Ocean's Eight (2018)

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Screamfeeder

The Dirtbag
<Banned>
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So I'm ashamed to admit that I got pressed into seeing this POS by my date instead of Deadpool 2. That alone should be a red flag to find another date, but she was hot so I caved.
I walked by the giant poster for this with my girl (Hollywood Junior Exec type) after we went and saw Solo a second time a while back and her exact words were "Jesus fucking christ who in the hell would pay to see this pandering bullshit in a theater. We will save that for a stoned night home alone."

I hope you enjoyed your date.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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I walked by the giant poster for this with my girl (Hollywood Junior Exec type) after we went and saw Solo a second time a while back and her exact words were "Jesus fucking christ who in the hell would pay to see this pandering bullshit in a theater. We will save that for a stoned night home alone."

I hope you enjoyed your date.

I'll put up with A LOT for a pair of DDD titties.
 
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Screamfeeder

The Dirtbag
<Banned>
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I'll put up with A LOT for a pair of DDD titties.
You think those are great, you should see what a sane, stable, brilliant woman that leaves you alone when you want and indulges your massive G-scale train and lego habit could do for you.

I hope you got a handful of them DDD or I'd call that a loss brother.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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You think those are great, you should see what a sane, stable, brilliant woman that leaves you alone when you want and indulges your massive G-scale train and lego habit could do for you.

I hope you got a handful of them DDD or I'd call that a loss brother.

Yeah but I'm sure she has TDS, doesn't shave her pits, and wears hipster clothes from Free People and an "I do anal" choker from Forever 21.

Stop pretending it's about their personality and not their body Scream. You're from LA and work in Hollywood, you have a reputation to uphold. Don't see how you can ever expect to write the script for the next Entourage movie with an attitude like that.
 
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Screamfeeder

The Dirtbag
<Banned>
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Yeah but I'm sure she has TDS, doesn't shave her pits, and wears hipster clothes from Free People and an "I do anal" choker from Forever 21.

Stop pretending it's about their personality and not their body Scream. You're from LA and work in Hollywood, you have a reputation to uphold. Don't see how you can ever expect to write the script for the next Entourage movie with an attitude like that.
Pfft. See, you ain't from here in the Inner Circle. We get to have both. In whatever backwater you are from you have to pick and choose your mates based on Brain or Body (or maybe just Breathing).

Not here my friend. The bounty is plentiful.

For the record she doesn't gives a shit about politics (Thinks Bernie is a fag and Trump is a clown), is hairless from eyebrow down and she wore this green and black yoga thing this morning that cost more than my last months Steam account. It worked son. Oh hell did it work.

So based on these long winded replies and our give and take with no answer from you, I am going to assume you didn't even get a shoulder rub against those DDD's.

Shame.
 
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Brahma

Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
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So I'm ashamed to admit that I got pressed into seeing this POS by my date instead of Deadpool 2. That alone should be a red flag to find another date, but she was hot so I caved.

Though I've never been a huge fan of any of the Ocean movies, they were at least entertaining and featured a selection of serviceable actors. This movie was basically just a shitty version of the previous Ocean movies with even shittier actors.

While even the previous Ocean movies required a certain level of suspension of disbelief, typically along the lines of accepting that all "steps" of their heist would play out as predicted, this movie stretches that a mile farther-- way past the point where you can accept what's going on as plausible. Basically, whoever conceived the logistics for their heist didn't even bother brainstorming for some plausible scenarios, and just rammed in a bunch of unlikely coincidences as a replacement for a logical story. It's the type of movie where as the heist unfolds, you just constantly go "oh, c'mon lol" at the unlikely series of events.

Then you've got the Ocean's "team". Sandra Bullock as the icy logistician that plots the heist-- she basically has one facial expression the entire movie, though that may be more the plastic surgery than her acting ability. You've got Cate Blanchett as a tomboy motorcycle broad, weirdo looking ghetto gangsta Asian broad as the pickpocket, Mindy kailing as a jewel specialist, Helena Carter as a fashion designer, and fucking Rihanna as their badass "IT hacker" rofl.. None of them are particularly convincing in their roles.. Watching Rihanna hack with her Macbook is particularly amusing.

Finally, if the poorly written heist wasn't bad enough, there is zero action/violence in this movie--none. No guns, no physical altercations-- not even someone getting knocked out. Now you don't need violence to make a good movie, but in a heist movie removing it entirely ups your requirement for story/character depth, of which this movie was sorely lacking. As a result, long periods just feel boring.

Oh yeah, there's only one male character in this movie that gets more than a few minutes screen time, and of course he's a rich philandering artist douchebag.

5/10 and that's kinda generous considering no violence, no nudity, no humor of worth, and a nonsensical heist plot.

Thank You. I will fight NOT to see this tooth and nail when when of these chicks insist we see it.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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Pfft. See, you ain't from here in the Inner Circle. We get to have both. In whatever backwater you are from you have to pick and choose your mates based on Brain or Body (or maybe just Breathing).

Not here my friend. The bounty is plentiful.

For the record she doesn't gives a shit about politics (Thinks Bernie is a fag and Trump is a clown), is hairless from eyebrow down and she wore this green and black yoga thing this morning that cost more than my last months Steam account. It worked son. Oh hell did it work.

