Girls who broke your heart thread

Wrathcaster said:

There"s a possibility that after being fuckbuddies so much that people have started to notice

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Worst kept secret.

Seths said:

moar stuffs

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If she"s the one who caused your "break" and everyone"s aware of it, she probably wants to back off and take a more permanent "break."

Is she on birth control? If not, do you guys use condoms? What are her beliefs on abortion and marriage? What are yours?

Dunno how old you guys are but sounds like you"re older, and afaik most unplanned pregnancies happen with younger people, usually mid 20"s or lower. If she is on birth control, has she been sick at all while you"ve been having your rendezvous, as in, on antibiotics? Have you noticed any physical and/or substantial emotional changes in her since you either started hooking up, or in the month or so you took a break?

My money"s not on pregnancy, but I could be wrong. Sounds more to me like she unintentionally got more emotionally invested in you than she intended, has been talking about you with friends/family more than you know, and got wigged out/overthought it and wanted to back off, or, again, that she"s dating someone else that you don"t know about. Does she text alot when you"re around her? If so, is she semi-shady about it or have you noticed she"s particularly protective of her phone/facebook? As in, you glance over and she wigs out about it? Is she hesitant to share details about what she does when she"s not around you, who she hangs out with, or what her plans are? All of those IMO would be a decent indication she"s banging/dating someone else. If that"s the case, she may not be able to make up her fucking mind about who she wants to take it to the next level with or the presence of someone else makes her more apt to be less involved physically and time-wise with you. That could be what she wants to "talk" about.

She"s not on birth control. We used condoms. She believes in abortion, so do I.

I"m older than she is, she"s mid 20"s, I"m 33. She hasn"t been sick that I"ve noticed, except this past weekend when I was out of town I noticed she called in sick saying she hadn"t slept in 3 days and wouldn"t be in on Monday. But I chalked it up to her saying she was going to video game all weekend.

She does check her phone constantly. Its usually been to play apps or games, but she does text a lot, she"s got more friends than I can count.

I broke it off with her twice, or tried to, before this last one. This last one was her suggesting we take a break since I was frustrated with the situation and she just wasn"t ready to be in a relationship yet.

In all likelyhood I"m going to go with she"s dating someone else and felt the need to try and tell me. Why I don"t exactly know, but I figure that"s probably what it was. If it was something more serious I have to think she would have forced an actual conversation by this point.

Give that punjabi punter a hook to the gob to sort her out.

Well I ended up having a wingman, albeit an insanely drunk one. He had a girlfriend but neither chick knew that, so he kept the virgin busy for most of the night and she disappeared after a while. Unfortunately, I was outside the bar smoking with another chick, a friend of mine, when partner girl and hindu virgin walked up, and the two of us hang out alot so partner girl got it in her head that I was banging my friend (I"m not). So partner girl was pissy all night, I dealt with the problem by getting hammered drunk and eventually she left with her roomie.

I woke up in bed with an entirely different indian girl (not the virgin, another indian chick) and no memory. She made me scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, and I left shortly thereafter, never to return again.

Not quite how I expected the night to turn out, but can"t really complain.

Heylel Teomim said:

Got shot down with intern girl. Ah well, was worth a try.

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So apparently I didn"t get shot down after all. At least, not in a "not interested" sense. Ended up fooling around Friday night at my friend"s house, and found out her license for her job could be revoked for dating a co-worker (her work situation is a lot more complex than mine). She"s changing jobs in a month or so, at which point that"s no longer the case.

I met her best friend, who is one of those people you instantly connect and make friends with. Kinda gives me the inside track I suppose, since I"ve been "vetted". She was assigned (by the girl) the job of giving me the green light. I guess she was afraid she"d sent the wrong signals or something. I don"t think her friend was supposed to be so up front about it, but she basically said "yeah, [girl] told me I have to casually hint not to worry that you"ve been friend zoned. This is me hinting."

So, maybe it goes somewhere and maybe it doesn"t. I"m trying not to let myself get too invested but I do have to admit she"s an awful lot of fun. The job thing complicates it all.

So here"s the conclusion to my story...

So I left work a little early Friday and was chilling at home with my puppy when I got a message from her asking if I was coming back to work. I said I didn"t think so, so she asked if she could stop by to talk after work. She said don"t worry its nothing "Ginormous". So I said sure....dun dun dun...

She comes over for a few minutes and I get the following:

"4 months ago when we started dating and I told you I had just gotten out of a relationship I lied. I"ve been in a relationship the whole time. And I"m engaged. I know you probably hate me, and never want to see or speak to me again."

I was pissed, and a little hurt, but didn"t really know what to say to that. It wasn"t one of the possibilities that I had prepared for. So I said nothing. Got up, put the puppy in her kenel, grabbed my keys and walked to the door and held it open asking her to leave. She asked me to say something and I just said "What can I say to that? What do you want me to say to that?"

So she got up and said ok bye, I understand. Then hands me a letter appologizing to my mother of all things. Shes spoken to my mother like 3 times and nothing more than "Hi!" as she steals my keyboard when I"m chatting to my mom through messenger at work. I walk out to my car and she just says "have a nice life." Shuts her car door and leaves like she"s mad at me or something of all things...

