Girls who broke your heart thread

findar_foh · Mar 31, 2010

So like, did you meow or what?

Eomer · Mar 31, 2010

TheCutlery said:
You act like people don"t get married every single day in this world because of the benefits of doing so. Whether they be financially, or for the good of a child, or just for status purposes, it happens. If you think every union is based upon only the love you have for another person, that"s myopic, at best. As much as that fact enters the equation, there is also AT LEAST an equal part of "Well, this would make my life better in some other way."

I applaud your old fashioned values. Unfortunately, that"s not reality.

What? I"ve never made any comment about what I think marriage is for, so I don"t get what you"re talking about. I merely took issue with your opinion that marriage is "no big deal" and so why the hell not try it right? That"s just a fucking retarded viewpoint from a legal as well as emotional standpoint, but I"m primarily focused on the legal really.

Tarrant said:
Anyways, I"ve stated time and time again why I"ve made the decisions I am, there"s no real sense in beating a dead horse over it. ~shrugs~

Again to be clear I"m not criticizing you and have specifically refrained from doing so. Your choice is made and whether I disagree with it or not (I"m neutral really) there"s little point berating you. Again, I"m taking specific issue with TheCutlery"s retarded opinion/statement about marriage.

Kenadul · Mar 31, 2010

Inconsiderable said:
Hmm. I havent left my house in 3 days now (beside getting some fast food) and talking to strangers might help, so I will give it a try. And sorry if it is not very coherent, but I havent sleep much last week. It is not the only thing keeping me awake, but prolly a huge part. Stupid insomnia:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Like two months ago I met a girl at university. She was not and still is not my type. After some talking we went to a party, then another one and shortly after we saw each other five days a week (plus chat/skype in the evening). Still, I was not really into her. There was no spark, no tension.
This went on for around a month, always spending time together. I basicly stopped seeing other people, beside my closest friends. Yet I slowly became interested, not because of the normal emotional/instinct based "she hot/cute", but simply because I thought "Why not?". Usually my relationships go to hell because I pick girls by looks and not by character; and because I am attracted to emotional volatile drama queens. I liked spending time with her that didnt involve sex and she appeared emotional stable. Why not?

Also she did show interest all the time. She basicly always tried to be close.. like always sitting next to me, turning slightly towards me that our knees would touch, using every possible excuse to touch each other, trying to get praise from me, etc. This got alot worse when she did drink some alcohol.. sitting on my lap, getting jealous when I talked to other people and basicly pulling them away from me, once she even told a guy who was hitting on her that she was in love with me (but of course doesnt remember it, was a wild night).

At this point I decided to give it a try, but realized she was seeking contact and flirting.. but when I did respond she slightly pulled back. As I was reading this thread anyway I made a posting asking if someone experienced behaviour like this (her constantly initiating physical contact, but when I just put a hand on her shoulder while talking she instantly pulled slightly back). I got two good replies. One saying she prolly wants me to go caveman on her, which is something I just dont like. And another saying she is a catlady and therefor I should MEOW next time she touchs me and see what happens (lol).

And now the drama starts. I was still confused and not really sure what I was supposed to do. She was clearly interested and hitting on me for weeks now, but whenever I responded she"d pull back when sober. But I refused to take advantage of her intoxicated behaviour. I will call her "C" from now on.
One of her best friends (Ill call her "A") came to visit her and brought of her own friends. I thought its a good time to get some distance and catch up with friends I didnt see alot because of her. Didnt really work because the friends of A didnt like C and were kinda mean and C was sad and didnt want to go out with them alone and wanted me to tag along...
Told her that I am already busy on Friday/Saturday, but that I will join her on Sunday. Well, Sunday is a decent day to party here. There are two clubs from like noon to 4 pm and 4 pm to 1 am or so with lots of crazy foreigners. I didnt sleep saturday to sunday, just went home to shower and then arrived at 10 am for pre-drinking. Of course her friends bailed so it was me, her and another girl. Some cidre, redbull and a bottle of vodka later we were on our way to the first club.

