Poll How much did you change over time, got older?

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Borzak

Bronze Baron of the Realm
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31,637
I wrote a gigantic post. I took it out.

Extreme foginess is the best way to describe I guess. I have memories. I have names of people. Connecting them together has been where the fog is. I've talking to a few people I knew then that have helped make some connections. One woman I talked to for 2 hours was a huge help. She's going through cancer and she seemed really happy to get her mind off of it for a little while. I knew we rode the bus together and she helped fill in some blanks.

Same story though. She talked of me being very outgoing, drinking at all the parties we had and other stuff that seemed really out of character for me. I'll keep working with it and see if it all fits together at some point. Even my mom looked at some of the pics of me drinking and said "I remember your group going to the beach" and she remembers a lot of the people more than I do in some cases.
 
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Borzak

Bronze Baron of the Realm
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31,637
I had a pretty large chunk of high school come back. I was talking to a girl I rode the bus with. I remembered her pretty well just because we rode the bus together. We talked for quite a while. She mentioned some names and things and it kind of came back over a days delay.

She had started out talking about how she got no interest in high school from guys. I had no idea. I knew her to be very very innocent type. I knew in a way I would temper myself around her because I can kind of easily go over the time. That is
 

Borzak

Bronze Baron of the Realm
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31,637
High school still pretty fuzzy. Elementary and middle school pretty clear. I changed my name on my facebook page and I got a few friends request from that time period. Been so long ago I forgot I changed from using my middle name to first name.
 

Lanx

Oye Ve
<Prior Amod>
60,072
131,382
You do not want to get a message and friends request from me on facebook. In the last week or so I sent several only to find out they had died earlier. Several from cancer, one to a DWI wreck. Several women I sent messages to that were a light hearted apology for ignoring them, large percentage of ones I sent are now dead most from cancer. All mostly friends from high school.
fuck off mass shooter dear john!
 
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Fight

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
4,555
5,360
I am in my late 30's now and I can feel things changing. There were a number of time periods I would pick as turning points:

Grade School, Middle School, and High School
I had good parents and good friends. No complaints... but I rarely reflect on these years. I remember the people and a few highlights, but I can't really tell you any stories. I feel like my life didn't really start until my college years.

20 to 26, Floundering Years
I finished college, but wasn't passionate about anything I studied. I got into a career because that was the next step, but it wasn't the future that I had always envisioned for myself. I made good friends at this time that I have kept/will keep the rest of my life. Best thing that happened to me during these years is I took on responsibility that forced me to buckle down, grit my teeth and get through it. There are countless times when I wanted to quit without other career prospects. That is the pattern most of my friends have taken over the past 15 years. Start a new job, burn out after 2-3 years, start over. Every time they start over, their life gets turned upside down and it is so turbulent for awhile that they never make any progress.

27 to 32, As Good As It Gets?
I felt invincible. Athletically, I was at peak performance. Strong, fast, incredible eye-hand coordination, and I felt as quick mentally as ever. I was super productive these years and could bang out any work tasks that came up without much trouble. Write a new 100 page manual? Take a team and manage 12 employees twice my age? No problem, I could take any any challenge and overcome.

33 to 37, Slow Decline
My physical prowess began its decline. It felt like trying to hold onto sand as it slips through your fingers. One way I would describe it, is that I occasionally felt "clumsy" for the first time ever? It was also around this time that alcohol started to give me hang-overs, hot-sauce would torch my asshole, my hair started to thin on top, and I could finally put on some weight if I didn't watch what I eat. I would occasionally make mistakes. I stopped having all the answers. Things at work might tax me mentally and I would stress tremendously. I also felt the regret of not settling down with a woman that would be my wife and mother to my children.

At 38, Present & Future
I am not scared of the future, but I am not overly optimistic either. I should have found a wife 10 years ago. I should have a kid that is going into the 5th grade. I am going to be in my 50's or 60's by the time I have a college-aged kid, if it happens at all. If they choose to wait later in life to start a family, I might never live to see my grandchildren. The more years that go by, the less likely is it to happen at all.

Mentally I am just not a quick as I was. Life gets significantly harder as more time goes on. Obviously we all know that our bodies break down the older we get. But mentally and personality wise I don't like what I am aging into. In my mid-20's to early 30's, I could engage on just about any topic. Politics, music, movies, shitty pop-culture, sports, and certainly anything in my industry of business. I actually feel dumber and less interesting today than 20 something'ish me. It is kind of pathetic but I guess that is life? Conversations are a chore, and I have new friendly acquaintances but no new real friends.

Looking Back...
I am grateful to younger me for a few decisions though. Financially, I am secure. Retiring at 50 will be a real option if I want to take it.

I opt'd into my employer's 401k matching plan since paycheck #1 with the maximum amount. I never used credit cards. The only money I spent, was money I had. If I wanted something, I saved and bought it with cash (even cars). I didn't knock up any girls and put a child-support-anchor around my neck. I was the first of my friends to buy a house and have them pay me rent. I realized how easy the money was, so I continued to buy and rent houses in 2006, 2011, 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018, and an apartment complex in 2019.

I guess I would recommend to any young person to have goals. Even if they aren't completely defined, have some ultimate goals with checkpoints along the way to get you there. Life goes by fast.
 
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Borzak

Bronze Baron of the Realm
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31,637
Some of it is coming back. Looking at yearbooks, talking to people I knew that knew me and my friends. I sent messages to several people in facebook to see what had happened in 30 years. A number of them were dead and their pages maintaned by someone obviously. I was pretty different apparently. It's coming back now. I have no idea why I changed that drastically. I guess I got tired of it. Everyone I talked to has been super nice to me. I shut it off entirely and moved away. 3/4 of the guys work in the same field I do, dunno.

