Girls who broke your heart thread

Aulirophile: It is within your power (and duty to yourself) to improve your situation by kicking her out. Not taking that route and then complaining about your situation is ridiculous.

Can"t find a job for 1 1/2 years? Is that a joke? Oh, you mean she hasn"t found a job that suits her because she"s got financial backup (you) enough to wait for the perfect job.

She can go to any of the 10,000 restaurants in whatever city you live in/near and make enough money to support herself in her own apartment. You think she"ll be homeless if you kick her out? Give me a break. She"ll find a way if she thinks she has to.

If you want to be nice, give her 1 month to get out. If you want to be really nice, offer to buy her a plane ticket to the guy"s place.

People adapt. Peoplealwaysadapt.

Sacrificing your happiness to help someone who doesn"t care about you is a pathetic thing to do. 6 months? What if she said 12 months. Or 18? What if they break up before those 6 months are up? You"re gonna be miserable for6 monthsof your life to make a girl"s life--who doesn"t care about you--more comfortable? Not to mention the longstanding psychological toll that will take, eradicating any sliver of self-esteem you already don"t have, significantly hindering your ability to meet any new girl.

Your life is yours to create. You are responsible for the consequences of your actions and those alone. She is responsible for her actions. Also consider that you protecting her from the consequences of her own actions just enables her to make shitty decisions that may lead to even more severe consequences later.

P.S. Make friends. Fuck go to meetupdotcom and join some outdoors group oranything.

Zinke said:

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Brad said:

That chick wants Eomer bad. She is busy.

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Zinke said:

No, I actually just read the last post where he was talking about her. She"s either being A) passive aggressive cause he didn"t put any moves on her
or
B) she"s just horny when she smokes.

She can be busy, that"s fine, but the way she wrote her responses was like a blow off. Not an "omg, I really wish I had some time this week! I really do wanna go check it out with you!" vibe.

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Brad said:

Do you know about their past? Just wait until more unfolds.

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I think it"s somewhere in between, really. She made herself available and dropped by at the drop of a hat, maybe just for a quick fuck because she"s been on a dry streak getting over her psycho ex. Maybe she dropped by because she wanted to see if I was interested in giving things another shot. Regardless, I didn"t try to make any moves at all and shied away from flirting, so she"s either put off that I didn"t want to bang or put off because she knows that my feelings in regards to anything serious with her haven"t changed in the past year.

So it"s not a surprise that she turned me down, whether she actually was busy or just made an excuse. I think it"s 50/50.

JackLemmonsBalls said:

I think im just going to cut off my dick and sack so im not tempted to associate with females anymore. This shit is fucking retarded.

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If only they weren"t such fascinating creatures and life were so simple :/.

Aulirophile said:

So what is the appropriate response

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Never been in a long relationship, but murder sounds fair.

But seriously, rip the bandaid off and do what everyone is told to do and most don"t in this thread: get the fuck away from her and try not to look back. Whether the relationship"s failure was your fault, hers, or somewhere in between it sounds like there"s little point in trying to salvage anything other than your own pride.

She let me move her halfway across the country to be with me, I can"t just put her on the street.

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See?

Its funny, I get the feeling every time I post explaining one thing, I"m going to have to post explaining something else. Like I said, there is a ton of backstory, been together six years almost, and neither of us look all that great if you look at the whole thing. I just need to find a way to deal with what is going on right now.

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What you"re actually saying is "thanks for the obvious advice, but I can"t do it for X reason. And if X isn"t good enough, I can come up with Y and Z in short order when you shoot down X."

Ronaan said:

Shit"s boring heh. Though I couldn"t be happier.

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Congrats. At some point I"d like to stop posting updates myself!

Jack Lemmons Balls said:

Fuck man! So i am recently divorced because my wife fucked a bunch of guys while i was on deployment, and then a few more when i got home. Now i am trying to ease back into the dating scene. (which i hate with a passion)

So i meet Girl#1. We hit it off, shes smoking hot, and really cool. Turns out we have a ton in common on an almost scary level. When we were younger we lived on the same street at the same time and didnt know it, I was stationed with her sister in the military, then we both moved across country at the same time and ended up working at the same place, weird. Anyways we hit it off and go out once. It was fun, but after that she stops talking to me and blows me off a half dozen times until i tell her to fuck off. Case closed right?

