Girls who broke your heart thread

I will never understand women........

Haha, thanks Lost for the link. That guy is hilarious.

I went out with new girl at work on Wednesday. She"s a polar opposite to me: ultra social, perky/energetic, loves dancing, hates physical exertion, doesn"t drink (allergic). Where as I"m really calm and laid back, not overly outgoing, hate dancing, love physical challenges, and drink on a regular basic. But I"m always interested in people that have a complete lack of self-consciousness and just do whatever they want. And she"s a pretty interesting and confident person. So I"m gonna explore it a bit more. I said she was really smart, but I"m getting the impression that she"s a study hard book smart kinda person, and might not actually be intelligent.

The really cute girl at work that speaks no English, I haven"t really talked to her. We always exchange a sort of semi-intimate smile, but she gets super awkward sometimes and does this little giggle. Korean girls are so hilarious, I wish I could video tape some of the mannerisms they have. I"m sure most here have seen that kpop "Gee" video (if not, go fucking watch it now on youtube) and noticed all the cutesy weird shit they do. Well most Korean girls strive to do those little mannerisms. There"s even a word in Korean that I learned for it: ?? (ay-kyo), which roughly translates to "charm."

I haven"t contacted the other girl, that works at the uni where I started taking classes again, but I plan to soon. I want to start out with many options so I don"t get tied up into one and reliant on it.

lost said:

Dunno if you ever read bodybuilding.com but theres this guy that trolls on PoF, and its pretty interesting, of course he uses fat chicks, but he has some pretty good lines and has actually hit up on some attractive girls with the liens too (doesnt hurt that he"s pretty cut).. He"s pretty blunt with msot of the girls, straight up, if they dont like it he passively says fuck you in his own words and finds anotehr girl.. amazing how many chicks will take what he says and then ask for more and sex etc

Check out my POF profile - I"m the ultimatebroski - Bodybuilding.com Forums

If anything its entertainment if you"re bored, but its also a good science experiment.

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omg... I started reading and cannot stop. At page 38 now and it keeps getting better:

Drunkninja - I hate to do this but I may have to report your picture for being too damn sexy Yes its a corny line but I enjoy it.

Asian - Yeah that was pretty corny

Drunkninja - Haha, you no enjoy. I actually copies your picture and ran it through the My Heritage database and you look like my favorite celebrity.

Asian - Who is that?

Drunkninja - Lassie you ****ing bitch

lost said:

rofl yeah man i read em all but so many i dont remember, hahaha

let this one boggle your mind:

Rather interesting message I got on POF. What would you do? (pics) (serious) - Bodybuilding.com Forums

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ROFLMAO

You had me at "I" but lost me at "transexual".

I am trying so hard not to bust out laughing in my office, god damn that line is epic.

lost said:

rofl yeah man i read em all but so many i dont remember, hahaha

let this one boggle your mind:

Rather interesting message I got on POF. What would you do? (pics) (serious) - Bodybuilding.com Forums

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Somebody told me you have a boyfriend that looks like a girlfriend...

epic

Was that the establish dominance round? What a loser.

Just to end the story really - I went down to Uni to grab the rest of my stuff and move out properly on saturday. Sunday night - tuesday I was meant to be seeing the ex to get all my stuff and hang out for abit. She calls on saturday night to say she"s picked up an extra shift at work for the monday so can now only see me on tuesday. I said that isn"t OK with me and that I"ll see her sunday night for a few hours then head home as I didn"t want to hang around until tuesday in a town with none of my friends in as theyd all moved home. She refused this and got really childish so I told her I"d knock on her door sunday night for my stuff, if she wanted her mum to give it to me then that would be fine by me. She called me back an hour later to apologise for how she"d acted and to ask if we could see each other for a few hours on sunday, I accepted as I did want to see her and have a nice goodbye and perhaps abit of honesty and closure.

I went there tonight, picked her up from work and we went to hers so she could change - she"d text me during the day saying how she"d love to "go for food and then snuggle" so that"s what we did. Until she out of the blue tells me she wants to goto bed early as she"s had a few late nights (4am"ers as she"s been calling me around 3.30am each time) and is shattered. I"m puzzled as she"s been saying she loves me so much etc etc over dinner. She"s kissing me and staring at me over dinner and is talking about how much she loves me which had me kinda ready to spend the night there for some good break up sex and then head home. We get to hers around 8.20pm and she says she wants me to go at 9pm so she can have a quick chat with her mum and then goto bed. I got abit pissed as I"d wanted to see her for longer but let it go. She was now really reluctant to kiss me and would only hug etc for brief periods and eventually was standing by the door at 8.55pm to usher me out. She walked me to my car and we said our goodbyes, she asked if she could come and see me for a few days later in the month as she can"t stand not seeing me and I said I"d think about it as we"d have to arrange the dates soon.

On my journey home I realised she"d got a text during dinner from one of her main friends who she"s been going to the pub with every night for the past 4 nights and then I started to wonder if maybe thats why she all of a sudden wanted such an early night and that she was so inclined to get me out of the house so she could get ready and go out. I very much doubt it was so she could have another man over due to how she is atm and that from reading her phone (stealthly I may add!) she didn"t have any signs of that on there. I text her on my way home and basically outlined what I suspected and how I"d be really pissed if the last time we saw each other she cut it short just so she could go to the pub with her friends like she does every other night. I got home around 1.15am, logged onto facebook and saw she"d posted on a mutual friends wall around 12.30am so I"m assuming I was right and she did go out as she had claimed she wanted to be in bed by 9.30pm.