Club itself was fun. But she, C, already started acting like a bitch on our way there. She sometimes does that a little, but this time it became really annoying. In the club the friend "visiting her" simply ignored her, until I went over to talk to A and had both girls hug each other and say hello (before they ignored each other again).
After the first club we were going to get some pizza and her friends bailed yet again to go somewhere else to get food. At this point I was seriously angry for them acting like this. I mean... for over a week she was talking about nothing but her best friend A coming to visit her and now this. Yet again I went over to their group and told A that we were going to get pizza as planned and that her best friend C is missing her.. then one of her annoying friends said "Say goodbye to A, talk is over" and pulled her away. I was like.. wtf? Told her to fuck herself and left.

At this point C became even more of a bitch, because her friends were also hanging out with her ex bf who was a real dick. On our way to the restaurant she got a text saying that they (A+friends+her ex) were hanging out in the park and if she wants to come.
I told her that I am not going there and that we should just get pizza as planned. I didnt like the people that were treating her like this and right now she was also pissing me off. She grabbed the arm of the other girl that was with us and pulled her towards the park telling me to follow.
I turned around and left. Went to McD to get some food, bought something in a clothing store nearby and when I was about to go home my phone reminded me that a friend was going to join me in the club around the corner. So I called him and told him I am about to go home and that I am pissed. He told me to go party with him and ignore her and that he is there in half an hour.

Later on I was told that while I was having a burger and waiting for my friend, she (C) made a fool of herself in the park with a stupid comment towards her ex"s new gf. /clap
I also got a text asking me if I could bring some fast food to the park and join them. Texted her back to fuck off.

So anyway, we were having a great time in the club until we run into C again. She was asking whats wrong and then we tried talking about it. It went very well. I basicly told her she is acting like a bitch, that I cannot stand it anymore and she started crying. I felt bad, so I told her we talk another time and went back to my group. At this point she started talking to her ex and this guy really hurt her back then. I cannot stand people like him. See was talking to him, still tears in her eyes and emotionally at rock bottom level and this asshole kept smiling and smiling. At some point I walked over and told him he either stops smiling by himself or I make him stop smiling -- with my fist. Took him some time to realize that I am not joking. Nearly punched him then and there but one of my friends was sober enough to stop me. After this he did kinda avoid me. Usually I am not that aggressive.. but I was really angry at this point. And last time I slept was like 4 hours friday night and I was drinking/partying since friday, now it was sunday evening.

Anyway, we left the club and went for some pizza and my friend did for some reason invite C and the girl that was with her all day. It was terrible. She kept acting like a bitch, I kept making her feel bad about herself with mean comments. Somehow we still decided to finish the evening by post-drinking some vodka at C"s room (in a shared flat). At some point the other girl just got off a random station saying she needs to get off here. She didnt, she just couldnt stand the fighting anymore.

So we started drinking, C fell nearly instantly asleep in her bed and me and my friend were talking for 1-2 hours until the vodka was gone and then left.
Terrible day.

So on monday I tell her to leave me alone until we talked about it. Tuesday she panics and asked everyone what she did on sunday because she claims not to remember most of it.
Wednesday we meet and talk. I am usually a very undiplomatic person. But I really, really tried. I started telling her how much time we spend together, that this shows how much I like her and she is important for me, blahblah. Then I told her that the way she acted on sunday was disrespectful and so on that I rather not spend time with her if she treats me like this. At this point I had lost all interest in her. I was sitting there talking to her to save our friendship.

She started by telling me that she only wants to be friends and nothing more and that she is sorry if I want more (what?!). Then she said she went on with some blahblah and that she cannot remember alot and that she is sorry.
While talking she basicly came across like "Well I spend time with you, because you are available, not because I like spending time with you. Oh yea and what can I say about sunday? Well I dont remember anything so sorry if that is what you want to hear".
I told her that her behaviour/subconcious betrays her interest in me. And if that isnt the case she did try to play with me and as I am not a toy, our friendship is over. Also said that she showed her interest as clearly as hitting me with a hammer. Now she was like she never intended to act like this and if she does it again I should tell her so she can stop. I know she was hurt and is right now still afraid of getting hurt.. but the protective lies are just so transparent.

