You see, by drawing analogy to sports, wherein a person must learn on his own yet can and does benefit from guidance, I am not actually callingmyselfa sports coach. I understand your confusion though. My 10-year old ESL students only recently learned what an analogy is.
Girls who broke your heart thread
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Brad2770
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Read that whole damned thread. Learned a lot and laughed like crazy. I am going to have to say that it is a MUST read.lost said:
Best part by far:
Drunkninja - Knock knock
Jfly - who"s there lol
Drunkninja - Girl who is listed as average
Drunkninja - I said GIRL WHO IS LISTED AS AVERAGE!!!!!
Jlfy - Just go on
Drunkninja - Girl who is listed as average but has giant hams for arms and whose fat ass is ****ing up my search results. Keep it in the BBW fatty!
Jfly - Ass!
Sutekh
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Not a very good one at that, that"s the second time he"s tried the LOL MY 10 YEAR OLD STUDENTS NO BETTER.The Ancient said:
Little does he know that his analogy is moronic, for a few simple reasons.
1. People aren"t going to learn from your advice, you can"t even get your life situated properly, I highly doubt anyone"s going to trust maybe the most important aspect of their life to people who cannot get their shit straight.
2. If someone does trust a decision like "LOL JUZ LEVE HER" from anonymous random people on the internet, the last of their problems is the relationship they"re in. Like I said before (which I"m sure you missed because it seems the more you stay in chinaland the more you fail at reading English) when the person actually gets hurt and realizes the advice people were giving is good, the advice goes from being a nagging voice in the back of their head. To perhaps something they may follow in the future before they get themselves in a hazardous situation.
3. He DIDN"T take the advice given here and thus the bitch ditched him at 9 and went and hung out with real men.
Not to be picky but she didn"t, I"ve since found out that she didn"t go out afterall. Don"t wanna defend her or anything, but I jumped the gun on that
Brad2770
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Then going by what you just said, Sutekh, I am confused as to why you continue to suggest I take my ex to court. I obviously do not take the advice given to me online, yet you go against what you are currently preaching and urge me to take her to court.
Which one is it?
By the way, I"m not denying that court is what is best for me when it comes to my ex, but my main reason I delay is because I do still have open visitation and when the ex and I are not bickering, I get to see my son a lot more than what I would probably end up with.
On a positive note, she is now married and living too far from her parents for them to watch him. I actually talked to her this morning and she is going to enroll him in daycare. On the nights she works late, I get to pick him up from daycare instead of the step dad, so that has snagged me 3 nights a week with him.
Which one is it?
By the way, I"m not denying that court is what is best for me when it comes to my ex, but my main reason I delay is because I do still have open visitation and when the ex and I are not bickering, I get to see my son a lot more than what I would probably end up with.
On a positive note, she is now married and living too far from her parents for them to watch him. I actually talked to her this morning and she is going to enroll him in daycare. On the nights she works late, I get to pick him up from daycare instead of the step dad, so that has snagged me 3 nights a week with him.
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Well as I said before which you obviously didnt fully pick up on is that you need to take control. You did it in the beginning and it got you results, do what you want not what she wants, its your life now not hers, shes moving out of your life and you"re trying to move on asap, when you did that she quickly reacted to your alphaness (pro!) and you got your way.. it wasnt until you gave in, picked her up and took her out to eat where you allowed her to be lovey dovey (her back in control) where you began to lose..Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
she lead you on to make herself feel better, you should learn to recognize this, she wasnt doing it necessarily because she has feelings for you but because she feels bad about the situation and does it to make herself feel better about what shes doing (i had an ex like this, actually talked about it few months later and she told me, plus i kind of saw it after not seeing her for awhile, it makes sense). to further reinforce this fact, she dropped you like a bad habit as soon as somethign better came along that night (aka your plans changed really fast and she went out to see another guy, it was obvious even before you said anything about a text during dinner)
she"s textbook so far.. very easy to read. you need to stop letting her make the moves, get your shit and move on.. how many times we need to tell you this you"re not listening, you had it at first then you let your feelings/dick get in the way and you ended up feeling hurt and out the door by 9pm.. then you do btch move and complain to her via texts which further puts her in more control and knowing she"s got you by the balls..
