Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Aazrael

Aazrael

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Thanks for the input guys. Listing stuff in a post does put issues into text and is easier to reflect over. Most of the stuff mentioned slowly came into being over a few years and I did not really see all the "problems" really until now.

I'm kinda a loner by choice so I don't speak about personal things with anyone. If I end up alone the it's time to rekindle my friendships I've forsaken lately. They can point and laugh and then we talk shit again like the olden days.

And while I might not be a super boyfriend I can see that most of the issues we have now is due to her mental health, she got diagnosed adhd earlier but there must be something else that is ailing her. But zero communication does not make me any wiser.

We will see where this ends but I'm kinda already steeling myself for her leaving and that we probably end up making me feeling better. With the VR technology and sex toys I see alternative options! :p
 
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Izo

Izo

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Aazrael said:
Without her plants that consume tons of electricity and all the other costs of animals etc I'll get a much better economy myself living here alone.
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Is your gf a grower? Run, dude.
 
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Omi43221

Omi43221

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Aazrael said:
Thanks for the input guys. Listing stuff in a post does put issues into text and is easier to reflect over. Most of the stuff mentioned slowly came into being over a few years and I did not really see all the "problems" really until now.

I'm kinda a loner by choice so I don't speak about personal things with anyone. If I end up alone the it's time to rekindle my friendships I've forsaken lately. They can point and laugh and then we talk shit again like the olden days.

And while I might not be a super boyfriend I can see that most of the issues we have now is due to her mental health, she got diagnosed adhd earlier but there must be something else that is ailing her. But zero communication does not make me any wiser.

We will see where this ends but I'm kinda already steeling myself for her leaving and that we probably end up making me feeling better. With the VR technology and sex toys I see alternative options! :p
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You should remember as a guy , if you have a stable job that is decent and are a relatively decent human being your value in the dating market goes up as time goes on. That's just the nature of the current dating trends. Sucks having to start over but bright side is you might find someone who appreciates everything you have to offer.
 
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Big Phoenix

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Aazrael said:
So as of right now I'm basically paying for everything in the house and everything associciated with that (animals/cars/insurance). Confronted her after I noticed the messege and asked what the reason for her wanting to leave was and I get the "i dont feel like I can get back on my feet in this house". That she was overwhelmed by chores (dishes/washing?) all the while I've been working 6 days a week for a while due to huge workload.
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So you provide her with a life of luxury and her response is to feel bad and talk to her mom about leaving?

Make the choice for her, break up and be done with her.
 
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Aazrael

Aazrael

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Alex said:
It's so telling that he seems most upset about the dogs.
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Well I'm kinda upset about the whole thing. But I can't force someone to stay if that's the choice she wants. The dogs dindu nuffing though.
 
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Aazrael

Aazrael

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And to be frank if she had said that I'm to blame and she now hates me that would have been fine, but the reason she gave is just that she need to start over with zero money and zero income for 5 years due to her fucked up debts.

The state will take like 90% of her earnings for 5 years and she will be left with cash for food and rent pretty much. After that she will be cleared of debt.

"It's not you it's me" probably isn't exclusive to the movies. But I rather people say what they think.
 
Alex

Alex

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Aazrael said:
The state will take like 90% of her earnings for 5 years and she will be left with cash for food and rent pretty much. After that she will be cleared of debt.
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Wait a minute we're told socialist handouts are free over here.
 
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Omi43221

Omi43221

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Aazrael said:
And to be frank if she had said that I'm to blame and she now hates me that would have been fine, but the reason she gave is just that she need to start over with zero money and zero income for 5 years due to her fucked up debts.

The state will take like 90% of her earnings for 5 years and she will be left with cash for food and rent pretty much. After that she will be cleared of debt.

"It's not you it's me" probably isn't exclusive to the movies. But I rather people say what they think.
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Is she planning on going through a bankruptcy? If so what is the debt from?
 
Aazrael

Aazrael

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Omi43221 said:
Is she planning on going through a bankruptcy? If so what is the debt from?
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Yea pretty much. She did have debts when we met but when we got the house we got some help collecting them into a better loan for her.

