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Valorath

Vyemm Raider
1,418
2,807
It’s an absolute horrible feeling to see them in pain and not know what to do or how to help. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can Koush.

Here’s to hoping the blood tests come back with something treatable.
 

Burren

Silver Baronet of the Realm
6,288
10,526
She's in so much pain. I don't know what to do. I took her to the vet again yesterday. She can't walk at all. She tries to get up sometimes and immediately collapses. She peed herself on the way to the vet yesterday and hasn't used the bathroom since. I fed her with a syringe this morning. I tried to help her get to the litter box, but I just made things worse. I put her back on the bed with pads underneath her. She tried just now to get up to try to get to the box, but didn't even make it to the edge of the bed. They took blood yesterday at the vet to screen for FIP and whatever else, but it could be a few days before the results come back and before treatment can start if the panels even come back showing anything on them. I'm so tired. I don't know what to do. They couldn't give her any more pain meds than what she's already on and they're not helping at all.

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Best thing you can do is just be there with her.
 

Koushirou

Log Wizard
<Gold Donor>
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Called the vet and explained the situation from this morning. Some of the tests had come back, but nothing showed anything that could give an answer. The options at this point were try to take her over an hour away to a specialist ER and see if they can figure out what's going on or let her go. The vet called ahead to the ER to go over everything with them and see what their course of action would be if I brought her in. At the minimum, she'd go under $5-6k worth of tests for something that both vets have referred to as "a mystery." There's no guarantee they're going to find out what's wrong, most likely they'll have to hospitalize her, which means there's a chance she just passes while I'm not even there and I'd never forgive myself. Not to mention, all the pain and stress she'll be under just getting her into her carrier, driving her all the way out there, going through all the tests. I hate thinking this way, but I've already spent about $2k on her just this year with the issues she's been having, from the cold, to the broken tooth, then the uveitis, now this. Between the divorce and the job loss last year, I'm already struggling financially. If they knew what was going on and said, hey it's $5k to fix, then fine, I'll figure it out somehow. Shit, I'd even put my worthless tits on here if I had to. But I don't know if I can afford to throw thousands of dollars are possibly still have no idea what's going on, or whatever treatment costs if they do figure it out. And in the meantime, she's still going to be in all this pain. I don't know what the right thing to do is.
 

Sludig

Potato del Grande
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12,786
Called the vet and explained the situation from this morning. Some of the tests had come back, but nothing showed anything that could give an answer. The options at this point were try to take her over an hour away to a specialist ER and see if they can figure out what's going on or let her go. The vet called ahead to the ER to go over everything with them and see what their course of action would be if I brought her in. At the minimum, she'd go under $5-6k worth of tests for something that both vets have referred to as "a mystery." There's no guarantee they're going to find out what's wrong, most likely they'll have to hospitalize her, which means there's a chance she just passes while I'm not even there and I'd never forgive myself. Not to mention, all the pain and stress she'll be under just getting her into her carrier, driving her all the way out there, going through all the tests. I hate thinking this way, but I've already spent about $2k on her just this year with the issues she's been having, from the cold, to the broken tooth, then the uveitis, now this. Between the divorce and the job loss last year, I'm already struggling financially. If they knew what was going on and said, hey it's $5k to fix, then fine, I'll figure it out somehow. Shit, I'd even put my worthless tits on here if I had to. But I don't know if I can afford to throw thousands of dollars are possibly still have no idea what's going on, or whatever treatment costs if they do figure it out. And in the meantime, she's still going to be in all this pain. I don't know what the right thing to do is.
We are no stranger to big animal expenses. 6k last year on a dog with rare fungal thing. 5k a decade ago on a young shepherd. Many smaller 1k surgeries. So no stranger to paying out.

That said, no matter how much you love them, people tend to put too much morality into it like choosing to put down a parent. It's just not and at some point you have to be objective about the facts you have to work with. My wife is guilty of trying to wait too long and just having an animal in pain longer than need be.

