Girls who broke your heart thread
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Tarrant
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Well, much like I said many months ago when I was under fire for getting married that if things didn"t go well I would not hesitate to end it. I went out of my way before I got married to make sure my assets (and ass) were protected because yes, things went fast but I wanted to try and do right by my son and see if I could allow him to grow up in a home with both his mother and father under one roof.
Well things aren"t going well and unless counseling will help (which I"m not sure if it will, I"m pretty much checked out at this point) I"m going to be seeking a divorce, at this point it"s just a matter of deciding if I want to wait until after the holidays or not.
I know posting this I"ll probably get flamed and have I told you so"s thrown at me and that"s fine becuase I knew what I was getting into, I took the steps to make sure I was protected and I"m doing now just what I said I would do those months ago when all this went down.
The one thing I can hold my head up about is knowing I tried my hardest to do right by my son and when he gets older I"ll be able to tell him that.
I"ll be going for full custody of him and feel my odds are pretty good but time will tell.
There"s still a slim chance for things to work, but I"m pretty sure the fat lady is singing. I know I probably sound indifferent but I"m not...I"m just so emotionally exhausted from everything I don"t really know how or what I"m supposed to think or how I"m supposed to talk about it. I really wish it could have worked and I put everything I had into it just some things aren"t meant to be.
If anything this will spice up the thread for a little bit at least, I"m pretty gutted about the whole thing but if you want to mock me, here"s your chance.
Well things aren"t going well and unless counseling will help (which I"m not sure if it will, I"m pretty much checked out at this point) I"m going to be seeking a divorce, at this point it"s just a matter of deciding if I want to wait until after the holidays or not.
I know posting this I"ll probably get flamed and have I told you so"s thrown at me and that"s fine becuase I knew what I was getting into, I took the steps to make sure I was protected and I"m doing now just what I said I would do those months ago when all this went down.
The one thing I can hold my head up about is knowing I tried my hardest to do right by my son and when he gets older I"ll be able to tell him that.
I"ll be going for full custody of him and feel my odds are pretty good but time will tell.
There"s still a slim chance for things to work, but I"m pretty sure the fat lady is singing. I know I probably sound indifferent but I"m not...I"m just so emotionally exhausted from everything I don"t really know how or what I"m supposed to think or how I"m supposed to talk about it. I really wish it could have worked and I put everything I had into it just some things aren"t meant to be.
If anything this will spice up the thread for a little bit at least, I"m pretty gutted about the whole thing but if you want to mock me, here"s your chance.
Eh, hopefully no one around here is a big enough dick to flame you for that. Sucks to hear man. Hopefully you get your kid and your wife and you can remain civil.
-edit-
I was wrong
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I was wrong
Sutekh
Blackwing Lair Raider
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You god damn right you"re wrong. He"s not just fucking with his own life and his wifes life anymore. There"s a kid involved. You"re fucking with that kids life now. What can I say, I have a soft spot for kids, careless disregard for them makes me angry.Tenks said:
Tarrant
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We are going through it right now to no avail so far, and yes I have children from a previous marriage (together for 8 years) who I have good relationships and see quite often.Sutekh said:
And Tenks, thanks, as far as flaming..it"s Sutekh, he"s a troll, we all know it...it"s cool.
Sutekh
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You date girl for months.Tarrant220 said:
Knock her up.
Force in to marriage.
Now want divorce from girl.
If you think for half a second that, that isn"t careless disregard for the kid that was just born, I really don"t know what to say, other than you"re not fit to propagate.
I"m sure you"re going to come back with some retort about how I"m wrong or some shit, but I"ve got to go to work so I don"t really have time to show you how wrong you really are.
Tarrant
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We took steps to not get pregnant, sometimes that happens regardless.
There was no forcing into marriage.
Yes, I want to divorce a woman who is cutting the shit out of herself and threatening her own life when things don"t go her own way, screams at my infant son and is flat out a mean individual. She wont get help. But obviously it would be better for the child"s sake to stay with her you"re right. I will note my blatant disregard for his well being in not wanting him to grow up in a household full or arguments, suicide threats and her screaming all the while teaching him such behaviors are acceptable.
There was no forcing into marriage.
Yes, I want to divorce a woman who is cutting the shit out of herself and threatening her own life when things don"t go her own way, screams at my infant son and is flat out a mean individual. She wont get help. But obviously it would be better for the child"s sake to stay with her you"re right. I will note my blatant disregard for his well being in not wanting him to grow up in a household full or arguments, suicide threats and her screaming all the while teaching him such behaviors are acceptable.
