Girls who broke your heart thread

ham

ham

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Well there"s your problem, you"re on PoF. Pretty much a breeding ground for the ugliest people on Earth.

Maybe it was just my zip code, but the one time I signed in to it there wasn"t a single girl I"d be interested in. Sure some are good looking enough to sleep with, but I"m not trying to be "Mystery" or anything here.
 
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Bronyaur_foh

shitlord
0
0
Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
Long time reader and never really posted but always tried to read this thread. Thought I"d ask you boys for some advice.

I"ve been seeing my gf for 8 months now, we"re both early 20"s and at university. We"ve had a very destructive relationship with me never really trusting her for the first few months due to her wild nature and her admitting that when we first got togeather she wasn"t over her ex. For the first 3-4 months we"d usually have an intense 2-3 weeks spending all day every day togeather (god bless the lack of lectures on my course) and then have an intense fight and split up for a few days then repeat the cycle. Then in january we split up for 3 weeks (longest time by far) and she visited her friend at uni and slept with a boy she saw on a night out that she used to hook up with she was younger. It really rocked her as she rung me at 4am crying and then at 9am when she woke up and eventually told me a few days later and spent days crying about how it made her realise she"s been crazy panicing about how serious our relationship is. After taking a week or so to work it over in my head I decided that as we had split up a few weeks prior to it I should stop justifying it as cheating and work on overcoming my jealousy. Ever since then we"ve been fine with her actually working at our problems instead of bailing every 2-3 weeks for a few days and then missing me.

We have a very strong connection and can spend days just lying in bed talking and laughing without getting bored. We said I love you really early on, with her saying it first but one thing that always stood out is how she would never back down, even when it"s her thats been drunk and nasty (not getting with anyone else but just demanding and spiteful) and it will always be me that looks for the solution as I think I"m very afraid of loosing her as she"s been my only serious relationship in the past few years, whereas she who gets lots of attention has had lots of relationships but none that have lasted as long as me and her.

But you guys get the picture about us - I"m very forgiving and let her get away with everything, while she has previously been very demanding and nonchalant about splitting up until she"s cooled off. I"ve been quite anxious about our relationship while she will usually be take it or leave it, except for when I get girls interested in me and she"s been really jealous. I shouldn"t do her down though as she is amazing and we have the most fun togeather, and our sex life is amazing with both of us reaching heights we"ve never experienced before with someone else.

It was our end of year summer ball on saturday night and I brought her dress and ticket (I know, I"m a mug. But she didn"t have any money and I did). We got really drunk before hand and had a bit of an argument as I told a bad joke and she felt belittled infront of her friends. We then argued a lot inside the ball. After that some guy got mouthy with her and ended up pushing her a good half metre so I got involved and did the angry man thing (pushing him, telling him to apologise and never touch my girlfriend again). After that she got pissed as she felt she could"ve handled it. The night ended with us having a HUGE argument on her doorstep with me shouting so loud the whole street probably woke up about how she treated me like shit all night after I paid for everything and treated her amazing etc.

Since that night she"s said I scared her, she felt threatened and doesn"t want to be with someone like that. She"s admitted she was badly behaved and didn"t treat me right on the night but that she can"t stand for that as it"s happened before (when she told me about the other guy she slept with we went on a night out and I ended up punching my bed at 4am when she was trying to explain to me why it made her realise things). She"s said she wants to take a break over the summer and start back up in September when I will have had time to prove to her I won"t get that angry again. We"re seeing each other on weds night - friday night as we have to go back and clean our respective student houses and we"ll be the only 2 people in town.

I"ve explained to her how I see this as her just trying to use the summer as time to get over her feelings for me and go wild getting with other guys (as she has done to all her other bfs straight after they break up). I"ve tried to explain to her that I feel she"s just found a problem in me for once and now gives up even though despite all her problems in the past that I stood by her for.

Basically I"m wondering what you guys see as the best course of action for me - do I spend the 2 days we"re togeather trying to reconcile and show her how much fun we have togeather and that while she is right to be angry at me for getting so mad and raging that we need to move past it with me making it up to her. Or do I say yea, lets have this break if u want it and try to stick to it (something I"ll find very hard due to lack of anything to do until July 1st when I start work full time until the end of August). I"m afraid of losing what I see as the biggest connection I"ve ever had with someone both sexually and personality wise. I"ve loved our relationship and it"s been the envy of people who don"t know our problems, but I"m scared if I say yea fine that"s it she won"t react in a regretful coming back way and will embrace the freedom and that will be that.

