Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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No, you're right. It's nuts. I can't wait to see what my parents say (read: mother. My dad wouldn't give a shit) if something comes of it, or, god forbid, hers, which I've never even met before. She's never met my parents either.

It's nuts but it's exciting nuts. I sort of have permanent security here, as I work for my family's business. So in that regard, I'm not incredibly worried, there will always be something here for me if I want it.
Well that's good you always have something to come back to then. That was my biggest concern, dirvorce is hard enough, I can't imagin going through it if you're overseas and trying to come back so you can start over again .

I wish you luck man, both you and your future wife!
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Jackie Treehorn

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Well that's good you always have something to come back to then. That was my biggest concern, dirvorce is hard enough, I can't imagin going through it if you're overseas and trying to come back so you can start over again .

I wish you luck man, both you and your future wife!
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Well, let's not go too overboard at this point. When I read the words "your future wife" I had this weird surge go through me. Anyway...I'm gonna talk about some logistics with her tomorrow and we'll see what she has to say. At this point it's all up in the air where she's going to get a job anyway. There very well may be nothing that materializes and we stick around here. There's a particular place she has in mind she'd like to go, though...11,000 miles away. Some of these places she wants to go...even if we're married, I'm not even sure that I can actually get a job there, or how that even works (speaking of SE Asia here, in Europe if I were married to her it'd be simple since she's an EU citizen in which case I could get a work visa easily.) In S.E. Asia, she'd be sponsored by a company to work. Simply being married to someone who has a job sponsorship, I don't imagine is enough to get their spouse one. In my line of work I'd be unlikely to find a job...although some of it I can continue online. The good thing being in this instance, she has the capacity to make way more money than me with her line of work, and the places we would be living are incredibly cheap. So if nothing else I could bite the bullet and teach English a few hours a day or something. If you're wondering why I'm being so vague about some of this stuff, I'm just so paranoid about it ever coming up in a Google search.

Anyway. It could be a real fucking adventure if nothing else.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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What is everyones opinion of sleep schedules?
I work overnights, and have since I got out of high school. My wife works business hours now. She tells me that if she had to do it over again, she'd never marry a guy that works overnights, but I don't think it has anything to do with the act of sleeping together, it's more of a security perspective for her, which is why we got the dog.

Honestly, I think it's great. Keeps us from getting sick of each other. My work week ends, and on the weekends I flip back to days, and we do the married couple thing for a few days and then I take a nap and go back to work.

And the most important part of being married is understanding that you're not tied together at the fucking hip. You're allowed to have your own life, and she's allowed to have hers. I would never tell my wife she can't go out with her friends, she'd just fucking laugh in my face. And I'd do the same to her. Absolutely no reason for that kind of nonsense, and I don't know why people allow it either. When we're together, we have fun together. When we're apart, we have fun apart. There's no reason to be handcuffed together for the rest of eternity.
 

Heylel

Trakanon Raider
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My dad spent a week in jail for failure to pay his alimony on time earlier this month. He had a civil judgment for being over 30k behind back in November, and after spending a couple months trying to hash out a new payment plan with my mother he just decided to refuse to sign his own proposal. Apparently this goes on his record as a contempt of court charge, which is a misdemeanor, which has now cost him several business contracts with insurance agencies who won't work with anyone that has a record (he's been taking roofing contracts).

That's the power of divorce, it seems. Make an otherwise reasonable man into a complete idiot who ruins his own life and blames everyone else for it.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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My dad spent a week in jail for failure to pay his alimony on time earlier this month. He had a civil judgment for being over 30k behind back in November, and after spending a couple months trying to hash out a new payment plan with my mother he just decided to refuse to sign his own proposal. Apparently this goes on his record as a contempt of court charge, which is a misdemeanor, which has now cost him several business contracts with insurance agencies who won't work with anyone that has a record (he's been taking roofing contracts).