/shakes head

I think this is the point where I finally give up trying to understand women or resign myself to making money and living single with lots of toys and my dog.

/discuss

Good plan

Call a friend, hit up a bar. You"ve got every justification to decompress.

I encountered a slightly similar girl years ago. Ages were reversed; I was 22, she was 27. We"d been seeing each other a few months and her birthday was approaching. I"d made dinner reservations for Saturday, and late Friday I get a text that her dad bought her a plane ticket home for her birthday and she"d have to cancel. After that, she completely vanished. No calls, no text, nothing.

I was pretty broken up for a week or so, then mostly just pissed. Life went on, though. Maybe six months later, I get a call out of the blue that she wants to meet me and talk. Curiosity got the better of me where she"d gone (even though I was pretty sure I already knew), so I went and had a cup of coffee with her. Turns out she"d really had a boyfriend back home the whole time, and the LTR thing wasn"t really working for her until that weekend she vanished. Now six months later, she"s pregnant and the guy still lives out of town so she"s panicking and doesn"t know what to do.

I"d like to say I felt a little bit of karmic vindication, but it was a shitty situation all around that ended up in her aborting some other dude"s kid. It"s hard to feel smug about that. I just told her good luck, and never talked to her again. She called a time or two, but I wasn"t about to even give myself the chance to be invested in shit like that.

Seths said:

So here"s the conclusion to my story...

So I left work a little early Friday and was chilling at home with my puppy when I got a message from her asking if I was coming back to work. I said I didn"t think so, so she asked if she could stop by to talk after work. She said don"t worry its nothing "Ginormous". So I said sure....dun dun dun...

She comes over for a few minutes and I get the following:

"4 months ago when we started dating and I told you I had just gotten out of a relationship I lied. I"ve been in a relationship the whole time. And I"m engaged. I know you probably hate me, and never want to see or speak to me again."

I was pissed, and a little hurt, but didn"t really know what to say to that. It wasn"t one of the possibilities that I had prepared for. So I said nothing. Got up, put the puppy in her kenel, grabbed my keys and walked to the door and held it open asking her to leave. She asked me to say something and I just said "What can I say to that? What do you want me to say to that?"

So she got up and said ok bye, I understand. Then hands me a letter appologizing to my mother of all things. Shes spoken to my mother like 3 times and nothing more than "Hi!" as she steals my keyboard when I"m chatting to my mom through messenger at work. I walk out to my car and she just says "have a nice life." Shuts her car door and leaves like she"s mad at me or something of all things...

/shakes head

I think this is the point where I finally give up trying to understand women or resign myself to making money and living single with lots of toys and my dog.

/discuss

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This is where you"re supposed to get acquainted with her fiance and blackmail her for more sex/money/whatever.

It sucks and I"ve thought about getting vindictive, but I"m not angry really just disgusted. I hate cheaters, and now she"s turned me into "the other guy" and I just feel kinda gross about it all.

She"s the one who put you in that position. That"s a far cry from the type of person who goes after off-market women because of the thrill or the challenge. I wouldn"t let it bother you.

Seths said:

/discuss

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Not trying to be a dick here, but how in the hell do you work with someone that you"re also "dating" or at least fuck buddies with for 3-4 months and not know she"s still in a relationship, let alone engaged? Did she not have any other co-workers she was semi-friends with that would have known what"s up? Did she live with the guy? How long had they been engaged and/or dating before that? Had you not ever hung out with any of her out-of-work friends? I keep hearing that Chris Rock bit in my head where he says if a chick hasn"t met a dude"s friends, that she ain"t his girlfriend.

I dunno, I just find it hard to believe. But yeah, bitches be crazy.

Eomer said:

Not trying to be a dick here, but how in the hell do you work with someone that you"re also "dating" or at least fuck buddies with for 3-4 months and not know she"s still in a relationship, let alone engaged? Did she not have any other co-workers she was semi-friends with that would have known what"s up?

I dunno, I just find it hard to believe. But yeah, bitches be crazy.

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One of my co-workers suspected apparently and tried to tell me but she said "whats wrong with you, where"s your "head" at?" Instead of you know, saying "hey I think she"s already with someone". I thought she was just warning me about the uncomfortablness of an office romance not working out, not that she might already be dating someone else. No one else said anything other than keep it professional at work. She hadn"t tried being friends with anyone else, she tried spending all her work time around me.

I also wasn"t paying attention to my instincts about her constantly on the phone texting, and not wanting to hang out after work.

I"ll take my share of the blame in this for not reading the signs better.

Not trying to "blame" anyone, I don"t think you should feel any guilt that you were "the other man" in any way, shape or form. But like I said, I just have a hard time believing that it went on for that long and you were honestly oblivious to it. Ignorance is bliss I guess!

Also, was the "where"s your head at" co-worker black? I picture them black. Back to Chris Rock...

You need to tattle on that bitch. Chics like that get away with to much.

Grumpus said:

You need to tattle on that bitch. Chics like that get away with to much.

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While the vindication would be nice, it would also mean maintaining some kind of ties that are best severed. She"ll just continue fucking over the other guy, and the next guy after that, and the next guy...