I"m not saying I"m looking for my future wife, but I could honestly see us staying togeather long term. But I could also be deluding myself and we"ve just been 2 people addicted to the drama and great sex. Any advice on what I should do would be great thanks
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Sounds like this girl thrives on drama. In America, we would call her a bitch (I think "slag" is the term you may be familiar with). A girl that fucks another guy then calls you at 0400 is bad news. Also, you say you fight all the time; its not like you two have bills to pay or a life together, what are you fighting about? Do you want to fight all the time? If you don"t, why are you with someone who does? You"re young; cut your losses before you get her pregnant or something.
 
Eomer

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
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Ham n Cheese said:
Well there"s your problem, you"re on PoF. Pretty much a breeding ground for the ugliest people on Earth.

Maybe it was just my zip code, but the one time I signed in to it there wasn"t a single girl I"d be interested in. Sure some are good looking enough to sleep with, but I"m not trying to be "Mystery" or anything here.
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For about the dozenth time, it"s a very, very regional website. There"s plenty of good looking chicks on it around here, but like I said because it"s not a paid website the vast majority aren"t serious about it.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
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Dabamf said:
That"s what every hopeless guy does when he meets a hot girl and his personality disappears behind his nerves; he asks questions. Therefore, hot girls are conditioned to find guys like that boring.

However, girls who don"t get as much attention as they want (i.e. mediocre looking ones) love to talk about themselvesto a person who himself is interesting.

Regardless, being interesting yourself is priority #1. That involves talking about yourself and your experiences, usually the more unique or unusual the better. I usually ask questions as a leeway into my own stories. I"ll ask a question then guide her response by sort of answering it for myself, then guide her answer. For example, if I ask "what"s the most interesting place you"ve seen?" a girl who has traveled a lot can talk about many things and I can then relate my experiences. I always talk more about my observations than the details of the place because people are more interested in feelings/perceptions than they are fact. Then I can encourage her to talk about her perceptions of what she had previously mentioned and she instantly gets more involved in the conversation because I gave her an interesting topic and areasonfor talking about it (one that doesn"t exist if you just ask her a list of questions).

In short, you have to show your personality before rolling into questions because without context or purpose, no one wants to answer any questions about themselves. The exception to this is that 1% of the population that we all know that have some magic skill will people that makes others instantly comfortable with them. They don"t ask questions in The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread though so we can safely assume this guy is not one of those people.
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So basically you agree with me 100%. But are also a narcissist. Thanks for your support. He was asking how to have a conversation, not how to listen to her talk, I didn"t deem it necessary to type a paragraph on the obvious.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

Avatar of War Slayer
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16,408
This is not woman related, its job/unemployment related. I have posted about it in here before, so hoping someone can help.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Not going to go into huge details, but my previous employer appealed the decision by the state to award me unemployment.

Today was my hearing and the 3 incidents that my employer claims was the reason I was dismissed were discussed in detail.

The first incident was kind of my fault. Mainly because I lacked reliable help and I got behind. It was my job, I was supposed to do it and I just got behind, though I was completely caught back up and ahead by the middle of Feb., but I was not let go until a month later.

The second incident was with a customer. I called and reported the event to my Boss" assistant (which was well within company policy). He lied about what actually happened. When questioned, he answered with "I dont recall" or "I dont remember it like that".

The third incident was a mechanical error. I reported the incident to my Boss on a Fri, then to her assistant on Sat, Weds and then to her and the owner of the company on the next Fri and Sat. My Boss" assistant said the only call he recieved was on Fri of the incident and didnt speak to me again until the next Fri. My Boss denied ever talking to me.

Im not familiar with how this stuff works. This is the first time I have ever filed for unemployment, so I am not sure how the hearing officer makes a decision, but I am honestly worried. If anyone has any insight to this process, please contact me or PM me.

My dad used to do this kind of stuff and he told me to just tell the truth, but their lies seemed so much more convincing.
 
Zehnpai

Zehnpai

Molten Core Raider
399
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Only a limited amount of experience with it personally but I had a similar situation when I was 19. Employer started twisting facts and denying notices that I had even made in writing. In the end it was basically my word against theirs and the court sided with me. The burden of proof basically lies with them and unless they have you on tape jerking off into the coffee machine you should be okay.
 
