The Single Mom in the City Chronicles - City Girl Blogs
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Chronicles of a Single Mom in the City:
If a very attractive man tells you his ex-girlfriend was crazy on the first date, he just wants the panties.
I"m a mom. I"m single, and I live in a city where the ratio of men to women is not in my favor. I date, but due to the constraints of single ?motherdom,? I"m unable to be a cavalier dater, as some of my fellow sister girls out there with no children can be. Instead, I have to be very strategic when accepting and planning a date. A government project manager by day, I apply my same project management skills to my dating life. I have to pre-plan, implement the plan and measure the results of my dating due diligence.
In the pre-planning stages, I have to determine if my suitor is worthy of a date. Once that is decided, there are the negotiations between me and my suitor as to the time and place of the first date. Once the launch date (pun intended) is determined, I have to enter the competitive bidding process for a baby sitter who I know will take great care of my kids and not steal from my collection of Chanel bags. And, living in Cleveland Park means I am paying top dollar for a good sitter in this competitive babysitter market.
The final stages of the pre-planning first date process consist of picking the perfect outfit that I will feel comfortable, yet sexy in, and doing my hair. I normally wear it in a half brushed ponytail. But, for dating purposes, I try to let down my black locks with auburn highlights to show the full glory of my hair extensions. Then I decide whether to drive or taxi because my rule is no man picks me up from my house on the first date. I choose a taxi based on two factors ? if I will be drinking and if I will receive a parking ticket if I park my car near the venue where the first date takes place. If these two variables apply, I take a taxi.
All the planning is done, and now it"s date time. From my anecdotal analysis, with a sample of ten dates, 80% of the men I"ve gone on first dates with only want to sleep with me on the first date, and want nothing more. How do I know? Because I am a single mother with little time to spare on gratuitous dating, and I"ve been around the block a few times. I notice and listen to everything my dates say, and I take lots of mental notes.
In this sparse dating pool called the D.C. Singles Scene, I have come to these conclusions/warning signs about first dates:
#1 The first date is an exceptionally attractive man, with a full head of hair, who stands 6 feet tall or over, in his mid 30"s to early 40"s, has a good career, and yet has never been married and has no children.
#2 On your first date, he proclaims ?my ex-girlfriend was crazy? rather emphatically.
#3 He attempts to feed you large amounts of alcoholic beverages during the date.
#4 He tells you that his ideal woman is sitting across or next to him and has beautiful black hair with auburn highlights (this is what I"ve been told, but notice what he says he likes specifically about your physical appearance, in his lame attempt to make you feel special).
#5 He tries to take you to his place to show you his art collection, or collection of first edition Oscar Wilde novels. Or, he takes you to a bar to feed you more alcoholic beverages.
#6 Once you are at his home or at the bar, he will tell you how beautiful you are in his sincerest tone. He will proclaim he"s not like those other ?douche bags? out there and that he"s ?honest.? Again, he?ll say that you are the one he"s been looking for out of all the ?crazy? ex-girlfriends.
Ladies, do not fall for it. I"ve done the dating research, and 8 out of 10 men say the same thing. The only thing this guy wants from this first date is for you to be on your back, legs spread eagle, or pants down or skirt up in the bathroom of the dive bar he took you to after dinner.
These men do not want a relationship. They just want to screw. Now, if you just want to screw, too, then get the prophylactics and go for it! But if you"re seeking a relationship with this handsome man, with all his hair, a good career and a nice BMW, who says all the right things on the first date, then be warned. He is not looking for a relationship. He just wants to have sex and move on to the next variety of woman, and tell her the same things he told you on your first date.
So ladies beware. If a man says his ex-girlfriend was crazy on the first date, that means he drove her crazy because he led her on and broke her heart, and he"s not into you, but he does want to get inside your sugar walls.
Have questions for Single Mom in the City? Comment, ask via Formspring or email her at singlemominthecitydc (at) gmail.
