Girls who broke your heart thread

kollos said:

cut yourself in front of her, so she realized how retarded that is.

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Challenge her to a cutting duel, see how she reacts.

Manseed said:

Real cutter, but for attention. Not sure if you are asking if she"s legitimately trying to kill herself, which she isn"t. She has noticeable scars.

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I meant like, is she "scratching" the surface for attention or is she a real cutter who cuts deep and conceals the marks.

She sounds like a faker to me, so here"s my opinion.

You clearly like this girl, so if you want it to work you need to say some harsh shit to her. This is what you need to say.

"Look, _______, I"d like to think I give you ample amounts of attention yet you"re apparently not satisfied with that. You do not need to guilt me, make up stories, or injure yourself in order to make me like you more, give you more attention, or even worse, pity you. It"s quite the contrary, really. It makes me want to avoid you. Your insecurities make you ugly, your irrational behavior is juvenile and a complete turn-off. If you truly have emotional problems that leave you feeling like you need to injure yourself, then you need to seek medical help before we can be in a relationship, as I am not able or willing to try and "fix you" myself. If this is more of an act to play victim to keep me closer, it"s back-firing and you need to stop it. I will not put up with this behavior, and I won"t date anyone with this behavior and there"s absolutely zero chance of me planning a future with someone consumed with insecurities. If it weren"t for these behavioral "quirks" you have, you"d be wonderful. So with that said, until you address them, we will be unable to continue a relationship."

With fake crazies, attention whores, etc. you need to point out that crap doesn"t work for you. Tell them it makes them ugly, tell them it turns you off, pushes you away, and you WILL leave. You have to be blunt, you have to be cold, and you may end up surprised when she doesn"t cry because she"s too busy feeling like a fucking idiot.

I"ve had a version of this done to me after expressing insecurities about other women in addition to falling silent when I was upset (not much of a talker). I was mortified to hear it, but I was more afraid to lose my relationship because I was being a dipshit. I"m hormonal, I have slip-ups, but I had my confidence increase like you wouldn"t believe after that and have made maybe 2 jealous comments in the past 6 or so years.

I don"t have shit on a cutter though, even a fake one. However, friends used the same "method" and it worked. I doubt it works on a real crazy, though. Good test, I suppose!

Dis said:

Challenge her to a cutting duel, see how she reacts.

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Hahaha, just start casually cutting the shit out yourself in front of her. She how she responds.

Yeah but that shit hurts! Paper cuts are my kryptonite.

You can not fix crazy. If you think you can you are in for a lifetime of shit. Mr fixits always make the same mistake and regret it years later. The only thing that can help crazy is actual therapy.

Gryeyes said:

Hahaha, just start casually cutting the shit out yourself in front of her. She how she responds.

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That sounds kind of funny. He should do it and then record it!

So the Ex that I posted about a couple months back and I had our final chat the other day to work out her getting the last little bit of her stuff out of my apartment.

Lasted about an hour during which she was super angry, arms crossing and uncrossing, hopping from one foot to the other, all while I told her that while I love her, I don"t want to be with her. That it"s ok that she"s angry at me, confused about herself, etc.

Told her I"d continue to be nice and kind to her at work like the past 2 months, despite her "Poking" me to get a reaction periodically. Then she tries to "Poke" me one last time and proceeds to say:

"What would you say if I told you I"d been hanging out with Jay since we broke up?" (The ex best friend of mine who professed his love for her 4 years ago, and started sniffing around again a few months back)

I was like "I pretty much knew that, not a big deal, and it"s OK". She didn"t take that too well and seemed to get more agitated. Guess she wanted me to act pissed, angry and yell at her and hate her since she left me and I haven"t given her that. She says I"m a stranger to her now, but oh well. I needed to grow up and change things and I did. She says people can"t change big things only little things so she doesn"t believe I"ve changed. Guess she was just looking for me to vindicate her decision by acting angry or mad and since I can"t give that to her she"s got nowhere to focus her anger, though she"s trying real hard to focus it on me heh.

Just kinda sad all the way around, feel bad for the girl that she"s seemed to have just lost her mind. She"s deffinately not the same girl I knew, and not in a good change kind of way like mine is.

Handled like a man. Bravo.

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No, a man would have given her two eyes and a hatefuck as a going away prize.

Also, I want to laugh at all the google psychologists going on about how cutting is some "fucked up deep issues". Ravvenn seems to be the only one who knows anything at all about cutting, which is probably because of her uterus.

Cutting is a lot like drug use. It can vary wildly from the low end of recreational to the high end of severe addiction. There are countless reasons why a girl might start cutting in the first place. Cutting does not instantly mean "oh god my daddy raped me when I was a teenager". That doesn"t mean that there isn"t usually an underlying issue, but there is nothing inherently deep and screwed up about the behavior.

Now that doesn"t mean it is a remotely acceptable behavior, because it"s a slippery slope and usually does indicate some underlying psychological issue. While that issue does not have to be super serious, it is still something that needs to be dealt with.

