More “healthy” than before, probably less frequency during pregnancy but honestly that’s more from my end too because I’m not nearly drop dead in love with her anymore. Like hard to cum type thing but overall I’d say better. It’s less of a priority as age, once per week maybe twice a month. It varies.
She bought herself tits. That was nice I guess. I’m openly despondent about the whole thing. We have our lives, get along and our committed to each other. She’s 40, I’m 33. We’ve been together 10 years.
My career is ramping up, hers is in a comfortable position. The love for my kids is more than enough to work through any issues but that line is pretty firm in the sand now. I’m not hesitant to “burn it all down” if that gets crossed again but where I would move is about 90 miles away.
Doesn’t make it any less hard. It helps we don’t dislike each other. I guess I just expected her to be a better person when we were near our worst, but it’s often the closest to us that hurt each other. I’m in no delusion, I was a horrible partner as well.
I guess my point is a “hard reset” is possible, but it seems like a rarity. We’re going on about 18 months. I could still go pull up her phone if I wanted too type scenario. I don’t, let’s be real though - women aren’t very good at hiding these things to anyone worth a damn anyway.
And I should say things I changed myself were more inward changes. Stopped being a loser type thing, no drinking, smoking, more dependable dad, try to be in shape, throw out the relationship maintenance now and then.
It seems all very biologically primal, because it is.
Women and men are not equal in terms of a lot of things, biggest lie I ever believed growing up. Our relationship works much better when I am the “rock”. I have loosened up the financial stress a lot too, we maintain 401ks, IRAs but honestly just let money sit and use as needed.
Removing that stressor lifted some weight. But honestly she earns just as much as me. Like we have a new car coming, her entire thing is “can we afford it , whataboughts”.
Yes, we’ll be fine, even though it’s more expensive than I normally would want. It’s better to keep the focus on the basics; happiness and kids.