That's the power of divorce, it seems. Make an otherwise reasonable man into a complete idiot who ruins his own life and blames everyone else for it.
I'm willing to bet if you really look back over his life, you'll find he's actually not reasonable. He's probably been an idiot for quite some time.
 

Captain Suave

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
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What is everyones opinion of sleep schedules? ... We're going to have our first kid in July
This is going to be a fantastic opportunity to reprogram your circadian rhythm. You're going to be so fucking tired for the first 6-12 months that you won't care what time of day it is that you go to sleep.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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This is going to be a fantastic opportunity to reprogram your circadian rhythm. You're going to be so fucking tired for the first 6-12 months that you won't care what time of day it is that you go to sleep.
That's where one overnight/one business hour parent shines. Well, it did, while she was on maternity leave.

Now it's the one man show, all day every day. Last Thursday i was up for 47 hours with a 2 hour nap and a 3 hour nap.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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heh, my wife doesn't even wear a ring. We got white gold because we both dislike regular gold, turns out she is allergic to nickel or something and it was fucking up her finger. So even though she is my property I allowed her to remove my signet. But I force her to wear a burka just in case.
Just brand her man.

Tramp stamp of your family crest.
 

Falstaff

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And the most important part of being married is understanding that you're not tied together at the fucking hip. You're allowed to have your own life, and she's allowed to have hers. I would never tell my wife she can't go out with her friends, she'd just fucking laugh in my face. And I'd do the same to her. Absolutely no reason for that kind of nonsense, and I don't know why people allow it either. When we're together, we have fun together. When we're apart, we have fun apart. There's no reason to be handcuffed together for the rest of eternity.
My friend and his wife work together at the same office... and its a small office... like 12 people. I dont know how they do it.
 

Vandyn

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Divorce sucks, no doubt about it but it's a whole lot worse when there are kids involved. First of all the divorce proceeding in and of itself has a chance of dragging on much much longer than if there are no kids. Then there are issues with child support (not tax deductable), alimony (tax deductable), have a draw up what's called a parenting plan where you lay out everything with who deals with doctors, visitation, etc. Not to mention the fact how it impact the child itself. I've known more than a couple of marriages of friends who basically were 'stuck' with each other due to the fact they didn't want to go through the hell of divorce.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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the first part of that thought and the second part of that thought don't fit together.

THAT'S THE POWER OF LOVE
 

Big Phoenix

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It's been a generally downward trend, I'll give you that.
Either way Alimony is fucking idiotic and retarded. Unless a woman was a straight a kid in high school and gave up a full ride to yale or havard, bitches shouldnt ever get alimony.
 

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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It's been a generally downward trend, I'll give you that.
Either way Alimony is fucking idiotic and retarded. Unless a woman was a straight a kid in high school and gave up a full ride to yale or havard, bitches shouldnt ever get alimony.
 

OneofOne

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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And the most important part of being married is understanding that you're not tied together at the fucking hip. You're allowed to have your own life, and she's allowed to have hers. I would never tell my wife she can't go out with her friends, she'd just fucking laugh in my face. And I'd do the same to her. Absolutely no reason for that kind of nonsense, and I don't know why people allow it either. When we're together, we have fun together. When we're apart, we have fun apart. There's no reason to be handcuffed together for the rest of eternity.
This, in spades.

My wife and I have very different sleep schedules now, partly because of our new son and partly because she commutes a fair distance while I work mostly at home (and part time at that). She's in bed by 8ish, while I'm up to 1am or so. She has mentioned she wouldn't mind if I came to sleep at least a bit earlier since she likes having me just be there, but on the other hand it gives her some "me time" on the weekends when I sleep in longer than she does. I'm not worried about this yet, but it is something I have to keep an eye on. Things may get better when our son sleeps through the night (meaning she can go to bed a little later). I hope so, because I'm a night owl, and she's a morning person.
 

Ishad

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Who are bigger assholes, people who get married on a sunday/Friday or people who get married on holiday weekends like memorial day?