Izo
Tranny Chaser
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So when is the divorce now that she has you all beta? I kid, I kid. White Knight approved!
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
So we just moved across the country and basically hit reboot on our life a little bit. I just got over cancer. My daughter is a total wreck.
We are now integrating well enough into our new lives over here. The kids just started high school. The boy is on the soccer team (just JV this year). We have a lot of just stuff going on.
What I have decided is that from now I will just be more accessible for her. When he needs to be picked up from practice 30 minutes away I tell her I will do it. When she wants to go to the grocery store real quick and pick something up I would usually give her a request, smack her on the ass, and tell her to have fun. Now I go with her and push the cart around and pinch her ass when she bends over to get the beans. Instead of an office for me we set up like a joint area that we will spend most of our time in but when she goes down to make dinner I "go mobile" and sit on the couch down there if I can so someone is just there to talk to.
It has made her a lot happier. She is struggling with the fact that she has no friends but doesn't think going to the card shop and playing Magic is the way for her to make new ones! Her loss. The main problem is we are 45 min from her work and 30 min from my work. We aren't quite in the middle of nowhere, it's a country club on a lake, with a golf course but we don't know anyone yet. She just wants people to come hang out with her every so often. We will see how that goes.
We are now integrating well enough into our new lives over here. The kids just started high school. The boy is on the soccer team (just JV this year). We have a lot of just stuff going on.
What I have decided is that from now I will just be more accessible for her. When he needs to be picked up from practice 30 minutes away I tell her I will do it. When she wants to go to the grocery store real quick and pick something up I would usually give her a request, smack her on the ass, and tell her to have fun. Now I go with her and push the cart around and pinch her ass when she bends over to get the beans. Instead of an office for me we set up like a joint area that we will spend most of our time in but when she goes down to make dinner I "go mobile" and sit on the couch down there if I can so someone is just there to talk to.
It has made her a lot happier. She is struggling with the fact that she has no friends but doesn't think going to the card shop and playing Magic is the way for her to make new ones! Her loss. The main problem is we are 45 min from her work and 30 min from my work. We aren't quite in the middle of nowhere, it's a country club on a lake, with a golf course but we don't know anyone yet. She just wants people to come hang out with her every so often. We will see how that goes.
stupidmonkey
Not Smrt
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chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Yeah bros I don't know. I'm really going downhill this past week. Trying to get my shit together and figure out how to fix my relationship but mostly I just feel really lonely and really, really fucking depressed. Sorry to get all ladylike on you guys, Imma go lift to make up for it.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Nothing ladylike about it. You may not be able to fix it, you need to realize that.
Hah. Woman aren't irrational at least not anymore than men. We are the bigger problem many times because we think we are fucking heroes and pat ourselves on the back for doing things that we are supposed to be doing anyways when we agreed to enter a relationship.
Just like men, there are several kinds of woman:
1. Woman you avoid
2. Woman you are friends with
3. Woman you fuck and nothing more
4. Woman you marry
Same with guys. If you pick the wrong one to live with then its on you. Having a dick doesn't prevent crazy. You've been around here long enough to know that.
Just like with anyone, man or woman, you live with someone for 10 years they are going to grate on you. Communication is the only way that things like that can work. Communication is something guys tend to suck at. If you can't talk or if you think the 2 word answers you give are adequate then don't be surprised when it ends spectacularly when the straw breaks the camels back.
You can't treat your wife like a bro that you spend a few hours a week with at the bar drinking and watching the game. You know as well as I do if you live with that bro for 10 years you probably wouldn't be bros anymore either.
A lot of guys have more and better communication on this forum than they do with their spouse. Years of neglect affect her, years of you being a cold wasted husk of the person she started dating, you remember right? back when you cared about her, take its toll.
Token effort of things you should of been doing all these years (say that I love you example) might be a nice start but its hardly going to turn the ship around on its own. By all means people improve your relationships but just don't break your hand patting yourself on the back for finally doing something that you should of been doing all this time. Let it encourage you to keep stoking that fire like you did when you were dating and actually gave a fuck.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Izo
Tranny Chaser
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So what does this do to your plans? If she's voluntarily getting help now, does that put the hold on you moving out? Could she have sensed what you were about to do, given things like you getting a car, and done this in order to protect her ability to keep your son with her? If she can demonstrate she's trying, that kills your custody issue in some ways.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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She still doesn't know about my car. There were zero indicators...for that matter no one knows about my car. Even my mom and dad still think I'm looking.
I don't know what this does to my plans. Her and I talked before she went late last night and she said she knows she needs help and asked me to take her there. (we took her car) We hugged before she went in and that was that.
This was so out of left field and was the last thing I expected, I'm not sure what to think right now. I'm in limbo for another 4 or 5 days before I can proceed further so I guess we will see what happens tomorrow night when I pick her up. This was literally the only thing that would have got me to stay before...that and her continued treatment. I'm still separating finances regardless so I'll continue on that this week. I'm confused right now but for the moment, I'm still moving forward with things as I was before.
I don't know what this does to my plans. Her and I talked before she went late last night and she said she knows she needs help and asked me to take her there. (we took her car) We hugged before she went in and that was that.
This was so out of left field and was the last thing I expected, I'm not sure what to think right now. I'm in limbo for another 4 or 5 days before I can proceed further so I guess we will see what happens tomorrow night when I pick her up. This was literally the only thing that would have got me to stay before...that and her continued treatment. I'm still separating finances regardless so I'll continue on that this week. I'm confused right now but for the moment, I'm still moving forward with things as I was before.
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Strength, brother. I wish you clarity of thought and a clear path forward, whatever that is.