D

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
Sutekh said:
So basically you agree with me 100%. But are also a narcissist. Thanks for your support. He was asking how to have a conversation, not how to listen to her talk, I didn"t deem it necessary to type a paragraph on the obvious.
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Actually "ask questions till one sticks" and "talk about your experiences and encourage her to join" are not at all the same. Thanks for playing though, and poor troll attempt.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
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Actually, ask questions about the so a conversation starts, is the exact same thing. You just have trouble comprehending anything unless it"s spelled out for you in bright colorful magnet letters on a refrigerator.
 
J

Jimmycarterwuwu

Silver Knight of the Realm
51
11
I used PoF awhile ago with some success but I look at PoF as a tool of several you can use to meet gals. Every other day I would message one or two, pretend I gave a shit about their profile, then proceeded to college tail, then some night life. You would have to be ass ugly not to hook up using those three methods on a weekly basis.Or even a steady girl.

On that note, the best quote from the I love you man movie, "Hooking up is easy, finding a platonic male friend....not so much"
 
V

Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher_foh

shitlord
0
0
Thanks for the advice boys. I"ll try and take it on board. Since I posted we"ve chatted both nights and last night she was firstly adament that we shouldn"t see each other and has cancelled our plans to see each other on thurs and friday (saying she"s too ill, as she was ill when we last saw each other. She has since been talking about seeing her friend for lunch on thurs so obviously a lie to some extent). We"re now meant to be seeing each other on monday or tuesday when I"m down that way for the last time this summer but I"m not sure if that"ll happen. I know I"m making it all up to her but I do feel like I don"t really have any leverage in this as she is very good at shutting off her feelings and carrying on regardless until it"s worked.

She said last night that is so hard for her (crying as well) and that she doesn"t know what to do, but today hasn"t answered my text or call (we"ve spoken every night at around 10-11pm for months, tonight being the first night we havn"t). I know I"m not really doing what I should as the man in the relationship, and this is so fucked up that almost everyones reponse would be to stop trying so hard and let it go but it"s my first experience of it and I"m not really feeling like that"s the best course of action (I know I"m probably blinded to it).

Thanks a lot for the advice tho, I appreciate it.
 
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Bronyaur_foh

shitlord
0
0
Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
Thanks for the advice boys. I"ll try and take it on board. Since I posted we"ve chatted both nights and last night she was firstly adament that we shouldn"t see each other and has cancelled our plans to see each other on thurs and friday (saying she"s too ill, as she was ill when we last saw each other. She has since been talking about seeing her friend for lunch on thurs so obviously a lie to some extent). We"re now meant to be seeing each other on monday or tuesday when I"m down that way for the last time this summer but I"m not sure if that"ll happen. I know I"m making it all up to her but I do feel like I don"t really have any leverage in this as she is very good at shutting off her feelings and carrying on regardless until it"s worked.

She said last night that is so hard for her (crying as well) and that she doesn"t know what to do, but today hasn"t answered my text or call (we"ve spoken every night at around 10-11pm for months, tonight being the first night we havn"t). I know I"m not really doing what I should as the man in the relationship, and this is so fucked up that almost everyones reponse would be to stop trying so hard and let it go but it"s my first experience of it and I"m not really feeling like that"s the best course of action (I know I"m probably blinded to it).

Thanks a lot for the advice tho, I appreciate it.
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The "on again, off again" nature of this relationship is not healthy. You need stop all contact with this girl and move on. It will be hard but for the best.
 
D

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
she...has cancelled our plans to see each other on thurs and friday...a lie....

I don"t really have any leverage in this...

I know I"m not really doing what I should as the man in the relationship

almost everyones reponse would be to stop trying so hard and let it go

but it"smy first experience of it...(I know I"m probably blinded to it).
.
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Cut out the unnecessary verbiage and this is what you said. I wanted to include some positive things too, in order to be balanced, but there weren"t any.

Everyone"s been in this situation. You like a girl more than she likes you. If you break up, you want her to at least acknowledge it emotionally--you want her to feel bad or suffer a little bit so that you know you had SOME impact on her, but you think she"ll probably move on just fine. And that"s the most important reason to break up: you think she"ll probably move on just fine. That means...wait for it...she"s just not that into you. "But but we talk every night blah blah" just means that she wants that closeness and intimacy withsomeone, and you"re it until she discovers a guy she is really into.

If you break up now, your decision, in a year you will look back and be proud of yourself for doing a difficult thing and preserving your dignity. If you hang around until she tosses you aside once and for all, a year later you will look back and realize you probably lost just a little bit of that pride or confidence in yourself, and wish you hadn"t let it get to that. I know this because I"ve been in both situations, as have probably most people here.
 
