Ocean's Eight (2018)

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Il_Duce Lightning Lord Rule

Lightning Fast
<Charitable Administrator>
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WTF is this bullshit? Why would any bitches need to rob anyone when they can just marry some poor schmuck and take half his shit?

I bet no one who's robbed a casino is as rich as Tiger Woods' ex
 
  • 6Worf
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Breakdown

Gunnar Durden
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I know its been pointed out, but JESUS CHRIST Awkwafina?!?! Google her and it describes her as "Rapper, Comedian, Actor, Television Personality" and lists her first song as "My Vag"

Sounds about right
 
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ohkcrlho

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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I know its been pointed out, but JESUS CHRIST Awkwafina?!?! Google her and it describes her as "Rapper, Comedian, Actor, Television Personality" and lists her first song as "My Vag"

Sounds about right
Didn't know who the fuck she was and.....I want to go back in time

What is this shit???!!!!
 
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Breakdown

Gunnar Durden
5,776
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Didn't know who the fuck she was and.....I want to go back in time

What is this shit???!!!!

As gimmicky as this was, I like alot of the women in the cast and I would have given it a chance. But when I see that video, and her being cast, I know exactly what this is going to be like and I changed my mind.
 
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Warrik

Potato del Grande
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Seriously, fuck everything about this power to the women movement. Its so forced and canned my stomach turns. Why cant we just make great movies with interesting characters/roles vs. this "Lets retro this franchise with all women!"
 
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joz123

Potato del Grande
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They could have just made a new Ocean's movie with all dudes but have Sandra Bullock take over for Danny. Her in charge of a bunch of guys is more "women power" than just all chicks.
 
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Kaige

ReRefugee
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The guys were kind of against doing another one due to Bernie Mac's death.
 
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Blitz

<Bronze Donator>
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As gimmicky as this was, I like alot of the women in the cast and I would have given it a chance. But when I see that video, and her being cast, I know exactly what this is going to be like and I changed my mind.

Watched the trailer, was actually "ok" with it, maybe a slimmer of it being a 6.5/10 movie. But absolutely agree after that shit.

Oh well. RIP in pieces Ocean's.
 

Droigan

Trakanon Raider
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Online petition wants Damon out of ‘Ocean’s 8’

An online petition requesting that the film’s producers, George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh, remove Damon’s scene had garnered more than 27,000 signatures on Tuesday. The goal is 30,000 signatures. The petition was spurred by Damon’s recent comments on Hollywood’s sexual harassment scandal and his alleged involvement in an attempt to kill a story about Harvey Weinstein’s history of sexual misconduct.

The Damon controversy began when he was interviewed about Hollywood’s sex scandal on ABC News’ “Popcorn with Peter Travers.” He remarked: “We’re going to have to figure — you know, there’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right?”

“Damon’s inclusion would trivialize the serious nature of the charges against sexual abusers like Weinstein — a show of massive disrespect for the brave women speaking out,” read the petition.

It further stated that Damon’s appearance in the mostly-female “Ocean’s” reboot starring Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett would show a “lack of accountability for sexual harassment in the workplace that four in ten American women experience.”
 
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Madsapper

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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"...sexual harassment in the workplace that four in ten American women experience."

7-10 gets more attention (good or bad) than 6 and down, biology working as intended.
 

Seananigans

Honorary Shit-PhD
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Watched the trailer, was actually "ok" with it, maybe a slimmer of it being a 6.5/10 movie. But absolutely agree after that shit.

Oh well. RIP in pieces Ocean's.

"slimmer?" Is that a combination of it having a glimmer of coming within a sliver of 7/10?

Simply stunning, French Stewart.
 
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Blitz

<Bronze Donator>
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"slimmer?" Is that a combination of it having a glimmer of coming within a sliver of 7/10?

Simply stunning, French Stewart.
Oh shit. That was definitely meant to be sliver. A "slimmer" chance seems to be more fitting now though.
 

Ossoi

Tranny Chaser
15,402
7,665
Having tremendous fun commenting "Girls rule, women are funny, get over it" on every Oceans 8 review/article
 

Siliconemelons

Avatar of War Slayer
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Ugh anyone see this? Wife chose to see Solo over this, but mentioned she did want to go see this later.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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31,802
So I'm ashamed to admit that I got pressed into seeing this POS by my date instead of Deadpool 2. That alone should be a red flag to find another date, but she was hot so I caved.

Though I've never been a huge fan of any of the Ocean movies, they were at least entertaining and featured a selection of serviceable actors. This movie was basically just a shitty version of the previous Ocean movies with even shittier actors.

While even the previous Ocean movies required a certain level of suspension of disbelief, typically along the lines of accepting that all "steps" of their heist would play out as predicted, this movie stretches that a mile farther-- way past the point where you can accept what's going on as plausible. Basically, whoever conceived the logistics for their heist didn't even bother brainstorming for some plausible scenarios, and just rammed in a bunch of unlikely coincidences as a replacement for a logical story. It's the type of movie where as the heist unfolds, you just constantly go "oh, c'mon lol" at the unlikely series of events.

Then you've got the Ocean's "team". Sandra Bullock as the icy logistician that plots the heist-- she basically has one facial expression the entire movie, though that may be more the plastic surgery than her acting ability. You've got Cate Blanchett as a tomboy motorcycle broad, weirdo looking ghetto gangsta Asian broad as the pickpocket, Mindy kailing as a jewel specialist, Helena Carter as a fashion designer, and fucking Rihanna as their badass "IT hacker" rofl.. None of them are particularly convincing in their roles.. Watching Rihanna hack with her Macbook is particularly amusing.

Finally, if the poorly written heist wasn't bad enough, there is zero action/violence in this movie--none. No guns, no physical altercations-- not even someone getting knocked out. Now you don't need violence to make a good movie, but in a heist movie removing it entirely ups your requirement for story/character depth, of which this movie was sorely lacking. As a result, long periods just feel boring.

Oh yeah, there's only one male character in this movie that gets more than a few minutes screen time, and of course he's a rich philandering artist douchebag.

5/10 and that's kinda generous considering no violence, no nudity, no humor of worth, and a nonsensical heist plot.
 
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