you got your shit right? you have no more reason to see her, no you dont schedule more dates, its over you"re not #1 anymore, youre #2, she only wants you in her life to make herself feel better havent you ever heard that? my ex dicked the shit out of me, fucked me over hardcore yet everytime we hang out she always says im like ehr best friend and wishes i"d be her friend, its a guilt thing and the way i look at it is if she can friend me then she"ll feel better about what she did to me, so i would point this idea out to you and why she"s trying to "keep" you in her life so she feels better..
you take charge, you got your shit, you"re going to be with your friends on tuesday and never see her again, dont talk to her if at all dont initiate contact with her if you cant handle not talking to her.. dont let her take control you take control, dont do her any favors, dont take her to dinner, dont drive her around etc.. im only saying this cause i doubt you"ll just up and drop her so in the idea that you dont up and drop her, dont do anythign for her, make her do the work.. if she doesnt then theres your proof that she doesnt value you as much as you value her..
good luck man i hope you can stick to not seeing her and finding a girl that will show you there are girls that want your attention and want to treat you nicely.. this girl doesnt know what she wants which is why she"s leading you on while going after other guys.. play by your rules, your desires and you"ll be good to go. i was in your shoes, i followed my ex like a puppy when she gave me the attention, she only further lead me on (yea well we did have sex so i got further than you everytime lmao) but in the end i was always #2 cause yes she would cut plans short to suddenly dissapear, it was nothing new just me being beta and not manning up.. but you learn after putting yourself through it enough, and when you take charge it only makes them chase more.
I actually have a funny story, its short but when I was around 17 I had an ex girlfriend (gf at the time) that I actually pulled this on, we were fighting at her house, I had just taken her to sarasota for the day and we had lunch at the columbia, rented waverunners and then came back, she was bitchign about somethin and said get the fuck out of my house, i said okay fine cya (exact words) and walked out the door..
5 minutes down the road her sister called me "hey uhh exgf wanted me to call you and ask you to come back, you should have heard her when you walked out the door she said omg sister (leaving names out) im so sad. why exgf? because i told him to leave and he actually left now im even more sad..
that quote/instance taught me a lot about mindfucking.
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haha glad you liekd the thread and agree, as funny as it is, its a great psychology lesson..Brad2770 said:Read that whole damned thread. Learned a lot and laughed like crazy. I am going to have to say that it is a MUST read.
Best part by far:
Drunkninja - Knock knock
Jfly - who"s there lol
Drunkninja - Girl who is listed as average
Drunkninja - I said GIRL WHO IS LISTED AS AVERAGE!!!!!
Jlfy - Just go on
Drunkninja - Girl who is listed as average but has giant hams for arms and whose fat ass is ****ing up my search results. Keep it in the BBW fatty!
Jfly - Ass!
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Maybe the guy came over instead, the thing to point out here is (i have many angles that you need to consider) is that you relationship wont work, this girl is done and you need to move on.. why you say? just based on this quote?Vin Diesel"s Dance Teacher said:
because you dont trust her, this will only compound problems and you already have many other reasons to cut your losses and move on.. you"re only going to question her everytime she wants you to suddenly leave early after stroking your ego at dinner (and you should, i would)
Eomer
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Not trying to jump on you but you really, really, REALLY need to change how you think about getting a proper legal settlement/custody agreement with your ex. You aren"t "taking her to court." You are "coming to an agreement." It doesn"t have to be an adversarial process AND there"s no reason why after having a proper agreement in place that you couldn"t see your son every bit as much if the two of you continue to get along.Brad said:
You both have to approach it with the proper mindset; that it"s not an adversarial process and it is in everyone"s best interests.
Someone from this thread would probably e-mail the judge with some of his posts and yes, that would happen.
someone = me
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You STILL haven"t taken your bitch to court? Brad...you"re going to get fucked in the ass by a giant spiked dildo when you go court and every day you don"t it gets bigger.Brad2770 said:
Do it now and get it over with so your ass has at least some chance to heal before your son makes you a grandfather because you"re not getting out of this ass rape.