So based on these long winded replies and our give and take with no answer from you, I am going to assume you didn't even get a shoulder rub against those DDD's.

Shame.

It's a foregone conclusion brah; I don't need to gloat about pounding pussy anymore-- I'm 45. In any case, getting into Millennial panties is a trivial exercise-- this isn't 90's dating anymore. Play your cards even remotely right, spring for some lobster tail and a good cabernet, and you're in.

I mean one day I hope to bag a cool Hollywood power-exec with a playmate body that can roll a two paper joint, but alas until then I will just have to live in your shadow.
 

Screamfeeder

The Dirtbag
<Banned>
13,309
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It's a foregone conclusion brah; I don't need to gloat about pounding pussy anymore-- I'm 45.
Bitch we are talking about some date you went on 3 goddamn days ago. Did you touch these boobs or not motherfucker? What is this "lets not get into the past" garbage son!

I mean one day I hope to bag a cool Hollywood power-exec with a playmate body that can roll a two paper joint, but alas until then I will just have to live in your shadow.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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Bitch we are talking about some date you went on 3 goddamn days ago. Did you touch these boobs or not motherfucker? What is this "lets not get into the past" garbage son!




I just spent a whole paragraph detailing how easy it is to get laid these days, especially if you have coin and live in a place like LA or Dallas. Do you want explicit details or something? Let's put it this way, the highlight of the night was when she asked me if I go to church, I said I was Jewish, and she replied "oh I like Jewish guys 'cause I know you're circumcised".. I knew I had it in the bag from that moment on. Wish I had ordered cheaper wine.
 
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Screamfeeder

The Dirtbag
<Banned>
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Wish I had ordered cheaper wine.

tenor.gif
 
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Ambiturner

Ssraeszha Raider
16,040
19,498
Pfft. See, you ain't from here in the Inner Circle. We get to have both. In whatever backwater you are from you have to pick and choose your mates based on Brain or Body (or maybe just Breathing).

Not here my friend. The bounty is plentiful.

For the record she doesn't gives a shit about politics (Thinks Bernie is a fag and Trump is a clown), is hairless from eyebrow down and she wore this green and black yoga thing this morning that cost more than my last months Steam account. It worked son. Oh hell did it work.

So based on these long winded replies and our give and take with no answer from you, I am going to assume you didn't even get a shoulder rub against those DDD's.

Shame.

You're so full of shit
 
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Siliconemelons

Avatar of War Slayer
10,493
13,559
Pfft. See, you ain't from here in the Inner Circle. We get to have both. In whatever backwater you are from you have to pick and choose your mates based on Brain or Body (or maybe just Breathing).

Not here my friend. The bounty is plentiful.

For the record she doesn't gives a shit about politics (Thinks Bernie is a fag and Trump is a clown), is hairless from eyebrow down and she wore this green and black yoga thing this morning that cost more than my last months Steam account. It worked son. Oh hell did it work.

So based on these long winded replies and our give and take with no answer from you, I am going to assume you didn't even get a shoulder rub against those DDD's.

Shame.

we are getting near tits or gtfo ;-)

hehe
 
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spronk

FPS noob
22,478
25,386
i fucked some home improvement shit up badly this week so long story short paid for surprise expensive dinner and movie nite out, figured this was gonna be better than book club.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. It was by no means a good movie, about 50% of the movie is talking about or showing jewelry and 30% about dresses and the story and heist are nonsense, but at least i didn't want to cut my throat like many rom-coms. I also sorta now understand what it must be like for a normal woman to watch a fast and furious movie, at least I could escape into my mind palace of reviewing E3 highlights

definitely wouldn't recommend a watch for any normal guy but its good enough for a date night, preferably at home. "You won't want to kill yourself"

the absolute weirdest thing was seeing all the older women literally pancaked with makeup to look younger, i love sandra bullock in gravity and speed and shit but she looks like what Michael Jackson must have been going after
 

Harshaw

Throbbing Member
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100,396
This wasn't horrible. It was boring as fuck though. It didn't feel like there was any real tension or stakes to the whole thing.
 
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Arbitrary

Tranny Chaser
26,803
70,699
This is the fifth "Ocean's" movie and the previous one wasn't very good. It was going to be very difficult for this to be some big success. If you've got an all-female cast that's great but to expect that to drive any ticket sales is misguided. Pitching a fit after about all the white male film reviewers is just an effort to drum up controversy. In a few days I'm sure we'll be getting stories about how the cast and crew are the targets of online harassment after they dared to come out and speak about sexism in reviewing etc etc.
 

Oldbased

> Than U
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64,647
I'm more interested in Wombats GF tits and Screams GF yoga pants than this shit movie.
 
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Sentagur

Low and to the left
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Pfft. See, you ain't from here in the Inner Circle. We get to have both. In whatever backwater you are from you have to pick and choose your mates based on Brain or Body (or maybe just Breathing).

Not here my friend. The bounty is plentiful.

For the record she doesn't gives a shit about politics (Thinks Bernie is a fag and Trump is a clown), is hairless from eyebrow down and she wore this green and black yoga thing this morning that cost more than my last months Steam account. It worked son. Oh hell did it work.
I am sorry my dude but that reads like you are trying to sell a menage trois or something.