people that were treating her like this and right now she was also pissing me off. She grabbed the arm of the other girl that was with us and pulled her towards the park telling me to follow.
I turned around and left. Went to McD to get some food, bought something in a clothing store nearby and when I was about to go home my phone reminded me that a friend was going to join me in the club around the corner. So I called him and told him I am about to go home and that I am pissed. He told me to go party with him and ignore her and that he is there in half an hour.
Later on I was told that while I was having a burger and waiting for my friend, she (C) made a fool of herself in the park with a stupid comment towards her ex"s new gf. /clap
I also got a text asking me if I could bring some fast food to the park and join them. Texted her back to fuck off.
So anyway, we were having a great time in the club until we run into C again. She was asking whats wrong and then we tried talking about it. It went very well. I basicly told her she is acting like a bitch, that I cannot stand it anymore and she started crying. I felt bad, so I told her we talk another time and went back to my group. At this point she started talking to her ex and this guy really hurt her back then. I cannot stand people like him. See was talking to him, still tears in her eyes and emotionally at rock bottom level and this asshole kept smiling and smiling. At some point I walked over and told him he either stops smiling by himself or I make him stop smiling -- with my fist. Took him some time to realize that I am not joking. Nearly punched him then and there but one of my friends was sober enough to stop me. After this he did kinda avoid me. Usually I am not that aggressive.. but I was really angry at this point. And last time I slept was like 4 hours friday night and I was drinking/partying since friday, now it was sunday evening.
Anyway, we left the club and went for some pizza and my friend did for some reason invite C and the girl that was with her all day. It was terrible. She kept acting like a bitch, I kept making her feel bad about herself with mean comments. Somehow we still decided to finish the evening by post-drinking some vodka at C"s room (in a shared flat). At some point the other girl just got off a random station saying she needs to get off here. She didnt, she just couldnt stand the fighting anymore.
So we started drinking, C fell nearly instantly asleep in her bed and me and my friend were talking for 1-2 hours until the vodka was gone and then left.
Terrible day.
So on monday I tell her to leave me alone until we talked about it. Tuesday she panics and asked everyone what she did on sunday because she claims not to remember most of it.
Wednesday we meet and talk. I am usually a very undiplomatic person. But I really, really tried. I started telling her how much time we spend together, that this shows how much I like her and she is important for me, blahblah. Then I told her that the way she acted on sunday was disrespectful and so on that I rather not spend time with her if she treats me like this. At this point I had lost all interest in her. I was sitting there talking to her to save our friendship.
She started by telling me that she only wants to be friends and nothing more and that she is sorry if I want more (what?!). Then she said she went on with some blahblah and that she cannot remember alot and that she is sorry.
While talking she basicly came across like "Well I spend time with you, because you are available, not because I like spending time with you. Oh yea and what can I say about sunday? Well I dont remember anything so sorry if that is what you want to hear".
I told her that her behaviour/subconcious betrays her interest in me. And if that isnt the case she did try to play with me and as I am not a toy, our friendship is over. Also said that she showed her interest as clearly as hitting me with a hammer. Now she was like she never intended to act like this and if she does it again I should tell her so she can stop. I know she was hurt and is right now still afraid of getting hurt.. but the protective lies are just so transparent.
I was going to ignore her from now on. I mean.. I basicly tell her how important she is to me, that I would like to keep spending time with her, etc and she acts like she doesnt care. "I said sorry, what else can I do." Fucking act like you are sorry.
As I was saying.. I was going to ignore her. But then a common friend told me that she isnt herself anymore, that she is kinda empty? (dunno how you say it in english). So I talked with her abit on a party on saturday and will see her on thursday again. I am still angry with her, but I do kinda feel sorry for her, too.
I do really miss spending time with her. Sometimes it keeps me awake doing its part in my insomnia. But it is not a romantic interest.. I just miss her as a friend. Narf.
