I'm really fucked up right now, and not sure where to post it so here you go.

Xarpolis

Xarpolis

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(I've posted the exact thing on another forum but I want to get my thoughts out there. Here you go.)

So this story was printed out and sitting on my desk when I got into work this morning:
Bucks bus driver charged with sex assaults on two boys - Philly.com

I've known Fred for a LONG time. Over 20 years, I would think. He was my Troop Leader when I was a Boy Scout. In all my years of knowing him, he never had a creepy vibe. Our scout troop was among the best I can think of, mainly because the kids were very mischievous, and he always had our backs if we got in trouble.

We even got the troop permanently kicked out of a summer camp when two of the older kids decided they were going to steal the camp's tractor and drive it down the highway. ...Yeah, we were that type of troop.

Anyway, I'm completely floored and disgusted to hear about this news. I know that I was never around any molestation in my scouting days, but I've got to wonder if maybe one of the kids in my troop was a victim. Fred was always a very personal guy. And I'm really not sure how to take this news.

I mean, is Fred really the monster that I'm now imagining? What the fuck?

Bus Driver Accused of Indecently Assaulting 2 Boys | NBC 10 Philadelphia

The link above has a video to Fred's house. Every year, Fred had Christmas parties there, and we would always go to them. Everything in the house was odd, but that's just his style. He loved porcelain Christmas ornaments... would have them ALL OVER the house.

When I was a 1st Class scout (2 steps below Eagle), my dad ended up becoming the Troop Leader. Fred had something going on that he wanted to keep his name away from the Boy Scouts. We never questioned it, and Fred was always there. But my dad was now the figure head. I ended up quitting the troop 2 years later. I was too interested in computers and The Realm, that I hated going away once a month on a camping trip and leave my precious computer.

I was between 17 & 18 and a Life scout (1 below Eagle) when I quit. This was back in '98.

What the fuck?
 
Gravel

Gravel

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tl;dr, OP got molested by this guy.

rrr_img_51857.jpg
 
Adebisi

Adebisi

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I had a scout leader that would let our troop get away with moider.

At one big camp with all the other troops in the region, instead of going to the bonfire with the other troops we snuck out and raided other people's tents for snacks. When we came back to the bonfire our leader gave us a half smile and a nod that said "boys will be boys".
 
McCheese

McCheese

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I'm not quite sure why this bothers you so much. I could understand if you were molested by him and it was dredging up old memories, but if it's just a guy you knew/know who turned out to be bad...why get so worked up over it?

I think the majority of people are shitty human beings behind closed doors. Not child-molesting shitty, obviously, but everyone puts on a "good facade" and you never really know what someone is like in private unless it is your significant other (and even then there can be surprises).

If I were you I'd be thankful that I never got molested rather than being shocked/upset by it.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Some people do really shitty things and hide it really well. The fact that he was probably a role model in your life allowed you to hold him to a higher standard than most others and probably allowed you to be blind to any real signs he had.

My mother was molested pretty badly when she was a kid, so I know it can really fuck people up. Just be glad it didn't happen to you.
 
Itlan

Itlan

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McCheese_sl said:
I'm not quite sure why this bothers you so much. I could understand if you were molested by him and it was dredging up old memories, but if it's just a guy you knew/know who turned out to be bad...why get so worked up over it?

I think the majority of people are shitty human beings behind closed doors. Not child-molesting shitty, obviously, but everyone puts on a "good facade" and you never really know what someone is like in private unless it is your significant other (and even then there can be surprises).

If I were you I'd be thankful that I never got molested rather than being shocked/upset by it.
Click to expand...
You wouldn't be upset if someone you trusted and idolized growing up turned out to be a sycophant?
 
Xarpolis

Xarpolis

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I didn't "idolize" him, but I've always defended him in the past. When the priest touching boys scaldal(s) first started, people would comment about how a Scout Leader is really no different. I mean, they don't even have kids of their own, why the fuck are they involved with them?