There's a million what ifs, maybe a different doc figures it out. Just as easily they won't. From everything you've stated, the pragmatic 3rd party observation would be it's painful but best to let the cat go.

As you said it there was a reasonable level of promise of spend x to fix, it's a calculus to make. But when it's thousands just to search for a diagnosis much less if a cure even possible, and being realistic about your finances, the whole time the cat is suffering. The choice seems clear even if upsetting, but you can't find yourself 5-6k in debt facing another several k on top of that or a dead cat plus the bill. You could take a fraction of that money and rescue 2-3 new kitties and give them great lives as well.
 
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Koushirou

Log Wizard
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Not going to make a decision today. Vet asked if I just wanted to try a steroid combo. I know this route usually just kind of buys a couple better days before it just goes to shit again. But maybe it can buy enough time for the rest of the blood work to come back. Maybe one of those results will give more info. But if not, or if the steroids just...don't do anything, then yeah, will probably have to let her go. She's miserable. I don't want her in pain. Will see how things are in the morning. She managed to get herself up and to the box and was able to pee, so hopefully she's at least more comfortable now. While I was out of the room, she also managed to move herself under my desk into one of her usual spots. I'm not going to try and move her again. If she wants to just stay there, then I'll just sleep in here with her tonight. Pretty sure I know what the result will be, though...
 
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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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There comes a point where you're gonna hate yourself no matter what you do, so you gotta try to take the emotions out of it.

My dog was losing bladder control and her back legs were getting so bad she couldn't move or squat or climb stairs or even just be happy. Her tail had been tucked for months. Was she alive and alert and healthy? Yeah. But there's a serious quality of life issue involved with the other shit, and it really was the right thing to do. Would I have loved to have kept her and struggled thru for another year? Absolutely. I would carry her up and down the stairs until I was physically incapable of carrying her if I had the choice. But that's not really the point. Objectively, ending her suffering in a comfortable environment and letting her go was the right thing to do, even if it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and even if I've regretted it every day. I still regret it - but it was still the right thing to do.

It is possible to do everything right and still lose. And that's what end of life for an animal you care for is. You do everything you can, everything you should, and you still lose your best friend. No real way around it.

The good news is that you get to have a new bond with another animal. Just don't be like me and panic buy one and now you're stuck with a retarded snuffalupagus malligator.
 
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Janx

<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
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Shit, I'd even put my worthless tits on here if I had to.
Sucks about the pet =/ Coworker just lost her dog a few days ago that I was really fond of and played with and even had sleep near me a few times. Wish I had gone back to see it a few more times before it passed.
Also inb4 Izo Izo
captain hook smiling GIF
 
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Koushirou

Log Wizard
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The steroids gave her some relief, and at least bought some time. But the last test came in tonight for the toxoplasmosis. It was negative as well, so we still don’t know what’s wrong with her. So it’s time. We’re going to say goodbye to her tomorrow.
 
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Otto

<Silver Donator>
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The steroids gave her some relief, and at least bought some time. But the last test came in tonight for the toxoplasmosis. It was negative as well, so we still don’t know what’s wrong with her. So it’s time. We’re going to say goodbye to her tomorrow.
I'm sorry, Koushirou.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
59,078
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The steroids gave her some relief, and at least bought some time. But the last test came in tonight for the toxoplasmosis. It was negative as well, so we still don’t know what’s wrong with her. So it’s time. We’re going to say goodbye to her tomorrow.

Oof. I know how hard that is. It seems to me from what you've said that you're really making the right decision. Focus on the pain she won't suffer.
 
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Burren

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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The steroids gave her some relief, and at least bought some time. But the last test came in tonight for the toxoplasmosis. It was negative as well, so we still don’t know what’s wrong with her. So it’s time. We’re going to say goodbye to her tomorrow.
We've all been there. You don't know us, we don't know you, but this forum can still show support and understanding if you need it.
 