Then i meet Girl#2. Super cool. a "guys girl". We hang out and hit it off. I get a hand job 1 or 2 times. Then the bomb drops. 1 date i pick her up and BAM out comes the cell phone. Talks on that shit the whole time WTF? Atleast she jerked me off right? Then i get "my ex just got out of jail and he wants to kill me" then i get "i want to have 5 babies RIGHT NOW" then i get "when we move in together we are going to have very different tastes in decorating" Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! Put a stop to that and now she hates me, whatever.

Then, months later out of the fucking blue, GIRL #1 calls me up and invites me to her house for dinner with her family. I agree as i never pass up free food. We hit it off, again. Start dating a bit, finally land a kiss, and we kind of make things official. Well, turns out shes never had a BF or done ANYTHING with anyone. WTF? Guess she got hurt by some guy once and has been jaded her whole life. Now that things got semi serious, i guess it scared her off again, and shes now back to blowing me off a bunch of times. We hang out and she barely talks to me. I guess she gets nervous, because she just starts talking mad shit on me out of nowhere every time. Fucking garbage.

Now out of nowhere my ex wife starts sending me text message saying she misses me and sending me naked pics and what not.

I think im just going to cut off my dick and sack so im not tempted to associate with females anymore. This shit is fucking retarded.

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damn, dude... go with a Russian bride, then turn them in every few years for a new one.

I"m just posting here to let you know I am watching.

Jack Lemmons Balls said:

Fuck man! So i am recently divorced because my wife fucked a bunch of guys while i was on deployment, and then a few more when i got home. Now i am trying to ease back into the dating scene. (which i hate with a passion)

So i meet Girl#1. We hit it off, shes smoking hot, and really cool. Turns out we have a ton in common on an almost scary level. When we were younger we lived on the same street at the same time and didnt know it, I was stationed with her sister in the military, then we both moved across country at the same time and ended up working at the same place, weird. Anyways we hit it off and go out once. It was fun, but after that she stops talking to me and blows me off a half dozen times until i tell her to fuck off. Case closed right?

Then i meet Girl#2. Super cool. a "guys girl". We hang out and hit it off. I get a hand job 1 or 2 times. Then the bomb drops. 1 date i pick her up and BAM out comes the cell phone. Talks on that shit the whole time WTF? Atleast she jerked me off right? Then i get "my ex just got out of jail and he wants to kill me" then i get "i want to have 5 babies RIGHT NOW" then i get "when we move in together we are going to have very different tastes in decorating" Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! Put a stop to that and now she hates me, whatever.

Then, months later out of the fucking blue, GIRL #1 calls me up and invites me to her house for dinner with her family. I agree as i never pass up free food. We hit it off, again. Start dating a bit, finally land a kiss, and we kind of make things official. Well, turns out shes never had a BF or done ANYTHING with anyone. WTF? Guess she got hurt by some guy once and has been jaded her whole life. Now that things got semi serious, i guess it scared her off again, and shes now back to blowing me off a bunch of times. We hang out and she barely talks to me. I guess she gets nervous, because she just starts talking mad shit on me out of nowhere every time. Fucking garbage.

Now out of nowhere my ex wife starts sending me text message saying she misses me and sending me naked pics and what not.

I think im just going to cut off my dick and sack so im not tempted to associate with females anymore. This shit is fucking retarded.

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Dude where do you pick up your chicks at?? Let me know please so I can avoid it like the black plague.

Ravvenn said:

I"m just posting here to let you know I am watching.

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what does that mean

Eomer said:

So it"s not a surprise that she turned me down, whether she actually was busy or just made an excuse. I think it"s 50/50.

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Yea, that"s reasonable. I might not be aware of your entire back story, but depending on the time frame, it may not even matter. If you were fucking/dating a girl over a year ago, that doesn"t mean they are necessarily still as interested. Especially if you haven"t seen each other in awhile. I mean, you have a leg up over <Random Bar Dude> due to history, but it"s nothing to bank on.

Also, I didn"t mean it"s impossible she doesn"t have SOME interest. She could be in a grey zone between liking you or not, and it"s not strong enough to make time this week. I.e. if she"s got nothing better to do, she"ll go hang out with you. But, if you are only luke warm on her too, she probably senses that and it"s going to spiral downwards quickly.

Pavor Nocturnus said:

damn, dude... go with a Russian bride, then turn them in every few years for a new one.

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A guy that I used to work with married a Ukrainian woman.

