Girls who broke your heart thread
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wamphyr
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Let me dissagree a bit. Women love passionate men. You must show her that you are Passionate, but NOT WITH HER. When you are with her, show PASSION towards something, just not her. Not another woman, of course, but an ideea, a political topic, your work, world hunger, whatever. Not computer games, that used to be a NO NO, but who knows, women might move past that someday, if they dont already had in the western countries.Kirun said:
Make her laugh, but NOT AT YOUR EXPENSE. A little self-deprecating humour doesnt hurt, but just A LITTLE.
Sutekh
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No, uninterested is what you should be shooting for. You"re friends with her, she knows you know who she is, and she knows who you are. She also knows you want her. Now if you just don"t give a fuck for a week or two, that"s going to bother her that you no longer want her and she"s going to try to get you back, this is the point where you can fuck her.Kirun said:
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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haha, nope. Edmonton is very blue collar, and the blue collar people make as much or more money than the white collar people, so in general for females round here it"s not really a turn-off for a guy to be in the trades. Some are going to be more picky than others, naturally. And of course, it"s not like I"m an actual plumber anyways.Foler said:
I"ve heard the chicks in Calgary are way the fuck more pretentious and picky about that kind of thing, from multiple people. Apparently a lot of chicks there damn near interview guys on the first date about who they work for, what their promotion prospects are, where they live, what they drive etc. They want some of that sweet, sweet oil money.
I don"t think she was a "whore" type, but from the sounds of it she"s been single for awhile and was perhaps looking for an itch to get scratched. Also, she drank somewhere around 15-20 beers, I"m sure that helped things along. And no, I don"t think I was some kind of smooth operator. Within a few minutes of having met her it was fairly apparent that it was on, I just had to not fuck things up.popsicledeath said:
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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Yeah, and Tuco"s an engineerEomer said:
I dunno man. My wife has this friend who says stuff like "How come every time I go camping I end up naked?"
It"s because you"re a whore, sweetie. It"s also why you bought fake tits despite already looking like barbie, and now you look like you"re smuggling cantaloupes.
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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in?dif?fer?ence/in'dif(?)r?ns/Sutekh said:
Noun:
Lack of interest,concern, or sympathy: "his pretended indifference to criticism".
The bolded part is what is important. You need to put off the attitude that if you guys end up fucking, cool. If not, that"s cool too. You don"t really care one way or another because there"s plenty of other women out there. Women go fucking bananas when they realize that you aren"t 100% set on them.
Think of it a bit like a car salesmen. Instead of trying to sell ourselves to women and why we would be such a great catch(which is the mistake men most often make), you need to try and make the woman sell herself toyou.
Yep ^
I"m currently dating someone semi seriously, she friend zoned me, so I just did what I said earlier, she came back and was like "ok, forgive me, I find you very attractive, etc".
Well, she"s a fair deal younger than me, old enough to date seriously but still hasn"t fully exited her wild stages yet. Anyways, I"m pretty upfront about what I"m looking for in a relationship so when it finally dawned on her that she was falling for me and this "could" be her last relationship, she insisted we slow things down and have an open relationship.
I was like fine, whatever, cause I knew exactly how this was going to end.
Over the next several weeks she saw pictures of me out with other women, saw them posting comments on my facebook, etc( most of you guys are using social media wrong!). Itquickly dawned on her that she wasn"t seeing anyone, but I obviously had a ton of options and that our "open" status clearly benefited me significantly more than her.
Cue her basically begging me to go to being exclusive, but we can stay open if I want; since it was her idea and wouldn"t be "fair" to change so abruptly.
She was in a position where she knew she felt she had to sell herself to me in an epic way, and she did.
This is the situation most good men should be striving for. As Kirun points out, a I know from experience, just actually being an incredibly desirable mate is not enough, women will still treat you like trash and expect the world despite that, if they think they"re in control.
Dudes with no job and no prospects pull that shit off, so pretty much anyone can...long as they understand you"re the one settling for them, they"ll feel lucky to have you.
Frankly I feel bad, but being honest and open never got me anything but a heartache, you have to play the game, so play it like a master.
