Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane_sl said:

Yep, you've definitely got the language of love on lockdown.

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Sorry man, I try not to. It's like this is my only tool so every problem looks like a miscommunication. But I'll point out that the solution he came up with is talked about in the book 10 different ways.

Noodleface_sl said:

My wife will never try anal, I came to terms with it long ago.

I do wonder if I could get her absolutely shitfaced and try it, but she's never been shitfaced around me in the 8 or so years I've known her.

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Now you don't have to wonder why she won't get shitfaced in front of you.

If you wanna turn your wife into a buttslut, the thing to do is play with her asshole when you're eating her pussy. Start off just rubbing around the outside. She might freak a little, but tell her to trust you, you're not going to just suddenly shove your cock in there. When she gets to the point that she likes the feeling, then press a little. I'm talking just with the pad of your finger. No lube required it's just pressure. Then talk to her about it and explain that you want to get a little lube and put the pad in. Not even the entire fingertip, you just want to break the seal. She will probably enjoy that but still be freaked out, so it's important to wait till she's warmed up from the cunnilingus. Then tell her you want to put it in just up to the first joint. Not long after that she'll be begging you to go deeper with more fingers. When you work her up to enough fingers that are appx the width of your dick, she's ready. You'll also want to rotate toys in once in a while.

A stripper gave me that plan and it's worked (or started working) on every girl I dated after her. Her theory was that every girl would enjoy butt stuff if they weren't so uptight about it. So it's important to gain trust and let her know you won't go any further than she's comfortable with. Oh and before that you can start with some light spanking and grabbing her ass roughly when you're just making out. I'm not sure if that's required but I've always started there.

Tenks_sl said:

That sounds like some gay guy saying he has a theory every straight man would love to get a dick shoved up his ass. It just doesn't interest some people.

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Those are pretty much the same words she used. For some reason girls think if they let you anywhere near the butt for 2 seconds you're going to try to shove a dick in there dry. Let her know it doesn't have to end with a dick, but you and I know it will unless you fuck it up.