Sutekh
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Been with my girlfriend for 6 years, we have sex almost once a day. NO KIDS YET. I guess you weren"t taking the right steps. Perhaps going back and revising your pla- honestly, fuck it. I don"t give a shit, keep popping out little kids. Im moving to China fuck this.Tarrant220 said:
Tarrant
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Ever hear of 99%? It"s the effectiveness of condoms you retard, that 1% happens SOMEWHERE. You"re crossing from troll into full retard now.Sutekh said:
Also I"m snipped now.
And if you didn"t give a shit you"d not be giving the attempts you are at trolling, nice try though.
I like how you gave up your disregarding the kid argument though, it was a good attempt though.
Sad to hear this. Mind telling us what is going on and when she turned from marriage material to crazy bitch?Tarrant220 said:
Plus, I hope you get custody.
You guys really don"t need to put on kiddie gloves for Tarrant considering how dismissive he was when it was suggested that his course heading might not have been the best of directions.
Things were wonderful and amazing and now you are married and she"s suddenly a psycho bitch cutter? How oblivious are you exactly?
Things were wonderful and amazing and now you are married and she"s suddenly a psycho bitch cutter? How oblivious are you exactly?
I"m sure he knows that. I mean I was one of the leaders of the "this is a bad idea" brigade but theres no need to kick a man when he"s down.
Well Sutekh is certainly doing some kicking, but the coddling is more disgusting to me. It"s been how long in the marriage, less than a year? And you are ready to call it quits cause you can"t handle her insanity and of course it"s all her fault and she wasn"t like this before? Someone here has got to be pretty damned stupid and I tell you what it"s not going to be me for buying into it.
AMEN! What thread does he think he"s in?!Tenks said:
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Sutekh, shut up, please.
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Tarrant, we need the deets! Otherwise, I"ll just call you later for them. Anyway you look at it, atleast you tried. Sorry it didn"t work out but it"s nice to see someone fight for their kids around here! Good luck, brosephina.
Reality check #1. You are not protected at all, you are entirely at the mercy of a judge at the end of the day in any divorce. Generally speaking you"re probably going to be ok, but PREPARE, until proceedings are finalized, you could literally get fucked over at any moment. You need to have a backup plan for what happens if everything falls out from underneath you.Tarrant220 said:
I"ve mentioned it in the past, and people love to jump down my throat about it because they love to think their situation is somehow special, but...
Reality Check #2. Your wife being insane, a cutter, and a potential hazard to your child has granted you statistically an ~8% chance of actually getting FULL custody.
This isn"t meant to be a downer, and as stated above, I"m sure you have a million reasons as to why YOUR situation is special, but don"t delude yourself, prepare for the emotional impact of the LIKELY scenario.
Oh so I found out why she was hesitant to have sex with me. She thought all of the girls being with me was "cute" and wants to know what all of the hype was about. She just wanted me to get an STD check before we did anything. So I got one done yesterday and I"m got the results back an hour ago saying I"m clean from all of the major ones. Now I just have to wait for the urinalysis for the random STD that I"ve never heard of and I"ll be good to go.
Tarrant
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I meant I was taken care of and protected as far as my assets and business go (which its not like I"m well off but I wasn"t interested in losing everything again), I got a prenub as far as that goes.Darus Grey said:
And all I want is full Physical, I"ll go 50/50 on legal, she"s still his mother he"s just not safe with her.
Ancient, I knew full well she used to cut, it wasn"t for attention (always covered) and had been under control for a while, years since she last did it. Even if it were only cutting I"d help work through it but shes now prone to outbursts of violence. She lashes out at whoever is closest and she has no mood between happy and angry.
I talked to her parents about it and they said they just ignore her when shes like that...well I"m not in the boat and neither is my son...also as far as I am concerned that just enables her behavior which I will have no part of. We"ve tried working on it a bit so far and things still get worse and I want to get out before something bad happens.
I could go on for pages really, suffice it to say it"s not a good environment to raise my son in. It makes me really sad to know things came to this but I can"t stay married because we have a kid...that"s the very LAST reason to keep a marriage together that is failing and I"d rather this happen when he"s 2 months old then 2 years old.
And Rav yeah, give me a call if you want and I"ll fill you in more. I"m also curious as to the status to the other stuff we"ve talked about too.