I"m currently dating someone semi seriously, she friend zoned me, so I just did what I said earlier, she came back and was like "ok, forgive me, I find you very attractive, etc".
Well, she"s a fair deal younger than me, old enough to date seriously but still hasn"t fully exited her wild stages yet. Anyways, I"m pretty upfront about what I"m looking for in a relationship so when it finally dawned on her that she was falling for me and this "could" be her last relationship, she insisted we slow things down and have an open relationship.
I was like fine, whatever, cause I knew exactly how this was going to end.
Over the next several weeks she saw pictures of me out with other women, saw them posting comments on my facebook, etc( most of you guys are using social media wrong!). Itquickly dawned on her that she wasn"t seeing anyone, but I obviously had a ton of options and that our "open" status clearly benefited me significantly more than her.
Cue her basically begging me to go to being exclusive, but we can stay open if I want; since it was her idea and wouldn"t be "fair" to change so abruptly.
She was in a position where she knew she felt she had to sell herself to me in an epic way, and she did.
This is the situation most good men should be striving for. As Kirun points out, a I know from experience, just actually being an incredibly desirable mate is not enough, women will still treat you like trash and expect the world despite that, if they think they"re in control.
Dudes with no job and no prospects pull that shit off, so pretty much anyone can...long as they understand you"re the one settling for them, they"ll feel lucky to have you.
Frankly I feel bad, but being honest and open never got me anything but a heartache, you have to play the game, so play it like a master.
Sometimes it"s hard to fathom a world in which our experiences aren"t universal truths, especially when people typically seek out other people with similar values in order to reinforce what we believe to be true. Perhaps we could recognize that, despite the community we"re a part of here, your experiences aren"t those of everyone, and that your situation is perhaps not what "all" um, "good men," should be striving for.Darus Grey said:
I know it"s not as much fun to discuss or as easy to imagine, but many people are well-adjusted and not bumbling fools hurting themselves in a world full of sharp elbows. For a lot of people (many of whom are enjoying a happy, stable life and relationship) the world isn"t one long mind-fuck vs the opposite sex, nor a mission to protect themselves from all the shit that happened to them in the past, nor a huge battle over control, nor even just one long quest to slay pussy (before it slays you? Why so scared?!).
You know, you make a good point, though, sometimes just being a desirable mate isn"t enough. You also sometimes, with chicks that aren"t head-cases, have to not be a sociopath. I also agree, though, that in such situations being even more of a sociopath is often the best way to succeed at not seemingly like one is actually a sociopath.
"Cmon, baby, would a sociopath really STILL be telling you everything you want to hear? Wouldn"t a sociopath have given up already?!"
This is gonna get pretty gay and heavy, guys, but: I believe a boy becomes a man when they meet someone they not longer have to play the game to get someone to care about them.... and when they don"t read that and think "the fuck, I don"t WANT/NEED anyone to care about me, I just wants some pussy!" No, you want love, you"re still just too scared of it.
Maybe you should take your own advice, champ. If, like you, I wanted my relationships to be a re-enactment of a zach braff movie, guess what, I already know how to do that and don"t need any goddamn advice.popsicledeath said:
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Lol settled for? Wait til she gets the idea in her head that I can easily get something better than her.
But that"s beside the point, so don"t get fixated on two words just so you can find something to argue about. You defined indifferent in a post that was quoted and expanded on, that I than quoted and expanded on... obviously what I was saying is being indifferent = sociopath. /eyerollKirun said:
Posting a bunch of stuff about trying really, really hard to pretend you"re indifferent and having to manipulate relationships because one can"t get on normally with the opposite sex because all women are out to get a guy and ALL guys... and MY experiences... and fuck all women, man, it"s a huge game... and then admitting you"re basically just afraid to get hurt again like in the past so play the game.
Yeah, because Darus Grey suuuuure sounds like he"s a pro at playing the indifferent card.
Just because someone quoted you, agreeing, then went off on a tangent doesn"t mean you have to defend them. Unless you"re best buds, then I get it. You"re smarter than trying to make connections nobody else was making but you for the sake of arguing.