Seven years later:

She has: his house, a new car, citizenship, a degree in some medical tech profession or other, a job at our brand new huge hospital in town and no husband.

He has: nothing. not a job or a house. Even his "rebound" (yet another foreign girl from Brasil) turned into a failure as it turned out she was a former prostitute who kicked HIM out because he couldn"t find a job when he moved to Brasil. He now resides in his sister"s spare room.

I"m not sure what you should take away from that story, other than idiots who think with their dicks probably shouldn"t be allowed on the internet.

I"ve seen/heard that story time and time and time again. Enough so that I"ve come to believe that the eastern European (aka Russian, though I"m not sure they all are technically) girls are planning it from day one. Some times there are kids involved too, but not always. Of course its not surprising, given that a large portion of the dudes in question don"t have the looks or really even the income to pull decent American brides. So they get used and tossed away.

I have a second cousin who ended up in a similar situation due to a Columbian woman. This was his third or fourth marriage, I can"t remember which. He spoke no Spanish, and she spoke no English. They lasted long enough for her to get a bit of language and a job, then came the vague threats from her shady ass Columbian family. He ended up being coerced into helping several less reputable family members enter the country before being divorced and his bank accounts raided with threats of violent retaliation if he put up a fight. He lost a successful trucking business in the process, not to mention pride etc.

Not really sure what happened to him after that. Last I heard he had moved back up to the north georgia mountains and in with his mother. He"s 47 now, I believe.

hahahaha

Aulirophile said:

So what is the appropriate response when you support someone for 4 years on the expectation that you"re going to spend your lives together, you start having problems, go to therapy, and then she leaves you for another guy she talks to on the phone every night? Who she has phone sex with, moaning loud enough for you to hear? On a phone you"re still paying for, in an apartment you"re paying for because she has nowhere else to go? Till December anyway, which is apparently when they move in together, because he"s moving out here.

Won"t kick her out. So far my response is being in near constant emotional pain. Her response to that is "You never smile anymore" and "You always look so miserable."

I concede there is a ton of backstory, which frankly neither of us look very good in, but we loved each other, and honestly we were doing better with the therapy. Working through things. I don"t understand how I got from there to here.

Sadly in the above scenario both the guy and the girl in question read this forum. I don"t have a lot (any) friends in real life so I"ve really wanted to post asking for advice, because this is more then just a random internet forum to me and even a "that sucks" would be great to hear, but until tonight I was worried about them reading it and feeling bad. Still am, really, but I"m just... just can"t handle this anymore.

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The guy who said give her a month to get out is dead on, except I would give her a week and a Greyhound ticket not airfare. She doesn"t respect you at all for many reasons, the worst being the phone sexors. Kick her out and send her to him and in 6 months or so she will be begging you to take her back or something when she fucks it up with him. At that point you can screw her a few times or tell her that you never want to see her again and that life has never been so great. I have no doubt that your life will be much better without her for sure.

Pack her bags, put them outside your door, change the lock and block her number. Get a restraining order if she doesnt go away fast enough.

If you want to be nice, add some cash and a ticket to somewhere. Personally I would not do it.

Read dabamf"s posting, it is exactly what I was going to post. By taking her shit your ruin more than just your mood. Dont do it. Be a man.

Oh I have something to add to this thread, going to have to finish typing it out and then will post it. Many of you know already but I will correct quite a few things.

Alright, my turn to ask for advice (god help me). Been seeing this girl for about 6 months (I"m 29, shes 21, so the age difference doesn"t help). She recently moved in with me and my other roommates, not as an official "we are moving in together: but more of a "she had no place to go." For me, 6 months is a long time, I"m not a manwhore, just like many people on here I"m fairly antisocial. I"ve never actually lived with whomever I was dating ever. Great girl, and I can honestly say up until 2 weeks ago I had never been happier.

Last week I caught her in a lie (we had been bickering about petty shit for a week before this), she told me she was out with one of her female friends, but it turns out she was out with a guy she flirts with at work, and another coworker and would later be meeting up with more coworkers (including the original girlfriend) She said it was nothing to be concerned with, and if she had told me the truth it wouldn"t have been a big deal. I trust her. However I was pissed, and for that afternoon I didn"t trust her at all.