I was going to ignore her from now on. I mean.. I basicly tell her how important she is to me, that I would like to keep spending time with her, etc and she acts like she doesnt care. "I said sorry, what else can I do." Fucking act like you are sorry.
As I was saying.. I was going to ignore her. But then a common friend told me that she isnt herself anymore, that she is kinda empty? (dunno how you say it in english). So I talked with her abit on a party on saturday and will see her on thursday again. I am still angry with her, but I do kinda feel sorry for her, too.

I do really miss spending time with her. Sometimes it keeps me awake doing its part in my insomnia. But it is not a romantic interest.. I just miss her as a friend. Narf.

Anyway, gotta get ready for my date this evening. It is going to be a real challenge, as she is a 10 and her smile makes me lose all confidence in myself. Always her smile is like "omg i am soooo happy to see you!!", which is great and makes you feel good about yourself. But I tend to forget what I was going to say when she smiles. Which is totally not good.

Friend zone bro, it is good that you already have another date lined up though, forget that other chick.

Ronaan · Mar 31, 2010

Inconsiderable said:
Anyway, gotta get ready for my date this evening. It is going to be a real challenge, as she is a 10 and her smile makes me lose all confidence in myself. Always her smile is like "omg i am soooo happy to see you!!", which is great and makes you feel good about yourself. But I tend to forget what I was going to say when she smiles. Which is totally not good.

This one is going to break your heart.
First, she"ll rip it out and stomp on it some with her high heels.

It"s how I felt about the climber girl last summer...

Anyway, about C ... and the clique around her... how old are you folks? Early 20s, I guess, with all the partying and such...

She"s a bitch.

Cutlery · Mar 31, 2010

Eomer said:
What? I"ve never made any comment about what I think marriage is for, so I don"t get what you"re talking about. I merely took issue with your opinion that marriage is "no big deal" and so why the hell not try it right? That"s just a fucking retarded viewpoint from a legal as well as emotional standpoint, but I"m primarily focused on the legal really.

Again to be clear I"m not criticizing you and have specifically refrained from doing so. Your choice is made and whether I disagree with it or not (I"m neutral really) there"s little point berating you. Again, I"m taking specific issue with TheCutlery"s retarded opinion/statement about marriage.

The fact you disagree with it infers what you think marriage is for. You take issue with the fact that marriage occurs for reasons other than, or in addition to "Yeah, this person is pretty neat." That"s wrong. There"s nothing else to it. You"re telling me that no one has ever gotten married for financial gain, to further their career, increase the social status, or for the benefit of a child?

Whether or not you personally agree with the viewpoint of the people who engage is such activities is irrelevant. It happens. The fact that for a tiny portion of humanity"s history, marriage was a choice union based upon true love doesn"t make up for the fact that for the rest of it, it was used to increase wealth, create alliances, or to better your position in life. This is not a new concept, it"s a concept that was lost in the romanticism of the 20th century.

Getting married for the benefit of a child isn"t a bad decision. Staying married for the benefit of your child isn"t a bad decision. I know men who willingly got back together with women they freely admit are bitches, JUST because it makes the child issue so much easier. This is a topic you don"t understand because you don"t have kids and have never had to deal with it. When the mother of your child wants to fuck up your life, she can and will. You can either take the ass reaming as it comes (Brad), go groveling back and tolerate the situation just so you can see your kid more often than once every 2 weeks (my friend), or you can go into it with good intentions and actually give an honest effort towards making things work (Tarrant). I don"t see how he"s wrong in this decision.

You don"t want to get married for money, power, or status? Fine. Your prerogative. Just don"t pretend that it doesn"t happen, and people are making the wrong decision for doing otherwise.

And by the way, I"m pretty sure I"ve never called you retarded, and never been anything but respectful in conversations with you. If you"d like that to continue and for us to have a civil discourse, I"d suggest you choose your words more carefully. You"re one of the few people around here who I actually respect, since you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you just get unlucky with women. That"s changing, rapidly.

