Poll How much did you change over time, got older?

I'm curious how much others have changed over the years. For a variety of reasons I've talked to or messaged a lot of people recently from middle and high school. Apparently I blocked out a LOT. I know people change over time as you grow older and such. The old saying of if not liberal when young you have no heart, if not conservative as you get older you have no brain.

Like I said. I know people change over time I'm wondering if it has been a significant change. This has really been rolling around in my mind a lot lately. I give it some credit since it seems to be repeated by so many people. Also it does kind of go from what people wrote in my yearbooks and such. Other than that apparently I have no memory at all of "myself". I can remember people, nothing about them or nothing about what I was like. I know I was there. Period.

It's really been taking up a lot of my mental time which isn't much power to begin with. I almost feel like I lost a giant part of my memory.

I quickly discussed it with a therapist I went to a few weeks ago about why some people have kine of come back and others nothing. He said a good chance you'll talk to some of the people that "came back" and more will come. He also mentioned good chance the people that come back may not be all that important but were kind. The kind thing did kind of work out on the first person to come back from middle school.

Bugs the shit out of me.

The memory fog I'm OK with. Apparently there was a pretty massive change in my outward personality. That I do not remember. It's no secret post college I was and am to a degree still a hermit. Stuff people have shared with stories, pictures, yearbooks that I have never looked at seems to contradict that by a pretty large amount. Just processing it all now is taking some thinking.

Yes I'm trying to do self therapy lol. I'm just kind of concerned something happened that I blacked out or something. I went from a lot of friends, being named in the yearbook for several social things, friends having lots of memories of me being much more social, being head of some functions socially. To no friends and no social life at all. No idea why, except one person I talked to who said we figured you were in prison.

You do not want to get a message and friends request from me on facebook. In the last week or so I sent several only to find out they had died earlier. Several from cancer, one to a DWI wreck. Several women I sent messages to that were a light hearted apology for ignoring them, large percentage of ones I sent are now dead most from cancer. All mostly friends from high school.

Apparently in high school in 9 and 10th grade I was the center of attention. Had a very long list of friends or aquantinces. Made parties. Was the core of a large group. I never remember any of that, other than the names of people.

After I dropped out in 12th grade I moved to outside a town of 225. There was a number of years I didn't talk to anyone other than a few phone calls with family. I could work remotely via email at the time.

I do miss some of the people and times. I was just curios to what happened. One day I woke up and realized I didn't do anything for such a long time. I have only contacted one person I went to college with undergrad and grad school. Never looked any of them up. I only talked to my room mate who is now an executive in the wildlife division of TX Parks and wildife, and I hold a picture I could use to blackmail him lol.

People I remember from pictures I do not remember their name message me at times and talk like they have the fondest memory of things we did and I have no clue.

I'm always amazed at people who know who I am. I have some pretty high self worth issues and have forever. At least in personal life. In business it's exactly opposite. I wish I could flip them around. In high school I never was without a girl friend or a date. I never asked anyone out. I took the agressive women that made it abundantly clear or asked me out.

I needed a woman who was cave man like. Hit me over the head and drag me back to the cave. It was really difficult for me to pick up signals women were sending. Even in college I married a student of mine who drove 45 miles to bring me cough medicine when I got sick. That was a pretty strong signal.

I'm still mentally sorting it out. When I message someone and they say "OMG where did you go for 30 years". I tell them prison. It's interesting to see the number that believe that. A large number still live within 10 miles of school which shocked me.

I'm just babbling. I was asked to prom by two girls in their senior year. They said they really wanted to go since the previous year sitting at home sucked. Take two women to prom at once. OK. School wouldn't let a freshman guy go with a senior woman. The other way was ok. I was crushed lol. They only asked me because i talked to them in PE all the time. One was "averagish", the only had biggest god tities. That's pretty much all I was thinking about. That memory stayed with me to this day from 33 years ago.

I talked to a lot of people. It's slowly coming back. Until I got out of high school I was much more social. Much more. Several people have state I was the center of the large group of us. I was voted in the senior yearbook most likely to run for office. That sounds nothing like me. I messaged a lot of people I could remember their name and almost all of them had stories to tell of stuff we did together and things I was in charge of. I apparently brought all the beer in large quantities (car full) to all the parties.

Nothing like I was a few years later when I totally shut down and became a hermit. I went years where I would talk to nobody other than emails for work, some family every so often, and my girlfriend who is now my wife. Pretty drastic. I do not know why.

Couple of people I had long talks with. A few were in a place of bad things going down. Cancer, deaths in the family, deaths of people I knew. They all were very glad to talk to me and all almost said the same thing. I knew what to say. I am of no help but I talked to them. They seemed happy to reconnect. It was rough for a few. Sounds like a twin, and I'm the evil one doesn't sound like me at all.