Girls who broke your heart thread

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Ironhawk_foh

shitlord
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Don"t worry about it, honestly. You needed a pic for your shit anyways and she was the motivation for getting you to do it. Fuck the reasoning behind it, period. You didn"t know her and you will never know her.

But to actually answer your question, a photo of you with/in between a bunch of friends having a good time is what you want. Something that means that you obviously didn"t take the photo yourself (you have friends/people available to do this so that you don"t have to) You"re fun, have friends, go out, have a life, etc. Never, ever, have the photo that you took yourself in the bathroom mirror.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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You need pictures of you with others, group shots, out doing things, having fun....SMILING. Even if it"s working or whatever....you basically had a chance for a first impression and it was you with cross arms not smiling.

Never mind crossed arms are a sign of closed offness (yeah i made up a word I think), but you couldn"t even take the time to smile.

Anyways, as I said before, shots of you and buddies out havin a few drinks, or out doing some activities you like or even if its a solo shot you take yourself....at least look happy and like your outgoing. At your age a lot of women want to "re-experience" life and chances are, they aren"t going to want to do it with a guy who isn"t smiling and looks distant.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Also, Ironhawk I hope this is the last chance your giving her. I"m not sure I would even have gave her this one, but it"s your call, good luck and I hope you tell her to fuck off if and when she stands you up again.
 
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Ironhawk_foh

shitlord
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Tarrant220 said:
Also, Ironhawk I hope this is the last chance your giving her. I"m not sure I would even have gave her this one, but it"s your call, good luck and I hope you tell her to fuck off if and when she stands you up again.
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Yeah... that"s what I meant by saying it"s impossible to take your own advice. (at least with me) It really blows cause she is insanely hot and we get along great... she just has those issues. The only reason I second-guess telling her that I"m fuckin out is whether the pros outweigh the cons or not. Also, I"ve turned down enough poonani over her that I have this attitude to where "I"ve come this far..."

Fuck. I"m drunk too, fuck women sometimes dude.
 
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Inconsiderable_foh

shitlord
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Lefazz said:
Any opinions on how to take a "good" picture of yourself that makes a positive impression?
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The problem was prolly what she considers visually attractive. I had quite some discussion about it with some female friends. They have a different view on what make a male visually attractive.
For example there was this latino guy, I thought they would be all over him. But... no, not a single girl was even interested.
We might think muscles are attractive, but it only works for some. My girlfriend for example doesnt like visible muscles. A normal body shape okay, but if you look like you are going into a fitness center it turns her off.


Key for the pictures is dont pose obviously and alone. Get party shots. Go clichee. Get a picture playing with a dog, get one showing activity.. climbing, surfing, etc Get on in the middle of your friends.
"Healthy social integration" is what you should be going for. She should see your pictures and not think "wow his pose is so dark and moody and cool" but "His life looks fun, I want to join in!"
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

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@ Lefazz

Online women get "hit on" all the time online, so it gives them this idea that they are beautiful and God"s gift to men. They think they have room to be selective.

She actually did you a favor. Absolutely no wasted effort or time on your part when it comes to her.
 
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Lefazz_foh

shitlord
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Inconsiderable said:
Key for the pictures is dont pose obviously and alone. Get party shots. Go clichee. Get a picture playing with a dog, get one showing activity.. climbing, surfing, etc Get on in the middle of your friends.
"Healthy social integration" is what you should be going for. She should see your pictures and not think "wow his pose is so dark and moody and cool" but "His life looks fun, I want to join in!"
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Yeah, unfortunately the above picture scenarios aren"t possible. I have 1 friend I hang out with on occasion and I"m not gonna to get him to participate in a photo shoot session. Alls I got is myself and a camera I can set on a 10 second timer. =/

Thanks for the comments.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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Lefazz said:
Yeah, unfortunately the above picture scenarios aren"t possible. I have 1 friend I hang out with on occasion and I"m not gonna to get him to participate in a photo shoot session. Alls I got is myself and a camera I can set on a 10 second timer. =/

Thanks for the comments.
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Sounds like a woman be the least of your worries.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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TheCutlery said:
Sounds like a woman be the least of your worries.
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Not to sound like a dick but.....This.

