New movies that dont deserve their own thread.

Juvarisx

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Watched Long Distance on Hulu via D+.

Simple Sci-Fi movie - a large ship crashes on a alien planet instead of it's intended destination and man in cryo wakes up 4 years early and has to try and survive / find any survivors. The lead is Anthony Ramos (Hamilton, Ironheart).

This is a movie iirc that was made before/during the Pandemic, not good enough for theaters but with respectable FX for a cheap streaming-only movie, was on the shelf for years apparently and they decided to just shove it out on Hulu recently. Formerly named Distant, renamed to Long Distance. Neither are great names. Might have had some brief international release somewhere.

I won't link the trailer, as it shows a lot and I went in basically knowing the one-liner above (I only saw the trailer after I saw the movie).

Man theres a version of this movie in my head where he ends up alone and shuts the fuck up except for his suit AI scolding him. This had money put into it but it just didnt quite work for me, particularly the dialogue from the main character. Monsters were neat though.
 
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Izo

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Every 2025 Movie Flop Explained in 22 Minutes - YouTube
 
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kroenen

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The movie you've all been waiting for is finally out on VOD and torrents. Now you can experience the pain of Black farmers trying to defend their family from white cannibals.
 
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Dr.Retarded

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The movie you've all been waiting for is finally out on VOD and torrents. Now you can experience the pain of Black farmers trying to defend their family from white cannibals.

Its Happening Ron Paul GIF

In all honesty that movie might actually deserve its own thread so we can shit on it properly.
 
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Utnayan

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The movie you've all been waiting for is finally out on VOD and torrents. Now you can experience the pain of Black farmers trying to defend their family from white cannibals.


This brings rooting for the bad guys to the next level.
 
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Juvarisx

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Why Modern Movies Suck - They're Completely Forgettable - YouTube


While I dont necessarily disagree with the premise I find it amusing that people dont think movies kinda have always sucked. We remember like 2 dozen movies from the entire decade of the 80's, we just dont remember the absolute slop that came and poofed from the movie theater in 1 week in Feb 1986.

Top of your head, no peaking best movie of 1994 go!

Not that easy is it?

Highest grosing was Lion King, best picture was Forest Gump. And while you remember those movies they don't come to your head instantly as like a Jurassic Park does

I'd also argue our collective attention spans have been obliterated by social media and people 100% never get off their phones while watching shit anymore.
 
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kroenen

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In all honesty that movie might actually deserve its own thread so we can shit on it properly.

Sorry, I can’t help you there. I have no experience on how to create threads in the entertainment forum.

I kind of want to watch it just to see how hilariously bad it's going to be.

I want to watch it too and learn the art of Black farming, like raising chickens, growing crops for waffles, and planting watermelons.
 
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Dr.Retarded

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Sorry, I can’t help you there. I have no experience on how to create threads in the entertainment forum.



I want to watch it too and learn the art of Black farming, like raising chickens, growing crops for waffles, and planting watermelons.
There's obviously a white, racist plantation owner from the Union running the ship in the background, that's why they're able to actually have a farm, that's the Twilight Zone twist...

Season 5 Omg GIF by Paramount+
 
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Dr.Retarded

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Man, I really miss In Living Color and your annual Wayans Brothers films from the 90s



I hope they're all retired and enjoying fried Chicken and watermelon to their heart's content, and I don't mean that as a bad thing because I love fried Chicken and watermelon. My wife bought one on sale the other day and we made watermelon daiquiris this past weekend. They were delicious.
 
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kroenen

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Man, I really miss In Living Color and your annual Wayans Brothers films from the 90s



I hope they're all retired and enjoying fried Chicken and watermelon to their heart's content, and I don't mean that as a bad thing because I love fried Chicken and watermelon. My wife bought one on sale the other day and we made watermelon daiquiris this past weekend. They were delicious.

Maybe we’re soul brothers, then, because I like chicken and watermelon too. I’ve never tried chicken with waffles, though. Have you?
 
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Dr.Retarded

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Maybe we’re soul brothers, then, because I like chicken and watermelon too. I’ve never tried chicken with waffles, though. Have you?
No, Chicken and waffles is a dish designed for magicians and hipster faggots.

The last thing I think about when I just want some spicy fried chicken is oh my God I want some stupid sweet waffles with some maple syrup. That's totally gay and doesn't work.

If you have proper fried Chicken you have bitter greens, maybe some red beans and rice, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, or even Cajun battered french fries.

I don't eat fucking pancakes with fried catfish or crawfish. Stupid sweet additions to savory flavors of Creole or Cajun dishes is antithetical to that type of cuisine, and the only thing that is acceptable from a sweetness standpoint is proper cornbread cooked in a cast iron skillet with a stick of butter. That's the only thing you should ever have with fried chicken from a baked sort of standpoint.

My wife likes that shit for some reason, and on her birthday I have to make homemade waffles, but I make the proper Belgian kind and will fry up some bacon and eggs to go with it, but I'm not putting a piece of fried chicken on her God damn waffle.

Do you smoke menthol cigarettes?
 
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Dr.Retarded

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Spicy fried chicken… yeah… normal fried chicken however….mmm
Nope. Waffles and any fried chicken are a no go.

I know I said I'm cornbread, stupid chicken and waffles was breaking my brain, but buttermilk biscuits are also acceptable, especially when basted with salted butter.

Don't get me wrong I like waffles but I just want waffles and your normal breakfast accoutrements. The real lazy restaurant that do brunch and what have you will just throw stupid chicken tenders on it and for some reason idiots eat it up.

It's like people that dip their God damn breakfast sausage in jelly / jam, just because you can doesn't mean you should.