I thought my situation was fucked. Nice to know it"s not that bad, it hasn"t reached Japanese horror movie levels yet.ham said:
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
- Start date
Yep, pretty much...Dabamf said:
I"m really bad at the whole women thing, I don"t meet many women which compounds the problem. All of my female friends hang out with guys mostly and the few that do have a large group of female friends have them from college/hometown type settings so they"re typically far away. Plus all the places I go with friends where women typically would be (lake/beach/bars/Boston) are 25-50 miles away so I just don"t even bother half the time.
On top of that I"m back asswards: I am totally uninterested in strangers, which makes piquing their interest easy, but then I don"t engage them enough and they just give up before I care enough to actually interact and keep their attention. IE, I pre-date before I ask women out, I have to know enough that it"s not a waste of time before I give it a chance. It"s a shitty habit and doesn"t work often with the personality types I"m attracted to. For instance, I would never, ever, just bump into a cute chick working someplace then ask for their number, even if they are obviously flirting with me. I"m strictly business 100% of the time and it"s killing me because it takes me forever to relax around people and means I miss 100% of any random opportunities.
I don"t really enjoy the bar scene because I don"t drink very much and to be honest, it"s really, really trashy around here. On top of that, the online dating sites are full of the same trash. So, meh. I don"t know anymore.
Oh well, fuck it, I"ll just work more like I usually do.
Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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If you don"t have a new influx of people in your circle from time to time, you should find other ways to meet new people. The other option is be bored and slowly become depressed because every day is the same and you know tomorrow will be the same still.Palum said:
I was lonely as hell for a while in Korea. My terrible failings are partially documented here. At some point I joined a hiking group on meetupdotcom that did weekend trips to various small mountains around the country. I met a few cool people there, and ended up dating one girl from there for 8 months. I should have done more trips, but you fall into laziness when there"s a routine. Most of my friends while I was there had met most of their friends through some activity, whether it was a poker game, soccer league, work training, etc. I also never appreciated how hugely being exposed to new people on a regular basis increased your social circle. My closest friend there I met at the birthday party of another friend, who I met through another friend while at a festival, who I met through another friend that had just started working with her. When he left, I became closer with a guy I met through him (by probability alone he had to be Kevin Bacon in disguise). By the end, every one of my friends was through a chain of like 3 other people. Yet I only had a handful of friends because the population of normal foreigners in Korea is like 2.5. I never imagined how many new friends (and associated with that, often a couple new girls) you meet through being constantly exposed to new people.
The beauty of hiking in particular is you spend an entire day or 2 with the same people, and you"re all beat down from exhaustion which lowers your social inhibition. And it is well documented that those kinds of activities quickly bond people, and that whole thing combined makes meeting people a million times easier. Meet new people for new friends, new friends for more girls around. Or just meet girls there. People always say "get a hobby!" like it"ll solve all your problems. It won"t. But it"ll help a lot from time to time, and help a little bit always. Eomer is/was a ski guide, which is much cooler, but we don"t all live in the arctic circle. God knows how many vaginas that role spoon-fed him.
Really any hobby you may have has an associated group you could find to meet people through. There are also rec sports leagues for every sport in every medium sized city or suburb. If you don"t have a specific hobby, pick from a list of a billion outdoor activities (because those are generic-ly fun for everyone), and start doing that.
And if you"re bad with girls, that just means you have less practice than some other people. Being the way you described (which is a lot like me, so I know what you mean) makes it harder to naturally get that practice because you don"t always want it. But generally increasing the amount of socializing you do with strangers, through the ways I listed above for example, will improve skill with girls too, and the better you get, the more fun it is, and the more you want to do it.
If you"re uncomfortable going to something where you know no one, my ex (the same one I mentioned before) had the simplest line that I"ll always remember, and it is brilliant: "If you constantly push yourself just outside your comfort zone, your comfort zone will constantly expand [and soon cover all the things you were previously uncomfortable with]." Edit for Engrish
/therapy
I thought I quit this thread. What happened. Aychamo get out of my brain
P.S. Lost, first of all, GOOD JOB ON DATING AN ASIAN. Second, where is she from? +1 point for Southeast Asian, +2 for Korean or Japanese, +0.5 for Chinese. Third, what you aren"t understanding is that there is likely a cultural barrier here. Is she first generation born in USA or off the boat? What you and I and everyone sees as stalker murderous behavior from her ex, is more likely just a little bit weird and too much from her perspective. I know from being raised in the US that behavior is insane to me, but the part of me that adjusted to Asian life doesn"t think it"s that weird. Girls aren"t as direct or assertive, men have more freedom to control women and do as they wish, and lots of other things you can"t really put into words.