Eomer · Mar 31, 2010

TheCutlery said:
The fact you disagree with it infers what you think marriage is for. You take issue with the fact that marriage occurs for reasons other than, or in addition to "Yeah, this person is pretty neat." That"s wrong. There"s nothing else to it. You"re telling me that no one has ever gotten married for financial gain, to further their career, increase the social status, or for the benefit of a child?

For fuck"s sake, my entire argument with you has been around the fact that marriage is a legal contract and terminating it is much more difficult than walking away from a common law one, because you made this specific statement:

so what"s the harm in trying out a marriage? Really, what is a marriage anyway except a relationship where you live together and get a tax break?

Any way you cut it, that"s a fucking retarded statement because it"s completely untrue. There is far more to a marriage both in legal and emotional terms than a goddamn tax break. No one should be "trying marriage out." Hell, starting from that basis is likely to lead directly to it"s failure, because holding such an attitude is a pretty good indication that whoever holds it is not overly committed to the idea in the first place.

I don"t see how he"s wrong in this decision

FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, I AM NOT SAYING HE IS. JESUS TITTY FUCK.

You don"t want to get married for money, power, or status? Fine. Your prerogative. Just don"t pretend that it doesn"t happen, and people are making the wrong decision for doing otherwise.

I never said otherwise.

And by the way, I"m pretty sure I"ve never called you retarded, and never been anything but respectful in conversations with you. If you"d like that to continue and for us to have a civil discourse, I"d suggest you choose your words more carefully. You"re one of the few people around here who I actually respect, since you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you just get unlucky with women. That"s changing, rapidl

I didn"t call you retarded. I called your viewpoint expressed in that specific statement retarded. And it is, any way you cut it. You expressed a cavalier attitude about marriage that all it is is a change in tax status in the eyes of the government, when there is far more to it than just that. And further, that terminating a marriage tends to be far more difficult to do than had the relationship remained common law, even if everything else was the same (living arrangement, kids etc). And therefore I hoped Tarrant had put more thought in to his decision than he would have had he held the same viewpoint, however I made no comment on whether in my opinion he had or had not put said thought in nor whether he held the same viewpoint.

Cad · Mar 31, 2010

Eomer said:
For fuck"s sake, my entire argument with you has been around the fact that marriage is a legal contract and terminating it is much more difficult than walking away from a common law one, because you made this specific statement:

FYI you can get common law married but you cannot get common law divorced - once a common law marriage has been established, you must get a divorce decree in order to no longer be married. There is absolutely no difference in divorce between a common law marriage and a ceremony-performed marriage.

Unless you"re using the term common law marriage as a synonym for shacking up, I don"t know what you"re getting at here.

Eomer · Mar 31, 2010

Cad said:
FYI you can get common law married but you cannot get common law divorced - once a common law marriage has been established, you must get a divorce decree in order to no longer be married. There is absolutely no difference in divorce between a common law marriage and a ceremony-performed marriage.

Unless you"re using the term common law marriage as a synonym for shacking up, I don"t know what you"re getting at here.

Shacking up with no legal obligations other than what"s imposed in terms of child support.

Cad · Mar 31, 2010

Eomer said:
Shacking up with no legal obligations other than what"s imposed in terms of child support.

Okay well that"s not common law anything..

Eomer · Mar 31, 2010

Cad said:
Okay well that"s not common law anything..

Depends on where you live, actually.

Cad · Mar 31, 2010

Eomer said:
Depends on where you live, actually.

Based on what you said, I"d like to know what common law doctrine applies additional restrictions when you plainly said "shacking up with NO LEGAL OBLIGATIONS other than those imposed by child support".

Seems to me like you"re postulating no obligations whatsoever and yet still that amounts to some sort of common law arrangement. Care to explain?