I ALWAYS defended the concept of it because I justknewthat Fred was different than these scumbags. He always had our backs, and not in a rapey kind-of way. I saw him over 4th of July at the town Faire. We chatted about how the troop is doing these days and I introduced him to my daughter. He's already met my wife. He was always a good guy, and Irespectedwhat he did for the kids. I know that my childhood was a lot better than it would have been if not for boy scouts. I realize that he wasn't really involved with the good outside of just being the troop leader and setting up camping trips allowed us to do these mini-vacations. I made a lot of friends when I would have otherwise gone without. What with being a computer nerd and all.

At the end of it all, I'm hurt because I never saw that he was a monster. I blindly defended him when people would make uninformed comments. But ultimately, they were right. He's a disgusting creep.

I realize that my daughter was never going to be at risk because we never leave her alone with anyone (well, and he went for boys), but still. It's really fucked up that I didn't see it.
 
Vinen

Vinen

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Xarpolis_sl said:
I didn't "idolize" him, but I've always defended him in the past. When the priest touching boys scaldal(s) first started, people would comment about how a Scout Leader is really no different. I mean, they don't even have kids of their own, why the fuck are they involved with them?

I ALWAYS defended the concept of it because I justknewthat Fred was different than these scumbags. He always had our backs, and not in a rapey kind-of way. I saw him over 4th of July at the town Faire. We chatted about how the troop is doing these days and I introduced him to my daughter. He's already met my wife. He was always a good guy, and Irespectedwhat he did for the kids. I know that my childhood was a lot better than it would have been if not for boy scouts. I realize that he wasn't really involved with the good outside of just being the troop leader and setting up camping trips allowed us to do these mini-vacations. I made a lot of friends when I would have otherwise gone without. What with being a computer nerd and all.

At the end of it all, I'm hurt because I never saw that he was a monster. I blindly defended him when people would make uninformed comments. But ultimately, they were right. He's a disgusting creep.

I realize that my daughter was never going to be at risk because we never leave her alone with anyone (well, and he went for boys), but still. It's really fucked up that I didn't see it.
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It's not your fault that you can't read someone perfectly. You had your reasons to trust him.

Honestly, don't let this effect your entire life. Once your daughter is old enough to join the Girl Scouts (or other similar activity), etc don't become paranoid to the point you can't trust her scout leader etc.
 
iannis

iannis

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Nah, you did the right thing.

The fucked up thing is going around assuming that every Priest / Youth Leader is only in it for the grabass. If you never saw it -- why would you just roll over and agree when people make baseless claims? That, in all sincerity, is the truly fucked up worldview. It goes beyond a healthy cynicism into a deeply unhealthy one.

You also need to remember that it's been 15 years. People do change. While it's possible that the seed was always in him it is also possible that it only blossomed into action recently.

It is also possible (but unlikely) he's being railroaded by some combination of fucked up circumstances. Highly unlikely, but this is one of those crimes that you REALLY need to wait for the jury. Pedophile witch hunts do happen. Again, I am saying it is unlikely that it happened here. I am only saying that they do happen. Actual abuse happens as well, and more often.
 
bixxby

bixxby

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Not to threadshit, but just seeing that guys mug, the first thing that comes to mind is Sex Offender's list.
 
Lanx

Lanx

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i was in the scouts... i think it'd make a HUGE impact if he was your entire troop leader... was he also the representative for the cub scouts/weblos as well? did you basically grow up as a cub scout with him being your leader for nearly 8 years?

i had separate cub scout
weblos
scouts

leaders for all 3.

i also got out as a life scout as well, fck teenage angst.
 
Xarpolis

Xarpolis

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He didn't become my scout master until I first joined boy scouts. I was in cub scouts prior to that, and it was a different "group". When you went from cub scouts to boy scouts, you had different troop numbers to choose, and I went with the one that seemed more fun at the time. Realistically, it probably was a better experience than the other troop, even though we didn't have the major funding the other troop had. It was still a great experience. Anyway, I ended up seeing him weekly for around 5 years total. But I continued to see him randomly after that. He lives in the neighborhood, so any time I was out and would see him, we'd chat and catch up on old times.

I would never wish to take back any of the old boy scout memories.. I just don't like that the troop leader ended up being a sicko. That's my problem. It just corrupts my otherwise harmless memories of childhood. After today I'll probably put it into the back of my mind, but as of right now, it's out front. And that's what sucks.
 
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