Man you"re in your late 30"s, not saying that"s old but get out and do some shit, enjoy life, meet some people, from what you posted you sounded rather anti social and you"ll never get a woman with that hanging over your head.
 
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Lefazz_foh

shitlord
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Tarrant220 said:
Not to sound like a dick but.....This.

Man you"re in your late 30"s, not saying that"s old but get out and do some shit, enjoy life, meet some people, from what you posted you sounded rather anti social and you"ll never get a woman with that hanging over your head.
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Well, to be honest, I have a social anxiety disorder. It is VERY difficult for me to be around groups of people. Especially people I don"t know very well (or at all). I have such narrow interests that making small-talk is ridiculously hard.

But I"m not lonely or anything *right now*. I"m actually fairly content, but I can see that, down the road, it will start to suck not having anyone to do anything or go anywhere with.
 
ToeMissile

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Lefazz said:
Well, to be honest, I have a social anxiety disorder. It is VERY difficult for me to be around groups of people. Especially people I don"t know very well (or at all). I have such narrow interests that making small-talk is ridiculously hard.

But I"m not lonely or anything *right now*. I"m actually fairly content, but I can see that, down the road, it will start to suck not having anyone to do anything or go anywhere with.
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Go find a therapist, and work on that shit. I"d wager you"re lonelier than you let yourself think. You"ve probably just developed ways to ignore it/trick yourself. I"m not saying you need to be "the life of the party", have a million friends, etc. but you should have more than one.
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Lefazz said:
Well, to be honest, I have a social anxiety disorder. It is VERY difficult for me to be around groups of people. Especially people I don"t know very well (or at all). I have such narrow interests that making small-talk is ridiculously hard.

But I"m not lonely or anything *right now*. I"m actually fairly content, but I can see that, down the road, it will start to suck not having anyone to do anything or go anywhere with.
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Suck it up and force yourself into those situations. You"ll get better at it if you practice. And if you have SAD you should be seeing a psychologist and/or psychiatrist for counseling and perhaps getting some meds. It starts now.

You are older so you are more ingrained in your habits, but there"s always opportunity to make a change. SAD can be treated very effectively. Plus if you can find some courage to force yourself into uncomfortable situations (like a meetup.com hiking trip or something, using personaly experience as an example), you"ll improve your ability to handle those situations. This is is me speaking from education AND experience. I had what any psychologist would consider strong SAD in high school but just decided to force myself into social situations and got out of it, though I still combat asocial tendencies on a daily basis. If I had seen a psychologist (I didn"t) I imagine my results would have turned out even better.

Appologies for the "i could do it and so can you!" story but this is a particular area I"m know a lot about. Ultimately you can train yourself to accommodate any lifestyle. That"s what makes humans so amazing. Unfortunately few take that opportunity because it"s difficult.

You don"t suck at small talk because you have narrow interests. You suck at small talk because you never do it. I used to be 100% unable to hold a convo with a stranger for ten seconds. Now I can do it better than most people because I practice. I"m still competely uncomfortabl doing it, but I practiced it so much that I got good at it.

If you don"t want to put in any effort , at LEAST go to a shrink and get some drugs. You might be amazed hoe much it improves

As for the photo, you aren"t gonna get a single response when your photo is alone and crossing your arms. You HAVE to get a picture of you having fun. Smiling, with friends, and having fun is the holy trinity of attractive photos for men.
 
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Tenks

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Lefazz said:
Alright, so I signed up for eHarmony about a month ago, answered their long ass questionaire and wrote a few paragraphs and what not. I didn"t put a picture up because I honestly don"t have any. Nothing recent anyway.