I think Ravvenn is right with her suggestion of confronting it, regardless of how serious the cutting is. If you want any kind of long term relationship with this woman, the cutting and presumably the underlying issue both need to be resolved, and beating around the bush is just going to make things worse.

HAHAHAHAHA "there is nothing inherently deep or screwed up about the behavior" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Right, because "There is nothing inherently deep and screwed up about the behavior" means the exact same thing as "There is nothing screwed up about the behavior".

And yeah, it"s pretty clear you don"t know a goddamn thing about drug use either. It"s not like cutting causes an altered state as your brain begins producing endorphins, or like you have to cut more and more as your body becomes desensitized to it.

Yeah, nothing at all like drug use.

We get it bro your girlfriend is a cutter and you"ve managed to convince yourself she"s wife material. It"s all good.

TheCutlery said:

Dude, normal people don"t fucking cut. There was serious trauma involved in their life which manifests itself in the cutting. This is most often sexual abuse, feel free to look it up instead of spouting your bullshit here like it"s somehow anywhere near as normal as smoking fucking weed.

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You"re not only wrong, but you"re retarded too. If you had actually looked it up, like you"re suggesting that I do, you"d find out that cutting is incredibly common as early as middle school, and kids cut for reasons as simple as being teased about X at school. So no, you"re fucking stupid, it"s not always "serious trauma" that is most often sexual abuse.

And yeah, I"m pretty sure that almost nobody in the world is ever talking about weed when they say "drug use", so I"m not sure how much of an idiot you have to be to think that I was.

gavinrad said:

Ravvenn is teh bestest

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While I totally agree with you, you dont have to come completely off like you are up her ass with your nose. Try to play it off just a tad bit more

Ravvenn said:

That sounds kind of funny. He should do it and then record it!

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One more suggestion to this, use a white satin glove, slap her in the face with it, while saying "I challenge you to a duel!". Then proceed with the cutting. Would be YouTube gold IMO.

gavinrad said:

No, a man would have given her two eyes and a hatefuck as a going away prize.

Also, I want to laugh at all the google psychologists going on about how cutting is some "fucked up deep issues". Ravvenn seems to be the only one who knows anything at all about cutting, which is probably because of her uterus.

Cutting is a lot like drug use. It can vary wildly from the low end of recreational to the high end of severe addiction. There are countless reasons why a girl might start cutting in the first place. Cutting does not instantly mean "oh god my daddy raped me when I was a teenager". That doesn"t mean that there isn"t usually an underlying issue, but there is nothing inherently deep and screwed up about the behavior.

Now that doesn"t mean it is a remotely acceptable behavior, because it"s a slippery slope and usually does indicate some underlying psychological issue. While that issue does not have to be super serious, it is still something that needs to be dealt with.

I think Ravvenn is right with her suggestion of confronting it, regardless of how serious the cutting is. If you want any kind of long term relationship with this woman, the cutting and presumably the underlying issue both need to be resolved, and beating around the bush is just going to make things worse.

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Plenty o fish out there. That don"t have fucking issues like oh I don"t know cutting themselves for attention. I don"t fucking care how you categorize what you think cutting is. Its fucked up and most normal people don"t want that shit in their lives.

Obviously if he thought it was all good. He would not even brought the issue up in the first place.

Just thought I"d post a little update for anyone remembers my bitching pages back about my destructive relationship.

We were split up over the summer and saw each other a couple of times. When we started a new year at University she was (predictably) really into me again and wanting to start over. I used my logic and just assumed it was as I thought that she"d want a summer with no boyfriend and then when we"re back in the same place again she"d want me. I had friends down for the first week back and didn"t want to rock the boat so I left it hanging. During the first week (partys every night) I ended up hooking up with a girl I"d liked for ages before I got with my ex and I realised I didn"t want my ex anymore. Later that week I sat her down and told her things had changed for me and too much had happened between us. That I felt differently now and I didn"t want our relationship anymore. She balled her eyes out for a few weeks while I began to date this new girl who, while being really shy, is also amazing.

Me and the ex tried being friends as I deeply cared about her and wish her well but it really didn"t work out and wasn"t fair to the new girl who I genuinely like so we"ve deleted each others numbers and said we"ll just be polite when we see each other. The new girl is very different to my ex, she"s quite independent and isn"t into talking 24/7 which I"m cool with, whilst finding it weird adjusting to. I trust her implicitly as we"ve been friends for so long and I know her character. After a month I"ve met her father who really liked me and I"m due to meet her mother at christmas. From all this I can gauge that she genuinely likes me and just isn"t an enormously affectionate person via texts etc. When we"re togeather she is affectionate and we really have a good time and I find myself getting abit scared by how often I think about her when we"re apart!

Just like to say a thank you to anyone who gave me advice as I genuinely used it in my thought process towards the end.