One close friend that we were good friends. We had a lot of parties because his parents were gone a lot. I always brought the beer because I had no problem getting it and I had a car, I never drank at all. Under his sig in the year book "Budweiser rules", ok we were freshman and sophomores. He died in a dwi wreck over the summer. Hit hard again.
 
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Warmuth

Molten Core Raider
869
493
I am in my late 30's now and I can feel things changing. There were a number of time periods I would pick as turning points:



At 38, Present & Future
I am not scared of the future, but I am not overly optimistic either. I should have found a wife 10 years ago. I should have a kid that is going into the 5th grade. I am going to be in my 50's or 60's by the time I have a college-aged kid, if it happens at all. If they choose to wait later in life to start a family, I might never live to see my grandchildren. The more years that go by, the less likely is it to happen at all.

Mentally I am just not a quick as I was. Life gets significantly harder as more time goes on. Obviously we all know that our bodies break down the older we get. But mentally and personality wise I don't like what I am aging into. In my mid-20's to early 30's, I could engage on just about any topic. Politics, music, movies, shitty pop-culture, sports, and certainly anything in my industry of business. I actually feel dumber and less interesting today than 20 something'ish me. It is kind of pathetic but I guess that is life? Conversations are a chore, and I have new friendly acquaintances but no new real friends.

I'll give you this advice. Take full advantage of the next five years, especially physically. What you feel in your thirties is a small taste of what'll happen past fourty. I wouldn't say life gets harder though. It's much easier to be content, for me anyway, because the passing of time brings a ton of perspective on life and what is and isn't important to care about. You can still do almost everything you used to do, it just hurts more. Losing physical capacity does suck though, no way around that. Anyone who says they feel better at 45 than they did when they were younger is delusional or was a complete fucking trainwreck who decided to live normally.
 
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Alex

Still a Music Elitist
14,466
7,382
Some of it is coming back. Looking at yearbooks, talking to people I knew that knew me and my friends. I sent messages to several people in facebook to see what had happened in 30 years. A number of them were dead and their pages maintaned by someone obviously. I was pretty different apparently. It's coming back now. I have no idea why I changed that drastically. I guess I got tired of it. Everyone I talked to has been super nice to me. I shut it off entirely and moved away. 3/4 of the guys work in the same field I do, dunno.

One close friend that we were good friends. We had a lot of parties because his parents were gone a lot. I always brought the beer because I had no problem getting it and I had a car, I never drank at all. Under his sig in the year book "Budweiser rules", ok we were freshman and sophomores. He died in a dwi wreck over the summer. Hit hard again.

Not trolling or trying to hate here. But your recent posts allude to you being in the starting stages of a midlife crisis. And it coincides with you getting married. Hmmm...
 

Borzak

Bronze Baron of the Realm
24,422
31,637
I lived with her for 20 years before we got married. Nothing changed. I left high school and remember maybe 4 people people that knew my parents and they would bring up from time to time. Those people have helped me get in touch with some. I never even thought about it as far as I know. My wife says the same thing. I was in grad school and she was fresh out of high school. She says I have never mentioned it.

Oh well nothing else I can do about it now. Everyone I have contacted said the same thing. Well almost all of them. A couple thought I had been in prison the last 30 years.

I hope it is a midlife crisis. I can go back to remembering how to spell simple words again. And remember numbers on a drawing from the time I look at the drawing and the time it takes to look at the monitor.
 

Guurn

<Bronze Donator>
5,898
30,323
I've never been able to remember anything. I have memories but they are sporadic at best with large, very large, chunks missing. I can give several dramatic examples but I think the typical one is simple. In 8th grade I remember going to a school to play in a basketball game. It was a cool newer school (although I don't remember what it looked like) and I asked a buddy when did this get built. Here said it was built a few years ago and that me saying that was weird because we had just played there against ??? And they wore red jerseys and we won ??? To ???. I had no clue. High school is not even a memory, not even who my best friend was (although I am told I ran into him later on). I do remember deriving equations in math to be able to solve problems since I couldn't memorize them.

I raced bikes in my early 20s and was in great shape. My memory is slightly better since my first death although I don't remember much of that. I work on it pretty regularly. In my 50s I'm great physically other than occasional low back crap.
 

Guurn

<Bronze Donator>
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Not much of a story, i died for about 25 minutes. My wife, a respiratory therapist, revived me with a couple guys help. Lucky for me she has done CPR hundreds of times. Turns out i have mild hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and me sprinting to meet her just set off the cardiac arrest. The funny part is that i trained for bike racing for many years and it could have happened any time. I just got lucky with both the when and where.
 

Alex

Still a Music Elitist
14,466
7,382
You forgetful people must sleep so soundly. And never get paranoid no matter what or how many drugs you do. Or ever remember humiliating things in your life. But also probably never learn from your mistakes. I remember almost EVERYTHING.
 

Guurn

<Bronze Donator>
5,898
30,323
I used to be very paranoid about humiliation. Now it doesn't exist in my life. You are right in that unfounded fears were befuddling to me. It say I learn in a different way from others. I just stop doing stupid things, I don't even think about. When I quit any number of hobbies or drugs I just stopped, it wasn't a big deal because it was now a stupid thing to do. If say I'm extremely resistant to addiction, probably immune.