Girls who broke your heart thread

It"s not a rape, it"s a snuggle struggle.

Surprise Sex?

(That"s no moon its a space station?)

Etoille said:

(That"s no moon its a space station?)

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Bro, is that what they said when you showed them your ass?

Edit: I thought you might take that the wrong way, especially because it"s kind of a fat joke or something, I guess, so I wanted to make an addition to my post. I actually like you and tend to agree with you on most things, but my internet persona and the company that I keep require certain things that I find to be in poor taste. So: fat joke.

001001102 said:

Bro, is that what they said when you showed them your ass?

Edit: I thought you might take that the wrong way, especially because it"s kind of a fat joke or something, I guess, so I wanted to make an addition to my post. I actually like you and tend to agree with you on most things, but my internet persona and the company that I keep require certain things that I find to be in poor taste. So: fat joke.

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It"s all good bro. I actually sometimes do things with the knowledge that its a sweet sweet opportunity for such a joke.

Heylel Teomim said:

That implies one of us had a greater investment in the evening than the other. I don"t think that was really the case. Not every date fits into categories of absolute disaster or amazing success. It was just a pleasant dinner between two people who ended up having very little in common. No harm done.

I guess by the metric of getting laid, then yeah I struck out. I didn"t really have that expectation though.

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I"m confused. You said you"d want to see her again but you"re saying that since there was zero chemistry it wasn"t neither a disaster or great date? I"m not sure what exactly you want. Like ... do you want to date the girl? Because even if you have any interest in dating a girl you simply have to build attraction on the first date. Guys seem to find many gray zones for dates where girls seem to have a more binary metric. "Do I want to date this guy or do I not?" Generally they don"t give you a ton of time and will instantly write you off if she"s leaning "No."

I"ve also never been told by a girl she wouldn"t love to go out again and I"ve sure as shit never heard back from quite a few.

Kirun said:

Confirmed White Knight.

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Shit"s racist yo.

Kirun said:

Confirmed White Knight.

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Bro, I take exception to that. The preferred term is "Brown Knight" or "Wakandan tryna holla at a thick-ass white girl" ya herd?

Heylel Teomim said:

I didn"t really have the expectation of getting laid, and because of that, I struck out.

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FTFY

Tenks said:

I"m confused. You said you"d want to see her again but you"re saying that since there was zero chemistry it wasn"t neither a disaster or great date? I"m not sure what exactly you want. Like ... do you want to date the girl? Because even if you have any interest in dating a girl you simply have to build attraction on the first date.

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I don"t necessarily agree with this. One date is hardly enough to get toknowanyone and I"ve certainly had more than one solid relationship that didn"t begin with instant attraction.

The Ancient said:

I don"t necessarily agree with this. One date is hardly enough to get toknowanyone and I"ve certainly had more than one solid relationship that didn"t begin with instant attraction.

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Pretty much this. What I meant was I wouldn"t have a problem hanging out with her again in the future. We had a good time; there wasn"t any problem keeping conversation going or any awkward lulls. It just wasn"t one of those "omg can"t wait to call her!" kind of nights when it ended.

I kinda went into it with the same mindset. Sortof an "eh, why not?" type thing.

Sure it can happen where you don"t build good attraction on the first date and it can turn into something more but it is putting yourself at a disadventagous position. If you have really any interest in pursuing it further you should try and kiss her. There are only two possible outcomes and that is she is accepting the other is she isn"t. If she isn"t accepting of it you weren"t going to get a second date anyways. If she is then you successfully made your intentions clear.

Dunno it just seems like one of those things you should just do if you have any interest in the chick. Like I said you can date a chick whom you never kiss-closed but you should still put yourself in the best position to see her more.

Give it another go. Even if its not gonna get your wick wet, good company is good company.

A story to tell the grandkids: Our first date was average, nice and casual, quick hug in the car and neither of us wanted anything more. But I figured I wouldn"t have had a problem hanging out with her again, but wouldn"t care if I never saw her either. So, shrug, saw her at a party later in the week and why not, right, still wasn"t sparks or chemistry, but it wasn"t bad, at least, still really casual and comfortable, and the conversation kept flowing despite little common ground (it"s why we still just talk about things we"ve seen on tv, kids). I had nothing to complain about, and, eh, why not, right, so we built a life together. It"s been an... average life, no real highs or passion, but hey, not a disaster either. A nearly apathetic recognition you have nothing to complain about.... that, kids, is what you should look for in a significant other.

Duuuuude, even Mormons have more exciting first-time-meetings than this shit. Even if it"s just a formal handshake and laughing when someone says "Oh Gall!" a little too passionately, they at least FEEL something for the boring things they"re doing.