Obviously you gotta be firm about making her change the locks and making sure this guy stays away, but if you"re freaking out because you think it means she"s crazy or whatever, she"s probably not. There"s probably a lot of cultural subtleties at play that you have no idea about. You gotta adjust to the way you think of normal and abnormal when dating someone from another culture. It"s a weird and difficult adjustment, but don"t fuck it up, because SHE FUCKING ASIAN DAWG
P.S. If she"s 2nd generation, bitch be crazy.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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So that"s what I"ve been doing.Seananigans said:
Not nearly as many as I should have had really. I look back and I"m like "yeah, probably should have hit more chicks." The trips, no joke, were generally 75/25 guys to girls, but even then being the guide at the front of the bus with the PA was fucking gold.Dabamf said:
To be clear, I wasn"t a ski guide. I didn"t like, teach people how to ski or take them around the mountain unless they were really good and fun to ride with. I was a tour guide on bus trips where the whole idea is you get fucking hammered on the 7 hour ride down on Friday, wake up hung, maybe make it to the hill, vomit off a chair lift, hit the hot tub at 4pm with a six pack, skip dinner, go on a pub crawl till 2am, wake up hung, vomit off a chair lift, get on the bus at 3pm and go in to a coma for the ride home.
But random pussy aside, the biggest thing it did for me was first of all get me out of a bit of a shell I was in, and introduced me to a group of 20-30 people (the other guides) all around my age, who do the same stuff I do. Hiking, biking, camping, traveling, skiing, motorcycles, and so on. During the time I was doing it, my usual group of friends was large and doing lots of fun stuff, but now that they and I are in our early 30"s most have settled down a lot. So I"ve got this handy backup group of friends, and friends of friends, from my tourguiding days that are up to shit pretty much every weekend. It"s really worked out awesome. Only downside is the company I was guiding with had been in a slow death spiral the past couple years and just got bought out by the competition, so it"s looking like those days are probably over. I"d actually quit guiding last December due to some excessive partying I did on the first trip of the year and not feeling like cleaning up the mess I"d made, but I was still going as a customer or semi-co-guide through the season. Ah well, was getting too old for it anyway.
I hear this from the bitch I have the good sense to walk the fuck away:
I did its over now but we drank cooked baked told highly inappropriate jokes huffed helium with my kids smoked out and laughed I missed that
I did its over now but we drank cooked baked told highly inappropriate jokes huffed helium with my kids smoked out and laughed I missed that
You acted reasonable. She was being unreasonable AND she still cares about him. If she didn"t care about him, she wouldn"t be defending his behavior. She obviously hasn"t fully moved on.lost said:
Conversely, if you only do what"s comfortable (going to work, going home, eating out at a fast food place, sleeping) eventually the things you do "least" often will drop off your comfort list as well, and soon you"ll find yourself bothered by talking to people at work or unable/willing to talk to strangers working at a restaurant...Dabamf said:
Then at one point you start storing your piss in mason jars and refuse to take out your trash....
It"s a vicious cycle. Instead of dropping activities that make you feel uncomfortable, you should be trying to add new ones.
Combing through online dating profiles is a skill, as is sex. It becomes easier the more you do it. You can get it down to a science... I mean, this is an mmo-forum, so to make a bad analogy, it"s like learning how to clear trash before a raid boss... it"s boring, but it shouldn"t be something you have to think too hard about. And it"s necessary if you want to slay the raid boss (getting a date) and get the ph4t lewtz (touching boobies)
Yea, unfortunately the hobbies I have tend to be pretty uninteresting to other people or don"t involve actually meeting other people. I play the guitar, fly airplanes, ski, golf, hiking, running and enjoy various other things that I don"t get to do as often as I"d like such as horseback riding, shooting, etc. but meh. But even when I"m doing something like going skiing with friends, there"s a huge pile of 800 million people on the mountain and everyone is hurrying to get back in line constantly with their tour bus full of friends then leaves. I was thinking about signing up for some 5Ks this fall and I might meet people, but it"s to actually push myself to get under 20 on my time. Most people walk like an idiot for 50 minutes for the free beer so don"t know what the fuck good that will do either.Dabamf said:
And lol @ the work and jerk. If I only had the time...