Guys, it"s pretty obvious that Brad isn"t going to make the first move re: going to court. I think he"s stated before that his main reason for not doing so is his fear that he will lose the time he already has with his son.
Now, I"m willing to bet his fear has more to do with the fact that he feels like he has some control over the situation now, outside of court, and that he"ll lose that control if he goes to court.
The irony, of course, is that going to court and obtaining an enforceable order confers about as much control over a situation as you can get.
Also, that Lassie line from the BB link posted earlier was so outrageous and unexpected that I damn near lost it.
Now, I"m willing to bet his fear has more to do with the fact that he feels like he has some control over the situation now, outside of court, and that he"ll lose that control if he goes to court.
The irony, of course, is that going to court and obtaining an enforceable order confers about as much control over a situation as you can get.
Also, that Lassie line from the BB link posted earlier was so outrageous and unexpected that I damn near lost it.
Agreed. I hated dealing with my parents post-divorce, I still refuse to talk to my dad to this day. I would have stopped talking to my mom too had I had some where else to live from 8-18.Tyen said:
It"s a law of nature or something that parents who are divorced revert to a mental age of 10.Incognitogamer said:
Heylel
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This. A thousand times this. I just had to deal with my parents getting divorced last October (I"m 27). It"s had basically zero effect on my life other than how I have to deal with them both.Dabamf said:
To be fair, my dad was an absolute shit to my mom through the whole thing and royally screwed her over. Problem is, at this point she"s free and clear yet all she does is harp on how my dad lives his own life. They both drive me insane.
Since my last post, DG came over one last time for post break-up talking. I believe if was the same night as the post, but I can"t remember. Anyway, we talked for a while and she stayed the night. I brought up maintaining a sexual relationship and she flat out said "we don"t do that in Korea. Once you break up, it"s over." Well we had a pretty intimate night and ended up sleeping together anyway. Since then we have talked a few times, just pleasantries. We are going to remain friends, but a certain distance is required to sort of solidify the new dynamic.
Lately I"ve pretty much been at an all-time high in terms of confidence / life satisfaction / whatever. So the girls department, even after 7 months out of the dating game, has been really easy.
The new girl at work, we have gone out 3 times now. On the third date she came back to my place. We were watching a movie at my place, side by side. She was really restless and I could tell that she was thinking of nothing other than when I was going to make something happen. I hadn"t kissed her at all but had built up so much tension. I"ve said before I usually plan to make it happen by date 2 to avoid losing the tension and friend-zoning (it"s never happened to me, but I"m sorta always paranoid it will). This was a little different because this girl is more transparent and I could read her interest very easily. So I knew going into date 3 (plus all the time we"ve talked at work and one night out for a company dinner) that I still had some wiggle room.
Anyway, knowing her interest and reading her tension while we were watching a movie, I delayed it a little longer than I had originally planned. The tension builds excitement for her and for me as well, and makes sex better. Plus I kinda like to fuck with girls when it comes to that thing. Eventually I made my move and we got down to it, but she stopped me and said, "we can"t have sex, now is not a good time." Wow. What a difference from DG who took 3 months to get to that point. As a consolation prize she took care of me, with all the loving care and attention that Asians are known for, and went home.
This chick is really interesting. She has a lot of experiences all over the world. She"s quite smart and has a lot of good suggestions about teaching and dealing with kids. Her hobbies and preferences are the absolute polar opposite of mine, but we share a very similar attitude, one that I don"t often see. She also has qualities that I don"t have, yet admire. And the best thing is there are no games or bullshit from her. But we are both in a position where something long-term is not an option and we will just have a good time together. And the funniest thing is she"s 30. I"ve always wanted to date older women but I look like I"m 7 so it"s always fucking high schoolers that are interested me. I"ve hated that for so long. Now I go from a 31/32 year old 8 month relationship to another 30 year old. I love it.
