Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
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He ain't learning from any of this. He's like Jesse from Breaking Bad.

Sure, the stories are amusing and fun to read, just gets tiring after a while. It's almost a trope unto itself, like every Phoenix or Tad post.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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I've banged probably 5-6 fat chicks. Only one was bad at giving head, which made her essentially worthless as a human being.
ROFL. 2 fat chicks here, both in my twenties when the allure of any easy semi-free wet hole simply couldn't be refused, and I had the fortitude to deal with the resulting bullshit. I remember the last fattie I slept with was riding me, however my dick was only half way in and I thought she wasn't "sitting all the way down", so I asked her to bear down, to which she responded "I already am!". The awkward silence after that was deafening-- it was just that her ass was so big, her cheeks prevented me from burying my dick to the hilt.
 

BrotherWu

MAGA
<Silver Donator>
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Never did a fatty but I did date a skinny girl for a while and I found it less satisfying than a woman with some meat on her bones. I guess you can put me down in the a little on the heavy side > a little on the skinny side camp.
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
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Again, to be fair, I don't post about all the times nothing happens (you know, 90% of the time), or the times I make the smart choice, which admittedly is only about half the time. You have to take chances sometimes!
 

Slaythe

<Bronze Donator>
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Don't listen to these assholes, Onoes. Keep fucking crazy and telling us about it. We just had a fucking 12 page derail about home schooling. That's what happens without you.
 

chaos

Buzzfeed Editor
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Don't listen to these haters Bronoes, nothing wrong with fucking the wrong girl once or twice. Pretty sure it is something we are all familiar with. I had forgotten about the ex and the money thing, though. I probably should have been homeschooled and maybe I would remember things better.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Let's have some fun on Friday: I am now officially divorced. You may ask questions. I may answer some of them.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Do you have any nudes of your ex-wife to share?
No, nor would I share them if I had them. While I dislike the shit out of her, there are lines I wouldn't cross. Plus, objectively, they wouldn't be very exciting. Trust me.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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What led to the divorce?
Couldn't give you a definitive answer. Work travel caused some distance and we weren't communicating well at the time, but both of those are very fixable. I got blindsided, as divorce was 100% her idea and came very suddenly. The conversation that I expected to be "We're in a funk, let's reconnect/get some counseling" was instead "I give no shits about you, peace". It apparently caught all of our friends, family, etc completely off-guard as well.

While it is VERY possible she was cheating, I've found no evidence, nor have mutual friends. Which is strange, as that would explain things much better. I assume she was either thinking of cheating or had specific plans for after that fell through.

In retrospect, she was a shitty, selfish partner and probably did me a favor long term. I think I put on blinders because we met through close friends (and had many other close friends in common). I also let sunk cost fallacy cloud my judgement. Some good lessons learned come from bad experiences, I think.
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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Honestly, that's the best kind of divorce. I would much rather things just end than pointlessly try to fix something that one person doesn't have any real intention of fixing. You realizing she was shitty and selfish is a good start to moving on. Now you can enjoy being single(and selfish) without having to actually be a dick to someone in the process.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Honestly, that's the best kind of divorce. I would much rather things just end than pointlessly try to fix something that one person doesn't have any real intention of fixing. You realizing she was shitty and selfish is a good start to moving on. Now you can enjoy being single(and selfish) without having to actually be a dick to someone in the process.
Agreed. It should probably be said that it's been like 5 months since this started, so I've had time to reflect, discuss with others, and bounce back from it some. The processes (both legal and personal) take time.

It just became official, so on the off chance she were to take offense to my frank discussion of things on the interwebs, there's no longer a lawyer eagerly waiting to fuck me with the long dick of the law. Hence waiting until now.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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Congrats! Will you be dying your hair red, getting a bunch of dumb piercings, and banging fat chicks to celebrate your new found freedom? Should you go that route, please share your experiences here.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Congrats! Will you be dying your hair red, getting a bunch of dumb piercings, and banging fat chicks to celebrate your new found freedom? Should you go that route, please share your experiences here.
Ha! I'm not going full Onoes, but I'm sure I'll have some lulzy dating experiences since I've been out of the game for like 8 years and will be trying dating websites for the first time. I'll be sure to post my humiliation for others to poke fun at.

As for looks, I never fattened up while married. I dropped 15-20 lbs I didn't want to lose during the process from the stress involved; that sucked. Turns out it's a real mindfuck to find out someone you trusted implicitly was severely unworthy of said trust. Fortunately, as things progressed, I started eating better and more regularly, and started exercising as a productive distraction and dating preparation. So those formerly soft pounds returned as muscle (weight up, waist constant). That's a plus.