During 7 or so years it seems the debt have slowly grown until recently when she did not have enough to pay the bills and they went to the collector. Bad loans with interest rates. Also purchasing plants on the net which I now know can be fucking expensive. All without mentioning it. But for me money inst everything and was a problem to be solved. Her wanting to leave makes me not give a fuck about her debt.

We have some called Debt Sanitation here, you can apply and if you get accepted you get your salary taken for 5 years and given money for rent/food/essentials. It's 5 years of living poorly though but after that you are debt free.

Her not working and getting 80% out of 80% and still buying shit made it crash.
 
Aazrael

Aazrael

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And to add, if you live alone you get keep more than when sharing a home... so if that's a reason to leave so she gets more money each month then I don't even want to think about it anymore. But bitches be crazy.
 
Omi43221

Omi43221

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Aazrael said:
Yea pretty much. She did have debts when we met but when we got the house we got some help collecting them into a better loan for her.

During 7 or so years it seems the debt have slowly grown until recently when she did not have enough to pay the bills and they went to the collector. Bad loans with interest rates. Also purchasing plants on the net which I now know can be fucking expensive. All without mentioning it. But for me money inst everything and was a problem to be solved. Her wanting to leave makes me not give a fuck about her debt.

We have some called Debt Sanitation here, you can apply and if you get accepted you get your salary taken for 5 years and given money for rent/food/essentials. It's 5 years of living poorly though but after that you are debt free.

Her not working and getting 80% out of 80% and still buying shit made it crash.
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So she ran up this debt buying plant shit? So she's a child who completely lacks fiscal responsibility and doesn't have a job? There must be something I am missing here. She sucks cock like a champ right? Tell me there's more than the dogs are cool.
 
Aazrael

Aazrael

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Omi43221 said:
So she ran up this debt buying plant shit? So she's a child who completely lacks fiscal responsibility and doesn't have a job? There must be something I am missing here. She sucks cock like a champ right? Tell me there's more than the dogs are cool.
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No I'm just stupid I guess.

And she is a nurse and I was hoping against the odds she would be back to work and not be like AL Bundys wife.
 
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Izo

Izo

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Perhaps we can help assess whether she has different career options. If you'd post some photographical evidence of this poor, indebted plant loving female in her natural state here the process will be much smoother.
 
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Omi43221

Omi43221

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Aazrael said:
No I'm just stupid I guess.

And she is a nurse and I was hoping against the odds she would be back to work and not be like AL Bundys wife.
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She's a nurse that is having trouble finding work? Whoah...that is way different than the states. Nurses are probably the most in demand proffesion in this country.
 
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Aazrael

Aazrael

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Yea maybe she can go that route when single...

I'll say this. She did 3 years getting educated as a nurse. I saw a good future in front of us back then. The her mental health took a beating and it's just been "maybe next month" and then 2 years have passed with zero improvement then she drops the bomb that she want to leave.

I did not analyze at all during this just kinda "wait and see" and that's my fault really. Maybe this solved itself for the best in the end.
 
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Aazrael

Aazrael

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Omi43221 said:
She's a nurse that is having trouble finding work? Whoah...that is way different than the states. Nurses are probably the most in demand proffesion in this country.
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No she is employed but on sick leave for 2 years. There's no shortage for nurses here but she just can't get back to the job and blames the house as mentioned earlier...
 
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Aazrael

Aazrael

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I'm not really sure what's the diagnosis is atm. She got burned out during a summer working due to high load before the pandemic. Then got diagnosed with adhd and haven't been back to work since then. I guess burnout and depression or something. The glorious health are system isn't working all that smoothly nowadays even here in socialist Sweden so it's fucking slow getting help.
 
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Omi43221

Omi43221

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Aazrael said:
No she is employed but on sick leave for 2 years. There's no shortage for nurses here but she just can't get back to the job and blames the house as mentioned earlier...
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2 years..uh I dont even know where to start with that one. Clearly that's a lot more than adhd or Im not living in a house with good fung shui. I wish you the best of luck. I think if you end things it will turn out for the best. Sometimes helping and being a crutch for someone hurts them more than letting them bottom and getting themselves right.
 
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