Misunderstood pro football player donates an Xbox to a cancer ward

Since this thread is hilarious but we're all feeling a bit let down right now because there's no check, I will relate the story of the time I played along with a (suspected Russian, is that racist??) scammer that wanted me to buy thousands of dollars in iTunes cards so they could buy a new phone and send me nudes. I'll skip most of the details that you can probably guess, although there was an amusing part where I told "her" that I wanted to make sure we were compatible sexually so I asked if it was ok if I fisted her butthole, and when she said nothing would make her happier, I then explained how I liked to fall asleep with my fist in place (post-coitus of course), and was that ok? Of course! This led to all the fake Western Union receipts I sent using "butthole" as the secret code word, which I found particularly satisfying.

Anyway, Void, you ask, what does this have to do with the fabled golden Vikings check? Well, you see, the photoshop work this scammer did was amazing. I expect to see something of a similar caliber later on in this thread, and if I don't I think I'll be disappointed.

I asked the scammer to send me a pic of "her" holding a sign that simply said, "Hello <my name>." Obviously the person they were impersonating never took a pic like that so they were screwed unless they did some masterful image editing. This was their first response (spoilered for size, and some suspense):
Yes, the chick is kind of fugly looking, that wasn't the point, I knew it was a scammer from the very first message.

As you can see, she couldn't even follow directions! And she insisted that was a piece of paper, not a whited-out phone, and that she just liked to hold paper funny. I also asked how she got someone to take her pic in a mirror without being seen. Crickets. A couple of days later she finally got back to me with another one (the blacked out name is my doing).
Note the attention to detail with the blue lines, making it irrefutable that this must be a piece of paper! Same exact "handwriting" as the first one too!

That was the best I was going to get however, so I strung them along for awhile until I finally got tired of it and told them I had bought a bunch of iTunes cards (used googled images of the ones I supposedly bought) and was ready to give them the codes. Of course they demanded that I take pics of the codes (I guess I was the untrustworthy one here), so this is the pic I sent.

I'm kind of proud of that work! It is certainly better than their attempt! And as you can see from the response, she literally did not even recognize one of the most recognizable selfies of the past year or two and was still laser-focused on getting those damn codes. I literally just had to give up at that point, because there was going to be no satisfying end with someone that dumb and/or out of touch.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I only hope that the fabled Vikings check is more exciting than my terrible story.

DickTrickle said:

Great story, Void. Those pictures are fantastic.

Ut hasn't been online for 15 hours. I'm thinking maybe he'll go with the "my house burned down so I can't show the check" story.

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I don't believe he would stoop that low.

Araysar got ya pinned Ut. You need to win the belt! Dig in deep!


Utnayan reaaaaaaaaach for the ropes!

pharmakos said:

Utnayan homeboy, don't be too proud, even if it is the truth, just say you were lying. the Nintendo threads won't be the same without you.

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I'm not sure we can accept a "ok i was lying but wink wink i really wasnt" confession.

pharmakos said:

well hopefully he wouldn't put it like that.

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i know i'm in the minority here, but i actually really enjoy Utnayan's alcohol fueld rants. his Drunken Game Night initiative also was a net gain for the forum... i didn't personally participate but it seems like the people that did had a jolly time.

admittedly, my bar is lower than most people's -- you have to be a reaaaaal piece of shit for me to dislike you.

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Make sure to get his email address then. You can watch him play Solitaire on his phone while he's wasted for the next year.

can i get a tl;dr on this thread

AladainAF said:

can i get a tl;dr on this thread

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Utnayan has claimed for over a decade to be a famous NFL player who played for the Vikings and we are about 6 hours from discovering how true that is.

Araysar said:

we are about 6 hours from discovering how true that is.

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God damn Utnayan think of the children!


Think of TOBY!

I'm pretty sure Utnayan has never been off this board for more than 19 hours in a row.

Ut, I know you're reading this. Its time to come clean.