W

Whyme_foh

shitlord
0
0
Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
Thanks for the advice boys. I"ll try and take it on board. Since I posted we"ve chatted both nights and last night she was firstly adament that we shouldn"t see each other and has cancelled our plans to see each other on thurs and friday (saying she"s too ill, as she was ill when we last saw each other. She has since been talking about seeing her friend for lunch on thurs so obviously a lie to some extent). We"re now meant to be seeing each other on monday or tuesday when I"m down that way for the last time this summer but I"m not sure if that"ll happen. I know I"m making it all up to her but I do feel like I don"t really have any leverage in this as she is very good at shutting off her feelings and carrying on regardless until it"s worked.

She said last night that is so hard for her (crying as well) and that she doesn"t know what to do, but today hasn"t answered my text or call (we"ve spoken every night at around 10-11pm for months, tonight being the first night we havn"t). I know I"m not really doing what I should as the man in the relationship, and this is so fucked up that almost everyones reponse would be to stop trying so hard and let it go but it"s my first experience of it and I"m not really feeling like that"s the best course of action (I know I"m probably blinded to it).

Thanks a lot for the advice tho, I appreciate it.
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My advice to you is get out of that "relationship." The girl has issues and you were just unlucky enough to hook a crazy on your first cast. She using you to feed her own emotional needs. Real, healthy relationships are not that intense, not in that way anyway. I"m sure the sex is great and all, but that"s not exactly hard to find. Lick your wounds, learn your lessons and get the hell out before she dumps you like a bad habit (which will probably be any day now). You"re infinitely more well-adjusted than she is, and you are wasting your time trying to manage her crazy.
 
lost

lost

<Bronze Donator>
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Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
Long time reader and never really posted but always tried to read this thread. Thought I"d ask you boys for some advice.

blah blah blah
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Do you really need us to tell you what to do? You seem like a smart person, read what you wrote, this doesnt sound like a fun relationship or a girl that appreciates you. You made the mistake of pussying up and letting her get away with shit, forgiving her, paying for it all which allowed her to feel like she can treat you however she wants and get away with it (cause she has).

Things won"t change, she"s immature and isnt ready for the relationship you want. It might seem hard to realize now but once you get single and start meeting otehr girls you"ll realize there are many other girls out there that will treat you a lot better, the way you should be treated and appreciate the things you do, not be gold diggers. They"re few and far between but they exist.

I"d suggest the older girls if you can, as 18-20 are usually pretty immature/possible whore phase based on experience.. but yeah ask yourself if you like the way she treats you.. sounds like shit and like you"re desperate.. doesnt sound fun and like you"re settling less cause of your feeling/fear of being alone..

Move on, get rid of her you"ll thank yourself and she"ll respect you more for dropping her like a bad habit, you"ll have the upperhand and wont have to go through bullshit liek that, let some other guy deal with it she needs to grow up.

Your first mistake was dating a girl who recently broke up with her ex (or wasnt over him), then the second was her fucking a guy.. what the next night after you went on a "break" ? What kind of indication is that, certainly doesnt indicate that she"s girlfriend material.. You let her get away with too much, you can forgive them once sure but thats more than enough, after that you"re a doormat and things will only get worse.. realize it. Put your foot down next time.
 
lost

lost

<Bronze Donator>
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Eomer said:
I just found that in general virtually all convos I had with chicks on PoF went nowhere. Maybe they can hold conversations face to face, but online it"s terrible. I would typically try to move it to a phone call or meeting ASAP for that reason, otherwise it just piddles out. You can ask them extremely direct and obvious questions and they"ll give you a two word response or not even that. And that"s even when using the same methods you spoke of, asking a question and somewhat answering it yourself etc.

I think it"s because 95% of people are functionally illiterate. And/or 95% of people on PoF are just fucking around with not much intention of actually meeting anyone.
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Dunno if you ever read bodybuilding.com but theres this guy that trolls on PoF, and its pretty interesting, of course he uses fat chicks, but he has some pretty good lines and has actually hit up on some attractive girls with the liens too (doesnt hurt that he"s pretty cut).. He"s pretty blunt with msot of the girls, straight up, if they dont like it he passively says fuck you in his own words and finds anotehr girl.. amazing how many chicks will take what he says and then ask for more and sex etc

Check out my POF profile - I"m the ultimatebroski - Bodybuilding.com Forums

If anything its entertainment if you"re bored, but its also a good science experiment.
 
lost

lost

<Bronze Donator>
3,223
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Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
Thanks for the advice boys. I"ll try and take it on board. Since I posted we"ve chatted both nights and last night she was firstly adament that we shouldn"t see each other and has cancelled our plans to see each other on thurs and friday (saying she"s too ill, as she was ill when we last saw each other. She has since been talking about seeing her friend for lunch on thurs so obviously a lie to some extent). We"re now meant to be seeing each other on monday or tuesday when I"m down that way for the last time this summer but I"m not sure if that"ll happen. I know I"m making it all up to her but I do feel like I don"t really have any leverage in this as she is very good at shutting off her feelings and carrying on regardless until it"s worked.