Tarrant · Mar 31, 2010

Real quick I will say I disagree 100% with staying with a women for the sake of the kids. If things are bad enough for a divorce then for the sake of the kids you should get a divorce. A disfunctional household is much more destructive imo then a divorce. Just my opinion.

Eomer · Mar 31, 2010

Cad said:
Based on what you said, I"d like to know what common law doctrine applies additional restrictions when you plainly said "shacking up with NO LEGAL OBLIGATIONS other than those imposed by child support".

Seems to me like you"re postulating no obligations whatsoever and yet still that amounts to some sort of common law arrangement. Care to explain?

I"m not sure exactly what you"re getting at, to be honest. When I used the term "common law" I meant a couple living together but not legally married. My bad if that"s not proper usage of the term.

Cutlery · Mar 31, 2010

You contend that marriage is something which is vastly above and beyond 2 people sharing living quarters. I contend it"s not. There"s a contract involved? Oh, holy shit, I need to rethink my position! Oh wait, no I don"t, because those contracts are dissolved every single fucking day. If your entire position revolves around the fucking marriage license, then there"s really no hope for you.

I"m starting to see why you have such problems with women though. If this is the guy who emerges in a few weeks, it"s no wonder no one wants to put up with your self righteous bullshit.

ToeMissile · Mar 31, 2010

Brad2770 said:
Dabamf, I won"t deny that my actions was some sort of grasp at control, but it was not any kind of yell for attention, like an anorexic girl. My whole life, I have taken the passive approach. Especially with my ex. She walked all over me. For once, I wanted to see what it was like to be the agressor in an extreme situation. I was already prepared for the "worst". I still am.

Like I said before, I feel different. For once, since my ex left me, I have no desire to talk about her or my whole situation. I don"t feel like talking about my lay off or my lack of females. I am content with my clean slate and I am somewhat happy with my ability to fill it up how I desire.

Brad has WWS (Walter White Syndrom).

Inconsiderable_foh · Mar 31, 2010

findar said:
So like, did you meow or what?

While drunk, dont think it helped.

Ronaan said:
Anyway, about C ... and the clique around her... how old are you folks? Early 20s, I guess, with all the partying and such...

Depends.. were between 32 and 23. Me being in the middle (26) and she is one of the youngest with 23.
Doesnt really matter, I realized that she (still) is not my taste and I rather stay friends with her.

Anyway. I just want to the report the biggest failure ever. I carefully planned the date, really put some effort into it. It included an art exhibition earlier today, some location changes and if all goes well a comedy cafe in the end.
Well, not sure what I was thinking... but for some reason I blacked out everything but the comedy cafe. When I called her and told her I had a busy day (true) and will be abit late.. she told me that she was waiting for me earlier today. When I did not even call her, she thought I had other plans and went out with her friends. I even thought about calling her after I had lunch, but didnt want to appear.. (whats the word?) pushy? needy? insecure?

She is away over the weekend and told me that we can do something next week. But I am not sure that I want to or that she will even take the call. I mean.. I told her how much fun it is going to be and then basicly FORGOT about her. Completely fucked up. I feel so emo right now.

Tenks · Mar 31, 2010

Haha, that"s hilarious. So you basically made plans for a day-long date and completely forgot about all the day stuff?

Inconsiderable_foh · Mar 31, 2010

Yes... basicly that happened. And no idea what to do now, I am kinda shocked by myself.

Tenks · Mar 31, 2010

To be fair some chicks eat shit like that up as long as you "make it up" to her the next date

Dabamf_sl · Mar 31, 2010

Tenks said:
To be fair some chicks eat shit like that up as long as you "make it up" to her the next date

Haha yea this. It could ruin any chance you had, or make her 5x more into you.

TheCutlery, jesus dude. It"s like you take everything that is true in life and say the opposite. I"ll go ahead and tell you that, as the product of a marriage that stayed together "for the kids," it"s the worst fuckin idea ever, almost as bad as beating up a guy that cuts you off or any girl on earth marrying grobbee.

P.S. Brad, anorexia isn"t about attention, it"s about control. Same issue, different symptom.

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Girls who broke your heart thread

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