I, too, am sorry it appears things aren"t working out for you. And just because the odds are these days that a relationship won"t work out doesn"t mean people shouldn"t still try to raise a family.
I echo Darus"s advice to be prepared. I"m fairly certain you had an attorney representing you during your last rodeo. If you liked him or her, schedule your appointment yesterday.
Spoiled the rest of this post like the one I made for Brad because it"s lengthy and folks here may be more interested in kicking Tarrant.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Quite honestly you are in a very potentially "dangerous" period of time. That is, the period of time before either one of you makes a definitive move one way or the other (ending the relationship). I have seen countless men who thought they had the "advantage" over their spouse stick it out a bit longer, usually because some other head was doing the thinking, only to see their "advantage" evaporate.
So now may be the best time to gather your evidence of her instability and inappropriateness as a custodial parent. Your attorney will direct you how they want that done. It may involve getting photos of the cuts, or video of her wigging out with the baby in her arms, or perhaps a tape-recording of a fight. In the context of marriage counseling I have seen counselors suggest that the parties tape-record their fights so that they can be played back so that the participants can hear themselves in the heat of an argument. You can imagine how damaging it can be for a parent to have such a tape played in an open court room. Again, check with your attorney before you unwittingly or unknowingly do anything illegal.
Other sources of evidence are text messages and voicemail recordings. I swear to God half or more of my cases involve one or both parties texting the most inappropriate material imaginable. And don"t get me started on the social networking sites. Pictures of people passed out drunk with junior in the crib unattended and ignored? Check. Pictures of taking mad bong hits? Check.
You"ve pretty much acknowledged things are probably not going to work out. I, personally, am not a big fan of waiting for some arbitrary time in the future before ending things. That may be fine and dandy when there aren"t children involved, but that"s not your situation. If the relationship is dead, make your decision to make things final on your terms, when your position is strongest. As an example, and I"m specifically not referencing your situation, if a parent truly believes the other parent is capable of harming their children, no rational parent is going to sit around and keep giving the other parent an opportunity to harm them. They get the hell out of dodge and go to court to seek appropriate relief.
One final thing. Even if you think your gal knows nothing of FoH, I would be extraordinarily cautious about posting too many details here, even in PMs. You can keep us spectators happy with just a few updates (which contain information that is public and readily available) here and there. Best of luck.
I echo Darus"s advice to be prepared. I"m fairly certain you had an attorney representing you during your last rodeo. If you liked him or her, schedule your appointment yesterday.
Spoiled the rest of this post like the one I made for Brad because it"s lengthy and folks here may be more interested in kicking Tarrant.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Quite honestly you are in a very potentially "dangerous" period of time. That is, the period of time before either one of you makes a definitive move one way or the other (ending the relationship). I have seen countless men who thought they had the "advantage" over their spouse stick it out a bit longer, usually because some other head was doing the thinking, only to see their "advantage" evaporate.
So now may be the best time to gather your evidence of her instability and inappropriateness as a custodial parent. Your attorney will direct you how they want that done. It may involve getting photos of the cuts, or video of her wigging out with the baby in her arms, or perhaps a tape-recording of a fight. In the context of marriage counseling I have seen counselors suggest that the parties tape-record their fights so that they can be played back so that the participants can hear themselves in the heat of an argument. You can imagine how damaging it can be for a parent to have such a tape played in an open court room. Again, check with your attorney before you unwittingly or unknowingly do anything illegal.
Other sources of evidence are text messages and voicemail recordings. I swear to God half or more of my cases involve one or both parties texting the most inappropriate material imaginable. And don"t get me started on the social networking sites. Pictures of people passed out drunk with junior in the crib unattended and ignored? Check. Pictures of taking mad bong hits? Check.
You"ve pretty much acknowledged things are probably not going to work out. I, personally, am not a big fan of waiting for some arbitrary time in the future before ending things. That may be fine and dandy when there aren"t children involved, but that"s not your situation. If the relationship is dead, make your decision to make things final on your terms, when your position is strongest. As an example, and I"m specifically not referencing your situation, if a parent truly believes the other parent is capable of harming their children, no rational parent is going to sit around and keep giving the other parent an opportunity to harm them. They get the hell out of dodge and go to court to seek appropriate relief.
One final thing. Even if you think your gal knows nothing of FoH, I would be extraordinarily cautious about posting too many details here, even in PMs. You can keep us spectators happy with just a few updates (which contain information that is public and readily available) here and there. Best of luck.