So there we go, my apologies for not taking your advice and I like to think I"ll learn from this and be less easy going and a bit less of a door mat in my next relationship. But that"s how this story ends I guess. I understand I allowed her to act like this by being so submissive during the relationship, but I thought she"d have more genuine affection and care to enjoy our last night togeather. Ahh well, there we go!

No matter what kind of advice people give here it won"t help, because the best way to learn is from your mistakes

Sutekh said:

No matter what kind of advice people give here it won"t help, because the best way to learn is from your mistakes

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I agree wholeheartedly with this. Watching other people"s drama here can be interesting because other people will say and do things you wouldn"t expect, and you can imagine yourself in situations totally out of your element, but in the end it"s inevitable that you"ll make mistakes. A message board can"t give you that knowledge.

Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:

She calls on saturday night to say she"s picked up an extra shift at work for the monday so can now only see me on tuesday. I said that isn"t OK with me and that I"ll see her sunday night for a few hours then head home as I didn"t want to hang around until tuesday in a town with none of my friends in as theyd all moved home. She refused this and got really childish so I told her I"d knock on her door sunday night for my stuff, if she wanted her mum to give it to me then that would be fine by me. She called me back an hour later to apologise for how she"d acted and to ask if we could see each other for a few hours on sunday

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I love this. Posts like this, if I even had 1% influence over the change, reinforce why I post here. Isn"t it kind of hilarious how she is so willing to cast you aside when she thinks you"ll take it with your head bowed, but when you grow some balls and tell her what is and isn"t ok with you she does a complete 180?

Now granted the end of the story didn"t really go fantastically. I"d guess that you reverted back to your normal self (and why wouldn"t you, you just started standing up for yourself, it takes time) and that"s why the lovey dovey shit at dinner turned into "you gotta get out by 9pm." At that point, you shoulda probably said, "actually I think I"m gonna head out now," packed up your shit and left. But one step at a time.

But anyway, thanks for the update and I give you a lot of credit for laying down the law with her. It"s a process that you can"t perfect in one day, but it will come eventually if you are dedicated to it. I love seeing guys go from pushover to acting like a man that respects himself and isn"t afraid to express his desires. One of my really good friends from college recently started doing the same thing and when he was telling me the story about it, I got all giddy like a 5 year old.

Sutekh said:

No matter what kind of advice people give here it won"t help, because the best way to learn is from your mistakes

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That"s like saying having a baseball coach won"t help because the best way to improve is by playing baseball.

Progress and change take time. I think his recent post is direct evidence that advice heredoes(or, at least, can) help.

Dabamf said:

That"s like saying having a baseball coach won"t help because the best way to improve is by playing baseball.

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Considering some of the coaches we have around here...

Dabamf said:

At that point, you shoulda probably said, "actually I think I"m gonna head out now," packed up your shit and left. But one step at a time.

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I thought the same when reading it. When she makes changes to plans you dont like, then make your own changes that she doesnt like to show her that she cannot fuck with you like that.

When you realize why this works you might feel bad about doing it, but in the end its not only in your, but also in her best interest. It is conditioning, like training a dog: whenever she makes some change like that, she will not like the outcome and therefore stop making changes because they dont pay off.
For example my current girl is used to getting up early and usually gets very tired around 11 pm because of this (very tired means she can barely keep her eyes open). If its late and she tells me she is too tired for sex, it is okay. But sometimes she did start it and ignite my inner flame... and then realize its late and shes tired and only wants to cuddle now.
Whenever that happened I simply refused to cuddle or did cuddle but refuse to kiss... I dont get my way, then she doesnt get her way either. It worked like a charm without ever talking about it. Her brain simply connected the dots between "start foreplay and refuse sex" and "feel bad because he keeps his distance". No talk, no hoping she will remember it, no making rules or deals or asking for her understanding of male instincts.

Dont tell her what you like or dont like, what you want or dont want. Talking is bad and doesnt work. If you dont want her to act in a certain way, dont tell her if you can avoid it, make her feel that you dont take her shit.

Inconsiderable said:

I thought the same when reading it. When she makes changes to plans you dont like, then make your own changes that she doesnt like to show her that she cannot fuck with you like that.

When you realize why this works you might feel bad about doing it, but in the end its not only in your, but also in her best interest. It is conditioning, like training a dog: whenever she makes some change like that, she will not like the outcome and therefore stop making changes because they dont pay off.
For example my current girl is used to getting up early and usually gets very tired around 11 pm because of this (very tired means she can barely keep her eyes open). If its late and she tells me she is too tired for sex, it is okay. But sometimes she did start it and ignite my inner flame... and then realize its late and shes tired and only wants to cuddle now.
Whenever that happened I simply refused to cuddle or did cuddle but refuse to kiss... I dont get my way, then she doesnt get her way either. It worked like a charm without ever talking about it. Her brain simply connected the dots between "start foreplay and refuse sex" and "feel bad because he keeps his distance". No talk, no hoping she will remember it, no making rules or deals or asking for her understanding of male instincts.

Dont tell her what you like or dont like, what you want or dont want. Talking is bad and doesnt work. If you dont want her to act in a certain way, dont tell her if you can avoid it, make her feel that you dont take her shit.

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And when she goes to the bathroom on the toilet, make sure you shower her with praise, or perhaps give her, her toy with peanut butter on the inside.

But no really, if anyone here thinks they are anything close to a sports coach. You obviously have never played on any formal sports program. Not to mention in sports you"re not dealing with people who are in "love". The advice given here is almost never followed until someone gets hurt, THEN it helps. Then when ever realizes, oh they were right, maybe I should start listening, that"s when it comes in handy. But before that, peopleneedto go out and get hurt before they can start learning. That"s just the cycle of life. Having some woman crush your heart will make you more mature, respectful, and ultimately make women want you more because you get the fairy tale bullshit out of your head.