Girls who broke your heart thread

ham said:

Eomer share the details, you can update the story later!

girl I"m talking to invited me to go watch one of those free outdoors movies with her and her gay friend again yesterday, and then a lot of people I knew ended up showing up and made a big crowd where we all were. Not that an outdoor movie is the place to go Rico Suave, but just getting the invite was the bonus. She"s outgoing but has an underlying shyness to her I can pick up on. I"m either "in" already or I"ve launched myself so far into the friendzone in the shortest amount of time possible that there"s no chance of getting out. I need a pure 1 on 1, but as mentioned, don"t want to push things too hard, even when that comes up, since I have a class with her all semester. This might be one of the few times Eomer"s approach could be useful. Well not full Eomer

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I don"t understand this. How many times has the Eomer approach worked for you? Sounds like she suspects you"re gay at this point and is trying to set you up with her gay pal.

Seriously, unless this chick just ended an abusive, multi-year relationship, you need to be actively pursuing her. Otherwise, Drinsic is spot on and she"s going to think you"re gay or uninterested or lacking self-confidence. Girls expect you to chase after them. We"ve been doing it for millenia, after all.

Sense she"s shy? Then start making bold moves now. And for God"s sake don"t fucking ask her gay friend if she likes you or if you have a shot or any of that grade school shit.

Being "noble" and waiting until the "right time" to make your move is going to land you squarely in the friend zone (honestly, we shouldn"t even be calling it the friend zone, more like the "Guy who makes me feel better about myself since we never hang out unless and until I need an esteem boost" zone) while the other guy swoops in for the kill.

As for Eomer, I have this sinking suspicion that he went out and bought his neighbor some horribly inappropriate and expensive housegift (like Kimono 4.0) and he"s just waiting for her to serve him the restraining orders.

Seethe said:

Seriously, unless this chick just ended an abusive, multi-year relationship, you need to be actively pursuing her.

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She did and as mentioned, I just got out of a 2 year relationship. I actually like the girl though so I"m not just trying to bang her, I have other people I can call for that. That"s why. She"s relationship material, I just don"t want one, maybe that"s why I"m pussyfooting. You guys are right though. Though I tend not to hang around if I end up in a friend zone esque situation, I have enough friends Her roommate did text me that I"m finally pursuing a girl who is the right height for me (I"m over 6" and my ex was 5") - so I think my intentions are pretty clear if even she picked up on it (I just replied with haha). She didn"t invite any other dudes to the film and she definitely knows I"m not gay (on account on being roommates with my ex"s bff as mentioned). It"s a weird situation because I"m not sure how aggressive to be. I feel the need to make myself "unavailable" already.

Again, I only met this girl Friday heh. I don"t think anything is actually absolute at this point either way.

Eomer approach has worked before, but it was with a girl who just generally didn"t go out at all and was very naive and reserved.

ham said:

She did and as mentioned, I just got out of a 2 year relationship. I actually like the girl though so I"m not just trying to bang her, I have other people I can call for that. That"s why. She"s relationship material, I just don"t want one, maybe that"s why I"m pussyfooting. You guys are right though. Though I tend not to hang around if I end up in a friend zone esque situation, I have enough friends Her roommate did text me that I"m finally pursuing a girl who is the right height for me (I"m over 6" and my ex was 5") - so I think my intentions are pretty clear if even she picked up on it (I just replied with haha).

Again, I only met this girl Friday heh. I don"t think anything is actually absolute at this point either way.

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You say she"s relationship material but you"re not ready for one just yet? Then what"s the problem? Is your intention to keep her on the hook until you are ready for another relationship? That"s beyond pussyfooting, but I"d honestly be impressed if you could walk that tightrope for any length of time.

Good point. I guess my expectations are pretty unfair from the getgo and should decide what"s what.

Kirun said:

No, she isn"t.

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Because she just got out of everyone was or has ever been in one?

Who cares if you have a class with a chick? It"s only bad if you suspect you and/or she will go full retarded fatal-attraction at some point. If you fear one or both of you will go this route, then you should push hard to try to hit it. Worst case scenario is she flips out sooner rather than later (and either avoids you in class or drops it, it"s just a class) or you end up all bitter and douchy and give her the evil eye all class.

But seriously, if you don"t suspect either of you are going to melt down, then there"s no point in waiting and seeing what happens as that greatly increases your risk of being friend zoned.

Basically, if bitch crazy, she gonna be crazy no matter what you do, so push hard and you"ll either get get some or she"ll go away before you waste too much time. If she"s not crazy, stop waiting around and making her feel like you think she is crazy and are being cautious. Make a move, just not a desperate, pushy one.

Seethe said:

As for Eomer, I have this sinking suspicion that he went out and bought his neighbor some horribly inappropriate and expensive housegift (like Kimono 4.0) and he"s just waiting for her to serve him the restraining orders.

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lol, no, nothing that bad. Patience children.

She invited you out somewhere with her gay friend. Yeah that"s no good.

A girl who was in a physically abusing relationship is not relationship material...especially one who openly tells you about it.

A girl who is relationship material woulda ended it the second he hit her. Or, if she made a mistake and falsely believed he"d change, and now realizes that was the wrong call, she"d be hiding that story like herpes until she"s close enough to someone where sharing that sorta thing and a "now I"m different and learned from it" conversation would be pertinent.

Awlbiste said:

She invited you out somewhere with her gay friend. Yeah that"s no good.

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Yeah not following that whole deal.

Maybe she wanted to tag team Ham with the gay?

Awlbiste said:

She invited you out somewhere with her gay friend. Yeah that"s no good.

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lol what? Had I been invited out with a straight dude I would"ve thought it was way worse. Her gay friend lives in the same complex as her, wanted to go to miller outdoor, so she sent me a text to see if I"d come with. I"m starting to wonder if some of you guys have seen women before the sun goes down

@Dabamf: not physically abusing. Her ex boyfriend is a really angry and verbally abusive guy though

Either way, I"m going to be more aggressive, but not force the action, this weekend. I"d rather know, and then be on with it or done with it. Again, met her 5 days ago lol. I"m not trying to fist her in the parking lot on day 7, you guys need to calm your dicks sometimes

It"s not a particularly great sign, is what I"m saying.

ham said:

I"m not trying to fist her in the parking lot on day 7, you guys need to calm your dicks sometimes

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To be fair, we have a large number of yoga pants rapists in these parts. And yoga pants are only getting more popular.

Ah my bad I thought I read physically abusive earlier.

Watch the tag team Ham. Unless your into that..then nevermind

Yeah actually the third day I hung out with her she told me that. She said he was really nice and stuff at first then just started getting angrier as time went on and was breaking shit or something. Anyway I don"t know enough about any of that to have a real opinion on it

She asked if she could pick something up she left at my place today (she lives less than a mile away) but I said I"d bring it over later. I walked over there, assuming I was just dropping and going and she asked if I wanted to order a pizza and watch a movie - I thought finally some alone time but within minutes of agreeing her roommate and her boyfriend came home and wanted to get in on the festivities. So one pizza became two pizzas and two people on a couch became four. Very loose butthole, I shouldn"t have gone