It doesn"t matter how it happened. You shouldn"t be getting treatment that leads to something like that from your significant other - end of story.
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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I had a girlfriend that would do shit like that. For her, it was all about being the center of attention. And when she wasn"t, she would do dumb, annoying crap to get it.Heylel Teomim said:
To me, from your story there, it makes me wonder how mature this chick is. Why the hell would she just randomly reach over and give you a hard pinch?
Heylel
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Wish I knew. She does have some problems not being the center of attention, and I kinda wonder if she just did it to get my attention at a very large table of 20+ people. I don"t think she genuinely meant to get me that bad, nor did she expect me to react angrily (I never do). In short, we both screwed up. I"d have preferred to just set the score to zero last night, but she was a lot more upset than me.
I don"t think you "screwed up". Getting angry from having physical pain inflicted upon you is quite a natural response.
ToeMissile
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I"ve been in a somewhat similar situation w/ my gf. We have a pretty physically affectionate relationship (pokes, pinches, grabs, etc), we both like to give and receive. One time I was driving us somewhere and she pinched the shit out of my arm. She wasn"t trying to do it that hard, it just happened. I didn"t yell at her or anything, just an "Ow, that hurt!" and a bit of an angry look, but the thing that pissed me off was the lack of acknowledging that she made a mistake (albeit small one) instead of the bambi eyes/tee hee/womanly wiles that she threw my way. So I was kind of annoyed at the lack of any kind of apologetic vibe. She also didn"t understand/was semi-angry that I didn"t immediately dismiss my annoyance. I just explained that why I was annoyed and that all I needed was a minute or two. She gave me semi-angry eyes, and I just said "deal with it". After that it was water under the bridge.Heylel Teomim said:
Sounds like she needs to grow the fuck up. It seems the honeymoon stage of a new relationship is wearing off and she is doing the same shit that you may have overlooked before but realize that its pretty fucking annoying.Heylel Teomim said:
In my last relationship, it was about the 10-12 month mark where I stared to realize that some shit I used to find "cute" was really retarded. There was no indication that she recognized it as a problem and no indication that it would stop in the future. I wish I would have ended it there, but put up with it for a few more months hoping it would get better. It didn"t. I said fuck it and broke up with her.
Heylel
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We talked, and by her description I"m some kind of raving madman and she doesn"t know if I"ll hurt her or not. It"s absolutely ridiculous. I"m the one with marks on me, and somehow she"s got it in her head that I"m violent. No one else at the table even saw an altercation happen (because there basically wasn"t one). The only person who even saw us speak was right across from us and didn"t know why she was upset.
I apologized, acknowledged that getting angry was an overreaction, but she absolutely will not come to terms with the fact that in order to have anoverreaction, you have to be reactingtosomething. She just got even angrier when I tried to point out I was reacting to pain.
Meh. I"m crazy about this girl, but I"m starting to think the emphasis is on the crazy.
I apologized, acknowledged that getting angry was an overreaction, but she absolutely will not come to terms with the fact that in order to have anoverreaction, you have to be reactingtosomething. She just got even angrier when I tried to point out I was reacting to pain.
Meh. I"m crazy about this girl, but I"m starting to think the emphasis is on the crazy.
A lot of the people here that are going "Fuck that bitch" clearly haven"t been out with their girlfriend with a bunch of friends. This is very common actually... girls will usually give you all their attention and be all lovey dovey when it"s just the two of you, but if you"re out at a public place like a bar, dinner, etc, don"t even expect that kind of attention, at least until they start getting drunk. From what I"ve gathered it really doesn"t seem to be something they do intentionally, it"s just how the social dynamic changes... they"re not crazy bitches out to cut you down (usually...).
No matter how much it pissed you off Heylel, you can"t ever do that in front of her friends. Ever. She has every right to be afraid of you, even if your intentions are harmless. For one thing, you had a physical outburst toward her. Doesn"t matter if it was a gentle pull or whatever... it sound like you pulled her pretty hard to get your point across. Secondly... it happened in front of her friends, which is even worse. You can"t embarrass her in front of her friends or any close social group in public pretty much ever. You can bet that people saw that and later on asked each other "What the fuck was going on there with that guy?" She knows this as well, and it"s probably quite humiliating. Anything physical like that is just a no no, as in, don"t ever do that or you risk the relationship, especially if it"s early on.
I"m not justifying what she did, or even saying you intentions were rotten. Despite all the people saying man up about the pinches, yea, they can fucking HURT (but I suspect their sarcasm is geared more toward what you did after). But it was certainly a mistake to do that in front of a group of 20 people. I"ve been in situations like that as well sometimes, you just have to voice your concerns later to her and make sure she understands it so it doesn"t happen again.
No matter how much it pissed you off Heylel, you can"t ever do that in front of her friends. Ever. She has every right to be afraid of you, even if your intentions are harmless. For one thing, you had a physical outburst toward her. Doesn"t matter if it was a gentle pull or whatever... it sound like you pulled her pretty hard to get your point across. Secondly... it happened in front of her friends, which is even worse. You can"t embarrass her in front of her friends or any close social group in public pretty much ever. You can bet that people saw that and later on asked each other "What the fuck was going on there with that guy?" She knows this as well, and it"s probably quite humiliating. Anything physical like that is just a no no, as in, don"t ever do that or you risk the relationship, especially if it"s early on.
I"m not justifying what she did, or even saying you intentions were rotten. Despite all the people saying man up about the pinches, yea, they can fucking HURT (but I suspect their sarcasm is geared more toward what you did after). But it was certainly a mistake to do that in front of a group of 20 people. I"ve been in situations like that as well sometimes, you just have to voice your concerns later to her and make sure she understands it so it doesn"t happen again.
I ended up breaking up with a girl because she was acting differently to impress her friends. I don"t expect the same behavior as when we are alone, but trying to be "cool" is not really OK with me. No self-respecting woman puts up with her man being an ass to her to impress his friends; we have no cause to tolerate the same from them.
Oh I"ll agree some of them really overdo it and aren"t worth the frustration. Just seems to be a common with with most of them, except the inverts.
chthonic-anemos
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Is she one of these people raised by "hands-off" parents? Is she an only child? If she"s on a warpath then this could be the first time in her entire life that someone has seriously told her to stop being a brat. An unforgivable offence to an adult child.Heylel Teomim said:
Yeah. There"s a line, and if you have a reasonable one and act like an adult when you tell them they"re crossing it, and you respond to their needs in an adult-like fashion, you have a right to expect an adult-like response.Saladus said:
But people get what they pay for. What people look for and will tolerate in a relationship astounds me some times. But then I can look back with the same emotion at things I"ve put up with in the past. Everyone has to figure out what works for them. Being disrespected doesn"t work for me.
Yeah, it"s totally not okay coming from either side to act like a petulant child to either get attention or an ass to impress their friends. I maybe tolerated that kind of thing when I was younger but as an adult it"s not worth it.FoghornDeadhorn said:
If you don"t respect your partner enough to not be a dick to them (coming from either side) and especially to not listen to them when they tell you your behavior is unacceptable, well... I"m not into parenting grown adults.
This is why you do not get involved in anything but casual relationships with those who are significantly younger (mind,body,experience whatever).Heylel Teomim said:
Most chicks are crazy, but young ones do not possess the vocabulary or experience to communicate about it. But seriously a girl pinched a nerve cluster on your arm, haha. Her action really isn"t an issue, your reaction certainly is.
You do not sound invested, why deal with drama when you don"t have to? A sea of women who will not abuse your nerve clusters awaits!
