Marriage and the Power of Divorce

DickTrickle_sl said:

If she's slacking off but doesn't like any of his slacking off (insert better word choice there), then yeah, fuck her. If ALL of Frenzied's relationships have objectively played out like that, then it is unfair and they should go fuck off. I really have to question, though, about the type of women he's going after if they'reallplaying out like that. I guess I just have a hard time believing that is the objective reality and not just from his perspective. And maybe it is my bias at work in finding that hard to believe because my experiences haven't played out like that -- I feel like princesses are either somewhat easy to identify and thus not chase after or don't strongly manifest if you never treat them like a princess (one reason I think you shouldn't start off treating a woman like one).

I don't know, good luck either way.

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This is what I was saying when I said some people are easier to please than others. Some people aren't cut out for long term relationships. You understand?

Khane_sl said:

What you're saying is impossible unless you're a stone cold heartless bastard. The excitement of something new can take over in an instant.

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I'm very good at divorcing emotions from logic but probably not better than anyone else. I got burned way too fucking many times when I was younger with relationships that burned as hot as the sun for 3 months and then completely blew up like a rocket. So I stopped letting myself get infatuated with people. Possibly it was the fact that I eventually found online dating to be little more than a video game where I was just maximizing my chance to meet someone and if it didn't work out I felt there was very little cost I sunk into it. But if I found myself fawning over someone or constantly checking my phone to see if she's texting I just stepped back to reality and set up a date with someone else.

But your inability to recognize your own faults with lines like:

You didn't do anything extra special to "seal the lifetime deal" while you were dating. You got kinda lucky. That's real talk.

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Indicates to me you just don't get it at a fundamental level. I didn't manage to get my wife to marry me with four years of coincidence leading up to her not leaving me. "Real talk" is you seem to think more highly of yourself than the rest of the world.

Tenks_sl said:

I'm very good at divorcing emotions from logic but probably not better than anyone else. I got burned way too fucking many times when I was younger with relationships that burned as hot as the sun for 3 months and then completely blew up like a rocket. So I stopped letting myself get infatuated with people. Possibly it was the fact that I eventually found online dating to be little more than a video game where I was just maximizing my chance to meet someone and if it didn't work out I felt there was very little cost I sunk into it. But if I found myself fawning over someone or constantly checking my phone to see if she's texting I just stepped back to reality and set up a date with someone else.

But your inability to recognize your own faults with lines like:



Indicates to me you just don't get it at a fundamental level. I didn't manage to get my wife to marry me with four years of coincidence leading up to her not leaving me. "Real talk" is you seem to think more highly of yourself than the rest of the world.

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What you don't seem to understand is you're agreeing with everything I've said. You got jaded just like Frenzied, Kirun, Fifey and I are jaded. Are you seriously accusing Frenzied and I of being the type of men who get infatuated? Letting yourself live in the moment is a far cry from being infatuated. Come on now Tenks...

And you really didn't do anything special. You think you figured it all out and that's why you're happily married? Sorry to burst your bubble you didn't. You got a little lucky. You didn't crack the love code bro.

I think that, when getting a new job, you want to present yourself exactly as you plan to act while working there. There was a dude we interviewed that came dressed in a full suit, hair slicked back, the works. He seemed very impressive so we hired him. His first day of work, he came in late, unshowered, in a sweatshirt and jeans. We told him that if he ever showed up like that again he would be fired.

Relationships, on the other hand, are evolutionary

Clearly when people start a relationship the act with their best foot forward. its not really fair to call it "faking" because I don't fart in front of her on the first date. Its more like the best and most likable version of themselves instead of a fake version.

Khane_sl said:

What you don't seem to understand is you're agreeing with everything I've said. You got jaded just like Frenzied, Kirun, Fifey and I are jaded. Are you seriously accusing Frenzied and I of being the type of men who get infatuated? Letting yourself live in the moment is a far cry from being infatuated. Come on now Tenks...

And you really didn't do anything special. You think you figured it all out and that's why you're happily married? Sorry to burst your bubble you didn't. You got a little lucky. You didn't crack the love code bro.