She said last night that is so hard for her (crying as well) and that she doesn"t know what to do, but today hasn"t answered my text or call (we"ve spoken every night at around 10-11pm for months, tonight being the first night we havn"t). I know I"m not really doing what I should as the man in the relationship, and this is so fucked up that almost everyones reponse would be to stop trying so hard and let it go but it"s my first experience of it and I"m not really feeling like that"s the best course of action (I know I"m probably blinded to it).

Thanks a lot for the advice tho, I appreciate it.
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She"s still in control here, I dont feel you"ve really grasped the advice given or seen the position you"re in. She"s got the leash, you"re the dog. All I saw in this post was "she this she that she said this so we"re doing that".. all wrong man all wrong. We want to know about what YOU want, now what she wants, she she she, look at your post and see that.. now ask yourself what about me?

First you know the person who dumps the other person generally moves on faster, if you let her take control and drop you while you sit in the corner and quietly and passively agree with her then you"ll be left in the dust.. psychology ftw

Second, I have a belief after reading threads like this and goign through my 3 year relationship, you have to have a fucked up/failed long relationship to finally learn thigns about relationship/women/what to recognize and avoid.. so hopefully this relationship will have taught you that once you are a few months out of this relationship and see all the shitty things you allowed happen and how you will IMMEDIATELY recognize that shit next time based on your experience and avoid that girl.

Third, I wouldnt trust a god damn thing she says. I had my ex saying the same shit you said whenever we"d be on the verge of breaking up, the bitches dont know what they want and its all a front to make you think they care/feel bad for them. I highly doubt she"s all sad and this is going "hard" for her.. why because if it was then why hasn"t she talekd to you? The silence is a big indicator its just a fake front to make her feel better by convincing you she does care and feel bad, in reality she"s probably out distracting herself with other guys and having fun while keeping you on the leash thinking shes pouting away in her bedroom.

Ignore your damn emotions, put some friend of yours in your shoes and ask yourself what would you tell him, read your posts as if you were an outsider and smack yourself.. she"s running the show.. this relationship isnt going to get better and you need to look out for yourself, dont let her decide whats going to happen or when shes going to reply to you or when you two will see each other.. take the control away from her, cut her off and tell her it"s over this wont work, theres no point in seeing each other later in the week (unless you have things of hers, or she has things of yours) and good luck in life peace out.. then begin your move on towards better mature girls.. you"re only going to be left hurting if you dont take control and let her walk on you keeping you in the corner until she has found someone to replace you to help her move on faster..

/end rant

Man up, tell yourself you dont deserve that shit you wont tolerate it, drop her and dont think twice. Ignore your damn feelings and use your common sense, you"ve already given her enough chances, how much more bullshit do you need to go through before you decide enough is enough this relationship isnt getting better and will go no where?

Hope I helped.
 
Eomer

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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272
haha I only read the first post or two, but I like that guy:

I just messaged some fat girl. One of her interests was actually f***ing taco bell. I told her she was looking fine as hell and that Taco Bell is the ultimate bulk food
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I chatted with some decent chicks on PoF and that"s how I met Xerxes, so I don"t think the site is useless or anything. But like I said since there"s no barrier for entry I"d say the majority of girls on it are just doing it cause their friends told them to or out of casual interest, not because they"re actually interested in meeting someone. But that"s just my opinion I guess.
 
C

chu_foh

shitlord
0
0
Eomer said:
I just found that in general virtually all convos I had with chicks on PoF went nowhere. Maybe they can hold conversations face to face, but online it"s terrible. I would typically try to move it to a phone call or meeting ASAP for that reason, otherwise it just piddles out. You can ask them extremely direct and obvious questions and they"ll give you a two word response or not even that. And that"s even when using the same methods you spoke of, asking a question and somewhat answering it yourself etc.

I think it"s because 95% of people are functionally illiterate. And/or 95% of people on PoF are just fucking around with not much intention of actually meeting anyone.
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Two word responses mean they"re not interested.
 
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