Parent Thread

Kinner_sl said:

My thoughts are not religious as a whole, there is some religion there, but more personal beliefs. If I was meant to have a kid, then I would be able to naturally. I'm not getting in to medical specifics here, but basically it is a no go to use what sperm I do have, they simply do not work and we are not doing the ICSI procedure, which is not guaranteed to work and is quite costly.

I do not consider IVI as a major invitro procedure. It can be performed at home and is not terribly expensive.

Since I can not physically give my wife a child and let her experience childbirth while she is healthy, then IVI or IUI is the way to go for us. We could possibly adopt our second child, or we could perform the procedure again and the kids would have the same father, if we chose.

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What about TESA and then ICSI? Should be a no brainer, unless you have a severe hereditary condition you do not want passed on. This can be corrected in some cases as well. Personally I'd jump on the chance to be dad genetically as well. ICSI is extremely cool. Also, it's awesome to tell your kid in the voice of Dave Chappelle 'you used to live in my balls, man'

Curious, how much are standard IVF vs ICSI there? In my end of the world, Europe, it's usually around $7K vs $8.5K for package deals, 3 treatments, and a $500'ish more for women aged 40+.

Izo_sl said:

What about TESA and then ICSI? Should be a no brainer, unless you have a severe hereditary condition you do not want passed on. This can be corrected in some cases as well. Personally I'd jump on the chance to be dad genetically as well. ICSI is extremely cool. Also, it's awesome to tell your kid in the voice of Dave Chappelle 'you used to live in my balls, man'

Curious, how much are standard IVF vs ICSI there? In my end of the world, Europe, it's usually around $7K vs $8.5K for package deals, 3 treatments, and a $500'ish more for women aged 40+.

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Like I said, we are not going to do ICSI or TESA like that. 10k+ per try at least.

Change like that can be hard. I can only imagine, as my little guy isn't at that point yet for daycare, but I can only offer that things happen for a reason, and maybe if you do actually have to switch daycare/nanny providers, that it will be for the better?

Bros and broettes, I was just going out to eat with the family when some horrid shit happened. These girls were crossing the street about 20-30 feet down from the intersection, a very busy intersection. But it was a red light. 2 or 3 of the girls went ahead and left one sitting back in the median. They were yelling at her and she waved them ahead. My wife and I were commenting on what they were wearing, groaning at the hookers that our daughters may one day become. When the last girl was crossing the street she got hit by a car doing at least 25-30 in the right turn lane. My wife heard it and looked over and told me. I looked, we were calling 911 like everyone else in the intersection. My wife says "Oh she's moving." I look and say "No, she's seizing..." Her friends didn't even know she'd been hit till and old guy who got out of his car to help yelled for them to come back. I guess she got airlifted out of there. No way she was older than 15. There wasn't much blood, but it looked very very bad.

It reminded me of conversations I have at work with some of the older dads, about how you can only parent so much and the rest is up to them. Shit, man that was awful.

Chaos that is really rough, sorry you had to see that even more sorry for that poor girl and her family.

On the ICSI and IVF topic.

IVF in the US runs around 10kish with another 4k to 6k for drugs depending on what you need. So around 15-16k a throw. Depending on age and clinic you are looking at 40-60% success rate. If they are able to freeze embryos you are looking at 5kish for another chance until those run out. Frozen cycles tend to have higher success rates because they only freeze really solid looking blasts. Nothing frozen? full round again.

ICSI is around 1,500 more than a full priced straight IVF.

Some states have mandated coverage. Most do not. Some group plans will pay for it, most do not cover it.

ICSI / IVF:
You'd think it would be a incentive to travel abroad for the treatment? More than half price here anyway.

@chaos
I had a similar visual experience waiting for the bus to work a few years back. A 18-19'ish girl on her bicycle going straight at the intersection next to my bus stop, she was run over by a guy in his huge lorry, going right. The girl on the bike got caught between the double lorry wheels, spinning, screaming, blood everywhere, bicycle completely wrecked. The lorry stopped, and she screamed her lungs out for 2 minutes before the shock knocked her out. The lorry driver had his 5'ish year old kid with him, whom cried and cried, while the driver held his hands up to his head in disbelief. Cops arrived after 2 mins, ambulance arrived 3 minutes later, got her out, rushed to hospital. I stood there completely shocked, blank for several minutes, then my bus came, got on, almost like a trance. I remember the passengers on the bus talking 'I don't see an ambulance, can't be that bad then'. Fuck. I wondered for several years if she'd made it or not. Saw her on a local tv talkshow, scared, crippled, wheelchair, but alive. Yeah, I think talking to your wife and others, processing it, is a good idea. It might come back to haunt you otherwise.