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Kajiimagi

<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
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The steroids gave her some relief, and at least bought some time. But the last test came in tonight for the toxoplasmosis. It was negative as well, so we still don’t know what’s wrong with her. So it’s time. We’re going to say goodbye to her tomorrow.
Sorry to hear that , it fucking sucks.
 
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Sludig

Potato del Grande
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The steroids gave her some relief, and at least bought some time. But the last test came in tonight for the toxoplasmosis. It was negative as well, so we still don’t know what’s wrong with her. So it’s time. We’re going to say goodbye to her tomorrow.
I'm sorry, it certainly is one of those things that makes you debate if having fur babies is even worth the heartache at the end. I think I said in this thread a month or so ago we lost 2 dogs in one day that we've had pretty much the whole time we have been together. Real staples in our lives for 12 years. And more than cats, I do think dogs have so many unique personalities and it's tough hole to fill finding one that has the same quirks. With a whole farm of animals I care about and 7 dogs, it's really starting to suck because I have some kind of loss every year now. Hell sometimes think ditch them all and go back to saltwater fish, but I was pretty upset when losing bigger 2lb fish that also seemed to get to know you.

Don't rush into another, if nothing else from your other threads with everything else going on in your life it's probably a good time to go a year without added responsibility and limitations on where you might need to move. But just tell yourself, when your ready you should have the money to take on the right cats or other animals that fate crosses with you. Very few of our dogs are ever ones we went looking for, but life just brought them to us when they needed a home. And we've been lucky to have the resources and patience to deal with what feels like every single one having some kind of mental illness.

This week the new dog has given us some challenges.
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But we work through it because we know so many people don't tolerate one disaster or another for dogs that are otherwise sweet and great companions.

Although short term did have to go nuclear with fortifications

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Koushirou

Log Wizard
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It's going to be really hard coming home and opening the door and not having Sansa be there brushing up against everything. I'd only been at my job for a little bit, but my coworkers already all knew her and loved her when she would show up on camera during the dev weekly on Thursday tapping me on the shoulder when the meeting went on too long. Sometimes, she would just reach for my face and try to pull me in because she wanted to give kisses. When we'd go to sleep, before she got herself comfy, she'd always come over to me first and give me a sniff and a lick before she curled up herself. She had so much foof, she'd use it like a squid as a defense mechanism and whenever Arya was being an ass would eject a cloud of poof as she escaped. She had the most glorious bush of a tail, though she did use it as a poop brush on more than one occasion. And probably the derpiest thing I watched her do was when I brought her home a new springy stick toy; she ran around with this thing all over the apartment carrying it around in her mouth, then just suddenly stopped, ran over to her litter box, dropped the toy in, and then took a massive shit right on top of it and buried it.

Even in the end here when she was in so much pain, she never swatted at anyone, she never tried to bite anyone. Every vet that ever met her said she was beautiful and one of the sweetest cats they'd ever met (yeah, I'm sure they say this for everyone, but I'm taking it anyway). She was an absolute sweetheart. She loved everyone who came in the door. She's the first cat I've ever had and goddamn, did I hit the fucking jackpot. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect cat. I'm so fucking lucky I got to spend 10 years with her. I've lost Bruce, I even lost the stray I was taking care of for some months outside, and now Sansa. We were able to bring Arya in to say goodbye, as well. I hope this helps her; she was a mess after Bruce left. Hopefully, she was able to understand a little bit.

Goodbye, sweet Sansa.

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Avatar of Nyx

Trakanon Raider
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Im sorry Kou, wish we had a hug reaction, but I fear for how that would be used in the FSR.

Like Burren said above, I wouldnt know any of you if we passed on the street, but Im oddly attached to the stories I read about your pets. Hell even my wife has seen the pictures of Zelda and her derpy counterpart, Bruce, all the other pups that have been posted and now Sansa. Remember the love, grieve the loss, and one day when you're ready, I know we're all looking forward to the pics of the next kitten to stroll into the Post Your Pet thread.
 
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