And sorry, but:
is pretty classic sociopathy. Saying one feels bad doing the things they wouldn"t do if they actually felt bad? Being aware of how they"re manipulating people/situations, and that they should feel bad about it? Thinking there"s a game to be played and that everyone else is playing it, so one has to keep playing it as well. It"s all pretty symptomatic of sociopathy (well, the last is a bit schizophrenic, but semantics, heh).Darus Grey said:
If one wants to they could argue the majority of our culture regularly demonstrates sociopathic tendencies, so it"s not like I"m casting down damnation or saying anyone is evil or a serial killer. Boys will be boys, etc, but trying to imply (or outright state) that it"s the reality for everyone is dumb and limited. Despite the "everyone is playing the game, maaan" sentiment, no, most people aren"t... though, to those who are playing the game, obviously it seems as if everyone is (back to that schizophrenia thing).
It"s no secret I have sociopathic tendencies, as you point out, it"s not even an insult since many people have varying degrees in modern society.
Society reinforces it, because it"s not a coincidence that people with sociopathic tendencies are also disproportionately more successful.
I disagree with the premise of your argument though, that growing up is when you realize you"re looking for love or some crap. That"s the point I and most people start at...we want something meaningful; it"s our experiences that slowly wear us down into not caring and just wanting pussy.
I don"t expect you to have read many of my comments over the 1/2 decade of this thread, but if you did you"d know I"ve spent a lot of my adult life struggling with trying to find a meaningful life partner despite it being what I"ve always actively pursued. I was under the mistaken impression that your hypothesis was essentially true. Unfortunately it"s bullshit.
My hypothesis is that we"re all playing "the game", even those of us who recognize these behavioral tendencies, like many human behavior patterns being aware of it doesn"t mean we"re not adhering to it. That is to say, just because you don"t think you"re playing, doesn"t mean you"re not.
I think you"d have a hard time arguing that humans have no mating habits, they"re just not as transparent. Once you agree that there are rules or at least tendencies, then we"ve already established that we are infact playing a game or some sort. At that point the conversation shifts to discussing potential or successful strategies.
tl;dr version: you have the belief that humans are significantly beyond our animalistic tendencies, I find the world makes much more sense when you discard this belief.
Edit: upon further reflection I think there"s a clear confusion about what we each constitute as "the game", my understanding of what you"re saying is that I believe that everyone is *overtly* trying to be manipulative jackasses. Which I clearly think is untrue, I think there is a significant amount of covert/subconscious manipulation.
After all, *all* communication is inheritly manipulative or more innocuously persuasive.
Society reinforces it, because it"s not a coincidence that people with sociopathic tendencies are also disproportionately more successful.
I disagree with the premise of your argument though, that growing up is when you realize you"re looking for love or some crap. That"s the point I and most people start at...we want something meaningful; it"s our experiences that slowly wear us down into not caring and just wanting pussy.
I don"t expect you to have read many of my comments over the 1/2 decade of this thread, but if you did you"d know I"ve spent a lot of my adult life struggling with trying to find a meaningful life partner despite it being what I"ve always actively pursued. I was under the mistaken impression that your hypothesis was essentially true. Unfortunately it"s bullshit.
My hypothesis is that we"re all playing "the game", even those of us who recognize these behavioral tendencies, like many human behavior patterns being aware of it doesn"t mean we"re not adhering to it. That is to say, just because you don"t think you"re playing, doesn"t mean you"re not.
I think you"d have a hard time arguing that humans have no mating habits, they"re just not as transparent. Once you agree that there are rules or at least tendencies, then we"ve already established that we are infact playing a game or some sort. At that point the conversation shifts to discussing potential or successful strategies.
tl;dr version: you have the belief that humans are significantly beyond our animalistic tendencies, I find the world makes much more sense when you discard this belief.
Edit: upon further reflection I think there"s a clear confusion about what we each constitute as "the game", my understanding of what you"re saying is that I believe that everyone is *overtly* trying to be manipulative jackasses. Which I clearly think is untrue, I think there is a significant amount of covert/subconscious manipulation.