In less depressing news... my wife sent me this:

http://thehandmadedress.blogspot.com...ple-bunks.html

If we hadn'talready spent like 3 grand on their bedroom furniture I would consider this, I really like that.

i never t alk about this :

my wife and i did ivf due to a miscarriage etc down to one tube yadda yadda...they harvested 8 eggs from her, first treatment did 2 fertilized eggs

first treatment took...both of them...so i have my 8yr(9 next month) old twins
we have hmo blue,
the ivf treatment cost us--including 4 months bedrest, a visiting nurse weekly, bi monthly checkups & a scheduled c-section (she cannot do natural birth, the canal has a spur or something that prevents the head turn)

500 dollars. TOTAL.

we still have the eggs in storage (600ish a year ) & their cord blood in storage as well

I build a lot of IVF equipment. There's some pretty good stuff out there, and the doctors seem to have these unlimited budgets for new gear.

Tarrant_sl said:

It's hard. She's set on looking for a new job and says she wants to keep on until she finds one.

Well yeah that's fine and well lady but I need to now enroll my son in a place and as soon as I find one for him that's good I'm going ahead with it. You're on my schedule now.

That said, I usually have weekends off, to help with the adjustment I'm going to try and pick up weekends and then work 3 days during the week. There are a few places near us that seem to have good educational progams involved and aren't just aren't about 7 hours of supervised play time.

Still though, I'm a wreck right now. With his communication development delay he's not going to know really whats going on when I drop him off that first day. He's just going to see me leaveing him at some strange place and wonder why I left him.

The thought of it guts me.

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That is hard. I had the same thing happen to my littlest guy at 3. However, it turned into a wonderful thing. I found a different person to take care of him. There are great people out there, and I brought him to her home 4 days a week. I really wanted him to not be in a classroom situation yet, because he has so many years of classrooms ahead of him (that's just my thing, I'm saying nothing bad about going that route). The new woman was amazing. And he took to her right away.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, but it could be very good, and it could even help your 3 year old to open up a bit to new people prior to getting to school, where everyone encounters lots of new people.

On a completely different note, this is a really good (imo) pro-breastfeeding in public poem. It's a thing with us right now, as my wife is breastfeeding and sometimes food time happens to come when we are out. Usually just go back to the car for a few, but can't always. It really pisses me off our attitude about public breastfeeding (especially when as my wife does, the breast is covered by a cloth anyway).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiS8q_fifa0

We're an extremely sexually repressed society. That's why there's so much fear of breastfeeding. It's because some of our creepy lawmakers look at it as a sexual act as opposed to a way of giving nourishment to your children.

Good poem, nice find. Colostrum and the first 6'ish months the milk is loaded with IgG, absolute gold for your baby's defense and survival. Fuck anyone giving your wife shit for breastfeeding. This should be taught in grade school imho, human 101.

My wife went out to lunch just herself and the baby once and was breastfeeding at the table and some people actually complained. The manager laughed it off, but still, weird. Really weird that someone would look at that and think "that is offensive, she should be ashamed."

The most frustrating to me is when it is other parents with kids that are giving off that attitude. Several times when I have nursed in public I've had a parent with their kids walk past me and the parent will put them self between me and the kids and kind of usher them away so they can't see. I ALWAYS use a nursing cover, you can't see a damn thing and still they act like it is a dirty, shameful thing. They are parents themselves ffs and their kids were nursing not too long ago, wth. I don't understand the attitude of the body is something to be ashamed of and hidden. Nursing is the most natural thing there is and I still feel like we are meant to hide it.

That's seriously retarded, breastfeeding is the most normal thing ever. It's not like you're making babies in public.

Any of you have experience with newborns that have reflux issues? Every time we feed our baby, we hold him upright for a good 30-60 minutes after feedings(which really sucks in the middle of the night), but there's still a good 50% chance(if not more) that he's going to absolutely scream his head off when we lay him down flat on his back in bed. Spits up a ton, and I assume it's burning his throat too, making him scream/cry.

The doctors tell us he should grow out of it within a few months(this is very common in preemies), but I was hoping to find a quicker solution so that one of us doesn't have to basically be up with him all night. It's doable now, but when my wife goes back to work in a month, it's going to really suck if this is still going on.

We've considered just letting him sleep in his bouncy seat, as that keeps him at about a 45-degree angle or so, enough to cut down on the reflux drastically, but my wife is paranoid about him getting used to sleeping in that, and not his crib. I'm arguing that him getting comfortable sleeping in his bouncy seat is better than him having to sleep while we hold him upright, if you have to choose one.

Anyone have any ideas/suggestions?

We tried Maalox and Mylicon (gas drops) for our second baby. I was surprised she gained any weight at all with how much she spit up. Luckily we rarely had problems with it causing pain. My third spit up even more but never had any pain from it at all and gained weight even better.

Also try something like this in the crib. It will keep him in the crib so you won't have problems with it later and will keep him at the angle safely. There are a ton of similar products, just google crib wedge for reflux.