Anyway, gotta get ready for my date this evening. It is going to be a real challenge, as she is a 10 and her smile makes me lose all confidence in myself. Always her smile is like "omg i am soooo happy to see you!!", which is great and makes you feel good about yourself. But I tend to forget what I was going to say when she smiles. Which is totally not good.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Like two months ago I met a girl at university. She was not and still is not my type. After some talking we went to a party, then another one and shortly after we saw each other five days a week (plus chat/skype in the evening). Still, I was not really into her. There was no spark, no tension.
This went on for around a month, always spending time together. I basicly stopped seeing other people, beside my closest friends. Yet I slowly became interested, not because of the normal emotional/instinct based "she hot/cute", but simply because I thought "Why not?". Usually my relationships go to hell because I pick girls by looks and not by character; and because I am attracted to emotional volatile drama queens. I liked spending time with her that didnt involve sex and she appeared emotional stable. Why not?
Also she did show interest all the time. She basicly always tried to be close.. like always sitting next to me, turning slightly towards me that our knees would touch, using every possible excuse to touch each other, trying to get praise from me, etc. This got alot worse when she did drink some alcohol.. sitting on my lap, getting jealous when I talked to other people and basicly pulling them away from me, once she even told a guy who was hitting on her that she was in love with me (but of course doesnt remember it, was a wild night).
At this point I decided to give it a try, but realized she was seeking contact and flirting.. but when I did respond she slightly pulled back. As I was reading this thread anyway I made a posting asking if someone experienced behaviour like this (her constantly initiating physical contact, but when I just put a hand on her shoulder while talking she instantly pulled slightly back). I got two good replies. One saying she prolly wants me to go caveman on her, which is something I just dont like. And another saying she is a catlady and therefor I should MEOW next time she touchs me and see what happens (lol).
And now the drama starts. I was still confused and not really sure what I was supposed to do. She was clearly interested and hitting on me for weeks now, but whenever I responded she"d pull back when sober. But I refused to take advantage of her intoxicated behaviour. I will call her "C" from now on.
One of her best friends (Ill call her "A") came to visit her and brought of her own friends. I thought its a good time to get some distance and catch up with friends I didnt see alot because of her. Didnt really work because the friends of A didnt like C and were kinda mean and C was sad and didnt want to go out with them alone and wanted me to tag along...
Told her that I am already busy on Friday/Saturday, but that I will join her on Sunday. Well, Sunday is a decent day to party here. There are two clubs from like noon to 4 pm and 4 pm to 1 am or so with lots of crazy foreigners. I didnt sleep saturday to sunday, just went home to shower and then arrived at 10 am for pre-drinking. Of course her friends bailed so it was me, her and another girl. Some cidre, redbull and a bottle of vodka later we were on our way to the first club.
Club itself was fun. But she, C, already started acting like a bitch on our way there. She sometimes does that a little, but this time it became really annoying. In the club the friend "visiting her" simply ignored her, until I went over to talk to A and had both girls hug each other and say hello (before they ignored each other again).
After the first club we were going to get some pizza and her friends bailed yet again to go somewhere else to get food. At this point I was seriously angry for them acting like this. I mean... for over a week she was talking about nothing but her best friend A coming to visit her and now this. Yet again I went over to their group and told A that we were going to get pizza as planned and that her best friend C is missing her.. then one of her annoying friends said "Say goodbye to A, talk is over" and pulled her away. I was like.. wtf? Told her to fuck herself and left.
At this point C became even more of a bitch, because her friends were also hanging out with her ex bf who was a real dick. On our way to the restaurant she got a text saying that they (A+friends+her ex) were hanging out in the park and if she wants to come.
I told her that I am not going there and that we should just get pizza as planned. I didnt like the people that were treating her like this and right now she was also pissing me off. She grabbed the arm of the other girl that was with us and pulled her towards the park telling me to follow.
