Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
- Start date
Since you don"t appear to be interested in emotional answers like "guilt from lack of respect" or axioms like "honesty must be a bedrock for a relationship", etc.:
There is NO chance whatsoever you can be traced back? Maybe the reason why you aren"t getting decent answers is because it"s difficult to hypothesize on an unbelievable absolute. You say it with such certainty that you"re either God-like (in which you can control and see all possible/weird outcomes) or you"re hubristically overconfident. Even the dumbest of people should factor in bizarre bad luck and di ex machina (Latin for "Are you seriously fucking kidding me?") when it comes to secrets. When you fuck someone else, the secret is necessarily shared. Yeah, you can control yourself, but you can"t controlher.
*shrugs* This answer only works because I reject your initial postulate - which I rationally can"t accept. If you amend the question to, "If there is atinychance of getting caught, what logical reason do you have not to cheat?", then the onlylogicalanswer would be, "Because there is a chance."
You"re a Pokemon trainer, collecting badges and trying to wade through the smallest amount of grass necessary to lessen the chance you run into yet another fucking Pidgy. But sooner or later, the more you play, the chance goes higher that you"re going to run into someone better than you at your own game. Oh, really, you"re excluding whores and sluts because of disease-risk? You and I both know it only takes one time, and she might not even know about it. She can lie. She could desperate for a kid, trying every trick to get you to knock her up. The condom could fall off. It could be defective. That two minutes you went to the bathroom? She might have gone through your wallet and found out who you were. She could be the daughter of a powerful/rich/psychotic family with ties to ANYTHING. Or, mind-bottlingly enough, she could just be a better player than you. Maybe she gets off on knowing she"s on camera and set one up in the room without you knowing? It goes on. If this one person really wanted to, her desire to find you would outweigh your desire to keep it covered up. How would you glean all/any of this during an international trip while you were looking to score some ass? How COULD you know?Dabamf said:
There is NO chance whatsoever you can be traced back? Maybe the reason why you aren"t getting decent answers is because it"s difficult to hypothesize on an unbelievable absolute. You say it with such certainty that you"re either God-like (in which you can control and see all possible/weird outcomes) or you"re hubristically overconfident. Even the dumbest of people should factor in bizarre bad luck and di ex machina (Latin for "Are you seriously fucking kidding me?") when it comes to secrets. When you fuck someone else, the secret is necessarily shared. Yeah, you can control yourself, but you can"t controlher.
*shrugs* This answer only works because I reject your initial postulate - which I rationally can"t accept. If you amend the question to, "If there is atinychance of getting caught, what logical reason do you have not to cheat?", then the onlylogicalanswer would be, "Because there is a chance."
Youre type number 2. there"s three types. Those that cheat, those that would cheat if in a perfect universe would never get caught, and those that would never cheat.Dabamf said:
Typically the way it works out is that karma winds up pairing you with people of like personality *shrug*.
You"re trying to find a logical reason not to cheat and so is she. You don"t have the ability to not think like that and ergo you"re not going to attract someone like that either most of the time.
Because you"re thinking like this chances are you"re going to be with people who do have the propensity to cheat because monogamy is one of those fundamental values that most of the time is shared between any couple with a meaningful relationship.
Basically have fun being in dishonest relationships as long as you"re dishonest.
This is exactly the type of response I was looking for, especially the last part. Thanks, and respect for arguing on the terms I laid out.Alcestis said:
For the record, the condition of "0 chance of getting caught" is fair game to challenge as impossible. Any of my premises or inferences are.
So... You make a statement, Alcestis basically says "you"re stupid" and your response is "thanks."Dabamf said:
Was that really all you needed to hear?
The irony here being that the quote is all spelled perfectly, and misspell does not have a hyphen.Mustaffi said:
Yes, all I really need to hear is someone provide useful feedback to the exact question that I ask in a reasoned manner. That"s nonsense right? I"m not interested in getting into philosophical "lifeboat" scenarios (well what if it"s a halloween party and I"m wearing a mask and forgot my ID at home, etc etc), so I left the response at that.Incognitogamer said:
She also answered a lot more than I asked in the way she approached the question and the things that were included in the answer. I"m equally as interested in the way someone chooses to approach a moral question as I am in the rational behind their answer.
I would just like to point out this kind of view point will limit your actual relationship potential in the long run. Sure it will increase the number of relationships up front, but it"s a really limiting factor on the quality of them in the end.Dabamf said:
Things are constantly changing, including how people feel about other people and the roles people play in their life at different times. If you really respect a girl and are interested her as a person it would be stupid to say "well, your life and your interests don"t line up with mine at this exact moment; so even if in the future our lives happen to line up in a way that is favoring us being together I am not going to be open to that possibility."
The fact is you are the back up role for a reason that is probably pretty reasonable and doesn"t have much to do with you as a person at all- IE the past experiences the girl already had with the person above you on the totem pole that you never had the opportunity to match in frequency or importance due to situational circumstances that have nothing to do with either one of you as a person and only the random circumstances that led up to the current point in both of your lives.
Generally if I find out I"m a "backup" I"ll just take it for what it is: A girl letting me know she is interested in me but due to fairness (aka dibs) sake, or moral reasons, she isn"t able to pursue a relationship more actively. This is something I"ve experienced from girls who have straight up let me know they liked me but wouldn"t be willing to pursue anything due to circumstances. If I found out I was a girl"s back up and she wasn"t letting me know that then I would probably walk away, but more due to the shadiness and manipulative implications that would be hinted at from her trying to hide it than the practical aspect of just valuing her past experiences and the roles they contribute to her life.
I can report more failure, if it gets the thread back to interesting stories.Tarrant220 said:
First I went out with some friends, some bailed and we ended up having a double date. Mine was boring, my friend was boring towards his date. At around 4 am or so we all went to his place and started watching movies and I kinda took over his date at his place, sitting on his couch, covered in his blanket. I think she FZed him anyway.
No idea why I did it, usually I stick to bros before hos. I blame being drunk and bored. I tend to do stupid things when I am bored. I dont even care about her or want to see her again. Maybe after the recent failures it simply felt good because it was easy.
Also havent talked to him for over a week now, but we see each other soon and then Ill try to fix it.
Week later I went on a date with someone from my university. She is quite impressive. Looks I"d say 8, a better haircut would get her another point. She is doing lots of sports and has an amazing body. However I do like her because she is very intelligent and talented. (I am rarely impressed by peoples intelligence)
Everything went perfect. In the end she didnt want to part and suggested we have a drink somewhere. Another two hours of talking followed.
We saw each other again to party on the weekend, yet somehow all my friends managed to stay sober and I was the only one being drunk and I guess I kinda made a bad impression that night. Because she didnt contact me since then.
Biggest problem is that I genuinely like her. I simply cannot play her by the book. Well, most likely I could, but I dont want to.
And finally the dramaqueen. It is still weird, but our relationship somehow makes sense now. It is more than just friends, but there is simply no sexual tension at all. Its like a substitute for a real relationship without the sweets.
Personally I like it. I am happy hanging out with her, do not want more myself and now that she stopped the constant flirting/hitting on me there is no confusion/drama. (I told her to stop or our friendship is over; felt kinda extreme but it worked)
Zehnpai
Molten Core Raider
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What Sutekh said. Obviously is you lack integrity, dignity, honor and respect then what the fuck do you care if she leaves? From a purely logical standpoint being in a relationship in the first place at all is pretty goddamn irrational. In your hypothetical situation where disease is not an issue and you feel no guilt or shame it would be far easier to just pay for sex. Cheaper in the long run, no legal commitments, far more convenient and who doesn"t enjoy variety?