You"ve found yourself in a dangerous catch-22. The only way you should still be into seeing this boring chick again is if she"s really hot. But if she"s really hot, you should be interested or excited. If you"re not gay and looking for a see-I"m-not-gay woman to marry for the sake of your parents, then why the fuck bother with this shit?

"Eh, why not?" If it does work out at least never tell HER that"s how you felt. There shouldn"t be instant, deep, unconditional attraction when you first meet someone... but you should be something more than "no complaints."

Only thing worse than being friend zoned is this sort of situation. You"ve been on a date. You hang in similar circles. Eventually you"ll just sort of find yourselves in a relationship because "eh, why not" and it"ll be boring as fuck and the worst kind of settling (worse than "I want babies, so I guess this is my chance" as it"ll just be giving up on finding someone that IS actually interested and passionate). It"s like a friend-zone where you"re bound to monogamy, and I recommend staying away.

Past posts:





So I"ve just been doing my thing and not initiating text convos. Not surprisingly she texted me last Saturday (St. Paddy"s) telling me where she was, get there soon etc. I had told her three times the night she was drunk, again the next morning driving her home, and I"m pretty sure in another text a couple days later that I would be out of town. I"m dealing with a real genius here. Or she"s incredibly self absorbed. Either way I text back that I"m in Fernie, she responds "booooo, guess I won"t be walking in to any walls tonight!" Well, at least she"s got a sense of humor! She responds with a picture of her and my bud"s GF in their Paddy"s gear, and that was about it since I was busy being awesome on my skis (and not giving myself whiplash by landing a 180, catching my back edge, and slamming my head in to the ground directly under the chairlift).

Text bomb below!
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Tuesday:

Her: Yo!

Me: Word.

Her: How"s it goin, how was ur weekend anyway

Me: Going shitty now, calculating inventory for year end to get accountants off my nuts.

Her: Yikes. Inventory sucks!!!

Me: Yeah, pain to put a price to a lot of the junk we have laying around.

Me: Weekend was good, took it fairly easy party wise, good skiing saturday, mediocre conditions and useless legs sunday

Her: Haha I see, well glad u had a good time.

Me: Thanks! What"s your sched like the next while?

Her: Relaxing tonight, bartending tomorrow, friday and saturday, working at (day job) until Saturday. This week is pretty crazy with work.

Me: No kidding! Up for hanging out Thursday?

Her: Maybe... can I let u know? I don"t like going out every night of the week. I want to say yes, but I know when I work lots I like to be able to just come home and chill on my nights off

Me: No, now or never!

Her: haha don"t pressure me. I"ll crumble.

Me: Sure, let me know. I don"t have any grand schemes, I could swing by your place and we just order in and lounge it, or something

Her: Okay, cool I"ll let u know for sure

Today:

Her: Hey! I got conned in to working a few hours tonight. So I can"t hang out, but if I"m not dead of exhaustion on Sunday maybe we can go for a drink or something!!


I likely won"t be able to hang Sunday, as my parents are having me over for a belated birthday dinner and I have a beer league game later on. Not going to reply until tonight or tomorrow just to let her stew. I don"t think she"s dicking me around intentionally, but on the other hand as has been said if she was genuinely interested you"d think it wouldn"t be such a pain to meet up again. That said, the score is almost even in terms of who has not been able to hang out with the other.

Gaz said:

Give it another go. Even if its not gonna get your wick wet, good company is good company.

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This

And chances are, if she is good looking, she has good looking friends. It"s amazing how much women talk to other women about these things, and if you have good qualities/stories, you have an edge with her friends even if she"s not the one

Well you"re handling it well. Though I don"t know how much you"re going to get her pants off talking about taking inventory.

Though I don"t think I could ever date a bartender. Only from a personality and an hours point of view.

This

And chances are, if she is good looking, she has good looking friends. It"s amazing how much women talk to other women about these things, and if you have good qualities/stories, you have an edge with her friends even if she"s not the one

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He already said they ran in similar circles so chances are he knows her friends. He also said they had nothing in common. How exactly would she make a good friend if they have nothing in common?

eomer, sounds like the most you"ll ever get to do is have drunken sex with her, but it sounds like you"re not into that.

so.

nothin to gain here boss

A bartender who either goes out a lot or considers going to work "going out" and who then also gets shitty drunk in public?

I"m thinking pass. Even drunken sex sounds like it would be awkward, with a 70% chance of her ending up crying in front of you because of it (25% WHILE having sex).

Does anyone have updates on Tarrent"s story with the girl he dated for 8 minutes, knocked up, married, she got crazy (go figure!) and he decided the stay together for the baby?