After all, *all* communication is inheritly manipulative or more innocuously persuasive.
That"s pretty much my sentiment. I enjoy his stories and appreciate him being honest even when he knows he could have or should have done things differently lol. The volleyball player sounds hot, nice.Ronaan said:
That is not even close to schizophrenic and not at all sociopathic. A sociopath enjoys manipulating people and does it actively...accepting that there"s a game that must be played and begrudgingly playing it...that"s accepting realitypopsicledeath said:
So I think I"m putting myself in a situation that"s going to blow up in my face in a HUGE way. I"ll try to summarize as briefly as I can.
I"ve worked with Girl1 for a few years. We"ve always gotten along really well etc. She"s always had a boyfriend. Breaks up with her boyfriend maybe 3 months or so ago. Last weekend we"re working together and I start to kind of pick up a vibe that she"s in to me. End up asking her to come have a drink after work. We go for a drink, then sit in her car for a couple hours fooling around. Turns out she"s actually been in to me for a little while, at least a month, and trying to get me to notice but I"m stupid and only just figured it out when it was blatantly obvious to everyone around us.
Girl2 works at a different location within the same company I do. She was working at my location last night to help us out. She would be my direct superior if she worked at my location. We hit it off right off the bat, end up sitting around after work having some drinks. Also end up making out a bunch over the course of the night.
There"s a few dilemma"s here.
1 - I work with girl1 and will for the foreseeable future.
2 - Girl2 is almost certainly going to get moved to my location in the near future, probably beginning of November.
3 - I will then end up in a situation where I"m casually dating both girl1 and girl2, one of which is both my boss, and the boss of the "competing" girl.
What"s my course of action? Right now, my plan is to just bang both of them and see who I like better. Problem is, I already know I like girl1 better. She"s hotter, smarter, just generally a better person, I know her well, we have great chemistry and have for years. Girl2 is just really interesting though, and something about her is just pulling me in, hard to say exactly what. Oh, also, girl2 is coming over to my place tonight to have some drinks and likely, to bang. It"s already decided she"s staying over, I can"t imagine a situation where we don"t have sex.
Help me FoH!
I"ve worked with Girl1 for a few years. We"ve always gotten along really well etc. She"s always had a boyfriend. Breaks up with her boyfriend maybe 3 months or so ago. Last weekend we"re working together and I start to kind of pick up a vibe that she"s in to me. End up asking her to come have a drink after work. We go for a drink, then sit in her car for a couple hours fooling around. Turns out she"s actually been in to me for a little while, at least a month, and trying to get me to notice but I"m stupid and only just figured it out when it was blatantly obvious to everyone around us.
Girl2 works at a different location within the same company I do. She was working at my location last night to help us out. She would be my direct superior if she worked at my location. We hit it off right off the bat, end up sitting around after work having some drinks. Also end up making out a bunch over the course of the night.
There"s a few dilemma"s here.
1 - I work with girl1 and will for the foreseeable future.
2 - Girl2 is almost certainly going to get moved to my location in the near future, probably beginning of November.
3 - I will then end up in a situation where I"m casually dating both girl1 and girl2, one of which is both my boss, and the boss of the "competing" girl.
What"s my course of action? Right now, my plan is to just bang both of them and see who I like better. Problem is, I already know I like girl1 better. She"s hotter, smarter, just generally a better person, I know her well, we have great chemistry and have for years. Girl2 is just really interesting though, and something about her is just pulling me in, hard to say exactly what. Oh, also, girl2 is coming over to my place tonight to have some drinks and likely, to bang. It"s already decided she"s staying over, I can"t imagine a situation where we don"t have sex.
Help me FoH!
Help with what? It"s not like you have free will here. It"s best to just accept the inevitable that you"ll try to have both and it"ll likely blow up, you"ll tell your friends, "dude, never get involved with a girl from work," and repeat the exact same thing a year later when a similar situation arises. It"s what I"d do.
Accept the inevitable and save your mental energy for trying to figure out which one gave you the clap.
Accept the inevitable and save your mental energy for trying to figure out which one gave you the clap.