Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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opiate82
Bronze Squire
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You keep saying this and we keep telling you that isn't true. When it came time for my wife and I to pick out names we sat down and came up with a name together. There were names I loved that I had to throw out because she didn't like them. There are names she loved that she had to throw out because I didn't like them. We sat down and came up with a name together. And every other couple that I know that has had a child has gone through the exact same process. Some of those couples even had to sacrifice using a family name because for whatever reason, the other spouse didn't like or want the name.
I don't know where you are from originally from which the idea that it is a societal custom that the father names the kid comes from, but that idea is far from the norm here in the US.
But ya, as others have said, if my wife was going to hold the D-card over my head every time she wasn't getting her way she would have gotten her wish a long time ago. If you do go that route get that paternity test because it will save you a lot of cash on the off chance it comes back as not yours, and if you are getting divorced anyways who cares if it offends her.
DickTrickle
Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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I think it's clear this marriage is going nowhere. But you should at least reflect and try to understand your wife's perspective to some degree so you might learn something for your next relationship instead of walking away thinking "bitches be crazy".
Also, as an aside, if she took your last name, then you're wanting two out of three names without compromise. Did you ever think about that?
Also, as an aside, if she took your last name, then you're wanting two out of three names without compromise. Did you ever think about that?
Nester
Vyemm Raider
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Lend,
Why dont you try picking new names, new first name and new 2nd name with no exisiting family members allowed to be used. Dont let her pick one then you pick one. Sit down together and do it as a couple. Focus on the first then the 2nd will flow.
So my wife says to me today...i dont want to work anymore. Can i quit my job and be a housewife? Point of interest, we are mid 30s and do not have children.
I make good money, prolly enought to support us at our current lifestyle with retirement savings. She makes half of what i make, but for our small town with no schooling she makes way more then most woman in our neck of the woods.
I am not sure if she is serious, so i asked her what she would do all day, which she replyed, work out, clean the house, make sure dinner was on the table, and lunch was ready (i come home for lunch) do all the gardening and yard work we both procrastinate on. So i asked her how she would have time to do that with all the blowjobs she would have to give me for being a stay at home wife with no kids. She says she could easily handle 3 a day if she did not have to worry about work, morning, lunch and afterwork. FYI in income lost that works out to (after tax dollars) $46 per BJ, i did not calculate cost savings on other things like cleaning and working out (which just seems to get done anyway)
This feels like a trap bros....whats my next step here?
Why dont you try picking new names, new first name and new 2nd name with no exisiting family members allowed to be used. Dont let her pick one then you pick one. Sit down together and do it as a couple. Focus on the first then the 2nd will flow.
So my wife says to me today...i dont want to work anymore. Can i quit my job and be a housewife? Point of interest, we are mid 30s and do not have children.
I make good money, prolly enought to support us at our current lifestyle with retirement savings. She makes half of what i make, but for our small town with no schooling she makes way more then most woman in our neck of the woods.
I am not sure if she is serious, so i asked her what she would do all day, which she replyed, work out, clean the house, make sure dinner was on the table, and lunch was ready (i come home for lunch) do all the gardening and yard work we both procrastinate on. So i asked her how she would have time to do that with all the blowjobs she would have to give me for being a stay at home wife with no kids. She says she could easily handle 3 a day if she did not have to worry about work, morning, lunch and afterwork. FYI in income lost that works out to (after tax dollars) $46 per BJ, i did not calculate cost savings on other things like cleaning and working out (which just seems to get done anyway)
This feels like a trap bros....whats my next step here?
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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If my wife wanted to no longer work id say yes just so I didn't have to listen to an hours worth of work drama every goddamn night
Nester
Vyemm Raider
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chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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The overall sentiment is not wrong, really. I've dealt with trying to find time to shop, cook, take care of my kids, run errands, etc while working and it is a mess. And then dealing with the financial pain of day care on top of that, ugh. Having a stay at home mom to take care of the kids and that shit, it is a considerable luxury that many people don't have. Being all holier-than-thou about it is retarded, too. But it doesn't cost anything to acknowledge what an advantage that is for a family.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Yeah this "relationship" is over. Dude is never going to have anything resembling one in the future.
What I'm hearing is having a liveable income earned by a single parent is a luxury.
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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As much as I enjoy this thread, this increases my already serious reservations about the prospect of Marriage in itself. What are the benefits (for a man) to enter a marriage. I've been with my GF for three years and would have no problem marrying her per se. But she worked in Family Law for like 5 years so I know that if it came to it she could fuck me over hard if she so chose. It seems like a huge and unnecessary risk to me. We both make excellent money, although I am much better at managing it correctly and I told her that I wouldn't consider marriage until she paid off her student loans and got serious about proper money management. Which is incredibly ironic because she works in high finance now and knows the ins and outs of tax law like you wouldn't believe. But when it comes to paying off a meager $11k student loan and balancing a check book she knows fuck all.
Sometimes I think its best to just stay a couple without legal entanglements.
Sometimes I think its best to just stay a couple without legal entanglements.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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That's one way to look at. What bothers me isn't the fact that lifestyle just wouldn't work for me, what bothers me is stay at home moms, for whatever reason, feel the need to constantly pat themselves on the back and act as though they are the most precious people on earth. A friend of mine's wife who is a stay at home mom posted that article on Facebook, that's how I saw it. She posts articles like that at least once a week. She needs to get over herself.
Basically she's saying "I'm the greatest thing around hubby, worship me for all I do for you". Give me a break.
lux?u?ry
noun
1. the state of great comfort and extravagant living.
Sorry but not having to go grocery shopping or do my own laundry while I simultaneously have the burden of being sole provider for my family is not what I consider a life of luxury. Chaos, do you never have to pick up anything around the house, cook, clean, etc ever? Because if you never had to do any chores ever again that is kind of luxurious *IF* you still have a ton of disposable income to spend on entertainment.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Well if you both make a similar amount of money, and continue to make similar amounts of money throughout the marriage she shouldn't be able to take you to the cleaners. Alimony is pretty much out the window. Really, kids are where things get messy but if you have kids outside of marriage all the same child support laws still come into play. Marriage is really only a scary proposition for men who earn a substantial amount more than their partner to be.
Also, what's the interest rate on her student loan? If it's not high who cares about her not paying it in full out of the gate? You can spend your money better elsewhere.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Luxury means more than just that, bro.
Some of these women take it too far. Yes, it deserves credit, it is a monotonous job that not a lot of people want to do, at least not properly and not without costing an arm and a leg. But they aren't saving the world every day anymore than I am doing to work and school. It is just shit that has to get done.a dictionary or something_sl said:
If I never had to clean up again, ever, all I would need is a sexbot and I'm pretty much set. You're fucking crazy if you don't think that is a luxury.
BrotherWu
MAGA
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Giving up the wife's income in exchange for a clean and organized house, no shopping to do, yardwork completed, plumber called, dog delivered to vet, kids delivered to sporting events, homework completed, dinner on the table, and a porn class BJ every night sounds like a good deal to me.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Let's get one thing fuckin' straight here. No woman knows how to mow a lawn, and if she does you know she does it poorly.
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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It isn't the interest rate that bothers me its that she pretty much lives paycheck to paycheck. This is despite her profession being on how to grow you financial assets and limit tax liability. Do as I say not as I do kind of thing. Her knowledge of Family Law is very extensive. We do make similar money sure, but whose to say someone who knows the system couldn't take you to the cleaners anyway?