So I had this chick send me a "photo nudge" thing obviously requesting that I put a photo up. I look at her profile and she"s okay looking. I wasn"t blown anyway. She wasn"t fat, so that"s a plus, but she does have a kid (which is expected, honestly, for women in my age group [30+]).

I kinda ignored it and a week later she did it again and sent a "icebreaker" saying something to the extent of "I like your profile, I"d love to see a photo."

So I take a pic with my digital camera. I didn"t do the ol" arm-stretched-out-holding-camera-thing. I set it for a timer and did a whole body shot. I was wearing jeans and a dark t-shirt (the type Simon Cowell wears). I put the pic up and sent her a "hi!".

So the next day BAM I get a "closed match" from her (which basically means she ain"t interested). What the fuck!? Are there like some unnamed rules regarding taking online dating pics? Because obviously it was the picture that turned her off. Granted, after re-evaluating it I wasn"t really smiling and I had my arms crossed. But on the flip side I"m NOT a bad looking guy (I mean, past girlfriends have been attractive) plus I"m in good shape which I KNOW is relatively unique for guys in their late 30"s. You can clearly see the muscles in my arms (although I wasn"t flexing or trying to show off or anything) and a flat stomach.

This really bugged the shit out of me. I haven"t dated in years mainly due to my work environment rarely having females .. I"m not the type to go to bars or any social gathering for that matter. So I thought I"d try the online dating thing.

Any opinions on how to take a "good" picture of yourself that makes a positive impression?
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With online dating you"ll get rejected CONSTANTLY. It wasn"t until I really learned how to play the online game that I didn"t constantly get turned down, rejected, ignored, deleted. Online girls can be hella, hella picky. They have nothing to lose by not waiting for the "perfect" guy. Don"t take it personally. I"m also an above-average looking dude and I would still get instantly turned down. I tried eHarmony and hated it. The questions for the icebreakers were full-on retard and I could never convey my personality. I had two dates off eHarmony and both kind of sucked. Just keep at it, don"t have one chick ruin your experience. I know when I first started I took it way personal as well and got kind of upset when a chick read but didn"t respond to my emails but you just have to carpet bomb all available chicks on the sites.
 
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Lefazz_foh

shitlord
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Tenks said:
Online girls can be hella, hella picky. They have nothing to lose by not waiting for the "perfect" guy.
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Yeah, I guess I mistakenly assumed that women with children would be incredibly desperate ... and having a non-fat-slob show up on the radar would be something they"d jump on. Clearly not!

Thanks for the responses everyone.
 
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chu_foh

shitlord
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Lefazz said:
Yeah, I guess I mistakenly assumed that women with children would be incredibly desperate ... and having a non-fat-slob show up on the radar would be something they"d jump on. Clearly not!

Thanks for the responses everyone.
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Do you mind posting excerpts of your profile here? You may just be full-on, loner, socially awkward guy that is seen miles away. The picture portrays it well but the written profile probably just seals the deal.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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Lefazz said:
Yeah, I guess I mistakenly assumed that women with children would be incredibly desperate ... and having a non-fat-slob show up on the radar would be something they"d jump on. Clearly not!

Thanks for the responses everyone.
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They can be. Or they can actually be looking for someone who can be a father to their kid and be incredibly picky. Who knows with women? They don"t do things for any reason other than they felt like it at the moment.

Bitches be crazy.
 
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Lefazz_foh

shitlord
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chu said:
Do you mind posting excerpts of your profile here?
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Hell no, I"m not opening myself up to that kind of ridicule.

I just closed the account for now. Having one rejection knock me for a loop means I will not be able to deal with the dozens more that will invariably come.

It"s obvious I need to deal with my other issues before I even consider doing this again.
 
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chu_foh

shitlord
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If 1 rejection is what it takes you to completely give up, then you will probably be alone forever.

There"s nothing wrong with being a loner and having weird non-mainstream hobbies but there"s a bad way to portray it and a good way. Running away and trying to do it on your own won"t get you far, but it"s your prerogative.
 
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