Montreal

Never been, but I hear the strippers are amazing.

I lived there until I was 32 and with the exception of the winter weather and French political stupidity, it still ranks as one of my favorite cities in the world. That being said, you are going during the coldest time of the year, so unfortunately your experience is going to be diminished as you won't be able to take part in fun outdoor activities like strolling through Old Montreal staring at super hot French chicks. Assuming you're not interested in skiing, that leaves you with two relatively unique activities-- eating and strip clubs. Maybe a Montreal Canadiens hockey game if that's your thing..

Eating:
A day doesn't go by where I don't dream of a Montreal Shawarma, Gyro, or smoked meat sandwich. Visit any of the following restaurants (depending on your tastes) for an amazing mouth orgasm:

Breakfast: Eggspectations or Beauty's
Greek: Marathon or Arahova Souvlaki
Middle eastern: Restaurant Boustan or Amir
Local French: Pieds du Cochon (everything lathered in fois gras and maple syrup)
Deli: Schwartz's Deli (the best "brisket" style sandwich you'll ever have)

All of the above are located either in, or near, downtown.

Strip Clubs:
Always took these for granted while I lived there, until I moved to the US and saw the strippers then realized I had taken the Garden of Stripper Eden for granted all my life. First off, there is no such thing as a "topless bar", and the locals will look on you with pity and horror if you describe such a thing. There are only 1) Fully nude "gentlemen's clubs" where you can look but not touch, and the more common 2) "full contact" bar. At the full contact bar you can touch the woman during the lap dance anywhere above the waist.. Lap dances are typically $10 per dance, and whether it be a "gentlemen's club" or "full contact", there are usually free lesbo shows (on the weekend) going down on the stage. No matter what, you should visit "Club Wanda's" (downtown) which is a "gentlemen's club" with literally the hottest strippers you will ever see. For full contact, just walk down Ste-Catherines street and walk into whichever club catches your fancy.. They are not discreet and can't be missed. Super-Sex across the street from an old Church and near The Gap is probably the most touristy and famous full contact club.

If you're interested in other things specifically, let me know and I'll do my best to help you out.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

Local French: Pieds du Cochon (everything lathered in fois gras and maple syrup)

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Skip lunch and make reservations here. Thank us later.

Captain Suave_sl said:

Skip lunch and make reservations here. Thank us later.

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I'm just thinking about it right now and my diverticulitis feels like it will flare up. Hands down one of the tastiest, fattest, and sinfully good dinners you will ever have, and probably one of the few restaurants where having a bulimia condition may actually save your life in the long run..

Hmm i'll also be going here in a few months, but im more looking for stuff to do not eat.

X X E X X_sl said:

Hmm i'll also be going here in a few months, but im more looking for stuff to do not eat.

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What kinds of things are you looking to do? Museums, tours, sights, night clubs? Really the only problem is that it is so damn cold at this time of the year.. Jazz festival, grand prix, comedy festival-- all take place during the summer.

Yeah i dont think it will be in summer - more than likely March/April.

Jazz, Fest, and some sights would be my guess.

Very good poutine -Poutine La Banquise
Amazing Bisons burger -CommeChezSoi restaurant Montreal(one of my favorite restaurant to go lunch near where I work.)
You could try to go see a habs game if you can get tickets.
Never been there but I heard it was really good. Ma grosse truie cherie. -http://www.chezmagrossetruiecherie.com/


Yeah the stripper club are quite something here. My buddies brought me to the kamasutra for my bachelor party 2 years ago. Amazing place to go when you have near limitless budget (Buddies paid for me)

What kind of recomendations is that, you guys are jews from ndg or living isolated in west isle or what ?

Don't be scared to mesh with the locals, hit the metro and underground malls, jardin botanique and the area, old port, even during winter the place is amazing, st-hubert plaza and alot lot more. Downtown is fun for sure, but there's better.
Grab some friends and hitL'auberge du Dragon Rouge - restaurant médiéval, again ,don't be scared to mesh with the locals. You guys will have a blast.

For the strip joint, laval and longeuile are the perfect areas, Just make sure you're with some friends.

roger_sl said:

What kind of recomendations is that, you guys are jews from ndg or living isolated in west isle or what ?

Don't be scared to mesh with the locals, hit the metro and underground malls, jardin botanique and the area, old port, even during winter the place is amazing, st-hubert plaza and alot lot more. Downtown is fun for sure, but there's better.
Grab some friends and hitL'auberge du Dragon Rouge - restaurant médiéval, again ,don't be scared to mesh with the locals. You guys will have a blast.

For the strip joint, laval and longeuile are the perfect areas, Just make sure you're with some friends.

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Frenchie Jean-Guy rustling detected..

ROFL, you want to send tourists to fucking Laval and Longeuile-- desolate, remote, ugly suburbia? You're going to send him to strip clubs there instead of downtown? Why, because can get a BJ cheap from some South Shore skank with a fresh C-section scar?

My recommendations are based on what an American would want to see/eat/do. Your recommendations are better for those on bien-etre social. He's from "sunny LA" and you want to send him to tour the old port in most likely -15C weather?

I've guided plenty of american friends around montreal and the subs and they always loved the none tourists kinda of way, and i'm not talking only for angry ninja. Montreal is an amazing place in winter, even the old port with all it's winter attractions. But i'm sure you're an expert and know the whole isle, since you mentioned you were skipping and dodging winter all your life. No wonder you're scared of the locals and you moved away.

roger_sl said:

I've guided plenty of american friends around montreal and the subs and they always loved the none tourists kinda of way, and i'm not talking only for angry ninja. Montreal is an amazing place in winter, even the old port with all it's winter attractions. But i'm sure you're an expert and know the whole isle, since you mentioned you were skipping and dodging winter all your life. No wonder you're scared of the locals and you moved away.

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No I moved away because Quebec has become a welfare state sucking on Canada's teet, and the provincial government had become a near Nazi regime even before Pauline Marois showed up. That and I had a family member down here that was sick..Montreal is great, the rest of the province drags it down.

Personally, the words "amazing place" and "-20C weather" don't mix for me, but it was kind of hard to "dodge" winter when it encompassed half a year. I'm by no means an "expert" on the island, but I did live there for 32 years-- long enough to realize that there is nothing for a tourist to see in Longeuil and Laval. Even local residents only live there because they can't afford a home on the island itself.

Even Montreal is not much of a tourist city. There is nothing to see. The only thing that makes Montreal lively and awesome are all its festivals and events. Unfortunately, they are all pretty much during the summer.

Not a tourist city? Habitat 67 disagrees.

So I'm going to be here in fucking January for work. But I've never been. Pretty much sounds like the only thing to do is eat. What about drinking? Good cocktail bars? Spots with live music? Jazz, funk, rock clubs of any sort?