Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
- 3,281
- 1,636
Agreed. That message is the biggest red flag I've ever heard short of catching someone red han... wait, you caught her sending nudes too? WTF?
Have you cheated?
- Thread starter Anemone_sl
- Start date
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,376
- 17,721
See, this is where the waters get muddy, and why I have a problem with the term "cheating."
You need to figure out what you consider cheating, and for different people, this is wildly different. Hell, there have been surveys in where most women say they are more hurt by an emotional relationship than they would be by a sexual encounter. A lot of men couldn't give a shit less if their spouse has an emotional relationship with someone else, but it's over the instant she bangs him.
It needs to be far more defined in order to have any kind of conversation about it. We had something like this awhile ago in the GWBYHT, but Evelys agreed with my position in regards to her "husband" and that kinda grosses me out thinking about it now, so i'm gonna go vomit, and i'll be back later.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
- 45,398
- 73,467
Yeah I agree, that's why I think it's best if the victimized partner determines whether the act is cheating.
And if I found my wife sending any kind of sexual pics or sexual messages to or from a guy friend I'd kick his ass and tell her she can't see him anymore, lol.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,376
- 17,721
Why? It's not the guy's fault. Your woman is the one sending him pics. What's he gonna do? Say no?
I don't even know you, and if I did, the answer would still be the same. If your wife asked me if I wanted some nude pics I'd say "Sure" and that's where we'd be at. How would that be my fault?
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
- 14,104
- 30,186
Depends on the couple, really. Some minor harmless flirting is probably fine and if anything is a good confidence builder that strengthens your relationship. The minute shit like nudie pics or behind the back plans to spend time away from the significant other starts entering the picture, then its officially a cheating situation. That said, women are schemers and most men are big time pussy hounds, so some random jackoff telling your wife/gf what she wants to hear while she bitches about you online is a recipe for disaster.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
- 5,472
- 272
Obviously it depends on the relationship with the husband, but yes if you accept or encourage them you're just as culpable if you know the husband even passingly. Were the positions reversed and it was a woman outside the marriage flirting with the husband, most people would call her a homewrecker. I don't see how it's any different.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,376
- 17,721
Sure, but why blame the dude? That's the question. It's not the guys fault. If your girl is sending nudes to a guy who's not you, he's not the one with the problem. His ass doesn't need to be kicked, hell, there's a high probability he doesn't even know you exist (in the above case, he's the best friend, so he clearly does, but that non withstanding). He's just some lucky guy getting some boobs sent to his phone.
On topic, I have an emotional relationship with a woman I've known for longer than I've known my wife. Probably 70% her, 30% me. She has a very strong attachment to me, enough so that she felt the need to confess it at a church in another city (silly Catholics). My wife knows about it (obviously, since it predates her), and it's never been an issue. My wife goes out with guy friends all the time. She has a "gay best friend" (not really gay, but that's the joke) who does all the stupid shit like shopping and brunch and whatnot with her that I don't give a shit about. I neither care nor am worried.
If your partner isn't committed to you, you have a problem. If your partner is committed to you, then almost everything in this thread is irrelevant. My wife sleeping with another guy would not be an instant relationship killer. Her sleeping with a woman would not be an instant relationship killer. Me sleeping with a woman would not be an instant relationship killer. Why? Because it doesn't matter. What matters is the partnership we have.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
- 17,324
- 4,839
Who cares if it is his "fault"? I imagine any guy who is close enough to a woman to receive shit like that from her is going to be well aware of her relationship. Even if not, life's not fair. Of course the problem ultimately lies in your relationship. But without the threat of furious ass beatings, guys would be even more brazen about trying to take your women and hear your lamentations.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,376
- 17,721
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
- 3,281
- 1,636
Cutlery hits on a point from earlier in the thread: cheating = breaking the rules, but the rules vary widely from relationship to relationship, so what defines cheating varies greatly as well. And it is definitely possible a dude does not know a woman he is hitting on is in a relationship if she purposely hides it.
However, I disagree with Cutlery that if the guy knows the two of you and knows the relationship isn't open, then he's a dick for pursuing it and deserves the ass beating. Your woman would have an equal (greater?) share of the blame for taking the bait, though.
However, I disagree with Cutlery that if the guy knows the two of you and knows the relationship isn't open, then he's a dick for pursuing it and deserves the ass beating. Your woman would have an equal (greater?) share of the blame for taking the bait, though.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,376
- 17,721
Well, Conan and the male territorial shit aside, I just don't see how the guy is at all to blame or deserves an ass beating while the woman gets a stern talking to. Guys just do what guys do, which is try to put their dicks in as many holes as possible as often as possible. I mean, come on. If you've got no other commitments going on clouding your judgement, and a chick comes on to you, are you really gonna pressure her that hard about her relationship status? No, of course not, because that's secondary to the driving male need. If the woman is out there prowling for cock, it most certainly is not the fault of any guy she picks up along the way. He's just going with the flow, like any of us would do. The woman is the one who wronged you. If that's wrong in your relationship, anyway.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
- 17,324
- 4,839
Well it comes back to the whole thing being personal for people and people having their own rules. For me, if it was some stranger who didn't know my wife/gf and she just randomly started flirting and exposing herself, then sure, totally her fault and no point in beating of asses, just end the relationship. If it was someone we knew, which seems the more likely scenario, then the ass beating has been earned. Whether or not you decide to deliver depends on you. But there it is.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
- 5,472
- 272
Again, it's dependent on the circumstances. If the guy is a stranger and doesn't know she's married, I agree, not his fault. If it's the opposite and the guy knows she's married and better yet knows the husband even if only passingly, he's a fucking asshole if he hits it and deserves whatever he gets.
No one's saying that there should be an equal share of the blame, of course it mostly falls on the cheater's head. But if you fuck a co-worker's wife or something, even if you're not friends but knowing she's married, you're a colossal douchebag and probably need a severe beating. Take some fucking responsibility for your actions.
No one's saying that there should be an equal share of the blame, of course it mostly falls on the cheater's head. But if you fuck a co-worker's wife or something, even if you're not friends but knowing she's married, you're a colossal douchebag and probably need a severe beating. Take some fucking responsibility for your actions.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,376
- 17,721
JVIRUS
Golden Knight of the Realm
- 421
- 135
Cheated and been cheated on with my first several girlfriends. By 19 I had learned enough to realize I had better not be a disrespectful shit if I wanted any stability whatsoever.
Nowadays I am married and been with the same woman a decade. Tempted occasionally but nothing even remotely worth risking the relationship I have with my wife, she's a super lady. Young bitches ain't got the medicine daddy needs anyway.
Nowadays I am married and been with the same woman a decade. Tempted occasionally but nothing even remotely worth risking the relationship I have with my wife, she's a super lady. Young bitches ain't got the medicine daddy needs anyway.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
- 6,376
- 17,721
Meh, I'm inserting extra words where there are none when I'm reading. I've been up too long apparently. Critical thinking and logical reasoning at this point of the game is rapidly declining, so I'll pick this up later.
I recant my position Eomer, misread your quote.
I recant my position Eomer, misread your quote.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
- 5,472
- 272
Springbok
Karen
- 9,010
- 12,550
RUN.
Don't look back, run. I'd be absolutely shocked if she hasn't cheated already bro. Sorry.