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You are so completely wrong its hilarious. Keep doing your thing. I'll just make sure to stay lucky. Sorry to hear the entire universe is out to get you and the dice just aren't going in your direction. Hopefully next time you bet both black and red on the roulette wheel of love double 00 doesn't come up because according to you thats the only key for a strong relationship.

The true test of a relationship is your comfort level when farting with your partner around, and her comfort level letting one rip. It is known.

lurkingdirk_sl said:

The true test of a relationship is your comfort level when farting with your partner around, and her comfort level letting one rip. It is known.

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If you've slept over at their house chances are you've probably already farted infront of them anyways. Or against them.

Tenks_sl said:

You are so completely wrong its hilarious. Keep doing your thing. I'll just make sure to stay lucky. Sorry to hear the entire universe is out to get you and the dice just aren't going in your direction. Hopefully next time you bet both black and red on the roulette wheel of love double 00 doesn't come up because according to you thats the only key for a strong relationship.

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I'm not sure how you're drawing that parallel. Never have I pretended the universe is out to get me. I completely and fully understand why I am, and will probably remain to be single.

You gonna make me search the "Recommend a dating website" thread to pull up all that nonsense about hiding the fact that you like playing video games because it's not socially acceptable? Don't be a hypocrite.

Khane_sl said:

Do you know what venting is?

Let me interpret for you. And Frenzied can correct me if I'm way off base. This is what he's saying:

"Listen, we're both older, we've both been at this a while and we both know how this works. I'm gonna treat you extra special and you're gonna make yourself extra pretty for me at first. Then eventually we're gonna fall into a routine. I'm totally cool with you wearing chucks instead of heels after a while, so I hope you're totally cool with me not treating you like a princess 100% of the time we're together. Let's be honest... I'm never gonna meet a princess, and you're never gonna meet a knight in shining armor"

And what he's saying is, he's ok with the evolution of the relationship, so why the fuck aren't the women he's dating? And there is a lot of truth to that. A LOT of women expect men to dote on them forever without putting any effort into being doting themselves. This happens a lot. It's why I've almost, but not quite, gotten married twice. Because when push came to shove they showed me they don't want an equal partnership, they want to be taken care of. Fuck that.

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Wow, step away for a few hours and look what happens lol..

This is exactly what I think/mean, thanks for saving me a few hours of trying to explain it to Dick..

Dick, there is nothing "fraudulent" in shifting behaviors as a relationship endures. If a guy represents himself as rich, when in fact he's poor, that's fraudulent. If a guy portrays himself as a party animal when he's a WoW hermit, that's fraudulent. Being willing to do things at the start of the relationship in order to get to know someone, but being less inclined to do it at the same frequency later on isn't "fraud", it's natural. In the case of my Top Golf example, she knew I wasn't into golf, and must have known that I wasn't into spending all Saturday with four of her fucking girlfriends. Have you ever heard of the "honeymoon phase" bro, because that's pretty much what I'm talking about here. You fucked three times per day when you first met, now you only want to fuck every other day. Does that mean you don't care about her? Or that you're cheating on her? No, but unfortunately a lot of chicks ruminate over these things and concoct fictional scenarios in their brains that create The Crazy. I don't react well to Crazy, pull away in response because I don't do the "female emotional light switch" that allows them to go from raging hatred to wanting to fuck over the period of a millisecond, which in turn feeds their craziness and suspicion even more.

All I'm saying is that maintaining the same level of "courtship" indefinitely is impossible and unrealistic. Relationships develop routine over time. I have no problem with the girlfriend not getting dolled up as much as she used to, but it just seems a lot of women get crazy/suspicious if you don't maintain the same level of attentiveness.

I didn't have this problem with French Canadian women back in Canada, so maybe it's a cultural thing. I just find women here suffer a lot more from princess syndrome if they're attractive, and it's impossible to maintain the level of attention they want.

Relationships.

You're like a sage Mrs. G. Casually eloquent. Well spoken and sincere.

"I was only mad at him once... ONCE!"

And now I want to listen to The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

Just because I was willing to sacrifice a Saturday playing Top Golf with her and her annoying friends, doesn't mean I'm always going to be open to doing that.

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Top Golf sounds fun, too bad you don't have titties.

Okay but what about queefs?