Ok, here"s an update.
It seems that the commotion I heard in the background was a guy getting his ass beaten who wasn"t taking no for an answer in the guest bedroom of a friend"s place after she had gone in there to attempt to sleep off the alcohol.
After she had called me, she proceeded to go outside, walk down a couple blocks, and wait for me in a drunken haze at a location we both knew, and was then promptly approached by a group of people who insisted on "seeing her home" (she was crying and in the street) and who actually persuaded her to get into the car with them. (This is in Midtown near Gray / Milam for those of you familiar with Houston) They then took her to my apartment and dumped her there for me to find. (I"m glad they actually helped her rather than doing god knows what to her) As to why her "friends" didn"t help her get home, I have no fucking clue; I can only assume she got into her particularly stubborn "I"m fine" state when she"s the least bit inebriated and then was (thankfully) smart enough to call me for help. (Although given how stubborn she gets, I"m particularly surprised the group, and not her friends, was able to persuade her to get into their car, maybe the stress of the moment altered her judgment? Who knows)
So when she decided to get into the car with the aforementioned group of people, she realized her phone had died (the damage I saw was superficial), thus she couldn"t call me to let me know that I didn"t need to come give her a ride, let alone inform me she had gotten into a car with a group of strangers while she was completely wasted.
After waiting at her friend"s place for a while with no luck, then deciding to wait it out at a nearby friend"s apartment for a response from her or her friends (I had left a note on the door to let me know what the hell had happened, thinking she had been there rather than down the street), I gave up on a response and headed home to find her there. I laid her face-down in case she started vomiting in her sleep, checked her pulse and breathing, then proceeded to reach out to friends and eventually post here on FoH. I only learned the course of events a few hours later once she came to (She was out COLD when I found her).
Files have been charged against the faggot at the party, and I officially have the epitome of high ground in this recent break-up, seeing as she felt so shitty about me going out of my way to help her in her time of need that she was in tears apologizing the rest of the following day.
And people wonder why I don"t drink.