In order to keep my options open I"ve recontacted a girl I went out with months ago briefly. She was receptive and I plan to go out with her when the opportunity arises in my now busy schedule. She was kinda tense the first time we went out so I am thinking about doing something a little different and out of my character. When I first met her and liked her was when we were all drinking w/ mutual friends. I"m thinking about telling her just the 100% truth and that I want to drink together so we can loosen up and have fun together. This is gonna be a challenge to avoid looking like I just want her pants to loosen up, but I have some ideas to give the right impression.
No news on the super cute girl at work. She"s even older, in her mid 30s, and we just exchange smiles. It"s gonna be 100% me if anything were to get started w/ her, and given that I"m semi involved with the new girl, it would be unwise to see another one in the office when my work has about 25 total employees.
My latest scheme is break out my Korean language homework on the subway if I"m sitting next to a cute girl. It"s taboo to talk to a stranger of the opposite sex here and I don"t wanna be another oblivious foreigner that"s seen preying on the youth of the country, so I give them an opportunity to say something to me in their own tongue (aka comfortably) if they are interested. Worked once on accident, but I was with DG at the time so it was fruitless.
Lately I"ve pretty much been at an all-time high in terms of confidence / life satisfaction / whatever. So the girls department, even after 7 months out of the dating game, has been really easy.
The new girl at work, we have gone out 3 times now. On the third date she came back to my place. We were watching a movie at my place, side by side. She was really restless and I could tell that she was thinking of nothing other than when I was going to make something happen. I hadn"t kissed her at all but had built up so much tension. I"ve said before I usually plan to make it happen by date 2 to avoid losing the tension and friend-zoning (it"s never happened to me, but I"m sorta always paranoid it will). This was a little different because this girl is more transparent and I could read her interest very easily. So I knew going into date 3 (plus all the time we"ve talked at work and one night out for a company dinner) that I still had some wiggle room.
Anyway, knowing her interest and reading her tension while we were watching a movie, I delayed it a little longer than I had originally planned. The tension builds excitement for her and for me as well, and makes sex better. Plus I kinda like to fuck with girls when it comes to that thing. Eventually I made my move and we got down to it, but she stopped me and said, "we can"t have sex, now is not a good time." Wow. What a difference from DG who took 3 months to get to that point. As a consolation prize she took care of me, with all the loving care and attention that Asians are known for, and went home.
This chick is really interesting. She has a lot of experiences all over the world. She"s quite smart and has a lot of good suggestions about teaching and dealing with kids. Her hobbies and preferences are the absolute polar opposite of mine, but we share a very similar attitude, one that I don"t often see. She also has qualities that I don"t have, yet admire. And the best thing is there are no games or bullshit from her. But we are both in a position where something long-term is not an option and we will just have a good time together. And the funniest thing is she"s 30. I"ve always wanted to date older women but I look like I"m 7 so it"s always fucking high schoolers that are interested me. I"ve hated that for so long. Now I go from a 31/32 year old 8 month relationship to another 30 year old. I love it.
In order to keep my options open I"ve recontacted a girl I went out with months ago briefly. She was receptive and I plan to go out with her when the opportunity arises in my now busy schedule. She was kinda tense the first time we went out so I am thinking about doing something a little different and out of my character. When I first met her and liked her was when we were all drinking w/ mutual friends. I"m thinking about telling her just the 100% truth and that I want to drink together so we can loosen up and have fun together. This is gonna be a challenge to avoid looking like I just want her pants to loosen up, but I have some ideas to give the right impression.
No news on the super cute girl at work. She"s even older, in her mid 30s, and we just exchange smiles. It"s gonna be 100% me if anything were to get started w/ her, and given that I"m semi involved with the new girl, it would be unwise to see another one in the office when my work has about 25 total employees.
My latest scheme is break out my Korean language homework on the subway if I"m sitting next to a cute girl. It"s taboo to talk to a stranger of the opposite sex here and I don"t wanna be another oblivious foreigner that"s seen preying on the youth of the country, so I give them an opportunity to say something to me in their own tongue (aka comfortably) if they are interested. Worked once on accident, but I was with DG at the time so it was fruitless.