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a_skeleton_03

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Jx3_sl said:
Don't know what to tell you Big a_skeleton_03, your daughter sounds exactly like my older sister. My sister would constantly sneak out, have random "accidents," just be a pain in the ass mostly. My parents tried to meet her head on, tried the whole "we trust you" routine, just everything they could think of. Nothing seemed to work. They had her tested, she did well. Nothing out of the ordinary they could find. She's 35 now with 4 kids from 4 different guys and cleans hotel rooms.
I don't think my parents did a shit job, my eldest sister is a pharmacist, I'm a teacher, one brother is a cop and the other is graduating college soon with a degree in computer science. We just have that one sister who is trash. Hopefully your daughter turns out different. Don't give up the fight.
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Yeah I have to convince the wife more than me that we might not be shit parents just you get a bad egg sometimes.

The main goal is keep her alive and damage the least until she gets old enough to maybe find some maturity in her brain. Then hopefully she snaps out of it. Maybe she won't though. Time will tell.
 
chaos

chaos

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Man, I had a whole thing typed up about my sister but I'm not doing that. idk, just don't do what my mom did, get help, real professional help, not us bunch of morons. Shit can go bad really quick.
 
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a_skeleton_03

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chaos_sl said:
Man, I had a whole thing typed up about my sister but I'm not doing that. idk, just don't do what my mom did, get help, real professional help, not us bunch of morons. Shit can go bad really quick.
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She is getting professional help but they aren't paying attention to the issues we bring up until they feel like she is ready to tackle them. It is frustrating to say the least.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

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Kedwyn_sl said:
Was chatting with someone at Party city. Forget how the topic came up but her daughter was telling us that the elementary school kids these days are using a pestle and mortar to grind up smarties and snort them like cocaine. Asked my 8 year old niece about it and she sees kids doing that as well. Seems a tad advanced. I think we had those candy cigarettes that blew sugar powder like smoke.
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I remember kids snorting pixy stix when I was in elementary/middle school, seems like the same thing.
 
chaos

chaos

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a_skeleton_03_sl said:
She is getting professional help but they aren't paying attention to the issues we bring up until they feel like she is ready to tackle them. It is frustrating to say the least.
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idk, maybe look at other providers, a second opinion couldn't hurt. Sometimes, i am sure, you just have to let shit play out and let kids mature a bit. I was certainly no prize as a teenager and am shocked I am where I am today. I would just stay on top of it.
 
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a_skeleton_03

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chaos_sl said:
idk, maybe look at other providers, a second opinion couldn't hurt. Sometimes, i am sure, you just have to let shit play out and let kids mature a bit. I was certainly no prize as a teenager and am shocked I am where I am today. I would just stay on top of it.
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Yeah we are on our third therapist.
 
Tuco

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a_skeleton_03_sl said:
Yeah I have to convince the wife more than me that we might not be shit parents just you get a bad egg sometimes.

The main goal is keep her alive and damage the least until she gets old enough to maybe find some maturity in her brain. Then hopefully she snaps out of it. Maybe she won't though. Time will tell.
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One thing that both frightens and comforts me is that every family I know with 3+ kids and good parents has wildly different results in all their kids. There's good and bad parents out there, and they have an impact on their kids, but man is it weird to see a family of four where one person goes to law school, another because a medical doctor, another becomes a dish washer and another becomes a homeless drug addict. Those are obviously career-focused ways to look at their lives and a career is only a part of someon'es life, but in this case it's just a sample of the people as a whole.
 
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a_skeleton_03

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Tuco_sl said:
One thing that both frightens and comforts me is that every family I know with 3+ kids and good parents has wildly different results in all their kids. There's good and bad parents out there, and they have an impact on their kids, but man is it weird to see a family of four where one person goes to law school, another because a medical doctor, another becomes a dish washer and another becomes a homeless drug addict. Those are obviously career-focused ways to look at their lives and a career is only a part of someon'es life, but in this case it's just a sample of the people as a whole.
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Yeah the randomness of kids helps me sleep at night! I could have a billion dollars or be bankrupt and my kid might do well with money. I can be a moron (am I already?) or Hawkings and my kids might go to Harvard.

I just have to get them to survive with the least amount of emotional and physical scars until their brain kicks in and wakes up.

Shortly before my died died I just told him that if I was half the handful that my son is, who isn't really an issue, then I am sorry. He just smiled and said I was 10x worse.
 
Izo

Izo

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lpIJfCQ.jpg

Might as well go all in, a_skeleton_03.
 
Falstaff

Falstaff

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Introduce her to message boards. That way she can be crazy and have multiple personas online and be totally normal in real life.
 
iannis

iannis

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I have no helpful advice.