I turned around and left. Went to McD to get some food, bought something in a clothing store nearby and when I was about to go home my phone reminded me that a friend was going to join me in the club around the corner. So I called him and told him I am about to go home and that I am pissed. He told me to go party with him and ignore her and that he is there in half an hour.
Later on I was told that while I was having a burger and waiting for my friend, she (C) made a fool of herself in the park with a stupid comment towards her ex"s new gf. /clap
I also got a text asking me if I could bring some fast food to the park and join them. Texted her back to fuck off.
So anyway, we were having a great time in the club until we run into C again. She was asking whats wrong and then we tried talking about it. It went very well. I basicly told her she is acting like a bitch, that I cannot stand it anymore and she started crying. I felt bad, so I told her we talk another time and went back to my group. At this point she started talking to her ex and this guy really hurt her back then. I cannot stand people like him. See was talking to him, still tears in her eyes and emotionally at rock bottom level and this asshole kept smiling and smiling. At some point I walked over and told him he either stops smiling by himself or I make him stop smiling -- with my fist. Took him some time to realize that I am not joking. Nearly punched him then and there but one of my friends was sober enough to stop me. After this he did kinda avoid me. Usually I am not that aggressive.. but I was really angry at this point. And last time I slept was like 4 hours friday night and I was drinking/partying since friday, now it was sunday evening.
Anyway, we left the club and went for some pizza and my friend did for some reason invite C and the girl that was with her all day. It was terrible. She kept acting like a bitch, I kept making her feel bad about herself with mean comments. Somehow we still decided to finish the evening by post-drinking some vodka at C"s room (in a shared flat). At some point the other girl just got off a random station saying she needs to get off here. She didnt, she just couldnt stand the fighting anymore.
So we started drinking, C fell nearly instantly asleep in her bed and me and my friend were talking for 1-2 hours until the vodka was gone and then left.
Terrible day.
So on monday I tell her to leave me alone until we talked about it. Tuesday she panics and asked everyone what she did on sunday because she claims not to remember most of it.
Wednesday we meet and talk. I am usually a very undiplomatic person. But I really, really tried. I started telling her how much time we spend together, that this shows how much I like her and she is important for me, blahblah. Then I told her that the way she acted on sunday was disrespectful and so on that I rather not spend time with her if she treats me like this. At this point I had lost all interest in her. I was sitting there talking to her to save our friendship.
She started by telling me that she only wants to be friends and nothing more and that she is sorry if I want more (what?!). Then she said she went on with some blahblah and that she cannot remember alot and that she is sorry.
While talking she basicly came across like "Well I spend time with you, because you are available, not because I like spending time with you. Oh yea and what can I say about sunday? Well I dont remember anything so sorry if that is what you want to hear".
I told her that her behaviour/subconcious betrays her interest in me. And if that isnt the case she did try to play with me and as I am not a toy, our friendship is over. Also said that she showed her interest as clearly as hitting me with a hammer. Now she was like she never intended to act like this and if she does it again I should tell her so she can stop. I know she was hurt and is right now still afraid of getting hurt.. but the protective lies are just so transparent.
I was going to ignore her from now on. I mean.. I basicly tell her how important she is to me, that I would like to keep spending time with her, etc and she acts like she doesnt care. "I said sorry, what else can I do." Fucking act like you are sorry.
As I was saying.. I was going to ignore her. But then a common friend told me that she isnt herself anymore, that she is kinda empty? (dunno how you say it in english). So I talked with her abit on a party on saturday and will see her on thursday again. I am still angry with her, but I do kinda feel sorry for her, too.
I do really miss spending time with her. Sometimes it keeps me awake doing its part in my insomnia. But it is not a romantic interest.. I just miss her as a friend. Narf.
Anyway, gotta get ready for my date this evening. It is going to be a real challenge, as she is a 10 and her smile makes me lose all confidence in myself. Always her smile is like "omg i am soooo happy to see you!!", which is great and makes you feel good about yourself. But I tend to forget what I was going to say when she smiles. Which is totally not good.