When she got home, I sat down across from her and said it was over (keep in mind I thought her being caught in a little lie was part of a big lie). She got down on the ground and cried, and I repeated it was over and left the room. Not even a minute later I came back in and apologized and said we could work through it. She calmed down, we went to bed, had sex, and while I knew we would have a tough time, we could work through it.

Fast forward a week, and she"s gone out with her coworkers every night of the week, and I"ve barely seen her. I"ve done everything I can think of to show her what she means to me during this past week. I called her out on it tonight, not because I thought she was cheating, but because we need to be working on our relationship together. She and I get in a big discussion/fight, and she tells me that when I walked out of that room I broke her heart and she can"t love me anymore. She"s afraid if we stay together, down the road if we hit another rough patch and I"ll leave her again. Keep in mind when I left her, I didnt go far, just down the hall and back. She"s been going out every night both to avoid having to admit that too me, and I suspect as a subconscious sandbag of our relationship. So FoH any suggestions on what should be done? Just give her space (keep in mind she lives with me and it will take about a month for her to find a new place), kick her ass out, try to win her back?

I"m inclined to just go about my day to day, and pretend like I"m not all fucked up inside. Not try to make her jealous, but just make sure she sees me at my best when we pass each other in the mornings and at night. Sucking up to her (flowers, dinner etc) did fuck all for me last week, so I know thats out. We both have said that if you ignore the last week we"ve never been happier.


Note: Just to head off the replies - I know she"s not cheating on me with the coworker because they aren"t that stupid. My best friend and my original roommate is ALL of their boss, and he keeps an eye out at work and listens. So when I ask him what the scutttlebutt is at work, and he heard the entire group of them talk about BAR XXXXX, and she told me she went to BAR XXXXX, that all jives. We"re talking about 8 21 year olds, they just like going out, and I doubt they could all organize their stories/casual conversation for 60 hours a week at work just to deceive me.

Obviously. My thought process was that their were 2 possibilities. She lied to me about something big, got caught, and made it a little lie. Or she lied to me about something small, in which case, I would have trouble trusting her. Simple fact is that I sabotage most of my relationships because the whole wife/kids thing has never been something I thought I wanted.

Simple fact is that yes I overreacted and fucked up, but it was a 30 second deal. Its not like I said we were done, and bumped into her a month later and said it was a mistake. It was literally, "We"re done......wait 30 seconds while I pace around.......I didn"t mean that we can work things out"

You still said it.

Women NEVER forget what you tell them. Especially if it"s something hurtful. Nothing you can say will make that particular situation OK. Basically, you need to act like it never happened and do better research in the future.

But if you cant trust her at all, then you need to boot her. It"s not healthy for either of you.

Ronaan said:

Number 2:
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I met this one through a friend. Must have been 1999. When I first laid my eyes on her, we were driving to pick her up. Turn into her street and there"s someone 50 meters ahead bent over, into the back of her car. She was looking for something, and I told my buddy that "that"s a nice ass there". He replied "that"s the girl we"re picking up for coffee".

Less than a week later I invite her on a motorbike ride (that thing seemed so useful suddenly), and she accepts. We go to the lake, swim a bit, and with probably the cheesiest line in the world ("you have so beautiful eyes") I land her. We make out a bit and decide it"s better to go somewhere private.
So we go to my place, and she immediately sits on the bed and starts sucking me off.

NICE!

The next few months were really great, I liked her parents and they seemed to like me too. She was pretty (long dark hair, slim figure, nice ass) and not stupid either. I worked shifts at the time and she didn"t really seem to have a problem with that either.

A bit later on I got an office job again, and she seemed to really have a problem with THAT instead.
Turns out whenever I was working late or night shifts, she"d hang out with exes of hers. It also surfaced that at the time when she started going out with me, she was still "officially" going with someone else.
And here I was wondering why that guy didn"t seem to like me much.

She probably cheated on me 30 times or so, and to make matters worse our mutual friends all seemed to know... I was the only one dumb enough to not notice.

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Imagine the blast from the past that hit me straight in the face when I walked through town festival this weekend holding hands with my gf and, lo and behold, the woman from above is crossing my path. I hadn"t seen anything of her in the past 10 years. Had to look twice actually. She still has those sparkling eyes and those cock sucking lips. She smiled at me, I smiled back, and went on my merry way.

I hope she punched herself in the face that night for being such a stupid cunt back then.

In fact I hope all of the women who turned me down look back and say "oh shit I could have had it so good" at one point in time.

That"ll show them.