Alex
Still a Music Elitist
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Four of those activities can easily become social activities. Joining a band is a great way to meet new people. Plus, you"re in a band so for the whole time you"re on stage you"re garnering the attention of everyone in the room at least partially. Use meetup.com to find groups for skiing, golf and hiking. Granted, you"ll meet mostly dudes in golf, but at least you"ll expand your social circles and who knows who you may meet through friends you make.Palum said:
Yo I Just wrote a giant paragraph specifically about how hiking is a great way to meet people. Join a group. And we also just talked about Eomer being a bus guide for long distance ski trips and how easy that was. You don"t go to these places and start approaching strangers with their friends. You join a group that goes there together.Palum said:
Either that or she"s AsianAntarius said:
You"re the rebound guy. Enjoy the sex and get out before he goes crazy, or she relapses.lost said:
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This chick is viet/swedish, previous chick was viet, previous chick was korean, and one before that was laus lol. I"ve messed with some other asians but yeah, love them asian girls. This one"s got D"s too which is unusual, and she is way more americanized than most asian girls I date.Dabamf said:
Anywho, yes she was born in the US, I never considered the cultural barrier but yeah.. she still won"t call the cops to have it officially documented or what not. She claims to have called his cousin who is a cop to have him speak to the nutso.
She"s also claimed that he is moving Sept 1st, so I"ve just said okay when I see proof then we can continue things but I"m still unsure of how you"re defending his record over our safety.
I"m not sure if I"ll ever get over the fact she refuses to call the cops on the guy after he threatened to hurt her the previous time when she did call the cops. But as this isn"t a gf, I might just play around a bit more until I find a new girl. She"s definitely not girlfriend material for me which is why I"m not stressing much over it, just saying I wont be sleeping over there until that creeper moves. I do think she is crazy, any guy here knows if that shit happened with an ex gf and your girl was freakin out, you"d be doin all you could to reassure your new gf she"s safe etc. I don"t feel this girl has done that, as I said she didnt just say omg lets call the cops or I"m getting my locks changed. It was me saying :you need to do this, her:but hes a nice guy me: no you need to change the locks before I ever cme over here again.
She just doesnt seem to get it and to me that makes her lose attraction in my eyes, just keeps arguing saying Im trying to control her and she cares too much for me but won"t ruin his record since hes moving away and just got a new engineering job etc etc.
I"m over it, just going to have fun and look for new fishies
Actually just checked it out and there"s almost nothing around here unless people just don"t RSVP? Maybe skiing will be better...AlexTheDictator said:
Ruhl said:
Haha man, what a story, he made this thread good again.ham said:
As far as me, I just fucked my first Asian girl. She is Korean and was raised in A US military family. I think she is half white or something. The sex was damn good and she bit/sucked the fuck out of my lips to the point my bottom lip was swollen and my top lip was barely bleeding and red on the inside. When I was eating her out she kept moving her hips up so my mouth was on her ass and I would move back to her pussy. After a few times dodging that she said lick my ass and I got up and put my cock in. Raw as usual for me these days...sigh...
While screwing she tried to put her finger in my ass a few times too and I brushed it aside. Since she tried all that shit with me I tried putting it in her ass and she said "uh uh" haha. It was damn good but she smokes and has a kid so I"m not sure how much I"ll hang out with her. I"m an ass man so Asians aren"t on my radar but her ass was decent naked and she sort of had something to grab onto. When I turned on the lights I was saying damn you look good in those panties and she said "I"m actually shy". I said wtf you"re shy? You wanted me to lick your ass and tried to stick a finger in mine, that"s shit"s not shy. I also called her out on all that and not letting me fuck her in the ass lol. All the Asian talk made me want to share.
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Seoul is 1.25 world yo. And no I moved away from paradise.
*If you start sucking your own cum out of a girl, you"ve gone to far.
I don"t know why guys are so afraid of ass play. Lick her ass. It"s probably clean. Who cares. You"re not gonna die, and if she wants you to, she"ll love it. And let her put her god damn finger in your ass too. Maybe you don"t like it, but maybe you like it so much you start fucking guys just to amplify it. Be open to experiment.*Kenadul said:
*If you start sucking your own cum out of a girl, you"ve gone to far.