She's lookin for love in all the wrong places. I see that occassionally with 18/19 year olds and it makes you a little sad. I imagine that when it's your own 14 year old daughter it makes you a lot sad.

Put birth control in her oatmeal every day.

At LEAST she's just latched onto some guy up in Michigan. It could easily be worse than that. It's a moderately safe way to rebel, maybe, as long as she doesn't have the gumption or the spare cash to fly away. I mean you're not having to chase a boy out of her bedroom at night. That would be worse.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

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The terrible twos are starting to appear in our kid.

Hates riding in the stroller, throws a fit, so we let him out to walk and he loves to run off(likes to be chased, thinks its funny). So we make him hold our hand, and anytime we hold his hand he does the whole "goes limp and drops to the ground" bit, and won't walk. The only way he will hold our hand is if my wife and I each hold a hand, so he can swing like a little monkey. That obviously gets quite tiring pretty quick for us. Went to a Royals game this weekend and making our way across a busy parking lot to the stadium took FOREVER. He wouldn't walk while holding our hand, but it was too dangerous to let him walk through a busy parking lot with thousands of cars around. I had to carry him the entire half mile or whatever it was, while he screamed and squirmed the whole time.

Going anywhere is a goddamned nightmare...not quite sure how we're going to fix this...
 
taebin

taebin

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You don't go anywhere until he's like 4. We have a 22 month old and I can't imagine going anywhere with him, let alone a baseball game. Tried a restaurant a couple weeks ago, within 20 seconds he had broken two ceramic plates.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Our son finally went over the hump in terms of being manageable. Before this he was basically crying nonstop all day and night if he wasn't asleep or eating. He needed to co-sleep, and at worst need to sleep laying on top of someone. No joke he was literally crying all day long, I can't even describe how shitty that is.

Switched him to formula and he's doing better with that, eats a fuckton. Has the worst smelling poops I've ever seen now to go along with that. Sleeping on his own finally.. still wakes up every few hours to eat, but goes right back to bed. We've tried the scheduled nap thing this past week and it's just too difficult right now, he seems really random about when and how much he wants to eat.

The best part is how happy he seems now. For whatever reason, he finds me to be the funniest person in the world. I can say something like "Hello" and he bursts out laughing.. well, he does a huge smile and does that explosion of movement because he doesn't know how to laugh yet. My wife is upset and thinks he likes me more, I think he thinks i'm just retarded - told him it's not nice to laugh at people with special needs.

It was just really depressing to work all day and come home to a kid that screamed from the moment you walked in the door until he sort of went to bed for an hour later on at night. Feeling happier about the dude now.

Someone told me children will be colicky until 3 months and then it disappears overnight. We never diagnosed him as colic, but he did get prescribed something for acid reflux so I started to think he might be colicky. Anyways, he turned 3 months on friday and instantly was a different kid.
 
opiate82

opiate82

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3 months is still a little early for sleep training and setting a nap schedule probably, I'd still just let him do his thing on his schedule for now. Probably start trying to be a little more regimented starting at 4 months but might be up until he is 6 months old before he will really start falling into a routine (usual every baby is different caveats apply).

Glad to hear he is turning to corner though. I feel extremely lucky our daughter has always been very happy and easily soothed, the constant screaming sounds terrible.
 
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a_skeleton_03

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For the terrible twos we nipped that in the bud immediately.

They wanted to do something that was bad they got a swat on the backside and were not entertained at all just to placate them. We just left.

You threw a fit about the stroller you didn't get the stroller next time and then you appreciated it more. It worked well for us but you have to start that process ASAP if that is what you want to do. If you let even a little bit of it take hold it's hard to break. You have to be willing to just leave from any situation to really sink it in for them. They are a little shit at McDonalds you pick up their food and throw it away and get in the car and go home, immediately. If they see you don't play around they will test your limits less ... until they are a 14 year old girl.
 
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Kedwyn

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Yeah we nipped the temper tantrums, running off, not holding our hands stuff the second it happened in the bud. Same with acting out, throwing stuff and all that kind of bull shit parents let their kids get away with. Simply put, if you allow it, they will do it. Most times a really firm "NO!" with stopping the offending behavior is enough. You just have to do it on queue when it starts. Not after you allow the behavior for 5 minutes and finally get pissed off and do something about it. I see that all the fucking time. Stop doing that, I'm going to count to three, one, two, three, I said stop doing that, put that down, stop blah blah blah. Then they wonder why the kid won't listen to them.

If you're firm and consistent then they'll get the picture really fast. If you're wishy washy and let them run a muck at home they aren't going to be able to sit still and be nice when out. Its much easier to keep them in line when you start from the beginning doing this. Trying to reverse the habits later on becomes exponentially harder.
 
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